Everything is so new to me

So this is the B.L.O.G that I always overheard Ibu telling Ayah all this while?! Very interesting...

Opps! Sorry for not introducing myself. Hi, it's me ASHRAFF. Today, I managed to use this computer without Ibu's knowledge. Ibu is not feeling that well, so I took this opportunity to use her computer and search for her BLOG. Wow! I can see that she's been writing a lot about me and sharing my photos with all her cyberfriends.

The last entry she made, I can see that there's new human being's photo being posted there. Yeah, it's ALIFF. People told me that Aliff is my little brother and I should love him like I love Ibu and Ayah. Okay, everything caught me by suprise and I'm confused by these new changes in my family. First, there's moving creature inside Ibu's tummy, which Ibu encouraged me to talk too. Ibu in fact told me that his name is Aliff. Well, I love talking to this little Aliff.

Then one day, Ibu was admitted to the hospital. Atok Abah and Atok Mak brought me to the hospital to see Ibu. I greeted Ibu as she was pushed out from the labour room using a wheelchair. Ibu was happy to see me. She said "Hi Ashraff!". I replied "Hi! Ibu shakit (sakit)?" How did I know Ibu is not feeling well? Tok Mak has briefed me number of times on the way to the hospital, that's how. In the room, I noticed Ibu macam nak nangis je. I don't quiet understand why. But when Ibu told me that "Malam ni Ashraff tido dengan Tok Mak ye", I started to feel sad myself. I've never slept with anyone other than Ibu before. But I just nod my head coz I understand Ibu has to rest at the hospital as she's in pain. Tok Mak cakap Ibu sakit sebab keluarkan Aliff dari dalam perut. But where the heck is Aliff?

The next day, I was brought back to the hospital. I bought along a gift which Ayah told me is for Aliff. What's so special about Aliff till he deserves this gift? As usual, I was greeted by Ibu's warm smile as I walked inside the room. But this time around, I noticed a small cot besides Ibu's bed with a little baby sleeping soundly inside it. Is that Aliff? I walked slowly to the baby cot. Ibu said "Ashraff, ni Aliff." Tok Mak carried me so I could get a clearer sight of Aliff. Merah-merah muka dia. Keciknya dia. Then, I gave Aliff his gift. To my suprise, Aliff had a gift for me in return. It's Barney VCDs! Oh, I'm excited. Thanks, Aliff.

The next two days, Ibu was discharged from the hospital so she could go home. Yey! But, wait a minute. Ibu is carrying that little creature by the name of Aliff. And what's that boy doing snuggling at Ibu's chest? Ibu said "Aliff nak minum susu". Minum susu? Mana botolnye? Boy, am I curious? That moment, I was introduce to breastfeeding by Ibu. I still don't quite get it but what I know Aliff got his source of milk by latching on to Ibu's breast. Ibu told me "Ashraff dulu pun macam ni". Huh? Yuckss!

That day too, I suffered from a runny nose. I really need Ibu's warm touch to comfort me. I want Ibu to carry me. But Ibu refused to do so. Ibu said "Ibu sakit, tak boleh dukung Ashraff". I cried "Ibu dukung Ashraff! Ibu nak dukung!" But Ibu just shook her head. Oh yes, I'm crying and I noticed Ibu cried as well. I heard Ibu said to Tok Mak "Mak, kesiannya tengok Ashraff..Dia nakkan Ija (that's Ibu)". Oh well, this is all because of Aliff. Aliff lah yang buat Ibu sakit macam ni. Kalau Ibu tak sakit, mesti boleh dukung Ashraff.

With the presence of Aliff, I never got to sleep with Ibu at night. Ibu told me gently "Aliff ni kuat nangis waktu malam. Ibu takut Ashraff tak boleh tido. Ashraff tido ngan Tok Mak ye." Aliff ni, ada-ada je. What more could this little creature do to me?

Not enough with me having to sleep with Tok Mak, I also noticed Aliff seems to be clinging to Ibu 24/7, so I didn't get the chance to be with Ibu alone like before. Everytime I ran to Ibu's room, Aliff is always clinging to Ibu's chest, either he's breastfeeding or sleeping on Ibu's chest. Ibu told me "Aliff ni sakit perut, so dia kena tido macam ni. Dulu Ashraff masa baby pun tido macam ni jugak." Oh, whateva...like I can remember...

There was once or twice when I ran to Ibu's room, Aliff was nowhere to be seen. In this case, I would ask "Mana Aliff?". Aliff is either with Tok Mak or Bibik. I took this opportunity to be with Ibu. I will lie on Ibu's lap, kiss Ibu, hug Ibu. I miss her dearly. Nevertheless, I noticed Ibu makes an effort to be with me, despite Aliff's clinginess. She would accompany me to watch my favourite TV series. She would read me my favourite books, while Aliff is breastfeeding. She would give Aliff to others so that she could 100% concentrate on me. Kesian Ibu..She looks tired. I also found that I'm closer to Ayah, Tok Mak, Tok Bah and Bibik now that Aliff is always with Ibu.

Everything is so new to me though I live in the same house with the same people. I felt I have to do something to get people's attention, or else it will be Aliff, Aliff, Aliff. Some of the things I did:-
1. Pecahkan tutup teko Tok Mak and bunga kaca Tok Mak. Tok Mak was very angry with me. Dia ambik serpihan kaca tu and toreh tangan Ashraff. Sakitnya! I cried loudly. Ibu tengok aje I kena marah. No one wants to help me. Later, when I've calmed down, Ibu told me not to do it again. Ibu said "dulu dia pun kena macam tu lagi kecik". I wouldn't dare to touch on Tok Mak's things again.

2. I turned to a more fiercer young gentleman. If before, I've known by my family as a very social person, now I'm no longer that friendly. I hate it when people look at me when I play with my toys. I noticed people would look and smile at me while I played and talked to my figurines. Read this, I HATE IT. The next thing you know, I'll come to you, tell you straight at your face "Jangan senyum!" and kick your leg. Numerous times, Ibu, Ayah and Tok Mak have scolded me for kicking people around. There was once, Tok Mak tied my feet and left me in Ibu's room all alone for 10 mins. I cried my heart out. I then promised Tok Mak and Ibu not to tendang-tendang lagi, but do I keep to my promise? No, I don't.

3. I will disturb Aliff everytime he's sleeping or breastfeeding. I will smacked his head. Initially Aliff cried whenever I did that. But lately, he doesn't seem to care. Probably he's immune to what I did.

4. I want to be a baby again. Kalau Ibu tak boleh dukung, then Tok Mak and Bibik are forced to carry me. I want to be bath in a basin just like Aliff.

I don't know what happened to me. Whether I like it this way or not, I do not know. But I do admit, I'm jealous with the all the attention Aliff got, especially from Ibu.

But ironically, I do adore this little creature by the name of Aliff. I found him to be cute and amazing. I like to kiss him, whenever I got the opportunity too. I showed him all my Ultraman's figurines, and he looks at it with amazement. If before, Aliff spends most of his times sleeping, now he can interact with me. I always said "Aliff tengok Abang Ashraff". And he'll look at me and start cooing. When he does that, I'm very much thrilled. Kadang-kadang Aliff akan mengeliat, and nampak macam dia buat Ultraman hand/pose. I told Ibu "Ibu, Aliff buat Ultraman hand" and Ibu will laugh. Ibu said "nanti Aliff dah big, Ashraff boleh main dengan dia."

I like Aliff's eyes, it's black and shining whenever he looks at me. I feel like poking it with my fingers but Ibu disallows me to do it. I will also pulled Aliff's hands and legs and Ibu will yell everytime I did it. I just want to play with him. He's so small and fragile, just like the "baby cat" we have.

I guess it took me quite sometime to adjust with the new surrounding. I could now accept that Aliff is my baby brother. After all we share the same surname. Kalau Ayah tanya "Ashraff bin apa?" I would reply "Ashraff bin Mohd Fitri". Aliff? "Aliff bin Mohd Fitri jugak." Kalau Ayah tanya "Ashraff handsome macam siapa?". I would say "Handsome macam Brad Pitt." Aliff? "Aliff macam Beckham." Ayah said it's because Aliff's hair is like Beckham. I do not know who's Beckham, but I do know Aliff's hair is like Fiq from Mentor.

Well, do I still feel jealous of Aliff? Oh yes, I do. And do I still do unexpected things to get people's attention? Oh yes, I definitely do. Can I share my toys with Aliff? Not now!

Opps, guess I've written long enough. It feels a lot better to be able to express my feelings by writing. No wonder Ibu is sooo addicted to blogging! Anyway, Ibu will be back soon. She'll be suprise to read this entry. Well, I hope she knows what I'm feeling when she reads this. So, long B.L.O.G!