It wasn't easy this time around...

I felt sick all day. It wasn't as easy as the first time.

I am 7 weeks pregnant. I am happy and grateful to Allah for granting my prayers to conceive the second time. Just like what we have planned, a two-year age gap between our Ashraff and his baby brother/sister. Alhamdulillah.

It is too early to shout about and tell the whole world. But I just think I have to share the pain and worry I am going through...

The first ultrasound image of the gestational sac does not look good. According to the Obgyn at the maternity clinic that I visited, the sac looked unstable. A normal gestatinal sac should show a 'double sac sign'. Meaning which, there is a thick outline of white in colour surrounding the sac, which is black in colour.

This is how the normal sac looks like.
But mine, the line is vague. It was not as clear as Ashraff's. Doctor asked me few times (like as if she does not believe of my answer) whether I have any spotting and bleeding. My answer is 'No'. So far so good, alhamdulillah. What she told me next scares me to death. She told me only 15% of pregnant women is in this condition. 15%!!! Like out of 100, only 15 women shared the same experience! Yikes!!

I asked her the reason for this. She told me that my pregnancy hormone is low. Thus, the sac is unstable. So, she gave me this medication called 'Duphaston' which is very pricey indeed. RM3 for one tablet and I have to take 2 tablets a day. She gave me 20 tablets so all in all, it costed me RM60 for Duphaston alone, excluding the consultation and folic acid cost.

I don't mind the price, just as long as the feotus inside me grows normally. Hubby advised me not to worry that much. I tried not to think of it that much but as you sit alone (like sekarang ni), I kept thinking of the situation I am in. If only I have one ultrasound machine at home, I will do the scanning every day and see how it goes!

And I feel sad for not having to be able to carry Ashraff everytime he wants me to do it since the sac inside me is too fragile. There are times when Ashraff insisted me to carry and cuddle him, but all I am allowed to do is just to kneel down and hug him. Though he still jumped up and down wanting me to carry him, but I just can't. And I have to asked Hubby or my maid to do it. Ahhhh...I feel bad...

Now let me tell you the Duphaston effect. It was bad! I feel nausea and vomitting every single meal that I consumed. I do not like the taste of plain water. Every morning, I have to drag my feet to work. I am completely flat during last weekend. I could not accompany Hubby to Sogo and KLCC to search for his new backpack. I could not cook for the family. And here I am sitting in my office room, feeling dizzy after a round of throwing up, writing this entry.

It wasn't this bad with Ashraff. I am energetic. Pregnancy that time was great! My face glowed throughout the whole 40 weeks. I only suffered a mild 'night sickness' during the first trimester, and that's it!

Guess, it is totally different this time around. I have heard people saying that the first trimester effect is due to psychology...Hmmm...and some said it is due to age factor...Hmmm...And another said can be due to metabolism rate...Hmmm...I would say that it depends on your luck.

Whatever the effect might be, I just wish that everything goes out well for the baby and me. I hope in my next check-up which is due in two weeks time, I would be able to see the heartbeat of my unborn baby. I just hope that I could enjoy this pregnancy just like I did the first time...Please pray for us...