I married a guy whose work requires him to travel frequently. Usually it's overnight trips...can vary from one week to two weeks to even 1 month.
Sebelum ada anak, I don't quite mind that much. In fact, I love the arrangement, coz not having him around for few days is like an escapism for me from being a wife. I live with my parents. So when he's not around, I'm back to being single again. Kekadang I got to chit-chat with mak until late night...that kinda thing.
And then like the saying says, seperation makes our heart grow fonder. So, yes it is. Despite having to live as a bachelor, I still look forward to seeing him again at the end of the week or month. Plus at that time, I also had a fair share of outstation trips coz my work at that time requires me to do lots of site visiting at various states.
When I had Ashraff, I got a bit frustrated over him having to leave me and Ashraff for his usual outstation trips. I somesort of envy him. I felt like he got to be 'free' from his role as a father. He doesn't have to wake up to make Ashraff's milk at night. And he got to sleep whenever he wants too...
In fact, I still have that feeling inside me everytime he went outstation.
But I still live with my parents. And they are there in case I need help in taking care of Ashraff. Abah drove me around whenever Hubby was not around. He was the one who went to grocery store to buy Ashraff's milk or diapers when we were running out of it. He drove me to paeditrician should Ashraff fall sick.
So, I don't mind that much.
When I got Aliff, I still doesn't mind coz mak and abah are around to help me. To make my life more livelier whenever he's not around. And I got a helper to help me.
But now...
Hubby is off again to his outstation trip. Nothing unusual...
Except this time, mak and abah are also not around. They were on their umrah trip.
So the big house is left empty, with only me, bibik and the two boys. This is my first time being left in this kind of situation.
And I got trouble going to work. You see, when I got married, almost 100% of the driving part is done by hubby. So, when he's not around...and abah too, I lost my reliable driver...hehehe...
Since I don't drive that much since I'm married, I'm afraid to drive especially in the middle of congested morning traffic.
So, I have to resort using the public transport. But, there's no convenient public transport in BA. Thus, me and my troop have to move to my aunt's house, which is near to Wangsa Maju's LRT station. Other factor is I don't quite trust my Bibik to handle the boys alone, so at least by staying at my aunt's she could monitor them both.
So, here are we are..menumpang di rumah orang...
During weekends I have to go back to BA to have a look at my parents' house. See if everything is under control.
Well, it's one week now. I had to run the normal errands that usually is done by Hubby or Abah (if hubs is not around). Like the last few nights, we were running out of wet tissue..and filtered water (usually kitaorang beli kat water filter machine near the house). It was raining cats and dogs and me with two big bottles full of water, was struggling to get in the car. Basah kuyup. Then later I went to G1ant to shop for some neccessities. Uish...quite a challenging task for me especially in the middle of heavy rain, and it's pretty hard to get a parking lot.
And I was so tired when I reached home...and wanted to doze off immediately. But the boys decided the opposite. They were having loads of fun..with Ashraff running around the house..and Aliff ransacking the toy box. Masa tu perasaan jealous kat Hubby meluap-luap lah..."he must be having a good sleep at this hour now", "uish, tak fairnya...". That kind of inner talk popping in my mind. Iblislah tu...takde lain...Actually, I always have this feeling whenever hubby is outstation and the boys buat perangai atau fell sick. I rasa macam tak fair...Tak fairnye I have to handle this alone...I want to be 'set free' as well...let me go outstation pulak...
Hmmm...that kinda thoughts.
But when I think about it, I don't want to leave the kids alone. I want to bring them anywhere I go. I don't want to trouble other people to take care of them whenever I'm not around...I felt guilty should I leave them to sleep with my mom or my maid. It's pretty ironic. A part of me wants an equal share of freedom as hubby...but another part of me, wants to be attached to my kids. I'm like torn in between. Or maybe I'm the woman that don't know what she actually wants in life...hahaha...
Anyway, the last one week has teached me what it's like should mak and abah are not around anymore in this world...and hubby is off to his outstation trip at the same time. Or what is it like to live as a single mom. It teaches me to be independent. Yup, my life is flat and boring without Hubby around...or mak and abah to talk too. But at least I got the boys to cheer me up.
Well anyway, Hubby is supposed to come back this Wednesday...but he postpone it till the end of this week due to heavy workload. Meaning which, I have to menyambut bulan Ramadhan alone, without hubby, mak and abah. Oh my God...I'm sad...
To my blogger friends and readers, Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan Al-Mubarak....
21 comments:
Ija, rasanya kita berada dalam satu 'kapal' since my hubby pun tak duduk sama. To be frank memang terfikir gak macam tu kdg2. Tapi, cepat2 hilangkan... Bila tengok Aysh rasa kesian sebab tak dapat duduk dengan papa.
Cumanya kita ni duduk dengan parents so, perasaan tak puas hati tu kurang sgt2. Tapi bila Mr Hubby balik je... memang saya biarkan Aysh melekat kat papanya... kalau bawak jejln pun kalau boleh Aysh n papa only... (kalau setakat rpund2 taman ler).
Dear,dont feel upset or sad,u r not alone hihi,i thought i'm the only one yg rasa jealous bila hubby gi outstation,mcm u ckp la nak bebas mcm masa single,but half of me tak boleh deny my role as a mom,and end up feel like i dont know what i want in life..tp mcm u ckpla ni semua kerja iblis,biasa la kita badan dah penat,hormon dah laim mcm(haha i i like to blame the hormon) start la buat perangai pikir bukan2,but think +vely,hubby buat tu semua utk kita and anak2,utk hidup selesa,then baru la rasa lega-takpe fren,hang in there,dont feel miserable,at least u dpt experience handle everything on yr own,so kalau 'darurat' next time u dah tak susah nak handle,kacang for u lah!-so u take care k hubby takde ni,jgn sedih2 ya :)
salam,
saya ni, suami p kursus 3 hari jer mau nak nangis dah. naknya pulak kita full housewife. nikan pula sis yg lama kena tinggal. kuat semangat betul sis, sib baik tinggal ngan parentkan.
tak pelah, x lama lagi suami sis balik, so selamat berbuka puasa bersama suami tercinta n anak2 nanti ya.
salam,
sis..baru ni tadi saya tgk gambar2 percutian di sydney tu, alahai, jelesnya tgk sis kurus biarpun anak 2. makan jamu apa ya? hehe..ni proses nak cari jamu berpantang la ni, biarpun nak masuk 5, tp masih x stick pada satu2 jenama. still tukar2. saya ni jenis badan saiz L. tu kalau dpt nak turun M, untungnya dpt bdn saiz s huhu.
Ija, aku nak gelak pon ada baca ur entry. But, yeah.. i feel you woman! I think we all feel the same way. Aritu masa dlm pantang lagi la aku rasa tensen! Heheh..
Takpe.. ko kan superwoman! Bolehnya handle sume tu. ;)
i know how you feel. with hubby gone for half a day's work on saturdays pun i dah start mengamuk & get upset with the boys and start screaming. lagi2 with this condition where i cant do much, bathing the boys can be a pain, going up and down is a torture. even worse when they just wont go to sleep and i just need to rest.
i cant imagine going by a night without hubby. dulu with just amir, i'm ok. now with 2...and 3 soon, it scares me. hubby's starting a new job which may require him to work odd hours and weekends. i donno how i'll cope then.
maid...still cant accept that bit yet. i'll be like you...nak the freedom but nak be close to the boys too.
on a happier note...selamat menyambut bulan ramadhan. i hope i can fast at least half of the month.
hello Ja! byk2 bersabar ok? mcm tu la keadaan wife ditinggal hubby sbb kerja luar.
If its any help, I'm sure he's missing you & boys a lot too! Still remember the time when we're doing work while outstation at branches and suddenly ur hubby will said sumthing/mimic sentence2 Ashraff said at home.
Kuatkan semangat! Msia Buleh!
alamak siannya.. my hubby walaupun ade rumah sangat2 laa workholic, berjage sampai due tiga pagi and kalau die buat keje, pantang ade yang kacau.. so i feel the same way too. i laa yang tunggang langgang tengok Emir. and i pulak jenis yang bile balik je, all works are mine, bibik boleh relaks..
n worst part, yang paling i jeles, bile die rase nak tido die boleh tidur je. like us, mane boleh, selagi anak tak tido, kite pun kene pakse bukak mate..
but apart from that.. i tak boleh bayangkan kalau dalam dunia ni takde my hubby..
Alahai *hugs*...hubby Amy tak balik sehari pun dah rasa rindu ni kan plak kalau outstation berminggu. Nanti first day posa tu jgn buka posa sorang2, buka posa dgn relatives ke, kawan2 ke..tak la rasa sgt sedih tu ok? :D
raf, sama lah, my husband's nature of work requires him to travel a lot too. iblis tu attack us all, you're not alone. at times, i feel miserable too. am sure ur hubby wanted to sambut ramadhan with you but dah kerja, nak buat cammana kan? hang in there. salam ramadhan mubaraq :)
p/s: efx2 is down for quite sometime already. i may blog in blogspot balik.
mommyalif (rad)
My husband is leaving for Mongolia on 23rd and wl only be back for raya. My parents in JB and my in laws in KB & I am with no maid. Ermmmm don't know what to say now...face it je lah dah biasa hidup sendiri pun.
babe...selamat berposa.....
agak sedih sebenarnya tgk ibu2 tunggal kan....we are going to have a charity malam amal affair during this raya for anak anak yatim and ibu tunggal.....mesti sayu tgk budak2 tu...
Hello, dah lama tak jengah blog, tgk2 ada 12 comments!
Fahida: Yup, I'm like you. Bila hubby balik, serahkan tanggungjwb menjaga pada dia..but can't for long, coz the kids will run to me for emotional needs jugak...
Mommamia: I pun nak blame kat hormon jugak...ini sume keje iblis. Bila happy hours tu, rasa kesian je hubby coz he miss all the fun and action. tapi bila depa buat perangai and badan kita penat, time tulah iblis amik peluang nak mengapi kita...Well, as u said, we need to learn to be independent in case if anythg happens kan? we never know...
kaklong: Uish, kalau i hsewife cam u, i pun sama menangis. But my case not that badlah, ada yang lebih teruk...Saiz S? It's in the genes sis. I tak diet and tak makan jamu. I kalau boleh nak naik sket:)
Nana: Banyaklah ko punya superwoman...I baca entry I ni balik pun nak tergelak. I sound so much like a pathetic, unindependent woman. Nasib abik ramai yg simpati..hehehe...
Eiseai: Your hub is changing job again? Odd hours? Oh man, be prepared for it. But I think your kids will be just fine. Hopefully they'll behave so make your life much easier...Selamat berpuasa to you too! Oh, I tinggal like 10 days last year...
Shue: Is it? That's so sweet of him. Oh yes, he missed them badly. I know coz everytime dia call mesti nak cakap ngan Ashraff..and nak dgr suara Aliff.
Ibuemir: Ye lah kan, guys kalau nak tido, boleh main tido je. My hubs can just sleep eventhough Ashraff & Aliff main2 kat tepi dia. Kalau I, never! Esp with Aliff yang masih baby and tak stable lagi. Oh yes, I couldn't imagine myself without hubby and my parents...Without them, my life will be just like what I am now..permanently! Tidakkkk!
Amy: Oh Amy, so sweet oh you..I buka puasa ngan my aunt who took care of me when I was small...and also my sis who came all the way from Cyberjaya...It's not that bad after all.
mommyalif: Yelah, dia cari rezeki utk kitaorg jugak. But he knows what I feel everytime he has to go. Bukannye taktau. That's why he took over the job of caring the kids whenever he's around..and I got to rest:)
Butterflutter: Oh gosh, everytime kita rasa kita susah, ada yang lebih susah...Oh, kuatkan semangat, sis. Maybe we can form a support group or something..hehehe...
Fina: Ibu tunggal mmg kesian, babe. especially bab financial tu..anak yatim lagilah. Share me more info on the charity dinner pls? Bila?
memang things changed once we have a kid ... dolu i dont mind being left alone when hubby goes for a short trip. this is because i got my wife duty leave.. I will only miss his company je.. But once we have a kid, I hate the idea of being left alone. Lagi stress bil anak sakit.. Maybe sebab my hubby jenis yg semuanya dia nak buat..so bila dia tak de, I rasa mcm hepless je.. Not that I'm not an indipendent type.. Cuma it's get harder when u r so used to have someone to rely on.
Be brave k..
btw... syoknya dpt bercuti.. That the beauty of breastfeeding ..No hassle when it comes to feeding your kid.
hei ija.. tak sempat baca your entry..(nak cepat ni) ni nak bagitau yg gambar idress is at
http://idrees.fotopages.com
Been there, done that :)
But it gets easier nowadays since both boys are older and more independant, though sometimes even more demanding.
Have a blessed Ramadhan
Rafiqa.. erin pun dpt rasakan dan bygkan mcmana kalau ditinggalkan sendirian camtu..
dgn takde hasben / parents kita yg selalu biasa bersama2 dgn kita....
Mcamana kita handle anak2 bila sorang2 mcm tu....
pernah jugak my hubby perli, kalau dia kena outstation yg lama mcmana agaknya dengan myself. Coz, i pun mcm you...bergantung kat dia. I pun dah lama tak drive... risau jugak kalau la apa2 terjadi..berani ke aku nak drive sendiri2..nih...
Apa-apa pun congrats to you sbb dah berjaya tempuh seminggu ni tanpa insan2 tersayang disisi. Sedikit sebanyak, benda2 mcm ni membantu kita supaya lebih berdikari.
Selamat berpuasa dari erin & co.
ramadhan would be nothing without anyone around. but you had the remaining members of the family...like the boys, bibik and me! at least you had tok lon around...and even more fortunate to have the food laid down in front of you in a blink of an eye. try to blink again...ta-daaa..asam pedas dah ade..kan senang ;)
and one more thing..dont you think it's about time we give abah a break and drive him around?
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