It wasn't easy this time around...

I felt sick all day. It wasn't as easy as the first time.

I am 7 weeks pregnant. I am happy and grateful to Allah for granting my prayers to conceive the second time. Just like what we have planned, a two-year age gap between our Ashraff and his baby brother/sister. Alhamdulillah.

It is too early to shout about and tell the whole world. But I just think I have to share the pain and worry I am going through...

The first ultrasound image of the gestational sac does not look good. According to the Obgyn at the maternity clinic that I visited, the sac looked unstable. A normal gestatinal sac should show a 'double sac sign'. Meaning which, there is a thick outline of white in colour surrounding the sac, which is black in colour.

This is how the normal sac looks like.
But mine, the line is vague. It was not as clear as Ashraff's. Doctor asked me few times (like as if she does not believe of my answer) whether I have any spotting and bleeding. My answer is 'No'. So far so good, alhamdulillah. What she told me next scares me to death. She told me only 15% of pregnant women is in this condition. 15%!!! Like out of 100, only 15 women shared the same experience! Yikes!!

I asked her the reason for this. She told me that my pregnancy hormone is low. Thus, the sac is unstable. So, she gave me this medication called 'Duphaston' which is very pricey indeed. RM3 for one tablet and I have to take 2 tablets a day. She gave me 20 tablets so all in all, it costed me RM60 for Duphaston alone, excluding the consultation and folic acid cost.

I don't mind the price, just as long as the feotus inside me grows normally. Hubby advised me not to worry that much. I tried not to think of it that much but as you sit alone (like sekarang ni), I kept thinking of the situation I am in. If only I have one ultrasound machine at home, I will do the scanning every day and see how it goes!

And I feel sad for not having to be able to carry Ashraff everytime he wants me to do it since the sac inside me is too fragile. There are times when Ashraff insisted me to carry and cuddle him, but all I am allowed to do is just to kneel down and hug him. Though he still jumped up and down wanting me to carry him, but I just can't. And I have to asked Hubby or my maid to do it. Ahhhh...I feel bad...

Now let me tell you the Duphaston effect. It was bad! I feel nausea and vomitting every single meal that I consumed. I do not like the taste of plain water. Every morning, I have to drag my feet to work. I am completely flat during last weekend. I could not accompany Hubby to Sogo and KLCC to search for his new backpack. I could not cook for the family. And here I am sitting in my office room, feeling dizzy after a round of throwing up, writing this entry.

It wasn't this bad with Ashraff. I am energetic. Pregnancy that time was great! My face glowed throughout the whole 40 weeks. I only suffered a mild 'night sickness' during the first trimester, and that's it!

Guess, it is totally different this time around. I have heard people saying that the first trimester effect is due to psychology...Hmmm...and some said it is due to age factor...Hmmm...And another said can be due to metabolism rate...Hmmm...I would say that it depends on your luck.

Whatever the effect might be, I just wish that everything goes out well for the baby and me. I hope in my next check-up which is due in two weeks time, I would be able to see the heartbeat of my unborn baby. I just hope that I could enjoy this pregnancy just like I did the first time...Please pray for us...

A Costly Journey

Just came back from our Balik Kampung Trip last two days. This time around, it is very costly indeed. All in all, with journey to Kulai for Fitri's cousin engagement, then Johor Bharu for a sleepover at Tok Mak's house, then the next day to Kota Tinggi to visit Fitri's uncle, and then proceed to MIL's house in Pontian, has cost us RM310!!!.

This hike in petrol price has definitely burned hole in our pocket. Macamana nak pergi Cuti-Cuti Malaysia ni???!!!

Ashraff 'ambil upah'...

I'm grinning from ear to ear when reading this entry made by another blogging mommy...Thanks a lot my friend!

That's not the only reason I am thrilled, though. Another reason is the fact that Ashraff has fully recovered from a high fever he suffered from for the last 4 days. Remember how I was feeling guilty for having to lost my temper at him the other day? After lunch, on the same day, I received a phone call from my mother telling me Ashraff's temperature has gone up. This news definitely caused the super-guilty mother to blame herself for what had happened, thinking that the fever was all her fault.

After merely depending on fever medication and antibiotics for the next three days, we brought Ashraff to the specialist. Paeditrician suspected it was a dengue and recommended for a blood test. But this stubborn mama opposed to the suggestion and decided to leave with the medication he prescribed Ashraff with. And a promise to return should the fever did not subside for good for the next two days.

Alhamdulillah, it finally decided to go away on the same day we brought Ashraff to the paeditrician (saja je nak suruh Ibu & Ayah paid the specialist fees). And both me and Hubby..and even Ashraff were overjoyed about it, despite every one of us looking haggard due to insufficient sleep.

Something which I noticed once he had recovered from the fever is he gained a lot of new skills and extra vocabs. My mother told me the fever is probably to 'nak ambil upah' for being able to acquire new skills.

Some of Ashraff’s new skills are as follows:-

· Being able to identify and point out his Ayah’s car at a parking lot as big as KLCC’s.
· Not only Ayah but his Atok Abah’s car too.
· Dictate us on when he wants to see his favourite Disney Playhouse Channel on Astro. Me and hubby were watching CSI and the case was just about to be solved, when Ashraff suddenly came to us, brought along the remote control, pointed at the TV and uttered some meaningless words. But when we tried to ignore him, the louder he sounded and started to throw tantrum. So, there goes our CSI that night…
· Persuades us to open the TV the moment he get up from sleep.
· Being able to imitate melody perfectly.
· More precaution if he wants to jump from a chair or table. Guess he has developed more cause-and-effect sense.

And his new vocabs are:-
· Je-Je (for Jojo the Circus)
· Sing song that somehow the words do make sense like ‘Wai, Wai, ge way’ (for Rain,rain, go away).
· Air, instead of ‘Air Keda’ for anything in liquid form, even his milk.
· One-Two
· Ba-Ba (for Atok Abah)
· Mak (for Atok Mak)
· Bibi (for Bibik, my maid).

But Ibu??? Masih tak pass…Even ‘Bu’ pun tidak!!!

Oh yeah, something so obvious lately is his baby-babble speech has changed from a lot of ‘ke, a, pe, de’ to a lot of ‘ish, ush, oh, ahh. It must have come from watching too much Disney Playhouse Channel till all his words sounds more of English than Malay…Ahhh kids nowadays…

What have I done??!!

What's got into me yesterday??

Ashraff has pushed my patience to its limit, and I was in rage..towards him..

But when he cried himself to sleep...


A feeling of guilt and regret rushed through me..
Oh why can't I be a little bit more patient??
I kissed and hugged him while he's sleeping..but that did not wash the guilt away...

This morning, I left to work...and he is still sleeping...
And this impatient mother is still blaming herself for not being able to hold back her anger yesterday...

I can see his smiley face everywhere now...I want to go back home and be there the first time he opens his eyes, greeting me good morning...

What's got into me yesterday??

Watch out for INFLATION folks!

Fuel price has ridiculously increase by 30 cents. BLR (Base Lending Rate) will follow suit. Soon, other goods and services will too. The effect is of course, INFLATION!! And who suffers the most?! We, of course!

Hubby had gone ballistic over this issue yesterday. He has done his calculation and looks like the hike in petrol price has caused a major blow in our financial budget, with balik kampung and what not. Even increment in salary (yang teramatlah ciput tu) would not be able to cover our very-soon-to-be fatter expenses. Pening, pening...Sometimes I wonder what it would be like for those lower-income earner than us, with a greater number of family member. They must have suffered the most.

At least for us, we have started to use public transport to go to work. But to tell you the truth, despite hubby very much liking to go to work with LRT and such since he doesn't have to drive, this lady of comfort (moi!) do not quite like it. Probably I was pampered all this while because I was chauffeured-driven back and forth to work, so I could catch up on sleeping time, eat, adjust my tudung, put on my lipstick etc in the car. Now, I have to walked in the rain or under the hot sun to go to Putra LRT, changed to Star, then take feeder bus back home. Hubby made a remark "Naik Star and bus pun chauffeur-driven jugak..Some more it is a good exercise since u nak sangat kuruskan badan tu..." Oh well, kalau dah spoilt tu spoilt jugak..

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On a different note, Hubby is shifting to a new working place, under different company that is. He has received an offer from UMW toyota, a company that he has been eyeing for quite sometime. The only drawback now is that he has to travel all the way to Shah Alam to work. And lots of outstation trip too!! I don't mind (I hope I don't) just as long as he is happy.

So, with the current company that he is attached to, it only lasted for 8 months since it is a contract basis and a probability for them not renewing his contract is there. As a wife, I am happy for him and wish him all the best in his new venture!