Me...working today?

It was smooth sailing to work today..good choice to drive...

And the office..gosh it's almost empty!

To top it all off, PC pulak buat hal. Bukak-bukak je blue screen and the IT people will take about one or two days to resolve the problem.

So where do I blog from then?

My friend's PC! He was on leave today...and due to boredom, I called him up to ask for his username and password so I could have access to the internet.

And now blogging...and goggling happily.

Yes, I do have few work to do, but the mood just isn't there...not when the office is so quite and you are using someone else's computer...alasan..alasan...

Plus, now that my blogging mode is on, I better post up some entries no matter how merapu it sounds..

The mood to blog came from spending my lunch hour during this Ramadhan month reading through my archives. I noticed that I heavily blog in 2005, 2006and 2007 with more than 30 entries per year. When I read through, it was nice to take a stroll down the memory lane and to reconnect with my past rants and rambles about life.

Then I found that I hardly blog in 2008, 2009 and this year. Reason being, increase family commitments, expansion of C.M.O.G, and the rush of Facebook era, which leaves blogspot unattended to. There's so many interesting (and not interesting) events in my life that I do not pen down.

And I seems to have lost touch with my blogger friends whom I have became a good friend of mine. Tau2 ada yang dah masuk anak tiga dah...emmm...

So now, I make an effort to start blogging (although dah berkarat) and pay a visit to my friends' blogs. This pretty much explains the three consecutive entries made within 4 days...it's a like a surge of addiction to blog:)

Next...blogspot makeover! Googling for free blogger template...found a good link from Eiseai's blog...

Where is this ship heading to? - Part 2

Referring to Part 1, I mentioned that my goal for now is to obtain my long service award.

Why is that so?

You see, beginning of this year, I have this intention to retire early and become a stay-at-home mum. Well, this intention is always at the back of my mind since I became a mother 6 years ago. In fact, when I read through my archives, I saw this interesting tagged that I did way back in 2005 and somehow have this envision of me being working at home mother at the age of 38.

When I was a lot younger, the thought of becoming someone who stays at home and look after her kids 24/7 never came across my mind at all. Instead, I see myself as someone successful in climbing the corporate ladder. Someone at the age of 40 has become a head of department, leading about 20 or so subordinates. Angan-angan mat jenin..

But only one thing uncertain at that time. I don't know what I want to be. Doctor is definitely out of the story...what more in becoming a celebrity...haha..

You see, when I completed my SRP (Form 3), accounting is not something that I would love to pursue. My interest was in Science..Math and Science to be exact. I wanted to take Pure Science when I was in Form 4 (despite me hating Biology subject). But Abah insisted I took Accounting subject. So when I was offered a place in MRSM I took Applied Science - dropped Biology and take Accounting instead.

At that point of time, I did not have the slightest idea of what Accounting is (I'm not in commerce stream when I was in Form 3), so the notion of taking Accounting in Form 4 cringed me. Kena-kena pulak cikgu yang ajar tu assume all of us have basic in accounting. Come on man, I don't even know the difference between assets and liabilities..what more double entry...

I flung the first quiz we had. It was my first failure, so it hit me really bad. I cried hard, almost gave up on the subject. I called Abah all the way from Terengganu, blaming him for forcing me to take the subject. But I remembered Abah being so calm and convinced me that I am bright enough to master the subject. Then the good side of me took place..I put extra effort to catch up with the rest of the students. Pergi menuntut dengan kawan-kawan yang pandai, forced the teacher to have a one-to-one personal coaching session with me. It's not long before I managed to grasp the subject really well.

Despite the better score in Accounting, my love was still in Physics and Chemistry (and Additional Maths). With my trial result, I was offered to pursue my study in Canada, doing engineering course. I was happy for the news, but Abah was not. He wanted me to continue in Accounting..in Universiti Malaya to be exact. What??!!

We had a great argument that night. I said I want to pursue study outside Malaysia.

"How about Singapore?" I remember Abah saying.
"Singapore? Taknaklah...dah selalu pergi..and what with you and UM?"
"Abah fikir UM adalah yang terbaik. I can buy you a car if you study in UM."
"I don't want a car. I want to go to Canada. Not everyone got this kind of opportunity." "Canada is too far."

I'm in the verge of crying at that time. I guess Abah saw the huge disappointment of my face, so he then compromised...

"Ok, kalau nak study overseas jugak, the furthest you can go is Australia..and buat Accounting ye, nak. Abah kalau boleh nak Ija jadi Accountant."

So Accounting it is...in Australia...Now that I think of it, kalau pergi Canada, mesti tak jumpa Hubby..hehehe...

And then worked in a Bank...a development Bank..because Abah refused to let me work in a commercial Bank. It's a lot more pressure, he said, especially when you are at a revenue center.

So like I said, been there done that for the past 10 years...

Now back to the original topic, with the current turbulence and the not-so-nice working environment, I want to pursue my new dream. The goal to become a work-at-home mom, just in time to be there for Ashraff when he enters the mainstream school. Though one thing is always at the back of my mind - if Abah is still around, he would definitely go against me in this. And just like before, I would buy his reasons and follow what he said.

But looking at the ship I'm boarding now, it is going to sink anytime soon if the captain is still uncertain of its direction. So before it does, it's better if I jump to a new ship fast. But I need to grab some token from the current ship first i.e. my long service award first which I hope to obtain before the ship sinks...

In the meantime, an employment agency called me up to set me for an interview. This has drived me to update my CV which hasn't been updated for the longest time. Now that everything is updated, the thought came into my mind...hey, why don't I test the market and see what's I'm worth now?

Where is this ship heading to? - Part 1

I know it's okay for an organization to undergo restructuring every two or three years to be in tandem with the change in economy, technology and government's policy.

But what with restructuring every two weeks?

Isn't that unhealthy?

You see, when you keeps on changing rapidly, somehow or rather you seems to have lost your direction, target and goal...and there's an exorbitant price that comes with it, which is in the form of low staff motivation that leads to unproductiveness!

And that's what an executive cabuk like me hates the most!

I hate living in a situation with no goal or motive. I'm the type that if I choose to go to a place, there must be something that I intend to see. I guess that's why I choose to marry Hubby in the first place, as for me he has a vision in life..a proper planning..a target. (Or do I marry him because he is a chatty type?)

So when this situation happens, I'm doomed. I'm like in the dark...buat kerja tapi tak tahu untuk apa...dan ke mana...

And after having to go through numerous numbers of restructuring process and throwing money outside the window, the latest rumours that I heard was we are going to be taken over by another institutions in October!

Oh come on! What happened to my long service award that I've been waiting for since the beginning of this year?

And to be eaten again? Gosh, the last 5 years memory is still fresh in my mind, and now I have to go through this again? Is this like an every 5 years event for me?

But when I ponder deep and long inside, a part of me wants this merger to happen fast. I can't stand having to work with no goal, no KPIs, no direction. With a so called new organisation, then there will be a breath of fresh air...i hope..

You see, when I first started working 10 years ago, I set myself a target My target was to be promoted every 3 to 4 years (considering I'm a fresh grad with no experience at that time). And because of that, I was self-driven. Pushed myself hard to achieve my level best. And I made it at the end of 2003! Took CCP course in 2004 to enhance my value, target to pass all papers at one go but terberanak pulak masa last paper tu..

Planned to sit for the final paper in the next sitting but at that time the Bank went into deep shit - change of management, restructuring over and over again, semuanya serba tak kena, so my motivation level dies of naturally. Eventually the Bank was taken over by a bigger capital Bank.

And after that, I worked like a robot, with no heart. Kerja sebab dibayar gaji.

I wanted to leave the Bank but the conservative Abah said "Sabar...things happen for a reason."

So here I am after 10 years, masih di takuk lama seperti 7 tahun dulu...

Now my goal is only one...I need my long service award!

...to be continued...

Look who's walking now!

Finally..the day we've been waiting for has arrived!

On 1st day of Ramadhan (11th August 2010), my baby walks! Wobble, Wiggle, Wobble, Wiggle all the way..The whole family was excited to see him walking...

Lotsa Birthdays!

In June

It's mine! My 33rd Birthday..old already, aye? There's no such thing as age is just a number. Dah tua, tua jugak..but I want it do it gracefully:)

For me being a wife and mom, having to hear the wish from my family is the best thing to happen on my birthday, but Hubby decided to give it an extra ummphh. He asked me out on a dinner to Favola, La Meridien Hotel. It was an Italian restaurant, headed by a close friend of Hubby's, Chef Ayie. So basically he got a special price from him..But anyway, without the special price, I find the price of food there is reasonable and affordable.

Here are some of the foods that we ate:-

Wow! To me that's more than enough for my birthday.

But that's not enough to him. Hubby handed me a birthday card. As I opened it I was mesmerized as the first thing I saw is Ashraff's sweet handwriting.

And I as I looked further down, I can see a birthday voucher for a day of pampering at my favourite spa.


Gosh! I almost cried. Thank you so much the most romantic guy I've ever known..for making my day on my birthday!

A very happy birthday girl..

Anyway, I've used the voucher last Sunday. What a bliss!

In July

It's Aqieff's 1st birthday! As per my previous entry, his birthday falls on weekday. But we decided to celebrate it that weekend at Bukit Tinggi, Pahang since we are heading East to attend my friend's wedding in Bentong.

Bukit Tinggi is a place where I wanted to go for the longest time but hadn't got the chance to do so. I thought of making it our honeymoon destination 7 years ago (7 tahun dah!) but Hubby opposed to that. Then, on our anniversary this year, I asked him again, still the same answer. But hajat tercapai when I proposed to him to make it a venue to celebrate Aqieff's birthday. So that weekend, we headed of to Bentong first.

Aik! Aqieff ke yang drive?

The bride, Ila looks extraordinary beautiful clad in a combination of pink and green wedding dress. Her partner pun apa kurangnya. Bagai pinang dibelah dua:)

Pengantin Baru dan Pengantin Lama

Then on the way back, we dropped by at Bukit Tinggi. First a visit to the rabbit farm. Aliff was crying when we reached there. It turns out that his foot was sore. Laa..kasut dah sempit rupanya..kena beli kasut barulah nampak gayanya...

We changed him to his normal Crocs, and he was back to his normal cheeky self.

The kids had a marvelous time feeding the rabbit.

We then visited Colmar Tropicale, which is a must if you visit Bukit Tinggi. Lovely place. I found that they maintained the place quite well.

We stopped at a restaurant to have a short tea time and decided to cut the cake there.

The birthday boy was in a jovial mood all the time, alhamdulillah.

"Aqieff, I'm sorry that we do not have a bigger 1st birthday celebration for you unlike your brother's. After having three kids, Ibu Ayah thought it's just not worth it to have a big do for a one year old. We'll have yours when you are bigger. How about next year?"

In August

It's Ashraff's 6th birthday! Also my 6th anniversary as Ibu.

This time around the celebration is done at Ashraff's school, as insisted by the birthday boy himself. He wants a Spongebob Squarepants theme for his birthday celebration.

Ibu took about one week to prepare for his goodie bags, selit-selit dengan buat orang lain punya order.

Ashraff was happy despite the small and brief do. He was surrounded by his friends, his brothers and teachers. Ibu, Tok Mak and Bibik pun ada.

Despite the happiness, Ashraff is not feeling well. You can tell it from his eyes. He was down with measles that evening. Poor boy..sakit ni dah sebati dengan diri dia..

So birthday in June, July and August are over and done with...

Coming up next..

In September

It's Ayah's birthday..during 1st week of Raya..

In November

It's Aliff's. He has been waiting too long for his birthday. When we bought a cake for Aqieff, he will be asking Aliff punya mana? And same goes when we did for Ashraff's. He didn't cry asking for his to be done immediately as he accepted the fact that his is in November (eventhough he doesn't now how long that's gonna take).

Cuma everytime there's birthday in the house, he will say
"Aliff nanti nak birthday Mickey Mouse tau Ibu."
Ok Aliff...I got you...

Having to think of it, the only month missing is October..so kalau nak try for no 4, kena aim for October delivery..hehehe..