Majlis Ilmu

Eh lama jugak I tak update ye?

Not that I don’t want too but it seems that I could not upload photos in this online journal of mine. My thumbdrive encounters some kind of problem, thus I could not copy the photos I have in our notebook back home to be uploaded here. It is disk protected or something. Blog is dull without photos. So, I’ve been hesitating to publish any entry, though I made quite a few photo-less drafts.

But anyway, I can’t keep myself for not writing for quite sometime coz the last time I did it, I suffered quite a severe writer’s block (Ceh! Macam poyo je bunyi dia).

So here I am, trying to make an entry on what’s happening last weekend.

Last Sunday, I’ve attended this beneficial parenting seminar. Something which I have been wanting to go for quite sometime but ada saja aral melintang. Alhamdulillah, Allah permits me to attend it eventually.

The seminar which was held at Amp@ng was called “Khalifah Method of Parenting”. It’s quite a well-known Islamic approach of parenting, thus, I’m sure lots of people know about this seminar and some might have attended it.

I wanted Hubby to come along since “Parenting” includes “Mummy and Daddy” and not “Mummy”..or “Daddy” only. Plus I believe if only “Half of the Parent” attended it, the outcome will not be as effective. Unfortunately, Hubby has to go to JohorBharu for his normal outstation trip (I guess I’ve gotten so use to being left behind that I don’t really mind anymore). So, I am all alone, not as much as I wanted to.

So, in order for me not to forget the points given at the seminar (plus to disseminate the Ilmu I got should anyone stumbled upon my blog), I thot I should make an entry about it. Here are some salient points (not in order form):-

1. The concept of Khalifah is considered “loss” in Islam because usually Muslims will identify themselves as “Hamba Allah” instead of “Khalifah Allah”. Hamba Allah is just the same as any plants and tress while Khalifah is more superior than that. And the role is bigger.

2. Khalifah of Allah is the respresentative of Allah. Just like if you are a “wakil sekolah” you will try to do your very best, as not to let your school down. So what more as “wakil Allah”, you should be doing the best you can according to the Will of Allah. Thus, as long as you remember this, insyaAllah, you will turn out to be a good muslim – solat dengan ikhlas, buat segala kebaikan dengan ikhlas.

And if you can instill this value in your child, they’ll also be able to carry out their duties as Muslim dengan seikhlas hati, tanpa disuruh-suruh. They will throw the rubbish dengan ikhlas, gosok gigi dengan ikhlas etc. Reason being, they are the Khalifah of Allah. Thus, we as parents not only make them do good but we are instilling the desire to make good.

3. Our parenting role is to ensure that our child enters a harmonious Alam Kubur and Alam Masyar and not just only being rich or become professional doctors or lawyers.

4. The importance of rewards in your child’s life. Khalifah Method stresses that the ratio between reward and punishment should be 350 : 1 i.e. reward should be 350 more than punishment. Punishment such as hitting, canning could leave a non-favorable impact on the child’s mind. Reward on the other hand could be in these three forms – words, physical such as gifts and inner speech.

5. Inner speech (or kata hati) is a powerful tool in Khalifah Method. This actually teaches the children to reward themselves. For example, if the child finishes her homework early, without you praising her, she’ll use her “kata hati” to praise herself instead. She can say something like “Wahh…bagusnya saya hari ini. Siap homework cepat. Allah pasti suka.” With this, they are motivated to do further good deeds.

6. It is very important to introduce this Khalifah Method early in the child’s life. First, introduce them to Allah. Show them real life example, like how the trees grow, how catterpillar change to butterfly. When they understand the scenario, relate it to Allah. Ask questions like “Isn’t Allah powerful that He does all these?” then “Do you want to be special in the eyes of Allah?” They are few other tips given on how to instill the love of Allah in the children’s mind but it’s all in my notebook back home…hehehe…

But the most important thing is to tell the children that Allah loves them.

Our mistake is usually to tell apa yang Allah marah. “Don’t do this. Allah marah.” “Don’t do that. Allah marah”. This Khalifah method intends to shift our paradigm by looking at the positive angle instead.

7. Rewarding is basically a process of ‘shaping’. Shaping is the consistent rewarding of consecutive small steps until the child reaches the desired goals (basically desired goals ni is parent’s goals, but once the child is old enough to come out with his own goal in life and if its contradicts, talk, talk and talk with your kid). For example, if we want the child to be kind, since baby lagi kita dah kena dok cakap kat our child that he is a kind boy, polite boy, gentle boy, eventhough he’s merely a baby. And he does show politeness, praise them, hug them.

8. The most important thing….Our child mirrors us. So if we want our child to become a good ummah, we must change first. We must be a good Khalifah first. Set an example, and insyaAllah our child will follow suit.

Hmmm…is that all the points I can remember? Forgetful me…

But, thank God I keep the notes and the handouts so that I could refer to it anytime.

I’ve made this choice to attend parenting seminar because Ashraff is getting bigger. One day, before I go to sleep, it somesort of hit me. Look at the world today...there is too many negative influences out there. My kids are still young, so they are still attached to me. They still look up to us as parents. What if they are bigger? In their teens for example? Which path do they choose to go? If they are not strong enough, they can easily drag by the negative waves. Like what they mentioned during the seminar. Newborns are a bundle of joy…but they can also be bundle of potential. Potential can be towards the positive…or the negatives, that is for the parent’s to choose and guide. Pretty scary when I think of it.

Then I made some mental review on my ownself. Where am I as Muslim? Good? Bad? Can I be a good guide and example to my children to follow the Islamic path?

Balancing all the current situations in hand, I then decided that I need to join more and as much Majlis Ilmu as possible. Brush up my knowledge as Muslim and as parent. Macam poyo je kan? But that's what I currently feel. And I hope this feeling will last so that I am motivated to attend Majlis-Majlis Ilmu in the futiure.

Alhamdulillah I gain a lot from the seminar last Sunday. It's just a matter of putting it to practice. Which of course, is the hardest part...I infact, failed the very first night, when I scolded Ashraff sebab refuse to sleep walaupun mata dia ngantuk. Like nangis and jerit-jerit tak tentu pasal. Really make me grrrr...

Nampaknya I kenalah attend and re-attend similar seminars like this so that it keeps me on my toes all the time.

But first I need to...jeng jeng jeng...drag Hubby to attend the same seminar which is to be held on 20th May at KhalifahInstitute, TamanAmpangUtama *LOL*. I don’t think there is any point should me and Hubby have a conflicting methods of parenting or different goals for our kids. The kids can end up pretty much confused like hey, mana nak ikut ni… hehehe…I’m a kid once, I know what it’s like…hehehe…

For further info on the seminar, you could check this website www.islamic-world.net or you could always ask me. It's good if we can share this 'loss' knowledge with our fellow Muslim friends.

In the meantime, I want to find a good preschool who actually use this KhalifahMethod somewhere in Amp@ng. Anyone knows?