It's the first time I left him.
After 32 months.
"There's always a first time," my Other-Half consoled me.
But I could not control the urge to cry when I finally kissed and bid him farewell last Friday. I could still remember clearly his face, waving at us while hugging his grandma tightly. He didn't seem to mind us leaving him.
If not because of the commitment (monetary commitment) we have made at Ashraff's weekend school, we would have bring Ashraff back to hubby's kampung last weekend. But, instead, half-heartedly, we decided to leave him with his Tok Mak and Tok Abah in KL for two nights.
Two nights without Ashraff feels like infinity.
I missed him dearly. It felt so different without him around. I felt...empty.
I always thought I am not a good mother to my children. I mean, I am short-tempered and could not withstand an endless whailing, crying and tantrum from my kids. In fact, occassionally I felt like breaking-free from the mothering role that I'm succumb to, and just be on my own. I can rest, sleep, read books, do anything I want at my own sweet time, without having the kids controlling my time. Being kids-free...
But somehow or rather, me and my kids are inseparable.
Ironic isn't it?
1 comment:
sedih nya :(
i followed hubby to send the boys to daycare this morning. i cried when i handed asyraf over to the carer. and its only for 8 hours. i even brought his milk bottle to work. cant imagine being away from the boys for more than 8 hours *sob sob*
p/s was actually thinking of writing a similar entry on my asyraf today
Post a Comment