Friday, December 30, 2005

Releasing the anger within.

Our 4-month-old Innova was knocked by Vios yesterday at Jln Tun Razak! The lady driver apologised for her mistake as she was looking elsewhere (probably SMSiNg) and did not notice that our car has slowed down and stopped. Idiot! And I am glad that it was a bumper-to-bumper crawl so it was a soft knock. But that does not mean that our car was left unscar. Eventhough it is slightly dented, but the thought that the car is considered very new (only 4 months old) makes us all very dissapointed that it happens!

But the impact has hit hubby the most. He has gone ballistic over the whole incident! He has lost his appetite yesterday eventhough I served him his favourite asam pedas (courtesy of mak, thank you). Our topic yesterday lingered on these subject ONLY - how the accident happened, that lady driver, the repair, the police report..I tried to divert his attention to the issue by coming out with new topics, but it is back to square one after few minutes. Even Ashraff's first-time calling him Ayah does not excite him!

Can't blame him for that as he has been taking care of that precious gem like his own baby. But u see, some things are beyond our control. Just like our case. Kalau nak kena, kena jugak.... What to do...

Now we have to drive that dented MPV back to Pontian tomorrow..Gee..

P.S: Will post a picture later, folks!


What is your opinion when I say most Malaysians are last minute people? Give me a break, I am Malaysian too. But if you notice, Malaysian will wait till the eleventh hour to settle its bills, pay their taxes..and now the MyKad thing..

If you happened to watch the news, you will see some of the standard feedbacks given by these proscrastinators when they were interviewed:-

(i)"Dulu, takde masa.." - so now you have all the time in the world to wait for almost the whole day waiting for just a piece of plastic card to be issued?! And sometimes more because you might not have a luck to obtain an angka giliran the first time you went (ni case my sisterlah, sampai 4 kali pergi baru dapat nombor).

(ii)"JPN sepatutnya buka lebih banyak kaunter dan memperbanyakkan angka giliran." Hellloooo...look who's talking...

Sorry if this offended anyone here, but sometimes we have to put the blame on ourselves rather than pointing fingers to other. And now JPN staffs have to burn the midnight oil just to clear all last minute MyKad applications. Poor thing!

I'm glad I did my MyKad way back in 2002. Yup dear, it's 3 years ago! Well, I'm not a super-duper obedient citizen but I was forced to do it. Why? Because my purse was stolen while I was praying at Sogo's surau! A blessing in disguise indeed. Or else, I might be the one who is currently waiting in a long queue at JPN...

P.S : Have you apply for your MyKad? It's two days to go!


Mak called me at my office this morning. We had a long chit-chat over the phone. Something which I never thought I would do with her. It was nice to hear her voice. Yeah, I miss her..and Abah too..
She told me that she wanted to go to our house today as Abah is missing Ashraff badly (Mak went to our house yesterday while I was at work to send asam pedas but Abah can't make it). And she asked us to drop by at her house today to pick up Ashraff and Bibik and have dinner together..Well, how can I say NO..

P.S: Izreen, you tagged me hah? Sorry babe, I overlooked. Next entry ok?!



Rafiqah & Co.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

From Landed Property to High-Rise Building..

Alhamdulillah. We have officially moved to our own home. Although there is still lot of decorations to make as the walls are pretty bare, but we are glad to call it OUR HOME.

It took us two days to carry our stuffs, which mainly consists of our clothings back and forth from Ampang to Cheras. I left some of my clothes which I hardly wear because I believe that there won't be enough space for me to put them in our now smaller room. I did make a correct decision! We used to have a walk-in cabinet and a stand-alone cupboard at my parent's and now we have to deal with just three doors of built-in cabinet with few drawers, and we have to share it with our lil Ashraff! We would not want to carry Ashraff's own cabinet as there is no possible way for us to position that thing in our room.

And another thing, we could not bring Ashraff's favourite cot along too. We were thinking of co-sharing the bed with him (a good idea?) but our bed is queen size and not king size like what we used to have, so three is a crowd on the bed. So now my lil lad has to settle himself comfortably sleeping on the floor. Poor thing! I called it 'Rumah Setinggan'..hehehe..
Since he is not used to the new environment and I'm pretty much afraid he'll roll-over and swept the whole room, both of us ended up restless during our first few nights there. Gee..

Then finally, on Sunday night, everything is nicely transferred and arranged. As I take the final look before I stepped out from my previous room, there is this weariness feeling inside me. The room which I have been occupying for the past 15 years of my life is now empty. It is even sadder to look at Abah's face when we handed over their house key. Mak decided to go back to Johor Bharu for no specific reason but Atok Lon (my aunty who is living with me) told me that Mak would not want to see us leave. I am not trying to be extra-melancholic here (as Ampang and Cheras are not that far anyway), but it was indeed a sad moment for me...

Then starting Monday, we have comfortably settling in. I started to cook for lunch (make it extra so I don't have to cook for dinner). We had a jolly good time bringing Ashraff for a swim. I wanted to put on my swimming attire and join the fun, but it is bright sunny evening and I am getting a bit too self-concious with my bulging tummy, so I decided to do it at night. Not that night, some other night. Probably tonight.

Then we have this gymnasium which I so look forward to have my regular exercise. But I need someone to actually do some physical check-up and advise me on the right machine to use. Perhaps I can try to have a peek at the Equilibrium Gym that is situated at Maju Junction.

Oh yeah, tonite, our community will have somesort of AGM meeting to pick the new committee for the people at Mentari Kondominium. For the first time, we would be able to make it, insyaAllah. I am so looking forward to get to know our neighbours.

I have to say that I am slowly adapting to the change in environment. There is still teeny weeny sorrow in me to be leaving my parent whom I know are badly missing their grandson at this very moment, I know I have to accept this. And hope Mak and Abah will be able to adjust with their new life without me, Fitri and Ashraff.

One thing that I know will take me a very looongggg time to accept is what used to be 20 mins journey back home from the office is now taking a whole 1 hour of our precious time! Cheras, Cheras, you definitely need elevated highway like we had in Ampang...

Friday, December 23, 2005

Entering a new life..

Finally, we are moving in to our OWN home sweet home in Cheras. Dearest Hubby decided that once and for all, without further delay, this long holiday will be used to transfer all our things from mak & abah's house in Bukit Antarabangsa, Ampang to our condominium in Bandar Tasik Permaisuri, Cheras, which has been completed in early 2003.

For the past 6 months, we have been going back and forth from my parent's house to our house. Weekdays in Ampang, and weekends in Cheras. I found it a bit too taxing for us to maintain two houses, with half of our things here and half there. There will be times when I searched high and low for my long skirt or pants, and eventually realised that I left it at our house in Cheras. Darn..

Soon, insyaAllah, gone are the days where we have to switch from one place to the other. Along it will be the days where our dinner is ready everytime we get back from work. Hubby has insisted me to cook for dinner every night regardless of how late we get back from work. So now, I would have to learn to become a master of the kitchen, something which I don't quite like doing but I know responsibility is a responsibility. And a wife gotta do what the husband wants her to do..So I am fine with that.

But one thing that touches my heart is my mak and abah's reaction towards us moving out from the house. This is partly the reason why we have been postponing our plan for such a looonngggg time. Mind you, it's 2 1/2 years of delay! Everytime when we brought up this issue, mak will either keep quiet throughout the dinner or abah will make the remark "pindah-pindah abah tak nak dengar." So, we were torn between our plan and mak & abah's feeling. And we still are..

And now with Ashraff around, it makes things harder. For example, last night, while watching the TV with mak & abah, Ashraff as usual will dance and jumping around the living hall, with his usual shriek of excitement. Abah then said "Tak lama lagi senyaplah rumah kita ye Adah (gelaran abah untuk mak)." And mak will give her usual gloomy look...Haiyaa..

Despite that, I WANT us to move. I insisted we move. I had a slow woman-to-woman talk with mak one night. I told her my attention to move is the only way for me to become a real wife to Fitri (not that I am not real, but at least it's time for me to take charge of the household). Apart from that, I pity my hubby. Staying with my parent, has one way or another hinders his side of family to come and lepaking with us at our house since it is not our OWN house. Not that my husband complained but I can sense it (macam bagus je..)

And then I said something which is rather adverse, but somehow makes sense to my mother. I told her, it is the evolution of life. We must put at the back of our mind that all our children will leave us one day to go on with their lives. She left my tok mak as soon as she married my father years ago. And now it is time for me to go on with my life. And soon there will come a time where Ashraff will move away from me. But moving to a new house, does not mean that we are moving away for good. We will still come back here once in a while (or probably every weekend). Cheras and Ampang are not that far anyway.

With this, she had not made a single comment when I finally put a strong footing saying I am moving to Cheras this Christmas holiday. And suprisingly, Abah too. She must have told Abah about our rationale to move in one of their husband-and-wife talks at night..hehehe..

So here we are, finally, packing our stuffs to our own adobe (quoting Mrs Corporate Tai-Tai) and entering a new life...Semoga Allah merahmati perjalanan hidup kami ini..

Just in case you are wondering now, which i am sure you are, insyaAllah there will be a house-warming makan-makan at our house. Will keep u posted on this one.

Oh by the way, despite our busyness to move this weekend, we, I mean CMOG will be opening a stall at Sunday Flea Market @ Kelab Ukay, Bukit Antarabangsa from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. So if you happen to be somewhere in this area, please drop by...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

It's a good start.

Yesterday, I managed to control my appetite and took less food. Here's what I had yesterday:-

A bar of muesli and a mug of milo (less sugar, add my fav soy protein powder).

A quarter plate of rice only (usually it will be a full plate) and spent most of the times, gatah lauk sahaja. It was pretty hard for me not to eat rice with lauk, but I managed to resist my food temptations. Yey!

A quarter plate of rice plus the normal lauk-pauk. Double yey!

I planned to reduce my calorie intake gradually instead of indulging in self-stalvation method. So from a full plate of rice (sometimes double plate) to a quarter plate is a good start for me. Am so proud of myself!

Now I am into studying the food pyramid to ensure that I have a well-balanced diet. I do not want to end-up like a collegue of mine who fainted right in the middle of the office, as she is too obsessed with losing weight and chose crash diet method. Ouch!

Let me see whether my effort yield any return at the end of the day. Perhaps next Friday is a good day for me to jump on the weighing scale. Do remind me, yeah buddy..

As for Ashraff, he is still carrying the motto "Say 'NO' to FOOD!". Guess it is a good time for me to join his campaign..

Friday, December 16, 2005

"Ibu, No!".."Ashraff, please..."

The sign above signifies Ashraff's motto for the past three days. He is back in his no-mood-to-eat mood, leaving his mother totally devastated! I am so sick worried of his weight, that is for certain. After the drop of 1 kilo due to the Mouth Disease he had earlier, he never actually regain his weight. He is still at 10kg++, which is considered low for toddler his age and for a baby who was born at 3.74kg!

One thing that somesort of ease my mind is that he drinks lots of milk as compared to before. All these while, he has been depending on small bottle (the 4oz bottle) for each milk time. Lately, his consumption has shoot up to 6-7 oz (at one time 9oz) per session. So, I guess he must have substitute the solid with milk. But any mother will freak out to the fact that their child would not have sufficient nutrition from depending on milk ONLY.

It is also pretty hard for me to deal with picky eater like Ashraff, whom will only eat from the ready packed food like Nestle or Gerber. He will puke whenever he takes the home-cooked meal, no matter how we vary the ingredients. After sometime, we sort of acknowledge the fact that cooking for him is just a waste of time (and gas).

Then, a friend of mine told me that maybe he wants to eat like any adults would, coz now he has lots of teeth. And I thought that maybe he is bored of eating the normal Nestle or Gerber products that we gave him - gandum campur soya, gandum campur madu, mixed fruits, beras & ayam etc, as he has been consuming that for the past one year. Perhaps I should try something with a more substance in it.

Here is a recipe that I got from a friend (thanks Ivy!) that I would love to try:-

"You can try making your own chicken nuggets. Blitz some chicken breast (no skin of course) in the food processor, campur with fresh bread crumbs sikit (one piece fresh bread, blitz in the food processor), add an egg yolk, some herbs if you like, a tiny pinch of salt - or not and mix. Then dunk it in egg and breadcrumbs and saute with olive oil"

Sounds yummylicious, aye?!.

I hope my effort to make Ashraff eat is pay-off this time around. Or else, it will be another round of waste-time-and-waste-gas.

Sometimes I wonder, apart from the joy of having children, parenting job also comes with a bag of worries. For the past 16 months, there have been countless time I have to deal with anxiety attack. I told my mother that probably if Ashraff can talk and voice out his feelings, I will stop worrying. My mother's reply was "Tak jugak. Kita hanya akan stop fikir dan risau pasal anak-anak hanya apabila kita dah mati." Guess I have to agree with her...

As for now, Ashraff deary, please eat...

Monday, December 12, 2005

How to back-up?

Today is a peaceful day for me. Hardly any client calling in, asking what is their balance outstanding, or pouring their problems in meeting their loan obligations. Can be because of the holiday for the State of Selangor...

I do not have much to do either. I have finished doing the disbursement proposal, have submitted the follow-up report and fulfilling client's request for 1001 things (selagi boleh they will request). If I'm motivated enough, probably I can start doing some of the 'forecasted' work like loan foreclosure for some bad loans, but I chosed not too.

Instead, I spent my precious free time, going through my archives, reading all my rants and rambles in the past. Some are funny, some are pretty sad, some are what-the-heck-are-u-thinking-at-that-time..

Having done so, it dawned to me that I do not do any back-up for my precious entries. How do I do back up yeah? Any advise for an IT idiot like me? Thanks!


Just got an email from my collegue. It's my boss invitation for free pizza. He treats us every month. I missed the last one as I was on 'puasa enam', and it's a big dugaan at that time since I've been longing to have one. Now this is the time for me to whallop some of the best pizzas in town by the name of Free Pizza!
There goes my diet...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Shed them off!!

One day at the surau..

"Rafiqah, just want to ask you something. There's this rumour going around saying that you are pregnant. Betul ke?"

My immediate response was..

"Gemuk sangat ke saya ni?"

Why am I not suprise? It is because that was not the first comment I got regarding my weight lately. Some of the comments I received were:-

"Eh, eh, dah gemuklah you sekarang" - a straightforward one.
"Eh, lama tak jumpa dah berisi sikit ye. Dulu kurus je" - this one is trying to cover line by using words like "berisi", "naik badan" etc.
"Gemuklah kau sejak kawin. Mendadak pulak tu naik!" - this one really 'dropped my water face'. Remark given by a man, in a lift full of other men. Geee!!
"Dah 'berisi' ke?" - asking whether I'm pregnant, which is definitely due to the weight.
"Cantiklah awak sejak dah ada anak ni. Berseri-seri. Kalau dulu muka cengkung, badan pun kurus semacam" - This one I like best! *grinning like kerang busuk*

Yes, I have to admit (eventhough still in a denial stage) that my weight has increased a lot..yes, A LOT after I stopped breastfeeding Ashraff. Previously, my weight was..emmm..let me see, the most was 45 kilos. And I've had a hard time maintaining that weight, as I'm scared I will become thinner and look like cicak kubing. It becomes worsen after the fasting month or after recovering from illnesses like severe coughing (which drains out your energy) or diarrhea. Muka cengkung semacam!

Whenever I look at fashion & beauty magazine, all they talk about is weight loss but seldom touches on how to gain some weight. Do you know the Appeton Weight Gain available at all major pharmacies? I always had the urge to consume those, but my close friend stopped me from doing that as she said it may cause your weight to keep on increasing (something which she learns from other people's experience). I remembered what she told me..

"You kahwin dulu, dapat anak, then tengok whether you still kurus lagi ke tak?"

And my stubborn answer was..

"Tak mungkin! My parent jenis yang kurus and I doubt I can increase any weight"

Yeah right! Look what I've become now!

Now my weight is fifty..errr..ahh! I better not disclosed. But to give you the hint, it is towards the end of '50' scale. Isn't that scary??

If before I try to avoid jumping on the weighing scale because I'm scared that the pointer will move further left from the previous one, now I am scared of the opposite. I do not know what actually happened. My eating habit is just like before. My suspect would be because of a decrease in metabolism rate, probably due to age factor. What am I suppose to do now?

Basically to shed some fats you have to do the following:-
(i) To control calories intake. Have a healthy diet!
(ii) To exercise regularly.

Let me see whether I can do these things:-
(i) Healthy Diet - Currently, I am actively searching the net for the right food to eat. I would not want to skip meals as I don't think my minor gastric problem can tolerate that. Anyone willing to share me some diet menu and tip?

My biggest hurdle would be my high food temptation! You see, I am so used to eating whenever or whatever I want to eat without worrying about my weight. So, it is really hard for me to control my desire to consume favourite foods like fried chicken, nasi beriyani. That's a No-No right?

(ii) Exercise. Yes, but not regularly. I just could not find way to discipline myself when it comes to exercising. I feel like enrolling to any good fitness club where they have this trainer who can give your professional advice. But then, my financial will go haywire and I don't think dearest Hubby will allow that. Then again, would I have the discipline to drag my feet to the fitness club every now and then?

Yeah, I'm still thinking of ways for me to exercise..and discipline myself to exercise.

Don't you think the slimming centres ads in the media is very attractive for someone who has weight problem? For me, yes it is! Especially the one with celebrities like Amy Mastura - losing from xx kilos to xx kilos. Do you think those places are effective?

Guess it is a bit too early for New Year's resolution but I do have few things in mind. One, is definitely to lose some weight. I would not want to look as thin as before but just to reach an ideal weight that I am comfortable with. But what if I am pregnant next year? That will be a different story altogether..

Good luck to me! Any tips and advice are most welcome.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A miserable two-week..

Not only people who are getting married next week is busy (referring to Fina), but married people with children too (referring to Yours Truly)..

The past two weeks was an exhaustive 14 days of my life. Work is the normal reason. But, beyond that is Ashraff. The first week, Ashraff was attacked by a disease called Balanitis, an inflamation and redness at his "bird" caused by bacteria/virus. At first, we thought it is just the normal nappy rash. But looking at Ashraff who screamed his heart out in what used to be an enjoyable bathing time, made us bring him to the paeditrician. According to paed, not all boys can get easily affected at that place but Ashraff is the type that is vulnerable to it. And by right, boys like Ashraff has to be circumcised at an early age (under 6 mo), where the procedure can be done under local anaesthetic (lesser side affects as compared to general anaesthetic). Since Ashraff has passed that age, paed advised that he has to wait till the right age (the earliest is 5 yo) to get a normal adult circumcision, with again under local anaesthetic. Within that period, Ashraff might suffer from Balanitis for maybe another 2-3 times.

Oh! How I wish we have circumsise him the moment he was born. We have thought of that before but the cost to do it at the place where he was born was beyond our budget so we decided to find somewhere cheaper. But Ashraff's fussy and colicky behaviour has taken its toll, so we had to put our plan on hold. And I presumed you know what happens to the plan, yeah..Proscrastination kills! So, if any of you has given birth to a baby boy, do get an early circumsicion for him!

Right after he has recovered from Balanitis, Ashraff was attacked by another disease..A Mouth Disease (doctor has forgotten to give us the scientific name for it, if any). At first, I thought Ashraff was teething as he showed the same sign like drooling, loss of appetite and restless nights.

Then he had a slight fever, so as usual, Ibu took an emergency leave in the morning. During the day, I observed his temperature and just gave him the normal standby medicine in the fridge. But, when I saw his gum was exceptionally red and swollen, I rushed to the paeditrician for a check-up. It turned out to be that all Ashraff's gum, tongue and lelangit was full of white spots i.e ulcers caused by bacteria/virus and he was put on antibiotic again. Poor baby!! How he hates taking medicine!

So, the next few days was a dreadful event for the whole family as we seldom hear Ashraff's laughter and blabbering. Only crying and wailing, out of pain and hunger. Our nights was even worse as Ashraff woke up every half and hour, screaming(you should see a pair of panda eyes I have now...a sign of a caring Ibu. Cehh!). It is sad to see how he kept pointing to his milk and food, and yet when we tried to give it to him, he pushed it away, crying.

Yesterday, Ashraff has shown a sign of recovery as he started taking plain rice (but not his normal cereal and porridge) and drink some milk. And he also had a sleep-thru night yesterday, perhaps trying to recover some sleep after the interrupted sleeps he had few nights before.

During the two-week crash course, I learned these lessons:-
(i) No matter how tired we are, do not complain as it is never as tiring as taking care of a sick child (sekarang ni tgh insaflah..esok2 lupa lagi..hehehe).
(ii) Hygiene is very important in taking care of a child. It is not that we do not know or practice this, but the two diseases occured recently involved virus, so there must be something lacking. So now, I'm like a freak..sikit-sikit sterilise. Sikit lagi nak jadi macam Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets.

But all in all, with the recovery of both disease, it is a sign of relief for both Ibu and Ayah..which leaves me with something to blog on..hehehe..

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

How's Raya?

How's Raya? A near-to-compulsory question the moment you return to work after Raya holiday.

I have to say that our Raya is great, alhamdulillah. Though I could not sleep over at Tok Mak's house during Raya Eve, just like planned (aunties and uncles decided last minute to go back to JB, bringing my cousins along), Hubby is kind enough to drive all the way to JB from Pontian that night so that I could spent the meaningful night with my parent. And came back to Pontian late in the night. Thanks dear!

Ashraff was cooperative with us throughout the whole period, including visiting about more than 10 houses in a day at Muar. He captures everyone attention with his jovial character and his blabbering in "German" language. Thank God he has lost his stranger anxiety and can get along with just about anybody (except for my Uncle Raymie who scared him to death).

One thing I found out during Raya is Ashraff likes to socialize with children that is at least 2-3 years older than him. And is more attracted to cute lil lass..hmmmmm...

I guess by mixing and socializing, Ashraff learns lots of new skills during Raya. He knows how to say "Bye Bye" with action, "Kuk, kuk, kuk" - imitating the sound of rooster (and continue to do this while searching for one in KL..feeling all frustrated when he could not find one..) and pointing his fingers to place he wants to go or things that he want.

All in all, just like every Raya, it feels good to be able to meet with relatives that we only met once a year (that is during Raya). One thing that saddens me is that they are lesser house to visit in Muar (we used to visit more than 10 houses) as some have passed away for the last one year. During the year, mak's pak long and pak uda have passed away. Tok Lon's mother has also passed away. Those were a must-visit house in Muar the previous year. I guess that is life..

Unlike Muar, Pontian and JB, in KL is all about visiting the second generation - mak and abah's cousin, me and hubby's cousin and also friends. So, most of our nights during weekdays and the whole weekend are spent visiting or entertaining guest.

Oh yeah, friends, do come to our house in either Bukit Antarabangsa and Cheras. But do buzz us first to make us stand-by for your visit. We PLAN to do open house but it is still in planning and Raya is almost over, so I guess we won't be having any this year..Maybe next year..

Monday, October 31, 2005

Hari Raya datang lagi!

This is our Agenda for this year's Raya:-
Malam Raya and Pagi Raya - Rabu and Khamis
After two years of Raya as married couple, this is the first time I'm going to spend Raya eve and Raya morning with my own Mak and Abah at Tok Mak's house in Johor Bharu. Reason being, Tok Mak's house is emptier this year as most of my aunties and cousins will only be arriving petang Raya.
So, this year will only be shooting for Pontian after sembahyang raya. Spent the rest of the day there visiting mother-in-law's side of family.

Second Raya - Jumaat
Back to JB. Usually my Aunty Teh has her open house this day. Spent the day visiting my mother's side of family.

Third and Fourth Raya - Sabtu and Ahad
To Muar, visiting my father's side of family and some mother's (Mak and Abah are saudara after all, so sedara Mak is sedara Abah and vice versa). This is the best, yet the most tiring part of Raya. We visited around 10 houses per day. Hope Ashraff can tolerate that..

Fifth Raya - Isnin
To Felda area in Kulai, visiting my late father-in-law's side of family. It's not Felda Taib Andak, mind you..or else, we might be bumping into Mawi..Then, we will head off to Pasir Gudang, again FIL's family.

Sixth Raya - Selasa
Planned to go to Singapore to visit again FIL's side of family, but Ashraff does not have a passport yet. So, probably we will spend the day resting in Pontian.

Seventh Raya - Rabu
Heading of to KL...will be back to work on Thursday..

To all, Selamat Hari Raya AidilFitri..And Maaf Zahir Batin. To those yang balik kampung tu, do drive carefully..Till we meet again in this blog after Raya..
Rafiqah, Fitri and Ashraff

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Pursuing study?

This is an interesting blog quiz..Thanks Fina for the lead..

You Should Get a PhD in Science (like chemistry, math, or engineering)

You're both smart and innovative when it comes to ideas.
Maybe you'll find a cure for cancer - or develop the latest underground drug.

Updated on Monday, 31st October 2005, 8.30 a.m.:-
Been postponing to comment the above due to..what else, WORK!

Hei loookkk..Me and PHD in Science..Just what I've expected!
I never thought I'm a science kinda girl..But I love subjects that have objective answer, like Maths and Science. In fact, I was offered to pursue a Degree in Chemical Engineering in Canada by Mara, right after my SPM. But Abah wanted me to become a Chartered Practising Accountant..and Canada is just too far from Malaysia. "The furthest you can go is Australia", said Abah. So, I chosed the furthest..and took up Degree in Commerce (majoring in Accounting). Along the way, I got tired of accounting subjects and found out my love is more towards subjects like Economics, which uses lots of Statistics and Graphs. So, Abah's dream of seeing me becoming a CPA basically goes down the drain. But I make it up to him by marrying a guy who is on the verge of becoming a CPA:)

So, looking at the quiz result, it dawned to me that maybe I am a science person after all, though I hate to admit it (you know, people say that science people are stuck up and uncool). And perhaps, if I pursue my studies in science right after SPM, I might be working in a science lab somewhere, doing research to save the universe. To think of it again, what a boring job I would have!

I would rather utilise my right brain and do something more creative instead. I would enrol in sewing class and learn how to do some patchwork and embroidery..or learn how to use softwares like Adobe Illustrator or Pagemaker. Not that I'm a creative type of person as I seriously can't draw and not good with my hand either (kerastangan) but I appreciate art and beauty and just want to be apart of it.

Then again, where can I find TIME? I do not even have time to blog, for God's sake. One day, I will find you TIME and am going to make you work with me to fulfill my interest..

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The Spirit of Raya..

"I'm excited to Raya this year, not like previous years where Raya is just a normal annual event" said Hubby.


"It's because of Ashraff. He's a big boy now..."

Yeah. Me and hubby are a more excited this year to celebrate Raya. As compared to last year, where Ashraff is just a helpless little baby, this year he is so much bigger. He can wear Baju Melayu Johor..sedodon with Hubby..He can walk, so we bought him one brand new kasut raya. Actually, hubby bought the shoes. He bought him a Clark shoes..CLARK, I tell you..and it costs him almost RM100!! And I do not know how long it will last..2 months, 3 months..
Hubby, if u r reading also want one for Raya!!

Ibu on the other hand is near to broke..Where did the money go? To Ashraff's serba baru clothing of course! Let me see what I bought for him:-
- 3 pairs of jeans
- 1 belt
- 2 pyjamas
- countless no of Tshirts and shorts
- 1 checked shirt
- few new socks
- 1 baju melayu (sewn by mom-in-law).

Can't wait to see this little lad dress-up for Raya..He is more presentable this time around..and Ibu and Ayah are a bit too excited:)


It's almost a ritual for me to bake some Raya cookies..My usual cookies are:-
(i) Chocolate Chip
(ii) Cheese Fingers

Last year, I was unable to bake as Ashraff was so fragile and small (3 months plus) and I do not have any helper to help me look after Ashraff while Ayah did his terawih at the mosque. So, this year, I am determined to continue baking cookies..

So far, I've baked two cookies:-
(i) Crunchy Jumbles - a combination of rice cereals, chocolate chip and coarsely chopped walnuts.
(ii) Cream Cheese Spiral - Cheesy cookies with sweet fillings made from walnut, brown sugar and ground cinnamon.

I'm taking leave this Thursday to bake another cookie - my normal Famous Amos Chocolate Chip.

And on Saturday, my usual Cheese Fingers.

And for the rest of the family:-
- Mak is baking Abah all-time-favourite Sultanas cookies..
- Mak Pontian (my mom-in-law) is baking kuih bangkit, suji and tart nenas (with homemade pineaple jam..Pontian has abundance supply of pineapples!)
- My sis-in-law is making the usual cornflakes madu and chocolate rice cereal..

Then we have barter trade between the us a table full of homemade cookies!! A Blessing..


Despite the high spirit of Raya, it is sad to see the bulan penuh keberkatan, Ramadhan passes..

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Me and Disney..

Thanks Izreen for giving me the lead to this..

You Are Snow White!
Image hosted by

Pure and trusting. You are a gentle soul who can get along with just about anyone. Everyone you meet instantly falls in love with you. How can they resist? You have a pure, lovable nature that's irresistable. Just don't trust everyone who comes across your path.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Hei, helloooo...

Monday, October 17, 2005

A live-in Maid

Life before and after having a live-in maid

1. Responsible for all the house chores - do laundry, ironing, cleaning the house, fold and arrange the newly washed clothes in our little cupboard..oh, a long list of houseworks...
2. Make sure that Ashraff is bathed, nicely dressed, fed.
3. Forced to drop everything when I heard hubby said "Ashraff nak tido..Dia tak nak tidur ngan I.." There I was, spending my half and hour time (sometimes more), putting my fighting-with-eyes son to sleep, while my mind kept thinking of the half-washed dishes in the sink, or the clothes that need to be hang.
4. Rushed back to finish off the things that I've left when Ashraff is asleep. Thought of taking a nap once mission is accomplished! About to doze off, when I heard Ashraff's voice. He's awake! Darnnnn...
5. My only oh-so-caring helper that time is dearest Hubby. He'll help me in everything (except for ironing and folding clothes). He even help me to take care of Ashraff if he sees that I'm so tired. What a bliss!
6. Ashraff looked up for me for almost everything (except for the happening stuffs like kicking some balls) - to put him to sleep, to feed him with milk, to carry him..
6. Time management is critical.
7. No time for TV, magazines, books..and movies (cinemas)..With a hubby and a high-need baby to take care off, who has time for oneself?

1. Most houseworks like laundry, ironing, folding the clothes are Bibik's responsibilty. Cooking is still mine:)
2. I have more time to spend quality time with hubby and Ashraff.
3. I do not feel guilty to live Ashraff with mak and abah during weekends as I have Bibik to take care of him. Instead of having to ask my orang tua to cope with an active toddler.
4. I have time for myself now - reading, watching my favourite TV show, facial, hair it!
5. I can see that Ashraff is getting closer with his Bibik. He does not looked up to me if he wants to sleep or to be carried..I can sense that my jealousy is building up..
6. No excuse of feeling tired..
7. I can feel that I'm starting to be dependent on her..I wonder if I'm able to resume my role of a bionic wife and mother if she's not around..
8. I am more relaxed in handling Ashraff's tantrums and fulfilling hubby's demand. Probably because I feel more energetic.

But one thing good about having a maid, me and hubby can go to the cinema to watch movie again without having to live our high-need toddler with mak and abah (like they care).
Yesterday, we watched movies together at TGV, KLCC after leaving the arena for 1 year plus! The last movie we had before yesterday was Shrek 2, when at that time I was heavily pregnant with Ashraff. We missed lots of good movies during the 1 year interval, some of which including Starwars (Episode 3)! Not to say that we feel bad about it, because the opportunity cost (economic terms for best alternative forgone when a particular action is taken) for not watching movies is extra time for our baby. But hey..for a movie-goers like us, we just HAVE TO...(are we bad parent or what?). So, the FLIGHTPLAN yesterday put an end to our long-awaited moment for a good movie...Have u watch that movie?

Next in line according to Hubby is GOAL! featuring famous football stars like David Beckham and Zidane..A must watch movie for football fans like us:)

Friday, October 14, 2005

Five Love Languages

Are you and your spouse speaking the same language?
He sends you flower but all you really want is time to talk. She gives you a hug but what you really need is a home-cooked meal. The problem is not the love - it is your love language!

According to Dr Gary Chapman, an experienced marriage counsellor, people tend to express and receive love in different ways, which is known as love language.
Just like having one comfortable language to use i.e. our mother's tongue, the same applies to love language. Sometimes our mother's tongue is different from our spouse's, thus, we have problem to talk. However, we tried to learn and communicate with our spouse's language and the same goes for him, just to make each other happy and comfortable. The same goes for love. If you want to feel connected to your Other Half, than try to learn and speak his love languages.

In his 20 years of counselling, Dr Chapman identified five love languages, such as follows:-

Act of Service
If you insist that your spouse do this and that, like helping you to prepare dinner, or wash the clothes, or vacumm the floor, ACT OF SERVICE is considered your love languages. By having your other half to perform the service, you felt loved by him. Or like what Dr. Chapman used to say "your love tank is full".

This works vice versa. If you other half concerns whether you do what you are supposed to do, then that might be his love language. Speak his love language, and he will feel love and willingly to give love in return.

Quality Time
If your spouse emphasis on having quality time with you, like having romantic dinner together, playing badminton together, going for a vacation together, then "Quality Time" is his love language.

Receiving Gifts
Oh yeah, this is nothing else but giving and receiving gifts. If u see that your Other Half loves to give u gift, without any specific occassion, then Receiving Gifts might be his love language.
I know a couple who have never given any gift to each other even during special occassion. And they survived for more than 15 years of marriage (till todate), which means they have different type of love language. Perhaps the next one..

Words of Affirmation
Words speaks louder than action. This is for people who has this type of love languages. Praise them, encouraged them, and they will feel love all over and are willingly to give love in return (usually by giving words of affirmation as well since that is their love language).

Physical Touch
Hold their hands, hug them, touch their face..just to make them feel love. If you find out that your spouse likes to hug you or hold your hand, eventhough you are not comfortable with that (perhaps you like flower/cake as an alternative), then you can tell that is his love language. So, to make him feel love, learn how to hold him and touch him always. That is sure to make him feel connected to you..

So, what is your love language? Basically, if you are incline to express love in a certain way, perhaps by praising him, then words of affirmation is your love language.
How about your Other Half? It takes time for you to find out actually. Living and being with him, u will be able to know. Like me, I always watch out for the things that triggers an argument between us. Usually, this is because of difference in love language. I got to know that my hubby's love language is "Act of Service". He expects me to take charge of household chores - cook, keep the house cleans etc. He does not care if I forget to buy him present for his birthday, or praise him if he wear something different, or spending quality time with him, or even hug him occassionally. Yang penting my service as a wife (service, service ni jangan pikir lain ye..). You should see how happy and satisfied he is if I cook for him!

My love language is something different. I don't mind if he does not help me with the housechores or forget to do something which I asked him to do. But if he does not do this one thing...memang panas! I don't feel the love coming from him at all! What is it, dear? I think you should know by now..After all, we have been married for almost three years..

Hope this is a good topic for married (and soon-to-be married) couples. Feel like writing something more educational today. By the way, your children also have different love languages..Abang lain, akak lain, adik it is up to us parents to tackle it..

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

The month of Ramadhan

When was the last time I blog? I seriously could not find time to even check my email lately and what more with updating my blog and blog hopping..
Today, I just need to here I am..

I hope it's not too late for me to wish all my Muslim friends, SELAMAT BERPUASA di Bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ini..

Don't u think the foods in Pasar Ramadhan have increased this year?


Ashraff has finally able to sleep lying down, with me patting him to sleep. U might be wondering how he slept previously. Well, we had to cradle him while tawafing the room. I ended up having an achy body and arm every morn. Ashraff is a high need baby who basically has this twelve features - intense, hyperactive, draining (drain mom&dad's energy), feeds frequently, demanding, awaken frequently, unsatisfied, unpredictable, super-sensitive, "can't pun baby down", not a self-soother and seperation sensitive (U can check this link to know more about this type of baby).

How do I get to know he's the high-need type? Basically, I was extremely tired from day One of Ashraff's life (with all the 12 features, who wouldn't feel so?). Family members also made comment that it's rather rare to see baby who is like Ashraff. Rather sad with the remarks, I took the initiative to surf the net, looking for information on baby personalities. That is how I got to know that my Ashraff falls under the category 'high-need'. From then on, I accepted Ashraff as what he is and try not to compare with other babies (altho I could not help but feeling jealous seeing baby just lying comfortably in the stroller while mama does her shopping).

But one thing for sure, I'm still waiting for Ashraff to be able to sleep on his own. So, when it somesort of happened last week, I'm extremely thrilled (I mentioned "somesort" because I still have to pat him to sleep, so not actually "on his own" yet). But that is better than carrying an 11 kg baby around the house for 30 mins..*sigh*..Alhamdulillah


SME BANK BERHAD was launched on 3rd October 2005. Since that day, we at Ground Floor have to entertain on average 40 walk-in enquiries per day (which is like 3-4 customers per officer). Kering tekak woo!. But I find the job interesting, as I got to know lots of blooming entreprenuers who have 1001 ideas and strategies to ensure that their business succeeds. And some are clueless in business but have the intention to start one. Here I play an advisory role, and consult them on how they can go about in business, what are the challenges and what are their funding options. Really interesting!

Basically, just for your knowledge, here at SME Bank we are concentrating more on Bumiputra companies. We could finance manufacturing and services industry. However, for special funds such as Siswazah funds (for newly grads who want to start biz) and Ekonomi Desa funds (business located at luar bandar), we could also go into financing of trading business. So, if any of u who want to start a small scale business like a tuition center, kedai menjahit, restaurant, u can drop by at my Bank to ask..


CreateMyOwnGift still going strong. Now we have three dealers - in Gombak, Bangi and Seremban. Currently, we are working on a new product, expected to be launched next year. Just to give a hint, it is a personalized children wear from 1 to 6 yo!! We have personalized birthday wear as well (famygirl, need your help to promte this to your client, can aahh??). Will come out with a mailing list so we could update our customers with latest news and products..Since non of us at CMOG is IT Savvy, so lambatlah sikit nak set-up mailing database ni...


Guess I have killed my ketagihan to blog, with such a long-winded entry..God knows when I'll be able to write again..

Thursday, September 22, 2005

One Busy Working Lady

I'm EXTREMELY busy with my new work in this new place. No time to check time for surfing the time for blogging...and worst still, not even have the time to go toilet!

But now, while waiting for hubby, I have the extra time to drop a line or two at my dearest online journal..I'll be at Ground Floor in this office building starting Monday. And guess what? Each officer has a room of its own, which includes YOURS TRULY! I'm so happy..Belum jadi boss pun dah dapat bilik. The whole integration between two banks is a Blessing in Disguise. Most of my friends from other dept envy us here..Well, that's life..Ahhhh...

But my boss made a remark.."kerja kita akan jadi sebesar bilik ye.." Which means more work for YOURS TRULY!! *sigh*

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

It's a small world afterall..

"Yang, we were invited to attend a majlis pertunangan this Saturday. We have to mengiring the boy's side."

That happened last Saturday. The soon-to-be fiance (now fiance)was my hubby's schoolmate..while the soon-to-be fiancee (now fiancee) was my classmate. They got to know this when both of them received our wedding invitation card the last two years. And we were suprised when they came together for our wedding. I can still remember what the fiancee told me on my wedding day.."I cakap kat dia yang I ada wedding this Sunday kat Bukit Antarabangsa and and I want him to come too..and to my suprise, he also told me that he has one too at Bukit Antarabangsa. And it turned out to be the same, except I was invited by you while him from your hubby". What a small world!

During the engagement ceremony, I saw a familiar face. She looks like my MRSM mate (but someone who I've never talked too in MRSM), except she changes a lot from her MRSM days (which we found out during our 10th year reunion). She turned out to be the fiance's sister-in-law and her name confirmed that she was my MRSM mate. What a small world!

Then, while eating the scrumptious meal with my hubby's other classmates, I asked one of them (actually to confirm)on whether his wife is from MRSM or not. He said his wife studied in MRSM Kuala Berang last time. Since she came from the same batch, I told him that some of BB friends also joined MRSM Kuala Berang like Fina, Ebbe, Nurzaimah. And to my suprise, he responded that he knows Fina...Hei Fina, glamernye kau!. And another guy also said that he has met Fina before. He said he met this famous BB pal of mine at one hockey tournament - Pakistan vs Malaysia, I think. Since I know Fina is a hockey freak, I'm not suprised. But the funny part was when he mentioned this.."Bukan Fina tu tomboy ke? Jerit dan ketawa tak ingat punya masa tengok hoki tu!". Hahahaha...Then he added that he had a brief encounter with Fina after few years.."Alhamdulillah, dah berubah dah.." hahahaha...What a small world!

On that night, I can see how small our circle of friends are..She knows him, and her friend knows his friend..It is a small world after all..

To Syaril and Asmahani, may you have a smooth engagement journey..and have fun preparing for your wedding!

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Party is over...

Was on Emergency Leave yesterday. Ashraff was not feeling well. This morning, checked my email and I got this..

Dear Rafiqah,

Kindly be informed that YBhg Dato' XXXXXX has decided to cancel your participation to Istanbul, Turkey at the end of this month.

Training Dept.

So there goes my dream trip to Turkey, Europe. Twice this year! First to Japan, now to Turkey. I guess it's not my year..But then, deep down inside, I don't feel totally devastated (like it is the end of the world) coz I'm quite well prepared for this. You know with merging and stuff, I have the feeling I won't be going. Or probably because Ashraff has started calling me "Ibu" which I don't think I could stand not hearing his voice for a whole two weeks. Somehow, God has a way of arranging our life and I believe ada hikmah di sebalik setiap kejadian...


Ashraff's party went out well last Saturday. Although most of my close friends could not make Sheila (her baby came three weeks early than scheduled), Nissa (last minute course to Melaka), and most of my officemates (with various reasons)...the house was still full of 25 other childrens.

Ashraff was in good mood throughout the event(me and hubby was thankful for that!). Here are some captures of the day:-

A goodie for the children, consist of squeaky toyplane, biscuits, chocolates and sweets. If u want to get one for your children's party, u can be in contact with famygirl..

Ashraff's cake with Ashraff's pic on it..You can contact yours truly to order..hehehe...But do u notice that the wording is slightly distorted? That's because there's slight error, instead of 1st, it was written as 2nd. So, we had to amend it manually..Darn! But the taste of the choc moist cake is superb!

Cake cutting ceremony. Ibu dia yang excited..

The star of the day..."Bird mana Ashraff?".."Bird takde"..

Me and Hubby would like to thank all who came and make the event a memorable one..thanks for the lovely gift!

Friday, September 02, 2005

"What I was like"

Tagged by Fina..darn..Thank God I have nothing else to do in the office except for reading policies..So here goes..

20 years ago : 1985 (I was 8)
Was in std 2 Kuning at that time. Mistaken for a nerd, with my big plastic spectacles and exxxtrraaa slim figure at that time. Oh how I hate the way I look at that time! Was a quiet and timid girl back then. Too afraid to answer any questions given my teachers, too afraid to socialize..I actually changed starting from Std 5..I don't know how it happens though..

10 years ago : 1995 (I was 18)
Was called to join MSM Trolak, Perak in June for an Induction Course in Commerce. Same college as Hubby but we did not talk to each other. I just knew him as my roommate's classmate and later, as President of Student Council. Still wearing spectacles..but with a metal frame this time..

5 years ago : 2000 (I was 23)
Back to Malaysia after studying in Melbourne, Australia for 3 years. In May, I got a job at BITMB (still here after 5 yrs!). Said goodbye to spectacles and hello to contact lenses!

3 years ago : 2002 (I was 25)
Engaged to dearest Hubby in January and the rest of the year was spent preparing for our wedding in January the subsequent year. We went through lots of engagement turbulence that year, with him adjusting to my way and me to his..Oh yes, we "donated" lots of money to Maxis in doing so..

Last year : 2004 (I was 27)
Gone thru 1st time pregnancy, labour pain and became a MOTHER! The most memorable year of my life. I was later promoted to become a Senior Executive at my Bank..Rezeki anak..

This year : 2005 (I am 28)
Anythg interesting this year? I guess this year is filled with me educating myself to become a good mother (plus a good wife). Oh yes, this year I started venturing into business, somethg I never thought of..Not until I got Ashraff. Create My Own Gift was set-up in May this year.

Next year : 2006 (Will be 29)
A lot of plans line-up for Create My Own Gift - new product, new affiliates etc. Hope it materialise. On family, perhaps another baby?

10 years from now : 2015 (will be 38)
A certified entreprenuer and working at home mother. Have children from both gender - boy and girl. Hopefully by then we have travelled to Europe..Oh yeah, by then I want to 'close shop' more babies..

Please continue this legacy, Nana, famygirl and zan..

Hope it's not too late to wish Malaysian "Happy Merdeka Day!"

The meaning of Merdeka for a one-year old

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

A new place...A new life..

Just got my internet connection today..and the first thing I want to do is BLOGGING!!

Well, I am now blogging from my new workstation at Level 11, Menara Bank Pembangunan. I reached the buiding at 7.50 a.m. yesterday, full of anxiety. Too worried till I could not find the entrance to the building! Actually, the ground floor of the building is under major renovation so they have to close the main entrance. And I lost my way to the alternative entrance! Just could not think straight. Thank God one Bank Pembangunan person is willing to lead me.

As I entered the building, I saw lots of familiar faces and I could feel that I am at ease. Nothing to worry Rafiqah!

Unlike BITMB where we have to clock-in at our designated floor, we only have to do it at Ground Floor, which is fair for everyone. Once I've swipe my access card, I entered my new office. Since it was rather early in the morning, the office was rather empty. Since there was a lot of empty cubicle, I had trouble finding mine. So, I asked a nice lady (the only person there at that time) and she showed me. My new workstation is rather shabby looking and way smaller than my good old cubicle. But I don't complaint much cause I know it is going to be temporary. By the end of this month, we are going to move to Ground Floor (the one that is currently renovated).

Then, I invited my new friend to have breakfast with me which she kindly turned down as she had hers already. So, here I am all alone, went to Level 10 to drink and there I met my ex-dept mate. Yippee!!

Sharp 8.30 a.m., I was back at my desk. What am I suppose to do? I do not have a phone and no access to PC network i.e. no email, no internet. I am doomed. But not for long..A kind man came and greeted me, and he asked me whether I was introduced to my Head. Since the answer is NO, he brought me and my collegue (from BITMB) to my boss' room. My boss was a tall man, probably in his 40s. An experienced man, I thought!

Then, he introduced me to the rest of my branch mate. On a whole, there's about 20 of us. Around 8 doing credit & marketing, 8 doing supervision, 3 doing Finance and 1 driver. One driver for one branch! Cool..Now, I don't have to rebut-rebut for a driver unlike before, where the whole Bank fought for the service of 3 pool drivers...aaahhh..a sigh of relief..

At around 10.30 a.m., we were called for a loan supervision section meeting, where my Boss, explained our target - Disbursement, Collection, Income and Follow-Up Report. My! That's a lot of job to be done! I'm geared up for the challenge.

Then, the rest of the day is all about reading policy (sampai berair2 mata sebab ngantuk) and then I visited my friends' dept. They have nicer partition I must say! It's ok Rafiqah, u'll get one soon..

Back at my office, we were treated with pisang goreng panas and flower-like popia. I was a bit shy-shy cat to join but they said there's no reason for me to be shy. In this branch, we are family, they said. We carry out our own activities like pot luck and family day. Different from HQ people. Wow! Impressive. They seem to have some kind of a branch spirit..and I am starting to fall in love with my new place and officemates!

Today, I was more suprised when my boss treated us for a free lunch at Pizza Hut. What?! I asked my new collegue, what was it all about..And they said, NONE! Boss likes to treat us every month. EVERY MONTH! Biar betul.. There goes my diet!

All in all, I guess it is not bad after all...I know that starting 1st Sept, I shall be loaded with lots of work...based on what my new collegues here have warned me. The manangement expects a lot from the branches as we are the main revenue center for the Bank. So, high expectation equals heavy workload. But if the working atmosphere is as friendly as it is now, I can be sure that I could tolerate such workload. For me, the most important is warm and happy working environment...This will motivate us to do our job well..and free lunch every month..That's a BONUS! Hehehe..

As at now, I'm so looking forward for public holiday tomorrow..Had enough of reading policies!!

Friday, August 26, 2005

The last few days at Level 26, BITMB..

On Thursday, 25th August 2005...

Sorting stuffs..

Box manufacturer must be smiling now..Sales for this month is up!

Some people just can't stop working!!

On Friday, 26th August 2005...

Continue a more casual way..

Hey..that's the camerawoman in yellow (i.e. ME!) , busy sorting out stuffs..

Me having fun despite the aching body..Ouch!

Looking deep into the memo of transfer..Apalah nasib ku hari Senin ni..

Having lunch together for the last the same building...

Me also wanna eat!

It is sad when..

It is sad have to leave the place that u have been working for almost 6 yrs.
It is sad have the feeling that you are going to miss your friends that you have been working with
It is sad are located in the Branch instead of HQ
It is sad when...everybody got its new cubicle number, except you..and found out that they somehow missed out your name
It is sad when...the moment you got the cubicle number, it tends out to be a cubicle for clerk, instead of exec's
It is sad when...we are laughing while packing stuffs and suddenly you remember that it is the last day we are together
It is sad realised the name that you always mentioned when someone asked where you are working, will no longer exist by 1st September
It is said ends this way..

From 1st September 2005 Rafiqah is going to move from Credit II Department (SMI Loans), Level 26, BITMB to Level 11, KL Branch, Loan Supervision Unit, SME Bank

Goodbye Bank Industri & Teknologi Malaysia Berhad..
Welcome SME Bank..

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah perjalanan hidup hamba Mu ini..Amin..

Thursday, August 25, 2005


Wednesday, 24/8/05 - Received email from Admin & Property department:-
Setiap kakitangan di peruntukkan 5 kotak seorang, dan setiap jabatan di peruntukkan 30 kotak (Untuk fail-fail jabatan). Fail-fail jabatan yang tidak dibawa bersama hendaklah diserahkan kepada Jabatan Pentadbiran & Harta untuk disimpan/ diserahkan kepada jabatan baru. Semua peralatan pejabat tidak dibawa bersama kecuali komputer dan printer peribadi.

At least I got my PC that contains 1001 valuable items (personal downloaded pics, articles, sample of faxes, letters, papers - all the 6 years of hard work..oh yeah, resume, resignation letter..hehehe..)
Some of us has started sorting, disposing the unwanted and packing the vital items inside the boxes.

Thursday, 25/8/05 - Continue packing..Boxes and scraps were everywhere. It was a massacre..
But some do continue working, finishing the important task before taking over a new job..

From Friday, 26/8/05 to Sunday, 28/8/05 - Transfer process will take place. All our stuffs will be transferred to our new place, either the building across-the-street or new level in the same building..

From Monday, 29/8/05 to Tuesday, 30/8/05 - Training will be given to our Bank's staff on the new policy and new job function..Oh yes, we are adopting to their policies and organizational structure. The victim will always be a victim..

Wednesday, 1/9/05 - Effective from this date, we are to undertake our position as stipulated in the Human Resource's letter..Tarikh Keramat tu..

Hope there's internet connection so I can continue blogging..

Monday, August 22, 2005

Waiting for the Unknown

22nd August 2005..hmmm..this is the day scheduled for each one of us to receive a letter, indicating where will we go after this..

As per my previous entry (you can read it here), my Bank has been taken over by another Bank. I am working in one of the development banks in Malaysia. Basically, the idea to merge between two development banks comes from the overlapping of products and services, using the same source of fund which mostly comes from the Government. In Budget 2005, the notion to set-up an SME Bank was brought up. This Bank is to cater for the Small and Medium Enterprise' funds requirement to enable them to expand and simultaneously, increase Malaysian economic status.

Thus, by merging two development banks, it could streamline the products to provide better service to the SMEs. With the overlapping of services and idea to set-up SME Bank, the across-the-street Bank has 'makan' our Bank and turn our Bank to SME Bank. Since they have staffs who handled SME accounts there, they shall be transferred to SME bank and the rest will join the parent company, which is to handled big corporate accounts like maritime and infrastructure. So they will be a lot of reshuffling going on..

So who to where? That is to be determined today. Each of our Bank's staff (including me!) will receive a letter. A letter to show us our future..
Since I'm into evaluating SME loans, BIG probability I'll be joining the SME Bank. But to which department and with whom? The answer to which is still unknown..and I hate waiting for the unknown..the conclusion is, I HAVE NO MOOD TO WORK TODAY!!


Updated at 5.45 p.m.:

Got the LETTER!

I am transferred to Loan Supervision Department for KL Branch!! What?? I hate, hate, hate the job. I hate doing 'ceti' work, kutip hutang here and there..
I have never done Loan Administration work before, but I know it involves working with problematic clients..which means no FREE LUNCH for me!
But then again, another side of me said life goes on..Just take the challenge! After all, this is just a secondment letter and I'm under evaluation. If I can't handle the job, they could transfer me to another department that I'm best in. Semuanya berserah kepadaNya..
But then, if only CreateMyOwnGift is stable enough so I could quit this job and become my own boss..ahhhh...

Friday, August 19, 2005

What's in for entertainment?

What would you do if you are trap in a confined space for X amount of time? This is how a one-year old lad entertain himself when his parent put him in his crib..

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Let me see..
1) A birthday cap from Tok Teh..embroidered with Ashraff's name ( idea for createmyowngift?)
2) A remote control..
3) A tamborine..
4) Ibu's mineral water??

The above could make him quiet for half and hour..

But after that, these are the looks he gave us..

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You really know how to make our hearts melt..

Tuesday, August 16, 2005


One fine day in the month of May, my office phone rang. From the ringing tone, i could tell it was an internal call..

"Hello Pn Rafiqah. I'm from Training Deparment. I just want to inform you that you are nominated for a course in Japan for two weeks. The course will be from 28th June to 16th July."

Wow! This is the first time in my 5 years service, I was offered the priviledge to attend an overseas course. It just took my breath away..Japan, the Land of the Rising Sun...hmmm..What do they have there? One thing for sure, they have the most advanced technie gadgets there..then they have Disneyland...then I know the people in Tokyo is fashion freak...BUT, I will have language difficulties, the food is non-halal (and I hate sushi!) and it is too pricey to shop. Oh whatever! It's a free holiday!

Opps, I'm still on the phone..

"Pn Rafiqah, we want to know your position as we want to get CEO's approval for the course"..

Sure! Anytime..

Then I waited, and waited..and NO news. What happened?

Then, one fine day, the news spread like CNN..The lady boss is to attend a course in Japan for two weeks!! What?? My heart broke into pieces. I know from then on the dream trip to Japan was merely..a dream. She, the lady boss, has 'HIJACKED' the course from me..As a boss, she has attended several overseas course, yet still find it insufficient and have the guts to steal away my precious free holiday. Selfish brat!

So life goes on..The whole thing was a blessing in disguise. Without Japan, I can witness Ashraff's first step, which I wouldn't want to trade for anythg!

Two months past..and one fine day in the middle of July, my phone rang..

"Pn Rafiqah, you are nominated for a two-week course in Istanbul, Turki. The course will start on 19th September. The best thing about this course is it's a half-day course, so you will have the evening to yourself.."

Turki..Europe! Relek..relek..don't get excited. Remember what happened last time? Yes I do.

But now, at this hour, my nomination to the course was approved by my CEO, training dept. has taken my passport details, I have received the flight schedule, and now waiting for the organiser in Turki to approve my attendance.

I can't really say that it is 100% guaranteed that I'll fly off to Turki as I know 'hijacking' can happen anytime, anywhere..Not until you have boarded the plane. Praying hard that it will go thru..At least, this time around, I'm going to a Muslim Europe..aaahhhh...

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Am I her?

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Which Desperate Housewife are you?

Is it so? From the description, I think I can live with that. Sounds not that desperate, hah? But then again, I don't watch the story due to time constraint (what channel and what time is it again?). Probably she's one desperate stay-at-home wife!

Thanks famygirl for giving me the link!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Smoke (Haze) Gets In Your Eyes.

This HAZE is killing me! I can feel the pain in my throat, a blocked nose and a teary eyes. Deary Hubby too. Thank God Ashraff is strong enough not to be suffocating in this bad condition.

Was it this bad the last time?

Few years ago, Malaysia was hit by the same phenomenon. I was in Australia at that time, still doing my degrees. I heard that we were advised to wear mask and not to go out from our house or office. Must be bad, I guess. Wish I was somewhere out of this hazey box, London perhaps..

Heiii..where's the mask that we wear when we carry the theme 'SARS Attack!' in my company's treasure hunt competition last two years? We won second place for The Best Costume. Found the gloves but the mask was nowhere to be seen...Wish it's still here so I can wear it to my trip to Sogo on our long Friday's lunch..

Ashraff's birthday party is this weekend. I don't feel good about it. Scared that most of my friends would prefer to stay at home during weekend due to this severe weather. Who would attend Ashraff's party then? Feel like postponing it to a later date. Will discuss with hubby and mak & abah tonite. See if we can do it indoor instead. Hope Mak won't mind her carpet and sofa being smudged with dirty little hands...

Rain, Rain, Please come and Take the Haze away..

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Memento of a One-Year old Ashraff.

Flu bug has attacked the family. I'm on MC yeterday and now hubby's turn. I hope Ashraff has strong antibody or else he'll make his Ibu a lot more miserable - with sleepless nite of course!

Here's some of Ashraff's photos taken on the day he becomes a toddler..

Looking rather disturbed when we interrupted him while he's busy picking up the grass..

A candidate of grandpa-grandson look alike contest. Not only they look the same, but they seems to be sharing the same interest..

Busy running around in the backyard..Look at his face, full of excitement on God knows what!

Birthday boy - sleeping soundly..

Friday, August 05, 2005

It's Ashraff BIG day!!

Today my beloved Ashraff has turned ONE!! He's a big boy now. He can walk (or should I say run!), can make lots of noises, can associate lots of word with action for e.g will wave goodbye when we say 'bye-bye', can do 'Ali Cafe' action, will cover both ears with his hands when he hears the 'Azan', will look up at the ceiling if we say 'Lizard', or tried to open the curtain with his small hands when we say 'Bird', will raise his hands when we say 'Who's Ashraff?'. What a milestone!

NO WAIT!! He's not ONE yet..Not at this time of the day. He'll only turned ONE at 9.47 p.m. tonite. That reminds me I have to set an alarm at my handphone so that it will prompt me to wish Ashraff HAPPY BIRTHDAY with lots of hugs and kisses at 9.47 pm sharp tonite!

Where were I at this time last year? Oh yeah, I was in the labour room, playing game from my Nokia phone. I was dilated for about 4 cm, but I can still stand the pain. The Nurse kept on asking me "Tak sakit ke dik? Boleh main handphone lagi..Water bag dah pecah dah ni..We have put you on drip..Want some epidural?". The last question is totally off. No pain and yet asked me whether I need an epidural?? Trained drug pusher, i thought.

Then the real pain came at about 7 pm and above. Ooohhh..aahhhhhs...Sakit yang..sakit yang.."Pakai oksigen tu dik, kurang sikit sakit" Tak jalanlah kak!! I screamed. Fitri continued to recite doa and I followed him with my shakey voice. He's such a good companion. I guess the antenatal class really teached him on what to do in the labour room. But thank God that it lasted for only 2 hours before our first baby by the name of Ashraff Mohd Fitri was born.

The sound of his cry and the sound of my good old Bilal 'mengazankan' our baby was such a beautiful sight. The whole day of last year is somethg that I will never forget. It's the day when I became a Mother...

Thursday, August 04, 2005

One Day to go..

Been rather busy this week but have to find time to write in my beloved blog. Why? Because tomorrow is Ashraff's 1st birthday and I know I have to record this. Seriously, I have mixed feelings about him turning ONE - sad, happy, excited.

Last year, at this time, I was at Ampang Puteri Specialist Hospital, enjoying my meal (they have great food there!), no pain whatsoever. Yeah, I was admitted one day earlier due to my high BP. Very risky, Dr Jemilah said. So, the whole of the day, was spent lying down, sleep (but tido2 ayam one) and watching TV. Different nurse came and checked on my BP and baby's heart beat (I still remember one nurse told me that my baby was asleep as she could tell from the sound of the heart beat. That was around 11 am. How sweet!).

Despite being treated like a queen (I would prefer a princess!) in the hospital, I was a bit annoyed with the whole check-up procedure. I feel like asking them to check on my heart beat instead as I can feel like it is beating really fast. It's like waiting for a time bomb to explode. When will I feel the contraction? When will this baby come out? What is the pain like? Am I strong enough to go through this?

Only at around 10 p.m. that night, I could feel the slight discomfort, more like a period pain. When I told hubby about it, he helped me to apply the minyak selusuh at my big tummy and asked me to drink air selusuh. We slept together that night on the single bed, hugging each other, with our hands on my tummy hoping that our bundle of joy will be born tomorrow.

The rest will be updated tomorrow...

Friday, July 29, 2005

Jambatan roboh lagi??

I don't know why that sometimes I can be too sensitive. Sometimes I can swallow all the jokes, sarcastic words or harsh words dumped at me. But sometimes, a small thing can be a BIG factor to me.

That's what happened between me and my guy collegue here. There were few times when the bridge between us just collapsed, all work related. I guess my sensitiveness at that time blows the hell out of me. So, when he tried to ask me somethg after that, I just snapped at him. So, from there I guess he knows I'm boiling mad at him. A very small matter when I think of it, but my bad temperament had causes the London Bridge to fall down. U can ask Bro Frank on this, dia dah masak ngan perangai I..kan Bro Frank?

He tried to send me few funny-funny emails to make amend thing. But I couldn't be bothered to reply. Eventhough I've calmed myself down, I guess ego has taken its place. Then, I took a drastic step and wrote an email, voicing out my dissatisfaction in a harsh way. So immature of me!

I hate this 'jambatan roboh' situation, either with close friends, collegues or anybody! What's my next course of action? Wanted to talk to him face to face at first, but seriously I'm not good at it. I can be too emotional, or even cry (I dont want to do that infront of a male collegue!) and I'm scared that situation might be worse by facing him 'live'. So, I decided to wrote him an email to apology for sending him such harsh email. I guess email (or anythg written for that matter) is the best way of communicating your feelings especially when situation like this occur. I always do that with Bro Frank too when we had argument and it worked out well. So, there goes an email to, waiting for his reply, if ever he will..


He replied my email. Yey! Phewwwwhhh..I've been expecting this to come. As a friend, he did give me some piece of advice (with such a powerful choice of word..I dont know that he's English is so damn good!). If he was to give his piece of mind 'live', I might be crying infront of him now..Darnnn..

Basically, what he told me, Bro Frank has countlessly told me. And most of the things he said, I already know. As a reminder, I guess I'll list some of the things here (so Bro Frank could read too):-

1. "What goes around comes around". To use strong remark to others may result in such unpleasant circumstances towards ourself and that's why we have to really think hard before accusing others of such thing. True enough! It doesn't make us feel good

2. In this world, no matter how hard we try, we may never get all that we wanted. So, accepting what we have or don't have is a virtue of life.

3. Accepting others as what they are like what u want others to accept u as what u are. Sometimes, if we have to bite our toungue, step back into the shadow and swallow our pride in order to avoid conflicts or hurt feeling of others, so let it be.

4. Life is complicate if we wanted it to be, and life will be so beautiful if we can start the day with a smile. I like this!

So, I guess that's it! He said what he have to say. Eventhough it's like a knife thru my heart, I took it positively.

To my collegue (if he's reading this), I can't promise there will be no jambatan roboh lagi after this. But, on my part, I'll do my best to avoid such unnecessary conflicts. Senang cerita, sabarlah sikit Rafiqah. Bro Frank dah several times remind u that, but u never learn, do u?

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I will miss them..

Department meeting is over. New tasks, new deadlines *sigh*. Motivation is at zero level. Our Bank is in the verge of merging with another bank, just across the street. It's not actually merge but more of a takeover. One Bank will become the subsidiary of the other. And our Bank is the victim. Rumours spread that we have to move to the other bank's building. I am going to miss our current building, especially the toilet. TOILET? Yes, toilet. Our building has luxurious toilets, like those in 5-star hotels, most outsiders commented. With concealed lighting, black marble, and England imported kepala paip. It's superb clean u can even sleep in the toilet if u r too sleepy. It's also my milk factory where I installed my 'milk production line' during my breastfeeding day.

I've been to our neighbour's building. Nothing compared to ours. I will miss our building if we have to move. Goodbye nice toilet!!


Yesterday, hubby's officemates did a farewell dinner for him at Level 6, Sogo..and I was invited. Who doesn't like free food. Yey! and it's Chinese..yummylicious! We were seated at a 'VIP' table - VIP because the big boss was there. We had a fruitful discussion during dinner. We started of with investment topic - use other people's money, real estate (Robert Kiyosaki's stuff) and unit trusts. Then we move on to current issues - Mahallil being kicked out from Proton (poor guy, he's jobless now! Will he become our new CEO for the new merged bank?)..etc, etc,etc. Did not join much..busy enjoying my meal..hehehe..

Then hubby had to give his farewell speech. To my suprise (and others too!), he took out a piece of paper with his speech printed on it. Remarks made by his pal "Ingat Oscar ke ni?", "Jangan lupa email kat kitaorang speech kau tu"..We had a good laugh. And it was an excellent speech (I wonder when he find time to come out with such speech).

Then, came the gift-giving ceremony. His big boss handed him a gift box, contributed by all his department mates. He was forced to open the box. Here's what he got...

It is an original England's jersey printed with IAD KGB (Internal Audit Department, Kumpulan Guthrie Berhad)!! It must have cost a fortune. Hubby's grinning from ear to ear now. He wanted that jersey so much and now he got it! Boy, am I glad to see he is happy!

As soon as we reached home, he tried the jersey on. And here's what he said "Ada macam Beckham tak?" Helllooooo..perasan kinda guy!! And another one "I think I should do this often..jump from one place to the other so I could collect farewell gift as good as this"..hahaha..

I wish hubby all the best at his new place, starting 1st August 2005. Eventhough it might not be a greener pasture, don't worry, I'll be on your side..And I know I'll miss all his good friends at KGB.

So dear, what am I suppose to do with your jersey? Wash them? Hang them? Or put them inside your bag for another futsal game?

Monday, July 25, 2005

Welcome to the club!

This weekend, two of my closest friends (in different area - one in office and another one, my primary and secondary pal) have entered into a different chapter in life:-

Suriati - from a wife to a mother on 23rd July 2005.
Welcome to motherhood!! People said becoming a mother changed your life. Indeed!! Be prepared for a prolonged sleep deprivation (equivalent to panda eye in the morning). Be prepared to be in the limelight when your child screamed on top of his lung in the middle of a crowded shopping complex. Be prepared to go through the rough journey of breastfeeding. Be prepared to be FAT!! (that's what I'm going thru now..fat control alert!!)

But at the same time, its worthwhile. It teaches u to become more creative - becoming a clown, song composer and candidate of malaysian idol just to make your baby stop crying. It brings you back to your old childhood memory (u can see that I'm trying hard to remember all the good songs in my previous blog entry). It makes you closer to your own mother. Your baby makes you laugh even in bad times. Your baby makes you cry as it touches your heart with his warm smile. His just-wake-up-from-bed smell is the best perfume in the world (even my estee lauder perfume couldn't beat that!). Oh my, I'm missing my Ashraff now!!

To Sue and beloved hubby, congratulations! You have been waiting for almost two years for him to come..Now that he's here, enjoy his company!! Oh yeah, enjoy your two-months leave too, meaning which I might be taking over some of your job..Darn..

Izreen - from single to a wife on 23rd July 2005
Congratulations Mrs Corp Tai-Tai and her Other Half!! It was a lovely wedding reception and me & hubby really enjoyed it (your mum is an excellent wedding planner..kalah J.Lo!). You look extremely beautiful in the creamy gold wedding dress (and slimmer too!)

What can I say about the and her have come a long way. We were classmates since Standard One up till Form Three. I tried to escape from her, but just can't! People always associate the bride as being a domineering, and trying hard to be in the centre of attention gal and at school, we were ashamed of being related to her. When I got to know she's my bau-bau bacang relative, it gave me that creepy feeling..hahaha..

Izreen, Izreen..Despite of whatever people said bout her, she is such a kind-hearted lady. She's a helpful friend, full of spirit, positive minded, which in the end made me feel lucky and proud to become one of her friends. And I'm sure she could be an isteri Mithali to her Other Half. What a lucky guy Nizar is to be married to her!! And thanks for being a good friend (and sedara) to me all these years!!

Ehem, ehem..Fina, are u deleting Izreen's no from you hp now that she's married? U remember what u told me at my wed reception last time..hahaha..