Jambatan roboh lagi??

I don't know why that sometimes I can be too sensitive. Sometimes I can swallow all the jokes, sarcastic words or harsh words dumped at me. But sometimes, a small thing can be a BIG factor to me.

That's what happened between me and my guy collegue here. There were few times when the bridge between us just collapsed, all work related. I guess my sensitiveness at that time blows the hell out of me. So, when he tried to ask me somethg after that, I just snapped at him. So, from there I guess he knows I'm boiling mad at him. A very small matter when I think of it, but my bad temperament had causes the London Bridge to fall down. U can ask Bro Frank on this, dia dah masak ngan perangai I..kan Bro Frank?

He tried to send me few funny-funny emails to make amend thing. But I couldn't be bothered to reply. Eventhough I've calmed myself down, I guess ego has taken its place. Then, I took a drastic step and wrote an email, voicing out my dissatisfaction in a harsh way. So immature of me!

I hate this 'jambatan roboh' situation, either with close friends, collegues or anybody! What's my next course of action? Wanted to talk to him face to face at first, but seriously I'm not good at it. I can be too emotional, or even cry (I dont want to do that infront of a male collegue!) and I'm scared that situation might be worse by facing him 'live'. So, I decided to wrote him an email to apology for sending him such harsh email. I guess email (or anythg written for that matter) is the best way of communicating your feelings especially when situation like this occur. I always do that with Bro Frank too when we had argument and it worked out well. So, there goes an email to him..now, waiting for his reply, if ever he will..

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He replied my email. Yey! Phewwwwhhh..I've been expecting this to come. As a friend, he did give me some piece of advice (with such a powerful choice of word..I dont know that he's English is so damn good!). If he was to give his piece of mind 'live', I might be crying infront of him now..Darnnn..

Basically, what he told me, Bro Frank has countlessly told me. And most of the things he said, I already know. As a reminder, I guess I'll list some of the things here (so Bro Frank could read too):-

1. "What goes around comes around". To use strong remark to others may result in such unpleasant circumstances towards ourself and that's why we have to really think hard before accusing others of such thing. True enough! It doesn't make us feel good

2. In this world, no matter how hard we try, we may never get all that we wanted. So, accepting what we have or don't have is a virtue of life.

3. Accepting others as what they are like what u want others to accept u as what u are. Sometimes, if we have to bite our toungue, step back into the shadow and swallow our pride in order to avoid conflicts or hurt feeling of others, so let it be.

4. Life is complicate if we wanted it to be, and life will be so beautiful if we can start the day with a smile. I like this!

So, I guess that's it! He said what he have to say. Eventhough it's like a knife thru my heart, I took it positively.

To my collegue (if he's reading this), I can't promise there will be no jambatan roboh lagi after this. But, on my part, I'll do my best to avoid such unnecessary conflicts. Senang cerita, sabarlah sikit Rafiqah. Bro Frank dah several times remind u that, but u never learn, do u?

I will miss them..

Department meeting is over. New tasks, new deadlines *sigh*. Motivation is at zero level. Our Bank is in the verge of merging with another bank, just across the street. It's not actually merge but more of a takeover. One Bank will become the subsidiary of the other. And our Bank is the victim. Rumours spread that we have to move to the other bank's building. I am going to miss our current building, especially the toilet. TOILET? Yes, toilet. Our building has luxurious toilets, like those in 5-star hotels, most outsiders commented. With concealed lighting, black marble, and England imported kepala paip. It's superb clean u can even sleep in the toilet if u r too sleepy. It's also my milk factory where I installed my 'milk production line' during my breastfeeding day.

I've been to our neighbour's building. Nothing compared to ours. I will miss our building if we have to move. Goodbye nice toilet!!

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Yesterday, hubby's officemates did a farewell dinner for him at Level 6, Sogo..and I was invited. Who doesn't like free food. Yey! and it's Chinese..yummylicious! We were seated at a 'VIP' table - VIP because the big boss was there. We had a fruitful discussion during dinner. We started of with investment topic - use other people's money, real estate (Robert Kiyosaki's stuff) and unit trusts. Then we move on to current issues - Mahallil being kicked out from Proton (poor guy, he's jobless now! Will he become our new CEO for the new merged bank?)..etc, etc,etc. Did not join much..busy enjoying my meal..hehehe..

Then hubby had to give his farewell speech. To my suprise (and others too!), he took out a piece of paper with his speech printed on it. Remarks made by his pal "Ingat Oscar ke ni?", "Jangan lupa email kat kitaorang speech kau tu"..We had a good laugh. And it was an excellent speech (I wonder when he find time to come out with such speech).

Then, came the gift-giving ceremony. His big boss handed him a gift box, contributed by all his department mates. He was forced to open the box. Here's what he got...

It is an original England's jersey printed with IAD KGB (Internal Audit Department, Kumpulan Guthrie Berhad)!! It must have cost a fortune. Hubby's grinning from ear to ear now. He wanted that jersey so much and now he got it! Boy, am I glad to see he is happy!

As soon as we reached home, he tried the jersey on. And here's what he said "Ada macam Beckham tak?" Helllooooo..perasan kinda guy!! And another one "I think I should do this often..jump from one place to the other so I could collect farewell gift as good as this"..hahaha..

I wish hubby all the best at his new place, starting 1st August 2005. Eventhough it might not be a greener pasture, don't worry, I'll be on your side..And I know I'll miss all his good friends at KGB.

So dear, what am I suppose to do with your jersey? Wash them? Hang them? Or put them inside your bag for another futsal game?

Welcome to the club!

This weekend, two of my closest friends (in different area - one in office and another one, my primary and secondary pal) have entered into a different chapter in life:-

Suriati - from a wife to a mother on 23rd July 2005.
Welcome to motherhood!! People said becoming a mother changed your life. Indeed!! Be prepared for a prolonged sleep deprivation (equivalent to panda eye in the morning). Be prepared to be in the limelight when your child screamed on top of his lung in the middle of a crowded shopping complex. Be prepared to go through the rough journey of breastfeeding. Be prepared to be FAT!! (that's what I'm going thru now..fat control alert!!)

But at the same time, its worthwhile. It teaches u to become more creative - becoming a clown, song composer and candidate of malaysian idol just to make your baby stop crying. It brings you back to your old childhood memory (u can see that I'm trying hard to remember all the good songs in my previous blog entry). It makes you closer to your own mother. Your baby makes you laugh even in bad times. Your baby makes you cry as it touches your heart with his warm smile. His just-wake-up-from-bed smell is the best perfume in the world (even my estee lauder perfume couldn't beat that!). Oh my, I'm missing my Ashraff now!!

To Sue and beloved hubby, congratulations! You have been waiting for almost two years for him to come..Now that he's here, enjoy his company!! Oh yeah, enjoy your two-months leave too, meaning which I might be taking over some of your job..Darn..

Izreen - from single to a wife on 23rd July 2005
Congratulations Mrs Corp Tai-Tai and her Other Half!! It was a lovely wedding reception and me & hubby really enjoyed it (your mum is an excellent wedding planner..kalah J.Lo!). You look extremely beautiful in the creamy gold wedding dress (and slimmer too!)

What can I say about the bride..me and her have come a long way. We were classmates since Standard One up till Form Three. I tried to escape from her, but just can't! People always associate the bride as being a domineering, and trying hard to be in the centre of attention gal and at school, we were ashamed of being related to her. When I got to know she's my bau-bau bacang relative, it gave me that creepy feeling..hahaha..

Izreen, Izreen..Despite of whatever people said bout her, she is such a kind-hearted lady. She's a helpful friend, full of spirit, positive minded, which in the end made me feel lucky and proud to become one of her friends. And I'm sure she could be an isteri Mithali to her Other Half. What a lucky guy Nizar is to be married to her!! And thanks for being a good friend (and sedara) to me all these years!!

Ehem, ehem..Fina, are u deleting Izreen's no from you hp now that she's married? U remember what u told me at my wed reception last time..hahaha..

Start 'processing'?

Last few days my sis went back to our house (she stays in Wangsa Maju). She said she misses her nephew so much so she had to go back home. Ye ke ni? Ke mintak duit ngan mak? Sis, sorry if u happen to drop by my blog and read this:)

While playing with Ashraff, she made this remark,"Kak Ija, Ashraff ni dah semakin aktif. Tak lama lagi dah takde bau baby. I think u better start producing another one." Huh? The way she put it like so selamba..like making another baby and delivering it is as easy as brushing your teeth.

Well, I LOVE being pregnant! The one I had with Ashraff was an easy one. People said I look a lot healthier and my face glowed. Me even dragged hubby to a professional photo studio to capture the precious moment on camera..that was when I'm 7 mths pregnant..kiasu me!! Waaahhh, posing macam model lagi..but a preggie one lah. The photo turned out to be so nice that hubby thot he looks like Brad Pitt (helllooo..).

Labour was not bad too. One time push and out came Ashraff. He's one active baby and helped me a lot during the labour. U know people said that when u feel the labour pain, just remember that your baby is helping you by putting his best effort to get out from the oh-so-dark and oh-so-narrow-space. By remembering this and Allah, that makes my labour a lot easier.

And I also miss the first breastfeeding moment with Ashraff. Eventho it's not an easy one, but it felt good feeling his soft skin touches u while he looks at you as if you are the most perfect creature on earth. Gosh, i'm being melodramatic here!

Oh yes, if u ask me, I do look forward for another one. Wanted to produce as many as possible (are u sure?) as I want to have a big happy family. But quantity without quality is useless. Hope I'll be able to have both, quantity and quality..

-Rafiqah, who is currently imagining she's surrounded by her children and cucus..at Hari Raya gathering perhaps..ahaks!!-

Strolling down memory lane..

There has been numerous postings on classical nursery rhymes and lagu2 tradisional melayu at UKS yahoogroup lately. One member suggested the song "Under the Rainbow". Reading her post reminded me of my good old school days where we used to sing that song together with some actions (do u remember, BBGSians?). I can remember the action clearly now (but don't know how to describe it) but how about the song??

I can't remember the lyrics!! The melody keeps on playing in my head for the past few days but the lyrics is totally off..It's driving me nuts!!

Please fellow friends, if any of u could give me a light on this..

I can only remember few lines (or should i say word).."Under the rainbow, under the sea, bang, bang, bang..you are my *blank*, you are my *blank*..bla, bla, bla..and have a family, under the rainbow, under the sea, bang, bang, bang"..

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Added on 21 July 2005 at 8.51 a.m.:

Another song now in my head..Ola Oli..

Ola Oli, diberi nama, Patanda Patande..bla, bla, bla..sape yg baik hati? Cinderella, then we have miau, miau, ali baba etc..

I guess I've lost my childhood touch along the way - college, university, working life. And it's pretty hard for me to recall all the games, songs and rhymes I had in those days. But I still remember some like galah panjang, main getah, batu seremban..Oh yeah, i remember another one here..

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? No 7 stole the cookie from the cookie jar..Not me (ye ke ni?)..Yes you..Couldn't be..than who?..No 1 stole the cookie from the cookie jar..and it continues..But how does it end? *sigh*

Financial Management???

Ok, just did my budget for the month of August (for July's salary)and it was terrible!! I ran out of budget!!

WHY??

Ok, it's basically due to significant Credit Card's balance. Have to admit, I spend a lot end of last month and this month and the payment is due on 28th July. I spent on clothing for my annual dinner, I also bought a lovely chiffon and sutera batik from ctredzuan, contact lense, then I did my pap smear at Naluri (had a bad menstrual flow since Ashraff is born, but that's a another story), had a haircut at KLCC (are u nuts?? u know it's pricey there!), did facial at Angie's (my first facial after Ashraff's born) and the normal installment (focus point, HSL etc). It costs me a bomb!! Yeah, have to admit, I perasan jadi orang kaya sekejap (haircut in KLCC, chiffon and batik sutera) but that's it!! Now, I have to fork up extra money or perhaps withdraw money from my fixed savings to pay my debts.

Well, I can always pay the minimum amount for c.card but I'm not that type. I'm the type yg suka repay in full sebab what's the use of saving if you have debt that cost you more interest?? But, I cant afford to do so this month!!

Then, in August, I have to allocate for Ashraff's birthday, the normal bills and house maintenance fee, money to mak abah, food, tol, lrt and car's loan (wira). Totaling all this, my saving for August is NIL!!!

Ok, u might be asking, how Fitri's come into place..Well, he has lots of other things to take care of..Our food, minyak kereta, tol, car maintenance, travelling expenses (u know what it's like to travel to Johor), money to support his family, money to my parent and the latest addition, bibik's salary (started this month) and car loan installment for our brand new MPV (this is why I have to pay for Wira's installment)!!

Now, I am hoping for bonus to come in (still havent got our 2004's bonus) so I could settle all my c.card balance and reduce my spending thereon. If not, consider August is a gone case. Now for September, hope there's light at the end of the tunnel. But Fitri, Mak and Ana's birthday is in September and gift for them? Will i run out of budget in September?? Not again!!!

It's two weeks to 'D' day!!

It's two weeks to Ashraff's first bday!! What should I do? Where shall I start? We haven't started anythg? Asked mak the other day, she asked me to do kenduri kesyukuran and aqiqah at mak pontian's house. And then only have a simple bday party at her house. And that's it?? No other ideas from her. I thot she'll be so excited, siapkan itu ini, bought this and that. But NO, she just kept quiet. So unlike her..

Oklah, probably she wants me to organise the special event on my own sebab all these while she always be the master mind - for my wedding, ashraff's potong jambul and all. Ok, i'll take the challenge. After all, Ashraff's my precious baby and I should organise some things rather than leaving it to mak to do it.

So, back to square one. Where shall I start? I tried to look-up in the internet for some guidance and found this interesting guideline.

Ok, I have very limited budget for the party so I have to minimise cost as much as I can. Here are basically some of my plans as at todate:-

Birthday cake
I'll order some custom-made cake from sis Nadia, that's a must!

Party Favors
I've contacted famygirl for some advice as she has her own event management business. And kalau susah2 sgt, just purchase the party packs from her. Or else, where can I get good and cheap party packs? If I were to do my own, what should I include in the pack?

Birthday Theme
Wanted to have bday theme sebab macam senang sikit nak organise. But Fitri disagree coz he said Ashraff cant appreciate it. He said if u want to have a theme, the preparation might be expensive. What do u think?

Games or Activities
Chulah and Uncle Raymie used to comeout with lots of activities for Ameer and Ammar's bday but they're big boys and Ashraff is only 1 yo!! So? Should we organise some activities for his party? I dont think so coz I want to make it as fast as possible coz Ashraff might be tired and creates tantrums.

Venue
Thought of having it at our house, poolside perhaps. But Fitri told me it's very hard for us to monitor Ashraff, who's going to go into the pool and take care of him. Kalau dia nak kat org lain, ok jugak. If he's a bigger, then that's fine. I'll have to agree to that. So, mak abah's placelah, mana lagi.

Date
Probably 14th August. 6th August nak buat Aqiqah kat mak pontian's house. Not confirmed as yet. How's that?

What to eat?
Depends on the time. I can perhaps cook spaghetti or do some normal bihun goreng. Ayam goreng ke..ala, the normal food. Unless, mak wants to get nasi briyani with lauk pauk etc. I guess I have to discuss with mak and abah on this.

Ok, by writing this down, I think I have some idea on how to go about. Will start with the party pack firstlah, in case I want to make it a bit special or wants it personalized.

Phewww..hope Ashraff is in a good mood that day. Since his nap time is unpredictable, it's pretty hard to gauge his mood. Will keep updated on the progress.

Body and Skin Well Advisor

Yesterday, I met a sweet lady who came to our house to pick-up the personalized book she ordered for her son. I've talked to her few times over the phone but yesterday we finally met. She's is a full time working mom to 8 mo baby boy. She also does part-time business as body and skin well advisor. Sounds interesting yeah?!

Yes. it is! She basically does image consultancy for corporate/organisations. What u should wear? How to do your make-up? Your tudung? Your choice of colours? Wow! I'm impressed. U know me lah, I like all these beauty thingy. She also does make-up for photoshoot. U know sometimes we are uncomfortable to have a make-over in the centre of a busy shopping complex. Well, her company could do the make-over behind close-door and she and her partners are all ladies..So good for 'tudung'ians like myself!

I always wanted to learn how to do make-up professionally but the time (and probably the money) is limited. So, niat tu terkubur lah..maybe one day, i will take up a short course on this one since that is somethg I like to do. Not to say, I'm going to venture into make-up business (I am comfortable with Create My Own Gift now), but probably just for my own satisfaction.

Back to the sweet lady I met, perhaps I can use her service one day..kalau free lagi cun..*hint, hint*

Where are all these things??

On Saturday, I've discovered that I misplaced two things which I considered valuable. One is my handbag, the one I brought everyday to work (my black Giamax handbag!!). For the whole last week, I wore my bag hantaran to work as I couldn't find my normal bag on Monday. So, on Saturday, I decided to search for it. Tapi tak jumpa!! Frustnyeee...Mungkin I lupa nak bawak balik masa tukar baju kat ofis for my annual dinner so someone else might have found it last week and took it. Tapi I'm confident I took it back home but if yes, where is it???

Then, while packing Ashraff's bag to go back to our house in Cheras, I could not find his swimming diaper. I searched everywhere and at that time I broke down in tears sebab frustrated coz tak jumpa dua benda dalam satu masa. The diaper might have terselit somewhere.

My, how careless I am!! I should have take care of everythg immediately. Like in this case, immediately lepas balik dari annual dinner, I should have make sure I put everythg in place before settle down in bed. Same goes for the diaper. I should make sure that the diaper is washed and kept in Ashraff's cupboard. I have to be organized. Somethg that Fitri has kept on reminding me tapi knowing me, sikit2 lupa.

Now, that these two precious things hilang, I rasa terkilan sesangat. I can buy that thing again tapi the feeling and excitement will never be the same again. In fact, rasa macam membazir sgt2.

The same thing I felt when Fitri lost his jam tangan hantaran...Baru skang I can accept it and dont mind buying him a new watch (kalau ada duit lebihlah:)

The First Step

Yesterday, witnessed by myself, my mother and father, aunty uda, tina & tini, toklon and najip, Ashraff made his very first step. Actually it's four steps in a row before he fell down. Knowing Ashraff, he's a 'mengelupur' kinda guy (people say that follows Fitri..hehe) so the steps looks like a terlajak kinda thing instead of a normal wobbly kinda steps. But I'm very impressed and delighted to see his development. And too bad I did not have my video cam on. And Fitri is not there to witness such wonderful event.

But I did make a call to Fitri immediately and he sounded happy but at the same time I know that he's disspointed for not being there when it happens. Alaaa..he can always see it someother time. He'll do it more often soon..But then again, nothing compares to the 'first'..

I've missed lots of Ashraff's 'first' moment being a full time working mom but having to see he made his first step was among the best things that ever happened in my life. Cheers!

Ashraff's milestone and photos.

At the age of 11 months, Ashraff can stand on his own..Although it's still very wobbly, but he managed to get up easier now. Look at the satisfaction on his face when he managed to stand up!!

Oh yes, he's also very bubbly..lots of 'baby talk' coming from his mouth. Few days ago, he made a new sound - 'eh?', followed by a very suprise look. So very adorable!!


Here are some other pictures taken on 5th July, the day Ashraff's turned 11 months:-



In a car, on the way back from fetching his Ibu from Jelatek station..So the very sleepy Ashraff...



Inside Carrefour's shopping trolley..Still very very sleepy tapi jalan punye pasal, he doesn't make a sound..




Ashraff watching the TV with one of his 'bear-bear'. It's commercial time..that's why his eyes is glued to the TV!!



Have loads of other pictures taken but don't have the time to post it here..Lunch time is over!! Back to work..

Lucky her!!!

PETALING JAYA: It was his film-making instinct that made actor Norman Hakim reach for his handphone to record the first few moments of the birth of his second child.
He was driving his actress wife Abby Abadi to the maternity clinic in Taman Melawati on Saturday morning when she started experiencing labour pains at 10am.
He stopped the car by the roadside and moments later Marissa Dania arrived.
Holding the baby girl in one hand, Norman reached for his handphone and used its camera to snap pictures of her.

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Isn't she lucky? To have such a smooth and easy delivery? And oh yes, to marry such a cool husband who can handle such situation (I wonder if my hubby can)? But sometimes when we are in a desperate situation, we have no choice but to play an active role. Just like in Norman Hakim's case. But all in all, to deliver baby in car with hubby's name as midwife? That's awesome!!! And Abby Abadi is indeed one very lucky woman!!

Your 11-month-old's development

An email I got from Babycenter.com:-

Has your baby formed a strong attachment to a stuffed toy or a soft blanket? If he has, be thankful. Such transitional objects or 'cuddlies' will help give him a feeling of security as he develops emotionally in the months and years to come. When you're not around, it will comfort him. Not all children feel inclined to adopt a cuddly, but if yours does, by all means, encourage it! It can be a good idea to have two identical objects and rotate them regularly. That way you can wash one easily and you have a replacement in case one gets lost or left behind. You can even cut blankets in half (if you do it at this age, he won't even notice the change in size).

Comments by myself:
Not really!! But he loves to 'sayang-sayang' cuddly toys..Look at the picture I took yesterday:-




See?! But I can't really say that he's attached to the toy coz he can make do without. But he can't make do without his 'ting' (pacifier). Only that can tone him down from all the wailing and what not. No wonder it's called pacifier..I think I have problem of weaning him off from that thing..How aaa??

11 months old.

Today Ashraff has turned 11 months old. Dah besar dah..tak lama lagi nak kawin (hehehe...Fitri always cakap macam ni). Tonite, after almost two weeks restless in bed, Ashraff slept thru the nite. Yey!! I guess for the past two weeks, he's teething (the 4th round) as he's always woke-up every one to two hours when it comes to teething. But thank God, it doesn't come with fever this time around unlike the previous one where he caught a high fever on the day of Mothers' Day itself!! And it's my first Mother's Day!!

But, I left our digital camera in the office so I have to go back 5.30 sharp today to capture his picture on this day, just like every other 5th of the month. Fitri is outstation (again) to Sg Petani (again). So, it's all on me coz no one at the house knows how to operate digital cam.

So long..have to prepare something for BICC meeting today. Got rejection proposal to table. Hope it goes thru!! If not, I'll be like %#%$*&^ coz I have to propose otherwise..Darnnn..

My First Day..

Hi! This is my first day blogging..Boy, am i clueless about blogging? Heard about it billionth time but would not make a move to know more and start my own blog..Thanks to MyMomsBest's forum (www.mymomsbest.com/forum), finally my heart is open to one..

Phewww..where shall I start? Should I start by introducing myself? Me, I've just turned 28 y.o last 28th June 2005. Married to beloved hubby, Mohd Fitri and blessed with one adorable baby boy, Ashraff.

Since he was born, I'm so looking forward to every 5th of the month..why? coz he turns a new month every 5th!! Tomorrow he'll turn 11 months old..How time flies! I can be sure that my blog will be full of his stories as he's one funny little guy, just like my hubby..

Lately, I've been thinking about his 1st birthday party..what theme? venue? date? My Mak has been asking me about it too..Knowing her, she'll do anything for her very first cucu..'Head scratching and pulling hair' moment again...