It was smooth sailing to work today..good choice to drive...
And the office..gosh it's almost empty!
To top it all off, PC pulak buat hal. Bukak-bukak je blue screen and the IT people will take about one or two days to resolve the problem.
So where do I blog from then?
My friend's PC! He was on leave today...and due to boredom, I called him up to ask for his username and password so I could have access to the internet.
And now blogging...and goggling happily.
Yes, I do have few work to do, but the mood just isn't there...not when the office is so quite and you are using someone else's computer...alasan..alasan...
Plus, now that my blogging mode is on, I better post up some entries no matter how merapu it sounds..
The mood to blog came from spending my lunch hour during this Ramadhan month reading through my archives. I noticed that I heavily blog in 2005, 2006and 2007 with more than 30 entries per year. When I read through, it was nice to take a stroll down the memory lane and to reconnect with my past rants and rambles about life.
Then I found that I hardly blog in 2008, 2009 and this year. Reason being, increase family commitments, expansion of C.M.O.G, and the rush of Facebook era, which leaves blogspot unattended to. There's so many interesting (and not interesting) events in my life that I do not pen down.
And I seems to have lost touch with my blogger friends whom I have became a good friend of mine. Tau2 ada yang dah masuk anak tiga dah...emmm...
So now, I make an effort to start blogging (although dah berkarat) and pay a visit to my friends' blogs. This pretty much explains the three consecutive entries made within 4 days...it's a like a surge of addiction to blog:)
Next...blogspot makeover! Googling for free blogger template...found a good link from Eiseai's blog...
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Where is this ship heading to? - Part 2
Referring to Part 1, I mentioned that my goal for now is to obtain my long service award.
Why is that so?
You see, beginning of this year, I have this intention to retire early and become a stay-at-home mum. Well, this intention is always at the back of my mind since I became a mother 6 years ago. In fact, when I read through my archives, I saw this interesting tagged that I did way back in 2005 and somehow have this envision of me being working at home mother at the age of 38.
When I was a lot younger, the thought of becoming someone who stays at home and look after her kids 24/7 never came across my mind at all. Instead, I see myself as someone successful in climbing the corporate ladder. Someone at the age of 40 has become a head of department, leading about 20 or so subordinates. Angan-angan mat jenin..
But only one thing uncertain at that time. I don't know what I want to be. Doctor is definitely out of the story...what more in becoming a celebrity...haha..
You see, when I completed my SRP (Form 3), accounting is not something that I would love to pursue. My interest was in Science..Math and Science to be exact. I wanted to take Pure Science when I was in Form 4 (despite me hating Biology subject). But Abah insisted I took Accounting subject. So when I was offered a place in MRSM I took Applied Science - dropped Biology and take Accounting instead.
At that point of time, I did not have the slightest idea of what Accounting is (I'm not in commerce stream when I was in Form 3), so the notion of taking Accounting in Form 4 cringed me. Kena-kena pulak cikgu yang ajar tu assume all of us have basic in accounting. Come on man, I don't even know the difference between assets and liabilities..what more double entry...
I flung the first quiz we had. It was my first failure, so it hit me really bad. I cried hard, almost gave up on the subject. I called Abah all the way from Terengganu, blaming him for forcing me to take the subject. But I remembered Abah being so calm and convinced me that I am bright enough to master the subject. Then the good side of me took place..I put extra effort to catch up with the rest of the students. Pergi menuntut dengan kawan-kawan yang pandai, forced the teacher to have a one-to-one personal coaching session with me. It's not long before I managed to grasp the subject really well.
Despite the better score in Accounting, my love was still in Physics and Chemistry (and Additional Maths). With my trial result, I was offered to pursue my study in Canada, doing engineering course. I was happy for the news, but Abah was not. He wanted me to continue in Accounting..in Universiti Malaya to be exact. What??!!
We had a great argument that night. I said I want to pursue study outside Malaysia.
"How about Singapore?" I remember Abah saying.
"Singapore? Taknaklah...dah selalu pergi..and what with you and UM?"
"Abah fikir UM adalah yang terbaik. I can buy you a car if you study in UM."
"I don't want a car. I want to go to Canada. Not everyone got this kind of opportunity." "Canada is too far."
I'm in the verge of crying at that time. I guess Abah saw the huge disappointment of my face, so he then compromised...
"Ok, kalau nak study overseas jugak, the furthest you can go is Australia..and buat Accounting ye, nak. Abah kalau boleh nak Ija jadi Accountant."
So Accounting it is...in Australia...Now that I think of it, kalau pergi Canada, mesti tak jumpa Hubby..hehehe...
And then worked in a Bank...a development Bank..because Abah refused to let me work in a commercial Bank. It's a lot more pressure, he said, especially when you are at a revenue center.
So like I said, been there done that for the past 10 years...
Now back to the original topic, with the current turbulence and the not-so-nice working environment, I want to pursue my new dream. The goal to become a work-at-home mom, just in time to be there for Ashraff when he enters the mainstream school. Though one thing is always at the back of my mind - if Abah is still around, he would definitely go against me in this. And just like before, I would buy his reasons and follow what he said.
But looking at the ship I'm boarding now, it is going to sink anytime soon if the captain is still uncertain of its direction. So before it does, it's better if I jump to a new ship fast. But I need to grab some token from the current ship first i.e. my long service award first which I hope to obtain before the ship sinks...
In the meantime, an employment agency called me up to set me for an interview. This has drived me to update my CV which hasn't been updated for the longest time. Now that everything is updated, the thought came into my mind...hey, why don't I test the market and see what's I'm worth now?
Why is that so?
You see, beginning of this year, I have this intention to retire early and become a stay-at-home mum. Well, this intention is always at the back of my mind since I became a mother 6 years ago. In fact, when I read through my archives, I saw this interesting tagged that I did way back in 2005 and somehow have this envision of me being working at home mother at the age of 38.
When I was a lot younger, the thought of becoming someone who stays at home and look after her kids 24/7 never came across my mind at all. Instead, I see myself as someone successful in climbing the corporate ladder. Someone at the age of 40 has become a head of department, leading about 20 or so subordinates. Angan-angan mat jenin..
But only one thing uncertain at that time. I don't know what I want to be. Doctor is definitely out of the story...what more in becoming a celebrity...haha..
You see, when I completed my SRP (Form 3), accounting is not something that I would love to pursue. My interest was in Science..Math and Science to be exact. I wanted to take Pure Science when I was in Form 4 (despite me hating Biology subject). But Abah insisted I took Accounting subject. So when I was offered a place in MRSM I took Applied Science - dropped Biology and take Accounting instead.
At that point of time, I did not have the slightest idea of what Accounting is (I'm not in commerce stream when I was in Form 3), so the notion of taking Accounting in Form 4 cringed me. Kena-kena pulak cikgu yang ajar tu assume all of us have basic in accounting. Come on man, I don't even know the difference between assets and liabilities..what more double entry...
I flung the first quiz we had. It was my first failure, so it hit me really bad. I cried hard, almost gave up on the subject. I called Abah all the way from Terengganu, blaming him for forcing me to take the subject. But I remembered Abah being so calm and convinced me that I am bright enough to master the subject. Then the good side of me took place..I put extra effort to catch up with the rest of the students. Pergi menuntut dengan kawan-kawan yang pandai, forced the teacher to have a one-to-one personal coaching session with me. It's not long before I managed to grasp the subject really well.
Despite the better score in Accounting, my love was still in Physics and Chemistry (and Additional Maths). With my trial result, I was offered to pursue my study in Canada, doing engineering course. I was happy for the news, but Abah was not. He wanted me to continue in Accounting..in Universiti Malaya to be exact. What??!!
We had a great argument that night. I said I want to pursue study outside Malaysia.
"How about Singapore?" I remember Abah saying.
"Singapore? Taknaklah...dah selalu pergi..and what with you and UM?"
"Abah fikir UM adalah yang terbaik. I can buy you a car if you study in UM."
"I don't want a car. I want to go to Canada. Not everyone got this kind of opportunity." "Canada is too far."
I'm in the verge of crying at that time. I guess Abah saw the huge disappointment of my face, so he then compromised...
"Ok, kalau nak study overseas jugak, the furthest you can go is Australia..and buat Accounting ye, nak. Abah kalau boleh nak Ija jadi Accountant."
So Accounting it is...in Australia...Now that I think of it, kalau pergi Canada, mesti tak jumpa Hubby..hehehe...
And then worked in a Bank...a development Bank..because Abah refused to let me work in a commercial Bank. It's a lot more pressure, he said, especially when you are at a revenue center.
So like I said, been there done that for the past 10 years...
Now back to the original topic, with the current turbulence and the not-so-nice working environment, I want to pursue my new dream. The goal to become a work-at-home mom, just in time to be there for Ashraff when he enters the mainstream school. Though one thing is always at the back of my mind - if Abah is still around, he would definitely go against me in this. And just like before, I would buy his reasons and follow what he said.
But looking at the ship I'm boarding now, it is going to sink anytime soon if the captain is still uncertain of its direction. So before it does, it's better if I jump to a new ship fast. But I need to grab some token from the current ship first i.e. my long service award first which I hope to obtain before the ship sinks...
In the meantime, an employment agency called me up to set me for an interview. This has drived me to update my CV which hasn't been updated for the longest time. Now that everything is updated, the thought came into my mind...hey, why don't I test the market and see what's I'm worth now?
Friday, August 27, 2010
Where is this ship heading to? - Part 1
I know it's okay for an organization to undergo restructuring every two or three years to be in tandem with the change in economy, technology and government's policy.
But what with restructuring every two weeks?
Isn't that unhealthy?
You see, when you keeps on changing rapidly, somehow or rather you seems to have lost your direction, target and goal...and there's an exorbitant price that comes with it, which is in the form of low staff motivation that leads to unproductiveness!
And that's what an executive cabuk like me hates the most!
I hate living in a situation with no goal or motive. I'm the type that if I choose to go to a place, there must be something that I intend to see. I guess that's why I choose to marry Hubby in the first place, as for me he has a vision in life..a proper planning..a target. (Or do I marry him because he is a chatty type?)
So when this situation happens, I'm doomed. I'm like in the dark...buat kerja tapi tak tahu untuk apa...dan ke mana...
And after having to go through numerous numbers of restructuring process and throwing money outside the window, the latest rumours that I heard was we are going to be taken over by another institutions in October!
Oh come on! What happened to my long service award that I've been waiting for since the beginning of this year?
And to be eaten again? Gosh, the last 5 years memory is still fresh in my mind, and now I have to go through this again? Is this like an every 5 years event for me?
But when I ponder deep and long inside, a part of me wants this merger to happen fast. I can't stand having to work with no goal, no KPIs, no direction. With a so called new organisation, then there will be a breath of fresh air...i hope..
You see, when I first started working 10 years ago, I set myself a target My target was to be promoted every 3 to 4 years (considering I'm a fresh grad with no experience at that time). And because of that, I was self-driven. Pushed myself hard to achieve my level best. And I made it at the end of 2003! Took CCP course in 2004 to enhance my value, target to pass all papers at one go but terberanak pulak masa last paper tu..
Planned to sit for the final paper in the next sitting but at that time the Bank went into deep shit - change of management, restructuring over and over again, semuanya serba tak kena, so my motivation level dies of naturally. Eventually the Bank was taken over by a bigger capital Bank.
And after that, I worked like a robot, with no heart. Kerja sebab dibayar gaji.
I wanted to leave the Bank but the conservative Abah said "Sabar...things happen for a reason."
So here I am after 10 years, masih di takuk lama seperti 7 tahun dulu...
Now my goal is only one...I need my long service award!
...to be continued...
...to be continued...
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Look who's walking now!
Finally..the day we've been waiting for has arrived!
On 1st day of Ramadhan (11th August 2010), my baby walks! Wobble, Wiggle, Wobble, Wiggle all the way..The whole family was excited to see him walking...
On 1st day of Ramadhan (11th August 2010), my baby walks! Wobble, Wiggle, Wobble, Wiggle all the way..The whole family was excited to see him walking...
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Lotsa Birthdays!
In June
It's mine! My 33rd Birthday..old already, aye? There's no such thing as age is just a number. Dah tua, tua jugak..but I want it do it gracefully:)
For me being a wife and mom, having to hear the wish from my family is the best thing to happen on my birthday, but Hubby decided to give it an extra ummphh. He asked me out on a dinner to Favola, La Meridien Hotel. It was an Italian restaurant, headed by a close friend of Hubby's, Chef Ayie. So basically he got a special price from him..But anyway, without the special price, I find the price of food there is reasonable and affordable.
Here are some of the foods that we ate:-
Wow! To me that's more than enough for my birthday.
But that's not enough to him. Hubby handed me a birthday card. As I opened it I was mesmerized as the first thing I saw is Ashraff's sweet handwriting.
And I as I looked further down, I can see a birthday voucher for a day of pampering at my favourite spa.
Gosh! I almost cried. Thank you so much the most romantic guy I've ever known..for making my day on my birthday!
A very happy birthday girl..
Anyway, I've used the voucher last Sunday. What a bliss!
In July
It's Aqieff's 1st birthday! As per my previous entry, his birthday falls on weekday. But we decided to celebrate it that weekend at Bukit Tinggi, Pahang since we are heading East to attend my friend's wedding in Bentong.
Bukit Tinggi is a place where I wanted to go for the longest time but hadn't got the chance to do so. I thought of making it our honeymoon destination 7 years ago (7 tahun dah!) but Hubby opposed to that. Then, on our anniversary this year, I asked him again, still the same answer. But hajat tercapai when I proposed to him to make it a venue to celebrate Aqieff's birthday. So that weekend, we headed of to Bentong first.
Aik! Aqieff ke yang drive?
The bride, Ila looks extraordinary beautiful clad in a combination of pink and green wedding dress. Her partner pun apa kurangnya. Bagai pinang dibelah dua:)
Pengantin Baru dan Pengantin Lama
Ibu took about one week to prepare for his goodie bags, selit-selit dengan buat orang lain punya order.
It's mine! My 33rd Birthday..old already, aye? There's no such thing as age is just a number. Dah tua, tua jugak..but I want it do it gracefully:)
For me being a wife and mom, having to hear the wish from my family is the best thing to happen on my birthday, but Hubby decided to give it an extra ummphh. He asked me out on a dinner to Favola, La Meridien Hotel. It was an Italian restaurant, headed by a close friend of Hubby's, Chef Ayie. So basically he got a special price from him..But anyway, without the special price, I find the price of food there is reasonable and affordable.
Here are some of the foods that we ate:-
Wow! To me that's more than enough for my birthday.But that's not enough to him. Hubby handed me a birthday card. As I opened it I was mesmerized as the first thing I saw is Ashraff's sweet handwriting.
And I as I looked further down, I can see a birthday voucher for a day of pampering at my favourite spa.
Gosh! I almost cried. Thank you so much the most romantic guy I've ever known..for making my day on my birthday!
A very happy birthday girl..Anyway, I've used the voucher last Sunday. What a bliss!
In July
It's Aqieff's 1st birthday! As per my previous entry, his birthday falls on weekday. But we decided to celebrate it that weekend at Bukit Tinggi, Pahang since we are heading East to attend my friend's wedding in Bentong.
Bukit Tinggi is a place where I wanted to go for the longest time but hadn't got the chance to do so. I thought of making it our honeymoon destination 7 years ago (7 tahun dah!) but Hubby opposed to that. Then, on our anniversary this year, I asked him again, still the same answer. But hajat tercapai when I proposed to him to make it a venue to celebrate Aqieff's birthday. So that weekend, we headed of to Bentong first.
Aik! Aqieff ke yang drive?The bride, Ila looks extraordinary beautiful clad in a combination of pink and green wedding dress. Her partner pun apa kurangnya. Bagai pinang dibelah dua:)
Pengantin Baru dan Pengantin LamaThen on the way back, we dropped by at Bukit Tinggi. First a visit to the rabbit farm. Aliff was crying when we reached there. It turns out that his foot was sore. Laa..kasut dah sempit rupanya..kena beli kasut barulah nampak gayanya...
We changed him to his normal Crocs, and he was back to his normal cheeky self.
The kids had a marvelous time feeding the rabbit.
We then visited Colmar Tropicale, which is a must if you visit Bukit Tinggi. Lovely place. I found that they maintained the place quite well.
We stopped at a restaurant to have a short tea time and decided to cut the cake there.
The birthday boy was in a jovial mood all the time, alhamdulillah.
"Aqieff, I'm sorry that we do not have a bigger 1st birthday celebration for you unlike your brother's. After having three kids, Ibu Ayah thought it's just not worth it to have a big do for a one year old. We'll have yours when you are bigger. How about next year?"
In August
It's Ashraff's 6th birthday! Also my 6th anniversary as Ibu.
This time around the celebration is done at Ashraff's school, as insisted by the birthday boy himself. He wants a Spongebob Squarepants theme for his birthday celebration.
Ibu took about one week to prepare for his goodie bags, selit-selit dengan buat orang lain punya order. Ashraff was happy despite the small and brief do. He was surrounded by his friends, his brothers and teachers. Ibu, Tok Mak and Bibik pun ada.
Despite the happiness, Ashraff is not feeling well. You can tell it from his eyes. He was down with measles that evening. Poor boy..sakit ni dah sebati dengan diri dia..
So birthday in June, July and August are over and done with...
Coming up next..
In September
It's Ayah's birthday..during 1st week of Raya..
In November
It's Aliff's. He has been waiting too long for his birthday. When we bought a cake for Aqieff, he will be asking Aliff punya mana? And same goes when we did for Ashraff's. He didn't cry asking for his to be done immediately as he accepted the fact that his is in November (eventhough he doesn't now how long that's gonna take).
Cuma everytime there's birthday in the house, he will say
"Aliff nanti nak birthday Mickey Mouse tau Ibu."
Ok Aliff...I got you...
Having to think of it, the only month missing is October..so kalau nak try for no 4, kena aim for October delivery..hehehe..
Saturday, July 17, 2010
This is Ashraff, Aliff and Aqieff's Life...
ASHRAFF's LIFE
Ashraff's life revolves around school, cartoon network, PSP...and hospital.
Every 6 months since the middle of last year, he has to check-in at the hospital for various reasons - June last year due to dengue, December, appendix..and on 5th July 2010, ear problem. It was a dreadful event for all of us, to see him having to go through a painful recovery.
About a month prior to the event, we noticed that his hearing ability was deteriorating as he couldn't hear his father on the other end of the phone (while it is of no problem to Aliff). We thought it was just a case of stubborn wax that caused his ears to block. But since the ear drop doesn't work, he was referred to ear specialist. That is when we discovered it might not be just normal wax problem, as he feels pain in the ear (and not to mention itchiness).
Ashraff's life revolves around school, cartoon network, PSP...and hospital.
Every 6 months since the middle of last year, he has to check-in at the hospital for various reasons - June last year due to dengue, December, appendix..and on 5th July 2010, ear problem. It was a dreadful event for all of us, to see him having to go through a painful recovery.
About a month prior to the event, we noticed that his hearing ability was deteriorating as he couldn't hear his father on the other end of the phone (while it is of no problem to Aliff). We thought it was just a case of stubborn wax that caused his ears to block. But since the ear drop doesn't work, he was referred to ear specialist. That is when we discovered it might not be just normal wax problem, as he feels pain in the ear (and not to mention itchiness).
Ashraff was admitted on 5th July for the doctor to monitor him the whole day. We couldn't get a single room (gee, i hate that). To those who are used to the hospital environment, you might know how boring it is to be in one. And it makes matter worse when we couldn't watch the TV comfortably due to the position of the bed and the TV itself (kena tgk dari celah2 tirai). I was pissed off but thank God Ashraff was ok with it.
Ashraff was instructed to fast starting 12 am so I forced him to stay awake to take his 'sahur' before he sleeps that night. KFC for sahur..he ate 3 pcs of chicken at 11.30pm!
The next day he was brought to operation theater at 12 pm! This means he has to fast for more than 12 hours and that drives the 6 years old up the wall! It turns out that the doctor had to do 2 operations before Ashraff. Adoi mak...The wait was unbearable for both of us! (Just in case you are wondering, Hubby kerja macam biasa..orang ada 15 hari annual leave je. But he did came during lunch hour to see Ashraff).
Can you see my eyes filled with tears?
Ashraff was put under the influence of anesthetic at about 1 pm. Doctor needs to probe his ears, take all the wax out and see what's the problem deep down inside. It was a short procedure so about 30 minutes he was out, crying really loud! And what panics me was that I can see blood coming out from his ears, nose and mouth! Scary! I wanted to cry and scream really bad but I just had to remain calm and strong for Ashraff's sake.
Finally, he managed to doze off after an episode of crying and screaming.
Waking up complaining about his sore throat "Tak selesa tekak Ashraff ni."According to the doctor, his ears are filled with water..and he has some sort of inflammation at his throat so doctor had to take it out (nope, not tonsil). So the after effect was quite bad. Ashraff was complaining about his sore throat and also the dizziness due to the anesthetic. He was crying all the way...until the nurse gave him pain killer in the evening.
Later that night, he can smile..and eat normally. He ate soft and cold food..porridge and ice-cream. That's the thing about Ashraff. He recovers easily. Just like when he had appendix removed. Undergo operation at 12 am, and by noon he can walk already. Alhamdulillah. Even the doctor was surprised to see him eating normally the next day. The doctor told me that the boy who had the same operation before Ashraff (also 6 yo) is still energy-less and lying in bed.
So Ashraff was happily discharged from the hospital. Oh yeah, we got our single room as soon as Ashraff got out from the OT. All in all, we are glad everything went well...and I really hope Ashraff wouldn't have to check-in at the hospital in December. He was so used to the procedures that he even questioned the reason why he was put on drip..."Ashraff bukannya sakit perut pun...Ashraff makan ok je...". I have no idea how to answer that...
After having to go through the traumatic experience, suddenly I remember what the nurse told me when Ashraff got out from the OT "Kenapa tak sunatkan sekali dah alang-alang masuk OT?" Gosh! Why didn't I think of that? Oh no! Not again!
ALIFF's LIFE
In life, we meet people to set memories..and depart to remember them. That's what happened in the life of my 4 year old boy. On 9th July 2010, it was Aliff's last day at Taska Ummi Sarah. We decided to send Aliff to Ashraff''s school so that he got used to the surrounding before Ashraff leaves the school for Primary One next year. At least for the first six months in his kindy life he got a big brother to accompany him.It was a big move for Aliff (and me) as we have to say goodbye to Ummi, who has been taking good care of Aliff for the last two years. Personally I am blessed to meet Ummi when our maid decided not to come back to work for us. She did a great job. Aliff is healthy. Setiap kali badan Aliff susut lepas baik demam, hantar je rumah Ummi, Aliff terus gebu semula.
Not only that, Aliff also has to bid farewell to almost 20 of his friends including his two best friends, Rayyan and Faris. I gave Ummi kain ela as a token of appreciation, and she gave me tudung in return. We both were in tears. I do pasang niat to send Aqieff to Ummi if and should my mom's maid decides to go back to her hometown for good.
Then on 12th July 2010, Aliff entered school for the first time. It was a breeze for him as Ashraff is around. I don't even take any leave. I just send him at the gate and of he went inside, following his brother...and so far, he is excited to go to school everyday, alhamdulillah.
Despite that, he still misses Ummi. He didn't say it explicitly but this one time, he asked Mak (who fetch him from school) to drive pass rumah Ummi so he could wave goodbye. "Bye-bye kat rumah je pun takpe," Aliff told Mak. Alahai kesian..As for school, I hope by next year Aliff can be independent enough to stay on his own. For now, he depends a lot on Ashraff.
AQIEFF's LIFE
On that day, since both of us do not take leave, so he spent the day just like his any other ordinary weekdays:-
Woke up at about 7am.
An everyday journey to rumah Ummi to send Abang Aliff (masa ni, Aliff belum pergi sekolah lagi), then to rumah Tok Mak together with Abang Ashraff who is still on MC (after 3 days in hospital).
A greeting from Bibik...and a birthday wish..
Ibu Ayah dah balik ofis! As usual, upstairs playing with Abang Ashraff and Abang Aliff.
At the age of one, Aqieff is very much a baby to us. He still could not walk..unlike his two brothers who walk at 11 months. He is still cradle to sleep with a rocker (an infant-to-toddler really helps). And if he is matured enough, he is still a baby to us, no matter what:)Happy 1st Birthday, Aqieff! Ibu, Ayah, Abang Ashraff and Abang Aliff love you so much!
We had a simple birthday celebration at Bukit Tinggi, Pahang that weekend.
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