My Absence from the Blogsphere...

Thanks for all the wishes and prayers. Alhamdulillah, my pregnancy is going out pretty well here (though I still have the sickness)...

I know I have been disconnected from blogging for almost a month. Apart from the regular sick leaves that I took (my boss mesti fed-up punya, but I can't help it), let just admit I am in a mental block state for the last few weeks. Agaknya kalau lama sangat tak menulis ni, otak berkarat...Even now it is still berkarat...

This "berkaratness" started off with a one week MC that I was forced to take, leaving me internet-less (and blog-less) at home. I had brown spotting/staining for 6 days. Seriously, I freaked out at the first sight of the spotting!! Yikes!! What do I do? What have I done? One thing for sure, Rafiqah is trying to become a doctor by pepandai reduce the dosage of her Duphaston, just because she could not stand the effect/sickness. At that point of time, I told myself if anything happens to the baby, I am the one who is supposed to be blamed...

So both me and hubby rushed to the gynae for an immediate check-up. Alhamdulillah, the sac is still intact...and we also witnessed the baby's heartbeat for the first time! Gynae gave me jap to further strenghten my womb. Ouch!

I was advised to rest in bed till the spotting stops. Minus the sickness, it was a bliss to be able to rest at home as I got to spend time with Ashraff. But after a while, without internet, confined to bed and ran out of materials to read and unable to replenish the stock, made me bored. Kena-kena pulak credit handphone pulak habis! Seriously mati kutu!

Thank God it lasted for 6 days only and then I am off to work. It is not that I am excited to go to the office (my goal is to work@home, remember?!), but being able to feel alive and kicking bring out the best in me. On the way to work, I already planned on what to do. Check emails, reply important emails, blog and blog hopping, top-up my credit etc,etc, etc.

But as I reached office...Alamak! Banyaknya kerja! Stress, stress. No time to check personal emails (as the official ones dah cukup memeningkan kepala), and what more to blog.

And bila dah 2 minggu tak blog, the "berkaratness" has taken its toll. Can u sense how berkarat I am with the bahasa rojak I wrote in this entry?!

It wasn't easy this time around...

I felt sick all day. It wasn't as easy as the first time.

I am 7 weeks pregnant. I am happy and grateful to Allah for granting my prayers to conceive the second time. Just like what we have planned, a two-year age gap between our Ashraff and his baby brother/sister. Alhamdulillah.

It is too early to shout about and tell the whole world. But I just think I have to share the pain and worry I am going through...

The first ultrasound image of the gestational sac does not look good. According to the Obgyn at the maternity clinic that I visited, the sac looked unstable. A normal gestatinal sac should show a 'double sac sign'. Meaning which, there is a thick outline of white in colour surrounding the sac, which is black in colour.

This is how the normal sac looks like.
But mine, the line is vague. It was not as clear as Ashraff's. Doctor asked me few times (like as if she does not believe of my answer) whether I have any spotting and bleeding. My answer is 'No'. So far so good, alhamdulillah. What she told me next scares me to death. She told me only 15% of pregnant women is in this condition. 15%!!! Like out of 100, only 15 women shared the same experience! Yikes!!

I asked her the reason for this. She told me that my pregnancy hormone is low. Thus, the sac is unstable. So, she gave me this medication called 'Duphaston' which is very pricey indeed. RM3 for one tablet and I have to take 2 tablets a day. She gave me 20 tablets so all in all, it costed me RM60 for Duphaston alone, excluding the consultation and folic acid cost.

I don't mind the price, just as long as the feotus inside me grows normally. Hubby advised me not to worry that much. I tried not to think of it that much but as you sit alone (like sekarang ni), I kept thinking of the situation I am in. If only I have one ultrasound machine at home, I will do the scanning every day and see how it goes!

And I feel sad for not having to be able to carry Ashraff everytime he wants me to do it since the sac inside me is too fragile. There are times when Ashraff insisted me to carry and cuddle him, but all I am allowed to do is just to kneel down and hug him. Though he still jumped up and down wanting me to carry him, but I just can't. And I have to asked Hubby or my maid to do it. Ahhhh...I feel bad...

Now let me tell you the Duphaston effect. It was bad! I feel nausea and vomitting every single meal that I consumed. I do not like the taste of plain water. Every morning, I have to drag my feet to work. I am completely flat during last weekend. I could not accompany Hubby to Sogo and KLCC to search for his new backpack. I could not cook for the family. And here I am sitting in my office room, feeling dizzy after a round of throwing up, writing this entry.

It wasn't this bad with Ashraff. I am energetic. Pregnancy that time was great! My face glowed throughout the whole 40 weeks. I only suffered a mild 'night sickness' during the first trimester, and that's it!

Guess, it is totally different this time around. I have heard people saying that the first trimester effect is due to psychology...Hmmm...and some said it is due to age factor...Hmmm...And another said can be due to metabolism rate...Hmmm...I would say that it depends on your luck.

Whatever the effect might be, I just wish that everything goes out well for the baby and me. I hope in my next check-up which is due in two weeks time, I would be able to see the heartbeat of my unborn baby. I just hope that I could enjoy this pregnancy just like I did the first time...Please pray for us...

A Costly Journey

Just came back from our Balik Kampung Trip last two days. This time around, it is very costly indeed. All in all, with journey to Kulai for Fitri's cousin engagement, then Johor Bharu for a sleepover at Tok Mak's house, then the next day to Kota Tinggi to visit Fitri's uncle, and then proceed to MIL's house in Pontian, has cost us RM310!!!.

This hike in petrol price has definitely burned hole in our pocket. Macamana nak pergi Cuti-Cuti Malaysia ni???!!!

Ashraff 'ambil upah'...

I'm grinning from ear to ear when reading this entry made by another blogging mommy...Thanks a lot my friend!

That's not the only reason I am thrilled, though. Another reason is the fact that Ashraff has fully recovered from a high fever he suffered from for the last 4 days. Remember how I was feeling guilty for having to lost my temper at him the other day? After lunch, on the same day, I received a phone call from my mother telling me Ashraff's temperature has gone up. This news definitely caused the super-guilty mother to blame herself for what had happened, thinking that the fever was all her fault.

After merely depending on fever medication and antibiotics for the next three days, we brought Ashraff to the specialist. Paeditrician suspected it was a dengue and recommended for a blood test. But this stubborn mama opposed to the suggestion and decided to leave with the medication he prescribed Ashraff with. And a promise to return should the fever did not subside for good for the next two days.

Alhamdulillah, it finally decided to go away on the same day we brought Ashraff to the paeditrician (saja je nak suruh Ibu & Ayah paid the specialist fees). And both me and Hubby..and even Ashraff were overjoyed about it, despite every one of us looking haggard due to insufficient sleep.

Something which I noticed once he had recovered from the fever is he gained a lot of new skills and extra vocabs. My mother told me the fever is probably to 'nak ambil upah' for being able to acquire new skills.

Some of Ashraff’s new skills are as follows:-

· Being able to identify and point out his Ayah’s car at a parking lot as big as KLCC’s.
· Not only Ayah but his Atok Abah’s car too.
· Dictate us on when he wants to see his favourite Disney Playhouse Channel on Astro. Me and hubby were watching CSI and the case was just about to be solved, when Ashraff suddenly came to us, brought along the remote control, pointed at the TV and uttered some meaningless words. But when we tried to ignore him, the louder he sounded and started to throw tantrum. So, there goes our CSI that night…
· Persuades us to open the TV the moment he get up from sleep.
· Being able to imitate melody perfectly.
· More precaution if he wants to jump from a chair or table. Guess he has developed more cause-and-effect sense.

And his new vocabs are:-
· Je-Je (for Jojo the Circus)
· Sing song that somehow the words do make sense like ‘Wai, Wai, ge way’ (for Rain,rain, go away).
· Air, instead of ‘Air Keda’ for anything in liquid form, even his milk.
· One-Two
· Ba-Ba (for Atok Abah)
· Mak (for Atok Mak)
· Bibi (for Bibik, my maid).

But Ibu??? Masih tak pass…Even ‘Bu’ pun tidak!!!

Oh yeah, something so obvious lately is his baby-babble speech has changed from a lot of ‘ke, a, pe, de’ to a lot of ‘ish, ush, oh, ahh. It must have come from watching too much Disney Playhouse Channel till all his words sounds more of English than Malay…Ahhh kids nowadays…

What have I done??!!

What's got into me yesterday??

Ashraff has pushed my patience to its limit, and I was in rage..towards him..

But when he cried himself to sleep...


A feeling of guilt and regret rushed through me..
Oh why can't I be a little bit more patient??
I kissed and hugged him while he's sleeping..but that did not wash the guilt away...

This morning, I left to work...and he is still sleeping...
And this impatient mother is still blaming herself for not being able to hold back her anger yesterday...

I can see his smiley face everywhere now...I want to go back home and be there the first time he opens his eyes, greeting me good morning...

What's got into me yesterday??

Watch out for INFLATION folks!

Fuel price has ridiculously increase by 30 cents. BLR (Base Lending Rate) will follow suit. Soon, other goods and services will too. The effect is of course, INFLATION!! And who suffers the most?! We, of course!

Hubby had gone ballistic over this issue yesterday. He has done his calculation and looks like the hike in petrol price has caused a major blow in our financial budget, with balik kampung and what not. Even increment in salary (yang teramatlah ciput tu) would not be able to cover our very-soon-to-be fatter expenses. Pening, pening...Sometimes I wonder what it would be like for those lower-income earner than us, with a greater number of family member. They must have suffered the most.

At least for us, we have started to use public transport to go to work. But to tell you the truth, despite hubby very much liking to go to work with LRT and such since he doesn't have to drive, this lady of comfort (moi!) do not quite like it. Probably I was pampered all this while because I was chauffeured-driven back and forth to work, so I could catch up on sleeping time, eat, adjust my tudung, put on my lipstick etc in the car. Now, I have to walked in the rain or under the hot sun to go to Putra LRT, changed to Star, then take feeder bus back home. Hubby made a remark "Naik Star and bus pun chauffeur-driven jugak..Some more it is a good exercise since u nak sangat kuruskan badan tu..." Oh well, kalau dah spoilt tu spoilt jugak..

**************

On a different note, Hubby is shifting to a new working place, under different company that is. He has received an offer from UMW toyota, a company that he has been eyeing for quite sometime. The only drawback now is that he has to travel all the way to Shah Alam to work. And lots of outstation trip too!! I don't mind (I hope I don't) just as long as he is happy.

So, with the current company that he is attached to, it only lasted for 8 months since it is a contract basis and a probability for them not renewing his contract is there. As a wife, I am happy for him and wish him all the best in his new venture!

Life needs PURPOSE, SUPPORT and MOTIVATION

Today I decided to write in 'bahasa rojak' i.e. a combination of BM and English for a change or probably to lighten up a heavy topic.

I am currently reading this book called UNSTOPPABLE by Cynthia Kersey (eh..takkan cakap pasal buku lagi??).


Buku ini memaparkan 45 kisah benar perjuangan dan kejayaan hidup manusia just like me and you. Buku ini seolah-olah menyedarkan saya betapa penting untuk kita hidup to the fullest and do something that we enjoy very much. In a study made by Cornell University, senior citizens were asked if they had any regrets in life. And guess what?? The overwhelming response was that they regretted not doing what they had always wanted to do. It is not the risk that they take, but the risk that they do not take, that haunt them for life.

Buku ini banyak menyentuh pasal unstoppable human spirit, manusia yang sanggup buat apa sahaja asalkan objektif hidupnya tercapai (but bukan kearah benda yang tak elok sampai bunuh membunuh tau..). According to the book, an unstoppable person has the following seven characteristics:-
1. Devote themselves to their purpose.
2. Follow their heart's passion.
3. Believe in themselves and their ideas.
4. Prepare for challenges.
5. Ask for help and build support team.
6. Seek creative solutions.
7. Persevere, not matter what the challenges are.

If u can see, the first three on the list talks about purpose, passion and belief. Actually passion and beliefs are the ones that fuels your energy to keeps on going to reach your purpose in life (or senang cerita goal in life lah..).

What's my goal then? It should be something that I am happy and enjoy doing day in and day out. Being there for my kids? Make sure that the house are kept clean, arranged and tidy all the time to keep hubby smiling (my hubby is very particular about time management and cleanliness, I tell you...)? Being able to earn some fair share of salary at the same time? Being able to socialise and meet people?

One solution to that is to become an executive at my own home, surrounded by my children and being there for hubby as he came back from work. Bestnye kan?! Dulu, I always wonder what I want to do in life. Kalau sesetengah orang is very firm on what their ambition is, mine was a very blurry one. I kept on changing my ambition from time to time. Pursue study in accounting ni pun sebab Abah suruh. Since I am very 'flexible' sebab tak tau nak jadi apa, I ikut jelah. Then grad, dapat kerja kat Bank, that's it?! Then after sometime working, I go like, hey is this what I want to do for the rest of my life?

An egroup formed by a well-known business called UKS has introduced me to the idea of working@home. I never thought it is possible to do that so I attended a seminar co-organized by UKS and Famy last Saturday (actually ni second time pergi..first time was last year). It opens up my eyes and inspired me to follow the footsteps of people who shared the same dream job as I am. If others excel, why can't I?

I know they are risks and challenges for you to face if you chose this path, but bukan ke kat mana-mana pun ada risiko? Cuma from what I gather in the seminar is any path you take in life, you have to try to find ways to mitigate it. And once, you are comfortable enough, than go for it. In this case, my concern is of course two things - MONEY and FRIENDS. Kalau kerja ni dapat fixed salary...mengular macamana pun dapat duit at the end of the month (not that I mengular lah, setakat email ngan blog hopping tu adalah..hehe). But kalau work@home by having your own business, you have to work hard to get money. I'm not a spender, so I don't spend much on clothes, make-ups, handbags and shoes. Ashraff punya baju, books and toys pun sekali-sekala. My great concern is the hutang-piutang and insurans. That's why according to the speakers in the seminar, you have to have at least 6 months salary (the best is one year) in your accounts before you can issue a resignation letter. So errrr...I'm not ready in that sense but I am working towards this. Eventhough boleh nak amik VSS, tapi ciput (faktor yang dibagi hanyalah 1.25 sahaja!) so tak cukup nak kumpul 6 months salary. Lunch nanti nak bukak www.envelope.com, nak tengok macamana sistem envelope digunakan.

And then friends. Friends whom you can share stories, jokes, latest gossips, whatever...Kalau dok rumah, you are all alone. Yes, you have your children to attend to but can they really share with you all the latest gossips, parenting tips and what not...Well, this is not so bad as I have UKS e-group to share with. Lots of Work at Home Mothers (WAHM) in the group, which some of them I have met in person. And when u look at the bright side, probability untuk kena menceburkan diri dalam aktiviti mengumpat pun kurang. Kalau kat sini boleh didengar dikiri dan kanan orang mengumpat pasal boss, management, rakan sekerja, si polan bin polan..di rumah, tidak lagi, insyaAllah. Bukankah setiap wang ringgit yang kita perolehi lebih berkat?

I am glad I finally found my dream job at this not-so-young age. Bukan kaya yang saya harapkan, tetapi keberkatan dan kesempurnaan hidup. Sekarang ni hanya perlu bersedia untuk ke arah itu. I need to polish some of my skills especially in PR and marketing. Being the studious accounting student, I am not exposed to those.

But then again, we must remember that kita hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan. Oleh itu, semasa seminar itu, kami dinasihatkan untuk berserah dan bertawakal kepadaNya.

Oh yeah, in the Unstoppable book, it is mentioned that in meeting your goals, you will encounter discouragement from others, even from the ones close to you. Just close your eyes and proceed. Do buy this inspirational book at RM39.90 if you need something to boost your motivation. Lagi senang, log in to www.mph.com.my, search Unstoppable. All the best in reaching your goal in life!

Me and Books.

I am an avid reader. I love books, fictional ones that is. I can't recall on what method my mother chose to teach me to read, but at the age of 5 years old, I can read superbly...and religiously..in Bahasa Melayu only. I found it a bit hard to read in English back then.

I still remember what type of books I read at that time. It is the RM1 classic fairy tales books, translated to Malay like 'Si Tudung Merah', 'Goldilocks dan Serigala' and 'Snow White dan 7 orang kerdil'. Mak will usually bring back home a dozen of books in various titles and I will spend most of my free time reading those books.

Then I move on to Enid Blyton's collection, also in Malay version like Lima Sekawan and Tujuh Sekawan.

I started reading in English quite late as I have trouble absorbing the reading techniques. For me, Malay is easier as it is concentrates more on syllable like B-A, BA..C-A, CA and so on..I can't really recall what is my first English book's collection, but I do remember that I love reading Enid Blyton's books (this time around in English) like Amelia Jane Series, The Faraway Tree collection and whole bunch of simpler English books written by her.

As my English reading improves, I move on to a higher level of English also written by Blyton like the Famous Five, Secret Seven, Malory Towers, Twins at St Clare's. Those boarding school series have made me wanted to go boarding school really bad!

Then, as I entered high school, I started reading Sweet Valley High and Goosebumps series, before I was introduced to books written by Virginia Andrews. Andrew's manuscripts envolved around a teenage girl's life who is entangled in between family deceptions, love and incestuous act. Her first published books is 'Flower in the Attic', which was later being adapted for the big screen. I actually watched the film first before reading the book. But I found the book is way far more interesting that the film itself (isn't that normally the case?).

I kept track of all Andrew's family saga from Doppelanger series to Castell till I reached form four, where I was forced to read Sidney Sheldon's book out of boredom. The first Sheldon's book that I read was The Naked Face, which drove me to love the book and continue reading almost all his publications. Even till todate, I always on the look out of his newly published book, though I found at times, his story becomes more predictable now that I know his style of writing.

While waiting for Sheldon's, I saw a friend of mine reading Whitney, My Love, a book written by Judith McNaught. She then lent me the book and from there on, I love reading Mcnaught's collection.

In between McNaught and Sheldon, I also love to read Malay novels written by Lamia Aimal like Donia, Tiga Wajah and Waja. Her captivating way of adding true facts and figures to romance is what makes me looking forward to her next book.

So, basically, my life has been envolved around books, so that makes reading my utmost interest or hobby. Hubby noticed a similarity among all the novels that I've read, which I would never have realised should he never pointed out. He mentioned "Eh! Why are all the books you read, the main character is always a female?". Emmmm...I wonder why...

After a long break...

Finally, I have regained the energy to write after a long break. As I mentioned before, my Bank is going thru another restructuring and even offered VSS this time around (but of very small quantum, so I'll pass on it).

Me, myself and I maintained in the same room, under the same boss and doing the same work. But two of my fellow KL branchmates, were transferred to Selangor Branch. They were good buddies so I seemed a lil bit sad. However, the good news is two of ex-department mates from Bank Industri i.e. this lady and this guy were transferred here. So, I am thrilled because I missed working with them and having them nearby to share stories and problems. Not that I can't share it with my new collegues here but I am comfortable with them since I know them longer. You know with merger (or takeover for that matter), there is still a virtual divider between the people from the two organizations. And I do not know how long it will take for that 'seperator' to vanish so that we could work as a team. But as at now, the thought of two of my mates are here leaves me motivated to go to work today!

*****************

My cousin, Tina Naeela has just given birth to adorable baby boy by the name AIMARR BIN RAIHAN on 18th February 2006 at good old Assunta Hospital. The name is pretty short, isn't it?! I asked Tina why he decided to give such a short name for his son. She mentioned that she got inspired by looking at Ashraff's single-word name. The shorter the better, she told me. She said she has gone through enough trouble carrying a long name - with UPU forms to fill up, loan form, examination paper etc. Tell me about it. I have a long name too! And that is exactly the reason why we chose a short name for our son, apart from having the priviledge to call him with his full name.

We could not take Aimarr's picture because he was put in an incubator (something to do with lung, the nurse told us) and we were not allowed to see him. Too bad...or else you would get a good view of newborn baby to enlighten your day.

What to Blog On?

"Hey Rafiqah, update your blog!"

Yeah, I heard you loud and clear Izreen.

It's one week since my last entry. I am addicted to blogging, that's for sure. But within the last one week, I'm pretty caught up with work. I have basically no time to blog hopping, what more to spare more time on writing an entry.

I also found life is a bit plain with nothing interesting to blog on. Everyday, my life goes through the same routine. Get up to work and left the house at 7.30 am. Reached the office at 8.15 am with 15 minutes to spare for breakfast before I started my work, which happens to be monotonous as well - prepare disbursement proposal, write some memos, follow-up on payment, some reporting to do - day in and day out.

Left the office at about 6 am, reached home after 30 minutes (on average). Cook, eat dinner and spend quality time with Ashraff until he fell asleep. After Ashraff is fast asleep, I would normally watch TV with hubby but for the past few nights, I've been indulging myself in a newly bought novel by Judith McNaught titled Night Whisperers, before eventually retire to bed.

So, can you find anything interesting for me to blog on here?
Or probably I'm just not in the mood to write..

At first I wanted to write about our trip to Taiping, which I found it to be profoundly interesting. But then, I have not transferred the photos taken to my computer, thus, I could not add up some photos to spice up the story.
But then again, if I do transfer the photo, I do not think I have the energy to write.

Sorry folks, I have somesort of mental block these few days...

Introducing C.M.O.G Kids!

Finally, after going thru lots of scratching head and pulling hair moments, I am proud to introduce CreateMyOwnGift's latest products - PERSONALIZED CHILDREN T-SHIRT!!

This T-Shirt under our own brand, C.M.O.G Kids is made from 100% cotton and anti-bacterial material, which is safe for children. We have three sizes, 1-2 yo, 3-4 yo and 5-6 yo. Do clad you loved ones with a T-Shirt, emblazoned with their own name for just RM25 only. And if u buy 4, you get 1 free. If you buy the T-Shirt + Book, you can get it for the price of RM60 only (usual price is RM64.90).

So, the next time around you got invited to a birthday party, you will know where and how to find a unique and original gift-:) Gift-wrapping service is available too...

Check out the photos of our personalized T-Shirts...




This one has not been personalized yet. The personalization will be in pink.

Bukan selalu nak tulis blog berbentuk iklan...

Career Makeover

My Bank is in another round of restructuring after the merging process. And I am still waiting for The Letter to inform me whether I will have to change department, or stay where I am now. I would prefer staying here, with a not-to-busy schedule (as compared to doing loan evaluation), a nice boss who treat us free pizza every month...and a lovely room of my own.

With all these merging, restructuring and what not, I think I need to make a move elsewhere. Not that I have a high resistance to change, but all I need is to have at least a lil bit of comfort, assurance and predictability in my working life. I also have the urge of moving out from the banking industry coz I do not think I am passionate enough to work in this hot boiling sector. And without passion, your motivation will reach zero level in no time at all. So before it reaches that stage, I better start thinking of a way out.

This is where I decided to take this career makeover test.

And to my suprise, here is my result:-

Rafiqah Eliza, you're a Teacher!

You're the sort of person that people think of fondly, when remembering who helped make a difference in their lives. Your stellar interpersonal skills and compassionate ear for the troubles and life experiences of others makes you a godsend when the going gets tough. And since you're especially smooth at managing responsibility, your listening skills and wisdom are their sharpest when you're in a position of authority. Consider yourself the soul doctor to the world—it's your true work personality.

Who's like you:
Florence Nightingale

Likely careers:
Nurse, pediatrician, veterinarian, party planner, teacher, professor.

A TEACHER???? Nurse? pediatrician? veterinarian?
Do I click on the wrong button when answering the questions?
Or am I not that honest in answering them?

I do not view myself as a soft-hearted or patient kind of person. Thus, the result is what I least expected of!

On the other hand, would an educator be a nice choice of work for a change? Sharing knowledge is a holy thing to do. And lecturer usually have more flexible working time. Perhaps I should give it a try...A child educator, perhaps?!

A Tribute to the Readers.

BLOG..is a boon to all writers - experts or amatuers. I see blog as a diary, where we can freely express our thoughts and emotions. I see blog as a type of drug, which you can easily get addicted to it in a few months time. I see blog as a place to 'jejak kasih' as I met two of my long-lost friends while blogging. I also see blog as a place for us to make friends, as half of the people in my Friend's list is a total stranger to me before I am into blogging (and most of them are just my virtual friends..bila lah nak jumpa ye?).

But to top it all of, I see blog as a form of communication. Most of us here are too busy with our lives. We haven't got the time to contact our friends either via email or phone. So, the only way for us to keep up todate with what's happening in our friends' life is by reading their blog.
This is the prime reason why I gave my Blog's URL to them (apart from getting some comments *wink*), eventhough some of them are totally clueless about blogging (or Internet, for that matter).

Despite doing so, I always thought that the only clan who will take some time off from their busy schedule to read my blog, are people who blog themselves.

But I am wrong! Some of the people that I gave my URL to, which I thought they wouldn't care less to have a peep at my blog, actually visited and read my blog..regularly! It just clicked my mind when somebody, whom I haven't told them a particular occassion or issue, came up to me and made a statement or asked me questions like:-
Dah ok dah kereta you?; or
U dah officially pindah rumah ye?; or
Ni lah budak yang tak nak makan ni...; or
Ingat apa kata Premila...(This is Hubby warning me when he saw me trying to add some rice in my plate..

My natural reaction will be "Do you read my blog?"...

So, to all my fellow blog readers (including the hidden ones like Kak Z, Uncle Raymie, Nissa and Hubby), thank you so much for taking your time off to visit and read my entries.

My Hugs and Kisses to all of you...Muah!

CreateMyOwn ANNIVERSARY Gift.

Do u like my blog's new look?

Hei, do you remember how panic I am two weeks ago as I do not know what gift to give my dearest hubby for our anniversary?

Finally, due to limited budget, I've decided to spare some time to make my own gift. Hubby said this is a bit intimate to blog on, but I feel like sharing because it might be useful if you ended up in a feel-like-giving-but-not-much-money-to-spend-on situation.
Note to hubby: I will keep this as general as possible, okay?!

This year, I gave him 'A Box of Feelings'. For every emotions I felt for him, I tried to express it in a physical form. I attached the items to pieces of thick paper (which u can get from any stationery store) then wrote on it what that item represented.

The things I put in there:-
Match for "the fire he lights in me".
Heart patch for "how much I love him".
A band-aid for "all the wounds he have helped heal".
Smiley face for "all the fun we had together"
Sweets for "how sweet you are".

Then I put all the items in nice box (you can get them at any gift store or if you want a good quality ones, visit D'Nata of KLCC), and attached a self-made card that comes with a self-written poem..Then, use your creativity to decorate the box.

My husband was so happy to receive the gift I gave him. And I am grinning with satisfaction coz it is really worth the effort!!

Note to hubby again: I do not disclose everything right? At least not the self-written poem and there's no photo too.

3 years have passed...

There is this girl...
Born in Kuala Lumpur. Live in a city full of lights, in a house made from brick. Her father was a manager of the Bank, while mother was an administrative assistant in a government body. Was chauffeured to and fro to school by her mother/father. Back from school, lunch was ready on the table. Spent the rest of the evening either reading or watching TV.

Then, there is this boy...
Born in Johor Bharu and raised in Pontian. Live the ordinary live of a kampung boy. His father was what people said as 'kerja kampung' where he run his own pineapple orchard, while his mother is an attendant in Pontian's General Hospital. He either walked or rode his bicycle to school. As he reached home from school, he has to cook his rice as his mother only left the lauk-pauk for lunch. His evening was filled up with lots of physical activity, like mandi parit and playing Malay traditional games like konda-kondi and main tutup botol.

The girl is known as Rafiqah Eliza Elias.
And the boy, Mohd Fitri M Yatim.

Yes, both me and hubby have different upbringing. Though we were both born in 1977 and gone through the same schooling system set by the government, our lifestyles are totally the opposite.

With Allah's will, we ended up in the same college, but we never talked to each other. I knew people in the college called him as Mat Pet (like a drug addict?). Later, we, together with another two girls (Nissa & Sheila) and two boys (Atan and Radzi), were selected by Mara to continue our studies in Melbourne, Australia. From then on, just like the other two boys, he became my friend, JUST FRIEND. Someone whom I'll share my crazy jokes, my sorrow, my problems, my admirers (hehehe) and how I hate being hunted by some men (cam bagus je kan?) and some of my inner secrets. He will do the same as well. He'll tell me (or Sheila or Nissa) should he encountered problem with girls (like someone he has a crush on, or admire dearly). I remembered how he asked me to tumpang the puding jagung made by Sheila in my fridge. The puding jagung is to be given to another girl (not our batch) whom I reckon he liked to be with (but he told me that girl admired him..whateverrr...it's not important now).

On the other hand, he has accompanied his male friend, who wanted to get to know me, went out for a date. So, he became somesort of like a middle-person between me and that guy during the date, which he hated so much.

My hubby is not a soft-spoken, gentleman kind of person. He is a rather frank person, which some girls would not favour. He treated his girlfriends like me, Nissa and Sheila as if we are one of his boyfriends. He'll be the least favoured guy if you want to seek for help. He'll go like "Eh! Buat sendirilah. Aku malas nak layan."

There is this one time, he and I were discussing about marriage. His opinion at that time was "Aku taknak kawin ngan pompuan overseas grad. Bukan boleh percaya sangat." My response was "Kau ingat aku percaya sangat ke budak2 lelaki overseas ni!." Yeah, we refer to each other as kau and aku.

To cut the story short, we graduated and he got a job in KL, despite him not wanting to work in KL. Since the two other girlfriends, Nissa and Sheila have choosen their life partner at that time, and most of hubby's guyfriends have not graduated (we graduated one year earlier than our Malaysian-grad friends), we ended up going out with each other. So, only then 'things' happen between us, to the suprise of Nissa, Sheila, Radzi and Atan.

We have to change from 'kau' and 'aku' to 'I' and 'you'...and from 'Mat Pet' to 'Fitri'. How we struggle to make that changes!! Yelah dah tiga tahun dok cakap 'aku', 'kau' and 'Mat Pet'. And not only that. It's not easy to change from being JUST FRIEND to MORE THAN FRIENDS. Coz before we were like boy-to-boy friends, boleh selamba kutuk each other with no hard feelings, now we have to make some adjustments. It's definitely not an easy step!

After one year of some serious relationship, we were finally engaged on 5th January 2002. And one year later, on 17th January 2003, we had our nikah ceremony in a simple yet resplendent affair.

Now, 3 years have passed.

We were grateful that Allah is on our side. We are blessed with a charming little boy by the name of 'Ashraff'. We have both been promoted at work. We have moved to our own house. Our relationship, alhamdulillah, has becoming stronger with each passing days of our lives.

My prayer will be for Allah to continue his blessing on this family. Murahkan rezeki kami, tetapkan iman kami, panjangkan umur kami. Lindungi kami daripada fitnah and malapetaka...dan semoga berkekalan sehingga ke akhir hayat...

HAPPY 3RD YEAR ANNIVERSARY, DEAR! I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH..."

The long Friday lunch break.

Every Friday, we were given extra time for lunch, from 12.30pm to 2.45 pm. I'd normally go to KLCC, Berjaya Times Square, Bintang Walk, Sogo, or spend time relaxing at the office.

But last Friday, I went to Weight Management Information Center (WMIC) at Wisma Selangor Dredging (near KLCC) to get a Free Counselling from a dietician and do some body fat analysis (you have to pay minimal sum of RM5 for the analysis). WMIC is a non-profit organization of health professional who have special interest in prevention and treatment of obesity. You have to set an appointment if you want ti meet the professionals. Fo further info, you can read here.

There, I met Ms Premila, a nice Indian dietician. The process started of with asking you your objective and some health history background. Oh yeah, prior to going to WMIC, you have to jot down things u eat 3 days before the appointment, which in my case including the things I consumed during Hari Raya Haji. Yikes!

Then you step on the body fat analyzer. It is just like a normal weighing scale but with a metal foot pad. Here is the findings:-

Height : 159 cm (I thought I'm only 158 cm tall)
Weight : Shy to disclose but what the heck..54.8 kg
BMI : 21.7
Body Fat% : 29.5

My BMI is within the normal range (phewww..). BUT, my body fat composition is beyond the normal by 4 kilos! Meaning which, despite an average BMI, I have lots of fats restored by body, which could lead to high cholestrol. Now I understand the idea of why thin people can still suffer from high cholestrol.

Premila then showed me a replica of fats. It is about the size of two full bowls,and that according to her is what 2 kilos of fat looks like. So mine is double that, which means 4 full bowls?? That's a lot!! And scary too!

Here is some advice given by Premila to shed some fats:-
1. Rice (or any carbo like bread, potatoes) should only be a quarter of the plate, chicken/beef/fish (protein) should be quarter also. The balance of half plate should be filled with vegetables, preferably steamed, raw or boiled. Since I do not quite like eating veggies, this will be my biggest hurdle, apart from reducing my rice intake.

2. Reduction of weight is not a perfect indication of reduction of fats. This is because muscle is heavier than fat. Thus, if you build muscles by exercising, your weight will either maintain or probably slightly increase. So, how do we know we have shed some fats? If u build your muscles, you can feel that your clothes becoming looser, meaning that you have toned your body.

3. Muesli Bar is not the best option for a healthy breakfast as these bars is usually coated with sugar or honey. The best is to take cooking oat, mixed with low fat milk.

4. Slimming tea (or any slimming products for that matter), is not the best way for you to slim down as it shed water from your body, and less fats. So, it is easier for your body to gain weight should you stop consuming these products.

5. Exercise 60-90 minutes a day, for 3-4 days a week. The cardio activity like treadmill and bicycle will help to burn some fats, while muscular is for building up the muscle and toning your body.

Not bad for a free counselling section right?!

As for my case, I have to comeback in one month time for to do the body analysis again. Hope by that time, my fat composition has reduced or else, malu!!

All about Ashraff

Babycenter.com stated that a 17-month old toddler can do amongst which, the following:-

Climbing. Your 17-month-old demands that you let her walk up stairs, rather than be carried. She also wants to try climbing up onto chairs — and other pieces of furniture that are about chest height — and, once she gets up, is able to turn herself around and sit facing forward, a complex feat.


At Atok's place...





Another one...At our place...


Ashraff is definitely on the right track!

Apart from climbing, Ashraff is fond of...errr..Rides? Easy Rides? Gentle Rides? A Device? Hey, what's the name of the thing that basically most shopping complexes have where you put coins in it, and it starts moving with loud music on? When I was small, I called it 'dak-duk' (just like the sounds of galloping horses). Yeah, that is Ashraff's latest interest...


And he even got a 'girlfriend' to join him for the ride...


Note : That 'girlfriend' was a complete stranger to Ashraff/us. She is 2 months younger than Ashraff and came rushing to us when she saw the ride. I said she was attracted to the ride but Hubby said she's attracted to Ashraff coz Ashraff is a 'chick magnet'. Oh, whateverrr...

Press the panic button!

What a topic to start for year 2006!! Can't help it coz I am in a panic mode now. Reasons being:-

(i) My mother-in-law is here! She and my sis-in-law are spending the whole week at our crib. I'm glad but...What to cook? What to cook?

(ii) Two weeks to go before our 3rd Anniversary. What to buy for dearest Hubby? It's only 3 years and I've run out of ideas. Help!!

Releasing the anger within.

Our 4-month-old Innova was knocked by Vios yesterday at Jln Tun Razak! The lady driver apologised for her mistake as she was looking elsewhere (probably SMSiNg) and did not notice that our car has slowed down and stopped. Idiot! And I am glad that it was a bumper-to-bumper crawl so it was a soft knock. But that does not mean that our car was left unscar. Eventhough it is slightly dented, but the thought that the car is considered very new (only 4 months old) makes us all very dissapointed that it happens!

But the impact has hit hubby the most. He has gone ballistic over the whole incident! He has lost his appetite yesterday eventhough I served him his favourite asam pedas (courtesy of mak, thank you). Our topic yesterday lingered on these subject ONLY - how the accident happened, that lady driver, the repair, the police report..I tried to divert his attention to the issue by coming out with new topics, but it is back to square one after few minutes. Even Ashraff's first-time calling him Ayah does not excite him!

Can't blame him for that as he has been taking care of that precious gem like his own baby. But u see, some things are beyond our control. Just like our case. Kalau nak kena, kena jugak.... What to do...

Now we have to drive that dented MPV back to Pontian tomorrow..Gee..

P.S: Will post a picture later, folks!

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What is your opinion when I say most Malaysians are last minute people? Give me a break, I am Malaysian too. But if you notice, Malaysian will wait till the eleventh hour to settle its bills, pay their taxes..and now the MyKad thing..

If you happened to watch the news, you will see some of the standard feedbacks given by these proscrastinators when they were interviewed:-

(i)"Dulu, takde masa.." - so now you have all the time in the world to wait for almost the whole day waiting for just a piece of plastic card to be issued?! And sometimes more because you might not have a luck to obtain an angka giliran the first time you went (ni case my sisterlah, sampai 4 kali pergi baru dapat nombor).

(ii)"JPN sepatutnya buka lebih banyak kaunter dan memperbanyakkan angka giliran." Hellloooo...look who's talking...

Sorry if this offended anyone here, but sometimes we have to put the blame on ourselves rather than pointing fingers to other. And now JPN staffs have to burn the midnight oil just to clear all last minute MyKad applications. Poor thing!

I'm glad I did my MyKad way back in 2002. Yup dear, it's 3 years ago! Well, I'm not a super-duper obedient citizen but I was forced to do it. Why? Because my purse was stolen while I was praying at Sogo's surau! A blessing in disguise indeed. Or else, I might be the one who is currently waiting in a long queue at JPN...

P.S : Have you apply for your MyKad? It's two days to go!

****************

Mak called me at my office this morning. We had a long chit-chat over the phone. Something which I never thought I would do with her. It was nice to hear her voice. Yeah, I miss her..and Abah too..
She told me that she wanted to go to our house today as Abah is missing Ashraff badly (Mak went to our house yesterday while I was at work to send asam pedas but Abah can't make it). And she asked us to drop by at her house today to pick up Ashraff and Bibik and have dinner together..Well, how can I say NO..

P.S: Izreen, you tagged me hah? Sorry babe, I overlooked. Next entry ok?!

*****************

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
MAY YOU HAVE A GOOD YEAR AHEAD!
From,
Rafiqah & Co.

From Landed Property to High-Rise Building..

Alhamdulillah. We have officially moved to our own home. Although there is still lot of decorations to make as the walls are pretty bare, but we are glad to call it OUR HOME.

It took us two days to carry our stuffs, which mainly consists of our clothings back and forth from Ampang to Cheras. I left some of my clothes which I hardly wear because I believe that there won't be enough space for me to put them in our now smaller room. I did make a correct decision! We used to have a walk-in cabinet and a stand-alone cupboard at my parent's and now we have to deal with just three doors of built-in cabinet with few drawers, and we have to share it with our lil Ashraff! We would not want to carry Ashraff's own cabinet as there is no possible way for us to position that thing in our room.

And another thing, we could not bring Ashraff's favourite cot along too. We were thinking of co-sharing the bed with him (a good idea?) but our bed is queen size and not king size like what we used to have, so three is a crowd on the bed. So now my lil lad has to settle himself comfortably sleeping on the floor. Poor thing! I called it 'Rumah Setinggan'..hehehe..
Since he is not used to the new environment and I'm pretty much afraid he'll roll-over and swept the whole room, both of us ended up restless during our first few nights there. Gee..

Then finally, on Sunday night, everything is nicely transferred and arranged. As I take the final look before I stepped out from my previous room, there is this weariness feeling inside me. The room which I have been occupying for the past 15 years of my life is now empty. It is even sadder to look at Abah's face when we handed over their house key. Mak decided to go back to Johor Bharu for no specific reason but Atok Lon (my aunty who is living with me) told me that Mak would not want to see us leave. I am not trying to be extra-melancholic here (as Ampang and Cheras are not that far anyway), but it was indeed a sad moment for me...

Then starting Monday, we have comfortably settling in. I started to cook for lunch (make it extra so I don't have to cook for dinner). We had a jolly good time bringing Ashraff for a swim. I wanted to put on my swimming attire and join the fun, but it is bright sunny evening and I am getting a bit too self-concious with my bulging tummy, so I decided to do it at night. Not that night, some other night. Probably tonight.

Then we have this gymnasium which I so look forward to have my regular exercise. But I need someone to actually do some physical check-up and advise me on the right machine to use. Perhaps I can try to have a peek at the Equilibrium Gym that is situated at Maju Junction.

Oh yeah, tonite, our community will have somesort of AGM meeting to pick the new committee for the people at Mentari Kondominium. For the first time, we would be able to make it, insyaAllah. I am so looking forward to get to know our neighbours.

I have to say that I am slowly adapting to the change in environment. There is still teeny weeny sorrow in me to be leaving my parent whom I know are badly missing their grandson at this very moment, I know I have to accept this. And hope Mak and Abah will be able to adjust with their new life without me, Fitri and Ashraff.

One thing that I know will take me a very looongggg time to accept is what used to be 20 mins journey back home from the office is now taking a whole 1 hour of our precious time! Cheras, Cheras, you definitely need elevated highway like we had in Ampang...

Entering a new life..

Finally, we are moving in to our OWN home sweet home in Cheras. Dearest Hubby decided that once and for all, without further delay, this long holiday will be used to transfer all our things from mak & abah's house in Bukit Antarabangsa, Ampang to our condominium in Bandar Tasik Permaisuri, Cheras, which has been completed in early 2003.

For the past 6 months, we have been going back and forth from my parent's house to our house. Weekdays in Ampang, and weekends in Cheras. I found it a bit too taxing for us to maintain two houses, with half of our things here and half there. There will be times when I searched high and low for my long skirt or pants, and eventually realised that I left it at our house in Cheras. Darn..

Soon, insyaAllah, gone are the days where we have to switch from one place to the other. Along it will be the days where our dinner is ready everytime we get back from work. Hubby has insisted me to cook for dinner every night regardless of how late we get back from work. So now, I would have to learn to become a master of the kitchen, something which I don't quite like doing but I know responsibility is a responsibility. And a wife gotta do what the husband wants her to do..So I am fine with that.

But one thing that touches my heart is my mak and abah's reaction towards us moving out from the house. This is partly the reason why we have been postponing our plan for such a looonngggg time. Mind you, it's 2 1/2 years of delay! Everytime when we brought up this issue, mak will either keep quiet throughout the dinner or abah will make the remark "pindah-pindah abah tak nak dengar." So, we were torn between our plan and mak & abah's feeling. And we still are..

And now with Ashraff around, it makes things harder. For example, last night, while watching the TV with mak & abah, Ashraff as usual will dance and jumping around the living hall, with his usual shriek of excitement. Abah then said "Tak lama lagi senyaplah rumah kita ye Adah (gelaran abah untuk mak)." And mak will give her usual gloomy look...Haiyaa..

Despite that, I WANT us to move. I insisted we move. I had a slow woman-to-woman talk with mak one night. I told her my attention to move is the only way for me to become a real wife to Fitri (not that I am not real, but at least it's time for me to take charge of the household). Apart from that, I pity my hubby. Staying with my parent, has one way or another hinders his side of family to come and lepaking with us at our house since it is not our OWN house. Not that my husband complained but I can sense it (macam bagus je..)

And then I said something which is rather adverse, but somehow makes sense to my mother. I told her, it is the evolution of life. We must put at the back of our mind that all our children will leave us one day to go on with their lives. She left my tok mak as soon as she married my father years ago. And now it is time for me to go on with my life. And soon there will come a time where Ashraff will move away from me. But moving to a new house, does not mean that we are moving away for good. We will still come back here once in a while (or probably every weekend). Cheras and Ampang are not that far anyway.

With this, she had not made a single comment when I finally put a strong footing saying I am moving to Cheras this Christmas holiday. And suprisingly, Abah too. She must have told Abah about our rationale to move in one of their husband-and-wife talks at night..hehehe..

So here we are, finally, packing our stuffs to our own adobe (quoting Mrs Corporate Tai-Tai) and entering a new life...Semoga Allah merahmati perjalanan hidup kami ini..

Just in case you are wondering now, which i am sure you are, insyaAllah there will be a house-warming makan-makan at our house. Will keep u posted on this one.

Oh by the way, despite our busyness to move this weekend, we, I mean CMOG will be opening a stall at Sunday Flea Market @ Kelab Ukay, Bukit Antarabangsa from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. So if you happen to be somewhere in this area, please drop by...

It's a good start.

Yesterday, I managed to control my appetite and took less food. Here's what I had yesterday:-

Breakfast
A bar of muesli and a mug of milo (less sugar, add my fav soy protein powder).

Lunch
A quarter plate of rice only (usually it will be a full plate) and spent most of the times, gatah lauk sahaja. It was pretty hard for me not to eat rice with lauk, but I managed to resist my food temptations. Yey!

Dinner
A quarter plate of rice plus the normal lauk-pauk. Double yey!

I planned to reduce my calorie intake gradually instead of indulging in self-stalvation method. So from a full plate of rice (sometimes double plate) to a quarter plate is a good start for me. Am so proud of myself!

Now I am into studying the food pyramid to ensure that I have a well-balanced diet. I do not want to end-up like a collegue of mine who fainted right in the middle of the office, as she is too obsessed with losing weight and chose crash diet method. Ouch!

Let me see whether my effort yield any return at the end of the day. Perhaps next Friday is a good day for me to jump on the weighing scale. Do remind me, yeah buddy..

As for Ashraff, he is still carrying the motto "Say 'NO' to FOOD!". Guess it is a good time for me to join his campaign..

"Ibu, No!".."Ashraff, please..."

The sign above signifies Ashraff's motto for the past three days. He is back in his no-mood-to-eat mood, leaving his mother totally devastated! I am so sick worried of his weight, that is for certain. After the drop of 1 kilo due to the Mouth Disease he had earlier, he never actually regain his weight. He is still at 10kg++, which is considered low for toddler his age and for a baby who was born at 3.74kg!

One thing that somesort of ease my mind is that he drinks lots of milk as compared to before. All these while, he has been depending on small bottle (the 4oz bottle) for each milk time. Lately, his consumption has shoot up to 6-7 oz (at one time 9oz) per session. So, I guess he must have substitute the solid with milk. But any mother will freak out to the fact that their child would not have sufficient nutrition from depending on milk ONLY.

It is also pretty hard for me to deal with picky eater like Ashraff, whom will only eat from the ready packed food like Nestle or Gerber. He will puke whenever he takes the home-cooked meal, no matter how we vary the ingredients. After sometime, we sort of acknowledge the fact that cooking for him is just a waste of time (and gas).

Then, a friend of mine told me that maybe he wants to eat like any adults would, coz now he has lots of teeth. And I thought that maybe he is bored of eating the normal Nestle or Gerber products that we gave him - gandum campur soya, gandum campur madu, mixed fruits, beras & ayam etc, as he has been consuming that for the past one year. Perhaps I should try something with a more substance in it.

Here is a recipe that I got from a friend (thanks Ivy!) that I would love to try:-

"You can try making your own chicken nuggets. Blitz some chicken breast (no skin of course) in the food processor, campur with fresh bread crumbs sikit (one piece fresh bread, blitz in the food processor), add an egg yolk, some herbs if you like, a tiny pinch of salt - or not and mix. Then dunk it in egg and breadcrumbs and saute with olive oil"

Sounds yummylicious, aye?!.

I hope my effort to make Ashraff eat is pay-off this time around. Or else, it will be another round of waste-time-and-waste-gas.

Sometimes I wonder, apart from the joy of having children, parenting job also comes with a bag of worries. For the past 16 months, there have been countless time I have to deal with anxiety attack. I told my mother that probably if Ashraff can talk and voice out his feelings, I will stop worrying. My mother's reply was "Tak jugak. Kita hanya akan stop fikir dan risau pasal anak-anak hanya apabila kita dah mati." Guess I have to agree with her...

As for now, Ashraff deary, please eat...

How to back-up?

Today is a peaceful day for me. Hardly any client calling in, asking what is their balance outstanding, or pouring their problems in meeting their loan obligations. Can be because of the holiday for the State of Selangor...

I do not have much to do either. I have finished doing the disbursement proposal, have submitted the follow-up report and fulfilling client's request for 1001 things (selagi boleh they will request). If I'm motivated enough, probably I can start doing some of the 'forecasted' work like loan foreclosure for some bad loans, but I chosed not too.

Instead, I spent my precious free time, going through my archives, reading all my rants and rambles in the past. Some are funny, some are pretty sad, some are what-the-heck-are-u-thinking-at-that-time..

Having done so, it dawned to me that I do not do any back-up for my precious entries. How do I do back up yeah? Any advise for an IT idiot like me? Thanks!

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Just got an email from my collegue. It's my boss invitation for free pizza. He treats us every month. I missed the last one as I was on 'puasa enam', and it's a big dugaan at that time since I've been longing to have one. Now this is the time for me to whallop some of the best pizzas in town by the name of Free Pizza!
There goes my diet...

Shed them off!!

One day at the surau..

"Rafiqah, just want to ask you something. There's this rumour going around saying that you are pregnant. Betul ke?"

My immediate response was..

"Gemuk sangat ke saya ni?"

Why am I not suprise? It is because that was not the first comment I got regarding my weight lately. Some of the comments I received were:-

"Eh, eh, dah gemuklah you sekarang" - a straightforward one.
"Eh, lama tak jumpa dah berisi sikit ye. Dulu kurus je" - this one is trying to cover line by using words like "berisi", "naik badan" etc.
"Gemuklah kau sejak kawin. Mendadak pulak tu naik!" - this one really 'dropped my water face'. Remark given by a man, in a lift full of other men. Geee!!
"Dah 'berisi' ke?" - asking whether I'm pregnant, which is definitely due to the weight.
"Cantiklah awak sejak dah ada anak ni. Berseri-seri. Kalau dulu muka cengkung, badan pun kurus semacam" - This one I like best! *grinning like kerang busuk*

Yes, I have to admit (eventhough still in a denial stage) that my weight has increased a lot..yes, A LOT after I stopped breastfeeding Ashraff. Previously, my weight was..emmm..let me see, the most was 45 kilos. And I've had a hard time maintaining that weight, as I'm scared I will become thinner and look like cicak kubing. It becomes worsen after the fasting month or after recovering from illnesses like severe coughing (which drains out your energy) or diarrhea. Muka cengkung semacam!

Whenever I look at fashion & beauty magazine, all they talk about is weight loss but seldom touches on how to gain some weight. Do you know the Appeton Weight Gain available at all major pharmacies? I always had the urge to consume those, but my close friend stopped me from doing that as she said it may cause your weight to keep on increasing (something which she learns from other people's experience). I remembered what she told me..

"You kahwin dulu, dapat anak, then tengok whether you still kurus lagi ke tak?"

And my stubborn answer was..

"Tak mungkin! My parent jenis yang kurus and I doubt I can increase any weight"

Yeah right! Look what I've become now!

Now my weight is fifty..errr..ahh! I better not disclosed. But to give you the hint, it is towards the end of '50' scale. Isn't that scary??

If before I try to avoid jumping on the weighing scale because I'm scared that the pointer will move further left from the previous one, now I am scared of the opposite. I do not know what actually happened. My eating habit is just like before. My suspect would be because of a decrease in metabolism rate, probably due to age factor. What am I suppose to do now?

Basically to shed some fats you have to do the following:-
(i) To control calories intake. Have a healthy diet!
(ii) To exercise regularly.

Let me see whether I can do these things:-
(i) Healthy Diet - Currently, I am actively searching the net for the right food to eat. I would not want to skip meals as I don't think my minor gastric problem can tolerate that. Anyone willing to share me some diet menu and tip?

My biggest hurdle would be my high food temptation! You see, I am so used to eating whenever or whatever I want to eat without worrying about my weight. So, it is really hard for me to control my desire to consume favourite foods like fried chicken, nasi beriyani. That's a No-No right?

(ii) Exercise. Yes, but not regularly. I just could not find way to discipline myself when it comes to exercising. I feel like enrolling to any good fitness club where they have this trainer who can give your professional advice. But then, my financial will go haywire and I don't think dearest Hubby will allow that. Then again, would I have the discipline to drag my feet to the fitness club every now and then?

Yeah, I'm still thinking of ways for me to exercise..and discipline myself to exercise.

Don't you think the slimming centres ads in the media is very attractive for someone who has weight problem? For me, yes it is! Especially the one with celebrities like Amy Mastura - losing from xx kilos to xx kilos. Do you think those places are effective?

Guess it is a bit too early for New Year's resolution but I do have few things in mind. One, is definitely to lose some weight. I would not want to look as thin as before but just to reach an ideal weight that I am comfortable with. But what if I am pregnant next year? That will be a different story altogether..

Good luck to me! Any tips and advice are most welcome.

A miserable two-week..

Not only people who are getting married next week is busy (referring to Fina), but married people with children too (referring to Yours Truly)..

The past two weeks was an exhaustive 14 days of my life. Work is the normal reason. But, beyond that is Ashraff. The first week, Ashraff was attacked by a disease called Balanitis, an inflamation and redness at his "bird" caused by bacteria/virus. At first, we thought it is just the normal nappy rash. But looking at Ashraff who screamed his heart out in what used to be an enjoyable bathing time, made us bring him to the paeditrician. According to paed, not all boys can get easily affected at that place but Ashraff is the type that is vulnerable to it. And by right, boys like Ashraff has to be circumcised at an early age (under 6 mo), where the procedure can be done under local anaesthetic (lesser side affects as compared to general anaesthetic). Since Ashraff has passed that age, paed advised that he has to wait till the right age (the earliest is 5 yo) to get a normal adult circumcision, with again under local anaesthetic. Within that period, Ashraff might suffer from Balanitis for maybe another 2-3 times.

Oh! How I wish we have circumsise him the moment he was born. We have thought of that before but the cost to do it at the place where he was born was beyond our budget so we decided to find somewhere cheaper. But Ashraff's fussy and colicky behaviour has taken its toll, so we had to put our plan on hold. And I presumed you know what happens to the plan, yeah..Proscrastination kills! So, if any of you has given birth to a baby boy, do get an early circumsicion for him!

Right after he has recovered from Balanitis, Ashraff was attacked by another disease..A Mouth Disease (doctor has forgotten to give us the scientific name for it, if any). At first, I thought Ashraff was teething as he showed the same sign like drooling, loss of appetite and restless nights.

Then he had a slight fever, so as usual, Ibu took an emergency leave in the morning. During the day, I observed his temperature and just gave him the normal standby medicine in the fridge. But, when I saw his gum was exceptionally red and swollen, I rushed to the paeditrician for a check-up. It turned out to be that all Ashraff's gum, tongue and lelangit was full of white spots i.e ulcers caused by bacteria/virus and he was put on antibiotic again. Poor baby!! How he hates taking medicine!

So, the next few days was a dreadful event for the whole family as we seldom hear Ashraff's laughter and blabbering. Only crying and wailing, out of pain and hunger. Our nights was even worse as Ashraff woke up every half and hour, screaming(you should see a pair of panda eyes I have now...a sign of a caring Ibu. Cehh!). It is sad to see how he kept pointing to his milk and food, and yet when we tried to give it to him, he pushed it away, crying.

Yesterday, Ashraff has shown a sign of recovery as he started taking plain rice (but not his normal cereal and porridge) and drink some milk. And he also had a sleep-thru night yesterday, perhaps trying to recover some sleep after the interrupted sleeps he had few nights before.

During the two-week crash course, I learned these lessons:-
(i) No matter how tired we are, do not complain as it is never as tiring as taking care of a sick child (sekarang ni tgh insaflah..esok2 lupa lagi..hehehe).
(ii) Hygiene is very important in taking care of a child. It is not that we do not know or practice this, but the two diseases occured recently involved virus, so there must be something lacking. So now, I'm like a freak..sikit-sikit sterilise. Sikit lagi nak jadi macam Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets.

But all in all, with the recovery of both disease, it is a sign of relief for both Ibu and Ayah..which leaves me with something to blog on..hehehe..

How's Raya?

How's Raya? A near-to-compulsory question the moment you return to work after Raya holiday.

I have to say that our Raya is great, alhamdulillah. Though I could not sleep over at Tok Mak's house during Raya Eve, just like planned (aunties and uncles decided last minute to go back to JB, bringing my cousins along), Hubby is kind enough to drive all the way to JB from Pontian that night so that I could spent the meaningful night with my parent. And came back to Pontian late in the night. Thanks dear!

Ashraff was cooperative with us throughout the whole period, including visiting about more than 10 houses in a day at Muar. He captures everyone attention with his jovial character and his blabbering in "German" language. Thank God he has lost his stranger anxiety and can get along with just about anybody (except for my Uncle Raymie who scared him to death).

One thing I found out during Raya is Ashraff likes to socialize with children that is at least 2-3 years older than him. And is more attracted to cute lil lass..hmmmmm...

I guess by mixing and socializing, Ashraff learns lots of new skills during Raya. He knows how to say "Bye Bye" with action, "Kuk, kuk, kuk" - imitating the sound of rooster (and continue to do this while searching for one in KL..feeling all frustrated when he could not find one..) and pointing his fingers to place he wants to go or things that he want.

All in all, just like every Raya, it feels good to be able to meet with relatives that we only met once a year (that is during Raya). One thing that saddens me is that they are lesser house to visit in Muar (we used to visit more than 10 houses) as some have passed away for the last one year. During the year, mak's pak long and pak uda have passed away. Tok Lon's mother has also passed away. Those were a must-visit house in Muar the previous year. I guess that is life..

Unlike Muar, Pontian and JB, in KL is all about visiting the second generation - mak and abah's cousin, me and hubby's cousin and also friends. So, most of our nights during weekdays and the whole weekend are spent visiting or entertaining guest.

Oh yeah, friends, do come to our house in either Bukit Antarabangsa and Cheras. But do buzz us first to make us stand-by for your visit. We PLAN to do open house but it is still in planning and Raya is almost over, so I guess we won't be having any this year..Maybe next year..

Hari Raya datang lagi!

This is our Agenda for this year's Raya:-
Malam Raya and Pagi Raya - Rabu and Khamis
After two years of Raya as married couple, this is the first time I'm going to spend Raya eve and Raya morning with my own Mak and Abah at Tok Mak's house in Johor Bharu. Reason being, Tok Mak's house is emptier this year as most of my aunties and cousins will only be arriving petang Raya.
So, this year will only be shooting for Pontian after sembahyang raya. Spent the rest of the day there visiting mother-in-law's side of family.

Second Raya - Jumaat
Back to JB. Usually my Aunty Teh has her open house this day. Spent the day visiting my mother's side of family.

Third and Fourth Raya - Sabtu and Ahad
To Muar, visiting my father's side of family and some mother's (Mak and Abah are saudara after all, so sedara Mak is sedara Abah and vice versa). This is the best, yet the most tiring part of Raya. We visited around 10 houses per day. Hope Ashraff can tolerate that..

Fifth Raya - Isnin
To Felda area in Kulai, visiting my late father-in-law's side of family. It's not Felda Taib Andak, mind you..or else, we might be bumping into Mawi..Then, we will head off to Pasir Gudang, again FIL's family.

Sixth Raya - Selasa
Planned to go to Singapore to visit again FIL's side of family, but Ashraff does not have a passport yet. So, probably we will spend the day resting in Pontian.

Seventh Raya - Rabu
Heading of to KL...will be back to work on Thursday..

To all, Selamat Hari Raya AidilFitri..And Maaf Zahir Batin. To those yang balik kampung tu, do drive carefully..Till we meet again in this blog after Raya..
Daripada,
Rafiqah, Fitri and Ashraff

Pursuing study?

This is an interesting blog quiz..Thanks Fina for the lead..

You Should Get a PhD in Science (like chemistry, math, or engineering)

You're both smart and innovative when it comes to ideas. Maybe you'll find a cure for cancer - or develop the latest underground drug.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Updated on Monday, 31st October 2005, 8.30 a.m.:-
Been postponing to comment the above due to..what else, WORK!

Hei loookkk..Me and PHD in Science..Just what I've expected!
I never thought I'm a science kinda girl..But I love subjects that have objective answer, like Maths and Science. In fact, I was offered to pursue a Degree in Chemical Engineering in Canada by Mara, right after my SPM. But Abah wanted me to become a Chartered Practising Accountant..and Canada is just too far from Malaysia. "The furthest you can go is Australia", said Abah. So, I chosed the furthest..and took up Degree in Commerce (majoring in Accounting). Along the way, I got tired of accounting subjects and found out my love is more towards subjects like Economics, which uses lots of Statistics and Graphs. So, Abah's dream of seeing me becoming a CPA basically goes down the drain. But I make it up to him by marrying a guy who is on the verge of becoming a CPA:)

So, looking at the quiz result, it dawned to me that maybe I am a science person after all, though I hate to admit it (you know, people say that science people are stuck up and uncool). And perhaps, if I pursue my studies in science right after SPM, I might be working in a science lab somewhere, doing research to save the universe. To think of it again, what a boring job I would have!

I would rather utilise my right brain and do something more creative instead. I would enrol in sewing class and learn how to do some patchwork and embroidery..or learn how to use softwares like Adobe Illustrator or Pagemaker. Not that I'm a creative type of person as I seriously can't draw and not good with my hand either (kerastangan) but I appreciate art and beauty and just want to be apart of it.

Then again, where can I find TIME? I do not even have time to blog, for God's sake. One day, I will find you TIME and am going to make you work with me to fulfill my interest..

The Spirit of Raya..

"I'm excited to Raya this year, not like previous years where Raya is just a normal annual event" said Hubby.

"Why?"

"It's because of Ashraff. He's a big boy now..."

Yeah. Me and hubby are a more excited this year to celebrate Raya. As compared to last year, where Ashraff is just a helpless little baby, this year he is so much bigger. He can wear Baju Melayu Johor..sedodon with Hubby..He can walk, so we bought him one brand new kasut raya. Actually, hubby bought the shoes. He bought him a Clark shoes..CLARK, I tell you..and it costs him almost RM100!! And I do not know how long it will last..2 months, 3 months..
Hubby, if u r reading this..me also want one for Raya!!

Ibu on the other hand is near to broke..Where did the money go? To Ashraff's serba baru clothing of course! Let me see what I bought for him:-
- 3 pairs of jeans
- 1 belt
- 2 pyjamas
- countless no of Tshirts and shorts
- 1 checked shirt
- few new socks
- 1 baju melayu (sewn by mom-in-law).

Can't wait to see this little lad dress-up for Raya..He is more presentable this time around..and Ibu and Ayah are a bit too excited:)

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It's almost a ritual for me to bake some Raya cookies..My usual cookies are:-
(i) Chocolate Chip
(ii) Cheese Fingers

Last year, I was unable to bake as Ashraff was so fragile and small (3 months plus) and I do not have any helper to help me look after Ashraff while Ayah did his terawih at the mosque. So, this year, I am determined to continue baking cookies..

So far, I've baked two cookies:-
(i) Crunchy Jumbles - a combination of rice cereals, chocolate chip and coarsely chopped walnuts.
(ii) Cream Cheese Spiral - Cheesy cookies with sweet fillings made from walnut, brown sugar and ground cinnamon.

I'm taking leave this Thursday to bake another cookie - my normal Famous Amos Chocolate Chip.

And on Saturday, my usual Cheese Fingers.

And for the rest of the family:-
- Mak is baking Abah all-time-favourite Sultanas cookies..
- Mak Pontian (my mom-in-law) is baking kuih bangkit, suji and tart nenas (with homemade pineaple jam..Pontian has abundance supply of pineapples!)
- My sis-in-law is making the usual cornflakes madu and chocolate rice cereal..

Then we have barter trade between the besans..giving us a table full of homemade cookies!! A Blessing..

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Despite the high spirit of Raya, it is sad to see the bulan penuh keberkatan, Ramadhan passes..

Me and Disney..

Thanks Izreen for giving me the lead to this..

You Are Snow White!

Pure and trusting. You are a gentle soul who can get along with just about anyone. Everyone you meet instantly falls in love with you. How can they resist? You have a pure, lovable nature that's irresistable. Just don't trust everyone who comes across your path.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Hei, helloooo...

A live-in Maid

Life before and after having a live-in maid

Before
1. Responsible for all the house chores - do laundry, ironing, cleaning the house, fold and arrange the newly washed clothes in our little cupboard..oh, a long list of houseworks...
2. Make sure that Ashraff is bathed, nicely dressed, fed.
3. Forced to drop everything when I heard hubby said "Ashraff nak tido..Dia tak nak tidur ngan I.." There I was, spending my half and hour time (sometimes more), putting my fighting-with-eyes son to sleep, while my mind kept thinking of the half-washed dishes in the sink, or the clothes that need to be hang.
4. Rushed back to finish off the things that I've left when Ashraff is asleep. Thought of taking a nap once mission is accomplished! About to doze off, when I heard Ashraff's voice. He's awake! Darnnnn...
5. My only oh-so-caring helper that time is dearest Hubby. He'll help me in everything (except for ironing and folding clothes). He even help me to take care of Ashraff if he sees that I'm so tired. What a bliss!
6. Ashraff looked up for me for almost everything (except for the happening stuffs like kicking some balls) - to put him to sleep, to feed him with milk, to carry him..
6. Time management is critical.
7. No time for TV, magazines, books..and movies (cinemas)..With a hubby and a high-need baby to take care off, who has time for oneself?

After
1. Most houseworks like laundry, ironing, folding the clothes are Bibik's responsibilty. Cooking is still mine:)
2. I have more time to spend quality time with hubby and Ashraff.
3. I do not feel guilty to live Ashraff with mak and abah during weekends as I have Bibik to take care of him. Instead of having to ask my orang tua to cope with an active toddler.
4. I have time for myself now - reading, watching my favourite TV show, facial, hair treatment..name it!
5. I can see that Ashraff is getting closer with his Bibik. He does not looked up to me if he wants to sleep or to be carried..I can sense that my jealousy is building up..
6. No excuse of feeling tired..
7. I can feel that I'm starting to be dependent on her..I wonder if I'm able to resume my role of a bionic wife and mother if she's not around..
8. I am more relaxed in handling Ashraff's tantrums and fulfilling hubby's demand. Probably because I feel more energetic.

But one thing good about having a maid, me and hubby can go to the cinema to watch movie again without having to live our high-need toddler with mak and abah (like they care).
Yesterday, we watched movies together at TGV, KLCC after leaving the arena for 1 year plus! The last movie we had before yesterday was Shrek 2, when at that time I was heavily pregnant with Ashraff. We missed lots of good movies during the 1 year interval, some of which including Starwars (Episode 3)! Not to say that we feel bad about it, because the opportunity cost (economic terms for best alternative forgone when a particular action is taken) for not watching movies is extra time for our baby. But hey..for a movie-goers like us, we just HAVE TO...(are we bad parent or what?). So, the FLIGHTPLAN yesterday put an end to our long-awaited moment for a good movie...Have u watch that movie?

Next in line according to Hubby is GOAL! featuring famous football stars like David Beckham and Zidane..A must watch movie for football fans like us:)

Five Love Languages

Are you and your spouse speaking the same language?
He sends you flower but all you really want is time to talk. She gives you a hug but what you really need is a home-cooked meal. The problem is not the love - it is your love language!

According to Dr Gary Chapman, an experienced marriage counsellor, people tend to express and receive love in different ways, which is known as love language.
Just like having one comfortable language to use i.e. our mother's tongue, the same applies to love language. Sometimes our mother's tongue is different from our spouse's, thus, we have problem to talk. However, we tried to learn and communicate with our spouse's language and the same goes for him, just to make each other happy and comfortable. The same goes for love. If you want to feel connected to your Other Half, than try to learn and speak his love languages.

In his 20 years of counselling, Dr Chapman identified five love languages, such as follows:-

Act of Service
If you insist that your spouse do this and that, like helping you to prepare dinner, or wash the clothes, or vacumm the floor, ACT OF SERVICE is considered your love languages. By having your other half to perform the service, you felt loved by him. Or like what Dr. Chapman used to say "your love tank is full".

This works vice versa. If you other half concerns whether you do what you are supposed to do, then that might be his love language. Speak his love language, and he will feel love and willingly to give love in return.

Quality Time
If your spouse emphasis on having quality time with you, like having romantic dinner together, playing badminton together, going for a vacation together, then "Quality Time" is his love language.

Receiving Gifts
Oh yeah, this is nothing else but giving and receiving gifts. If u see that your Other Half loves to give u gift, without any specific occassion, then Receiving Gifts might be his love language.
I know a couple who have never given any gift to each other even during special occassion. And they survived for more than 15 years of marriage (till todate), which means they have different type of love language. Perhaps the next one..

Words of Affirmation
Words speaks louder than action. This is for people who has this type of love languages. Praise them, encouraged them, and they will feel love all over and are willingly to give love in return (usually by giving words of affirmation as well since that is their love language).

Physical Touch
Hold their hands, hug them, touch their face..just to make them feel love. If you find out that your spouse likes to hug you or hold your hand, eventhough you are not comfortable with that (perhaps you like flower/cake as an alternative), then you can tell that is his love language. So, to make him feel love, learn how to hold him and touch him always. That is sure to make him feel connected to you..

So, what is your love language? Basically, if you are incline to express love in a certain way, perhaps by praising him, then words of affirmation is your love language.
How about your Other Half? It takes time for you to find out actually. Living and being with him, u will be able to know. Like me, I always watch out for the things that triggers an argument between us. Usually, this is because of difference in love language. I got to know that my hubby's love language is "Act of Service". He expects me to take charge of household chores - cook, keep the house cleans etc. He does not care if I forget to buy him present for his birthday, or praise him if he wear something different, or spending quality time with him, or even hug him occassionally. Yang penting my service as a wife (service, service ni jangan pikir lain ye..). You should see how happy and satisfied he is if I cook for him!

My love language is something different. I don't mind if he does not help me with the housechores or forget to do something which I asked him to do. But if he does not do this one thing...memang panas! I don't feel the love coming from him at all! What is it, dear? I think you should know by now..After all, we have been married for almost three years..

Hope this is a good topic for married (and soon-to-be married) couples. Feel like writing something more educational today. By the way, your children also have different love languages..Abang lain, akak lain, adik lain..so it is up to us parents to tackle it..

The month of Ramadhan

When was the last time I blog? I seriously could not find time to even check my email lately and what more with updating my blog and blog hopping..
Today, I just need to write...so here I am..

I hope it's not too late for me to wish all my Muslim friends, SELAMAT BERPUASA di Bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ini..

Don't u think the foods in Pasar Ramadhan have increased this year?

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Ashraff has finally able to sleep lying down, with me patting him to sleep. U might be wondering how he slept previously. Well, we had to cradle him while tawafing the room. I ended up having an achy body and arm every morn. Ashraff is a high need baby who basically has this twelve features - intense, hyperactive, draining (drain mom&dad's energy), feeds frequently, demanding, awaken frequently, unsatisfied, unpredictable, super-sensitive, "can't pun baby down", not a self-soother and seperation sensitive (U can check this link to know more about this type of baby).

How do I get to know he's the high-need type? Basically, I was extremely tired from day One of Ashraff's life (with all the 12 features, who wouldn't feel so?). Family members also made comment that it's rather rare to see baby who is like Ashraff. Rather sad with the remarks, I took the initiative to surf the net, looking for information on baby personalities. That is how I got to know that my Ashraff falls under the category 'high-need'. From then on, I accepted Ashraff as what he is and try not to compare with other babies (altho I could not help but feeling jealous seeing baby just lying comfortably in the stroller while mama does her shopping).

But one thing for sure, I'm still waiting for Ashraff to be able to sleep on his own. So, when it somesort of happened last week, I'm extremely thrilled (I mentioned "somesort" because I still have to pat him to sleep, so not actually "on his own" yet). But that is better than carrying an 11 kg baby around the house for 30 mins..*sigh*..Alhamdulillah

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SME BANK BERHAD was launched on 3rd October 2005. Since that day, we at Ground Floor have to entertain on average 40 walk-in enquiries per day (which is like 3-4 customers per officer). Kering tekak woo!. But I find the job interesting, as I got to know lots of blooming entreprenuers who have 1001 ideas and strategies to ensure that their business succeeds. And some are clueless in business but have the intention to start one. Here I play an advisory role, and consult them on how they can go about in business, what are the challenges and what are their funding options. Really interesting!

Basically, just for your knowledge, here at SME Bank we are concentrating more on Bumiputra companies. We could finance manufacturing and services industry. However, for special funds such as Siswazah funds (for newly grads who want to start biz) and Ekonomi Desa funds (business located at luar bandar), we could also go into financing of trading business. So, if any of u who want to start a small scale business like a tuition center, kedai menjahit, restaurant, u can drop by at my Bank to ask..

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CreateMyOwnGift still going strong. Now we have three dealers - in Gombak, Bangi and Seremban. Currently, we are working on a new product, expected to be launched next year. Just to give a hint, it is a personalized children wear from 1 to 6 yo!! We have personalized birthday wear as well (famygirl, need your help to promte this to your client, can aahh??). Will come out with a mailing list so we could update our customers with latest news and products..Since non of us at CMOG is IT Savvy, so lambatlah sikit nak set-up mailing database ni...

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Guess I have killed my ketagihan to blog, with such a long-winded entry..God knows when I'll be able to write again..