Their individual soul

I've been drafting this post everyday for the last one week. Can't find time to do it one shot. Apart from that, I've somesort of mental blogging with lots and lots of things I want to blog about...if and only if I got the time.

Anyway, after reading my previous post, I really think it’s fair for me to blog about my two tykes individually (can't get enough of them), so that as I look back at this entry in the years to come, I would know their development as at this date. Those previous phases that shall pass and never could be re-visited. So, here goes…

Ashraff

What I would like to remember about him as at todate is his schooling days and the effect on him as a person. You see, Ashraff’s day care giver is his grandparents and our maid, and he’s confined in a familiar surrounding all the time, which is our house. He doesn’t have a schedule to begin with. He can wake up anytime he wants, sleep and eat whenever and whatever he wants, demand unnecessary stuff and most of the times succeeded because either Tok Mak or Tok Abah will get it for him. His life was never regulated. It’s him and only his words count. Pretty hard to bend “his rule”, especially with the short temperament that he got.

Thus, going to school every day was not a smooth journey to start with. The first two days was okay, just as per my previous entry. But after that, it was tough to make him go to school, and it wasn’t me who has to bear it everyday. It was my mother and father (and my maid).

Not every grandparent has the strong heart to do so, especially when grandchildren are concerned. But alhamdulillah, in this situation, Mak was different. She’ll make sure Ashraff goes to school everyday. Nangis pun nangislah. She’ll still force him to go.

Due to tahap mogok yang agak kritikal, Ashraff refused to cooperate in class. How did we find out? From Ashraff himself. He told us, “Semua orang nyanyi, Ashraff sorang je tak nyanyi.” And everytime we asked him what song or what alphabet/number he learns in school, he’ll give us the same answer everyday – “tak tahu.” And as told earlier, Ashraff kept on refraining himself from peeing in school.

I am worried that this situation will continue, so all I could do is pray. And alhamdulillah, my prayer was answered when after more than one week of crying, he suddenly change to a better person. He is eager and excited to go to school. He’ll wake up on his own and ever willing to change to his school uniform. He has started doing his ‘business’ at school so he now wears no diaper to school.

He has started to sing to us all the songs he learns at school together with the action. He now knows how to differentiate between a boy and a girl, and knows what every colour at the traffic light means. Something which we never have the time to teach him before.

At times there was a sudden gush of “saya” dan “awak” when he was talking to Aliff. It sounds weird and funny, but I guess that indicates the way he communicates with his friends at school. I know that his social skills improves when he starts mentioning some of his friends’ names – John, Girish, Haziq and Farhan – when he talks about school.
“Takde girl ke?”
“Ashraff kan boy. Ashraff kawan dengan boy je lah,” he answered nonchalantly.

I also noticed some positive change in the discipline department. It is easier to negotiate with him now. He suits well with the “Time-Out” method, whereby if he makes one mistake or refuse to follow instruction, I’ll ask him to stand at one corner until he feels sorry for what he did. I tried that before with him but it didn’t work out. He also knows how to keep his toys back to where it belongs if we asked him to. And also make sure that his shoes are put at its designated area whenever he takes it off. Takdelah buat kepala degil dia macam dulu.

He also shows sudden sign of empathy. Like the other day, I fell down right in the middle of a crowd in Danga Bay, Johor. Sakit dan malu. But it was all wiped away when Ashraff asked me “Are you okay?” It caught me at suprise and I almost cried. Sebelum ni, dia akan buat dek je when I’m in pain. Then, I can see that he asked similar question to Aliff whenever he sees Aliff in pain.

Having a conversation with him is a lot of fun. He can argue with you now. And he can asked you lots and lots of questions yang cukup menguji kepintaran ku sebagai seorang dewasa. He amazes me with his knowledge and also his extensive vocabulary, both Malay and English. Gone were the days when we have to force him to sleep. Now he can just doze off anytime he wants to…with ease. I guess going to school tires him down.

One thing about Ashraff that I noticed, he is good when it comes to music. He appreciates music. He can catch the rhythm of a song in flash, and later memorize its lyrics, be it in English, Malay or Japanese (ni kes lagu Ultraman, Shuriken School, Ninja Boy etc). At one time, he took his piggy bank full of coins, and jiggled that thing to a familiar rhythm. I volunteered to become the singer, so both of us became a mother & son duo for the night. I don’t know whether this is good or not, but I definitely oppose to the notion of him becoming a singer.

Ashraff is a big boy already..and he seems to grow and mature overnight. I guess sending him to school really helps to discipline and teach him to become independent. Then again, he still acts as any 3 1/2 year old will do. He still throws tantrums occasionally. He still fights with Aliff. And he still could not share some of his toys. He is also still on bottle. I still have no idea how to wean him. But as at now, it is not a major concern.

Now I have to deal with another toddler in the making..and his name is Aliff.

Aliff

Oh where do I start? Too many things to update. I think I better do it in point form.

• Tantrums, tantrums, tantrums. My 15 month old boy can definitely express his dissatisfaction by whining, screaming dan menghempaskan badannya ke lantai seperti ikan atas darat. I’m still finding ways on how to handle his tantrums. The “Distraction Tactic” which works well with Ashraff, does not work effectively with Aliff. He is very focus, I may say. If he wants that thing, it’s only that and nothing else.




• At the age of 15 month, Aliff knows how to hold pencil/pen perfectly like any adults do. I think he must have got it from his brother. And just like Ashraff, he also loves to scribble, and I’m trying to make sure he does that only on paper.




• He can also dance to any tune, but his dance is funny. It’s more of like marching, rather than dancing.




• His vocabulary is wide, compared to his brother at this age. The thing about Aliff he loves to imitate the word that comes out from anyone’s mouth, esp his brother’s. And dia jenis main hentam je. So he’s quite “pelat”. Unlike him, Ashraff is a perfectionist. If he can’t utter the word perfectly, he’ll not say it at all. So that’s why he’s slower when it comes to talking, but when he does, it was perfect. Some of Aliff’s vocab as at todate:-

Cat
Dog
Bird
Ball
Bu – Ibu
Bibik
Abah – Tok Abah
Nak –Hendak
Nanak – Tak nak (Ashraff dulu mat salleh sikit sebab dia cakap “No”)
Chuchu – susu (bottle/breastfeed)
Bukak
Tutup
Amik – Ambik
Abang
Pyman – Spiderman
Donald Duck (perfect! But got mix up with Mickey Mouse)
Shek – Shrek
Onkey – Donkey
Wabbit – Rabbit
Car
Tetit – Sakit
Akut – Takut
Banak – Banyak
Num – Minum
Atuh – Jatuh
Tekan – (suruh kita tekan suis bukak lampu)
Baby
Bayee – Barney

I think banyak lagi but tu je yang I can recall as at now.

• He hates formula. So I still have to pump in the office. My BM is running low, so he has to be supplemented. My maid uses a cup and straw to make him drink formula. He’ll take a little.




• Gigi? I tak tahu berapa batang yang dah ada. It’s pretty hard to see how much teeth he’s got with his small pouting lips. And he refused to let us open his mouth to see his teeth. But from a quick glimpse, I think he has about 8 teeth. Pretty slow in this department, I think.




• He’s still a restless sleeper. He’ll wake up few times at night. Thank God I’m breastfeeding, so I don’t really mind at all. Cuma when he’s teething, he’ll become more restless, and will wake up almost every hour. Menguji kesabaran di situ.




• So far, alhamdulillah, dia payah nak menjangkit bila the whole house sakit, and shall recover fast should he’s sick. Ashraff pun dulu macam tu jugak. Seldom sakit masa kecik, but now, almost every two weeks selsema. I think if you don’t build the antibody when you’re smaller (i.e sakit will build antibody), you’re bound to kerap sakit as u gets bigger. I hope Aliff has stronger antibody.

Ok, hubby is here. Gotta go. Till my next post, taaa....