'Epidemic'

I can't refrain myself from blogging. That's how addicted I am to this blogging world. Hmmm...

Ok. The scratching-head-and-pulling-hair-session at the office is finally over. Now I can breathe. Temporarily that is. I know my boss is just giving me the space to breathe a little before he starts overloading me with work again. Things are never the same again around here. Not until we get a replacement for a collegue of mine who just left the company for greater opportunity outside. And also another collegue who just took an unpaid leave for one month, followed immediately by 2 months maternity leave (and she doubt whether she'll ever return to the office). To top the pressure that is fuming here, another collegue is tendering for resignation end of this week. So, we are short-handed here. Very short-handed. Of course, the unfortunate ones like us are being pressurized to take up the portfolios of the resign staffs. Sakit tenat. And we do not know how long this will last *sigh*.

People moving out from the company is not the only 'epidemic' which took place in the office lately. Another 'epidemic' is a situation which I labelled as "Jambatan Roboh" - a situation where there were miscommunications among collegues leaving them not communicating to each other. Hmmmm...

What can I say about this?

I was one of those people who involved in this office conflict before. It all happened six years ago, the year I started working right after my graduation. I have to admit I was naive when I first entered the corporate world. Not only I was experience-less, I was also clueless about office politics. And the best part was, I thought everyone was a good-hearted, transparent, open minded and trustworthy soul. Little did I know that some people are back-stabbers, talam dua muka and busuk hati.

Because I was naive, I trusted most people. And I told them what I honestly think about almost everything - boss, other collegues, work. At the same time, I was also short-tempered and very sensitive. Semua benda kecik adalah besar. Semua benda nak masuk kepala. Semua office gossip mesti nak dengar. At the end of the day, I was haunted by negative feelings. And one slight mistake can caused my blood go upstairs.

During my first year working, I had entered an argument with this female friend (well, I thought she was a friend), leaving us not talking to each other. Orang kata terajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata badan binasa.

Do I feel good? Not at all. I felt bad. You know the bad feeling that you got when you are not talking to someone, despite who's fault it is. It somesort of haunting you. You could not sleep well at night because you could not stop yourself from thinking about it. Yeah, that kind of feeling. So, I took the step to approach her and apologize but she was playing ignorance and did not budge. Thus, the thing prolonged. At least, I felt better because I've done my part.

I learnt my lesson from there. Thanks to my mother from giving me some good guidance and office tips, which I implement and practice till today. Mak, throughout her working life, has gained respect from her bosses and collegues. Even her bosses, called her Kak Adah. And if you know my mother, she's the quiet type. Tak banyak cakap, lebih banyak berfikir and senyum. I can't even remember when Mak actually nags at me. She hates nagging, coz she thought nagging uses lots of energy with little result.

Anyway, back to Mak's advices, she told me that in the office you have to be cautious in every move you make. Try to limit yourself from delving into other people's personal issues, or in other word, stop gossiping. The least time you poke your nose into other people's business, the better you will be. After all, it is not work-related, so tak tau pun takpe. But if you want to listen, then do as it says - just listen. Jangan tokok tambah dan jangan menyampuk.

Mak also told me that should there be any person, say Mrs A, who confide in you about other people, for example Mrs.B, just listen. But keep your mouth shut after that. In other words, don't go and sampaikan cerita itu pada orang lain, or worse still, sampaikan cerita itu directly pada Mrs. B. Senang cerita, sampai-menyampai is a no-no in the office. It can make small issues bigger. And it might be trapped you in the end when people find out you are in the actual whistleblower. You'll ended up not talking to Mrs A and Mrs B.

From what I deduce from Mak's advice, it's better to keep our mouth shut and concentrate on our work. Of course you can socialize, you can enjoy listening to gossips (but do not gossip) but at the end of the day, just zip your mouth and act like you know nothing. If someone comes to you and asked question like "Betul ke dia tu macam ni, macam tu?". Just answer politely that you do not know and you don't intend to know, eventhough in actual fact, you have heard quite a lot about that person before.

Oh yeah, another good advice by Mak is not to leave your water bottle on the table, especially if it still contains water in it. Hide it. People could put microelements in it for some ill intention.

Now move on to my father pulak. There was also this one time when he told me on the way to office that "The work itself is not hard. What makes it hard is because you have to deal with human behaviour".

I completely agree with him. In work, you have to deal with lots of people. And as a front liner like me, I have to deal with clients that most of the times pushed you to the edge with their 1001 requests. And to get things done, you have to push other people too - finance people, HQ people (I'm in branch), legal, compliance...name it. So, to make other people do work for you is not easy. You have two choices - be harsh and bossy type, or create a good rapport with them so they'll help you in return. I chose the latter. Get to know people. Make friends with them. Don't forget to smile eventhough they do not smile to you in return (orang ni kadang-kadang "urat senyum" dia putus). Write nice emails to them asking for a favour. Talk nicely to them over the phone. Don't forget to smile coz your smile can be 'heard' over the phone. Choose your words properly.

As for the first choice i.e. harsh and bossy type, that one can easily cause "jambatan roboh" with other party. They are lots of people like that in the office. And personally, I don't quite like that kind of style. Memang sakit hati kalau kena suruh dengan orang macam ni. They talk to you like you ni kuli diaorang sedangkan you are just the same level as them. Or even if you are lower level than them, that gives them no right to main suruh je orang sesuka hati dengan menggunakan perkataan yang kasar. I hate to admit, I was one of them before. Like I say, I'm short-tempered. But you tend to grow in age and maturity, so you have to adjust your way. I left this kind of behaviour long time ago. I'm happy with what I chose to be.

But I'm not happy bila I yang kena herdik atau disuruh seperti kuli. If someone did it to me, I'm pissed of. Kalau dulu, I akan jawab balik, with equal intonation and choice of words. But now, I chose to keep quiet. And do what is asked to do. I was this type of person once, so I know how they actually behave. Orang macam ni panas cepat, sejuk pun cepat. So bila dia dah sejuk, dia akan datang kat kita, cuba cakap dengan kita. Some did apologise, but some just cuba berbaik dengan kita semula sebab dia tau dia dah terkasar bahasa dengan kita. So if they did approach us, talk to them nicely like nothing happens. Try to smile eventhough your heart bleeds. Or if you are bleeding badly inside and couldn't face this chap, perhaps you couldn't give them any feedback initially, but don't prolong this matter. The next time she/he tried to talk to you, do talk to them in return. Or if dia dah malu nak approach kita balik sebab his/her first try was a failure, then you go and make the move to talk to him/her. Or write an email to her. If she/he is your friend, perhaps you can tell her that you are hurt by what she says and give suggestion on how she can improve things. Some people can accept this, if they are cool enough. If we do not take necessary steps, then 'jambatan roboh' situation will continue. And you don't actually feel good after all.

Mak also told me that it takes two to tango. It takes two people to get involve in an argument. And it takes two people to mend things over. If any of the two people is jenis yang berkeras hati, sampai bila-bila "jambatan roboh tidak akan dibina semula". I guess that's what happened around me here. "Jambatan roboh di sana-sini". I harap I takkan terjebak in any of them....After all, we spent more time in the office than at home (minus the sleeping time that is). So, you tend to see the people in the office more than you see your loved ones at home. Thus, try to minimise the probabilty to get involved in office conflicts. It can make yourself feel miserable. I tau, I pernah terjebak sebelum ni-:)