30 years ago...

An sms from a good friend of mine, which I've just received this morning...

"30 years ago,you were born. Today, you are a successful business woman, wife and mom of two lovely boys. Cherish the moments you have now. Have a smashingly happy birthday, Rafiqah dearie!"

Yup, today is my 30th birthday!! Like 3-0! Am I the 3 series already?!

Yup, yup.

Except for the "successful business woman" part, the sms is so true...
I am grateful that at the age of 30, I am happily married to a man who loves and understands me (and also the first to wish me happy birthday, all the way from London).
And are blessed with two handsome boys, who teaches me the meaning of responsibility and patience.
And are secured with a permanent job which pays me salary without fail every end of the month.
And a good helper to help me taking care of the kids while I'm away making end meets.
And parents who never fails to support me in everything I do (and sings a loud "Happy Birthday" song to me this morning while I was having my breakfast).
And a mother-in-law who treats me just like her own daughter.
And good friends who are there for me, giving me shoulder to cry on whenever I need it.
And cyber-friends whom I've never met but leaves me comments and visited my blog every now and then.
And a good health.

I couldn't ask for more (except maybe for a greater increment and a good bonus at the end of the year...hehe).

Although I may say, it gives me this teenie weenie creep when I woke up and realised that I'm no longer in my 20s and that no "3" is a sign that I am older. But it is also a sign of maturity. It's a signal for me to change myself from bad to good, from good to even better. So, there goes "Age is just a number".

Happy 30th Birthday to myself. Hope I have a good year ahead....

Ok, terkeluar sikit dari topik asal but tak lari jauhlah...
Everytime birthday ni, I selalu terasa yang I'm older than my hubby. Like I'm already 30, but he's still 29. He was born in September, like 3 months younger than me.

And talking about the 3 months gap ni, Ashraff was born in August so dalam surat beranak dia tulis "Umur Ibu semasa lahir = 27 tahun, Umur Ayah semasa lahir = 26 tahun". Hangin tau!
So, from then on, we all kena make sure that no more babies to be born in between 28th June and 15th September. That's why Aliff was born in November. "Umur Ibu semasa lahir = 29thn, Umur Ayah = 29 thn". Kan sedap sikit bunyinya...hehehe...

The (quite) long interval.

What's up with me for the past two weeks?

Busy with office worklah, apa lagi. But that's not the only reason..
Other reasons are:-

1. Our computer network is out in the office for the whole of last week and yesterday. Kejap ok, kejap tak. So, I couldn't check email, browsing the net, blogging or blog hopping for like 7 days?! And office is the only place I could access the Net for free...

2. I have other blog which I just started. It's for my lil homie business, CreateMyOwnGift. Do check it out and leave your comment to win our personalized newspaper.

Guess that's bout sum up what's happening in my life for the past two weeks.

Oh yeah, one more thing. My Hubby is in London currently. He left like the last two Saturdays and only will be back this Sunday, which makes him not presence in our house for like two weeks. And I thought I'm use to not having him around because that's his line of duty, outstation and outstation again. But hey, this time around, I have to admit I miss him a lot. And it makes things worse having Ashraff to ask "Mana Ayah? Mana Ayah?" every now and then. Guess the whole family is missing him. Even my Mak and Abah told me this morn that "It's never the same without Fitri around".

Really look forward to seeing him this weekend...with his guni ala Santa Claus (ni dia yang cakap sebab barang banyak, dengan orang pesan lagi...).

So yeah, that's it. Nothing interesting. Just the same old routine...

Ada Apa Pada Nama?

Ehem...I was tagged by Aliah's mom, so thinking I was quite free this morn, might as well I do it before the work comes rushing in.

REQUIREMENTS : Write about what or how or why you gave the name(s) to your kid(s). QUANTITY: 5 people

TAG MODE: Firstly you leave their blog and post link and add to the list below and secondly you let the blogger you want to tag know that he/she has been tagged by commenting in his/her blog or etc

Before we even have kids (or before I even pregnant), we have discussed on what kind of name to be given to our little angels. We come out with three requirements -

1. The name must have good meaning.

2. The name must blend well internationally.

3. The name must be short. The shorter the better. Only one word will do. And kalau boleh, that word could not be further shorten so much so that we are force to call him with his full name.

Why do we have such requirements?

Requirement no 1 - standard. Semua orang want a good name for their kids.

Requirement no 2 - Sejak kat sekolah lagi I dah bernekad akan bagi an easier name for my kids sebab some people have a hard time pronouncing my name - Rafizah, Rafikuah, Rafi etc. Urgh...I hate it. In Australia, I ended up introducing myself as Eliza coz that's easier to pronounce. Itupun depa pronounce as Elaiza. Urgh...I hate it too.

Requirement no 3 - my name has three words (including my dad's). Lenguh tangan nak isi borang UPU. Hubby's name has two words (his alone), so if I gave my kids another 2-word name, plus the bin/binti, jadi 5 words. Lagi lenguhlah tangan depa nak tulis.

Early in my pregnancy, we've choosen a boy's name that suits all the three requirements above. I guess because me and hubby wanted a boy so much, we ended up not looking for a girl's name at all. So, when my gynae told me that we're going to have a boy, we were thrilled and ecstatic.

So, a prince it is. And he was named Ashraff. Full name? Ashraff bin Mohd Fitri...hehehe...

In kitab, Ashraff carries the meaning "Yang Mulia". At first, we were contemplating on how we want it to be spelt - Asyraf or Ashraff. We then decided on Ashraff with an extra 'F' because at least kalau dia study overseas pun, people can still call him as Ash. Gempakkan? Hehehe...

All in all, it was an easy selection process. Me and hubby shares the same objectives and goals in this so it makes thing easier.

With our second one it's even easier.

Out of the blue, one day Hubby suddenly said "Kalau anak nombor dua pun lelaki, kita namakan dia Aliff nak?"

I replied "Aliff? Best jugak nama tu. Bolehlah...Apa makna dia?"

"Tak tahulah. Tapi sure baik punya..."

"Yelah kan? Macam Alif, Ba, Ta..."

That conversation took place long before I was preggy no 2. Early planning is crucial. Hehehe...

When I was preggy again, I had the feeling it's gonna be another boy. I have a very strong instinct at that time. Or is it because I want another boy just to accompany his big brother? Or another boy to keep me active and running and teaches me the meaning of patience? Perhaps.

And alhamdulillah, it was. And whether it was a coincidence or not, at that time I was preggy, my sis approached me and asked "Hey kak, dah ada plan nak bagi anak nama apa this time? Kalau belum dapat nama lagi, I would suggest Aliff."

So, Aliff it is. Nama penuh? Aliff bin Mohd Fitri. And up till now, I don't quite know the meaning of Aliff. Could not be bothered checking. But I think it should carry a good meaning.

Now, kalau ada rezeki, for no 3, I want a girl. And follow suit, also a girl to accompany her big sister. I've got names line-up for the girls. And I've briefly told hubby and he seems agreed to it. As I said, early planning is a must nowadays *LOL*. But I don't mind another active lad. Cumanya, we don't have any boy's names left in our list-of-our-children-names. So, if it's gonna be another boy, I think we would have a hard time in selecting his name.

So, ada apa pada nama? Everything!

msau the meaning of SQ and Kiki

shopping mum the meaning of Justin and Isabelle

Judy Chow Terry S

hannon Rachel

Samm Gordon and Malcolm

Sasha lil J Mott 2 Monkeys

Fatty Poh's Fatty Boy

Kd NAMI & MIMI D

Abg Z Abg H Princess & Litle D DadofFour Siti Khadijah, Muhammad Yusof, Siti Kauthar, Muhammad Ibraheem and Muhammad Umar

Minahsongeh Camillia, Camarina, Cqistina

IzreenFara NadyaAzureen

Lolyta Haris

Nana Sarah Nur Aliah

Rafiqah Ashraff & Aliff

5 people to tag:

1. Momma-Mia

2. Haariz's Mom

3. Zahra's Mom

4. Ibu Haziq

5. Aysh's Mom

Wanted to tag Eiseai, but I remembered she had made an entry about giving names to her two boys before. Maybe next time...

Keeping Track of Discounts?

As I reached home yesterday, Mak gave me a piece of letter. It's not a letter actually, but more of a catalogue from C1mb Bank, detailing the list of benefits you can get by using / carrying their credit card.

10% discount at this, this restaurant.
Get your hair-cut at this salon, and get 15% discount.
XX% discount at this, this, this...bla, bla, bla...and the list goes on.

Interesting?

But how do I keep track of all these discounts?

Let me see, I've got few cards in my purse (credit card cuma satu, managed to get rid of the others)....And all come with a set of benefits and priviledges.

Most of the times (or is it all the time?) I regretted not using the cards I've got to make full use of the discounts offered. Not that I don't want to, but seriously tak ingat that this card entitles me a discount if I dine-in at their restaurants, or bought stuff from their outlets. Like bila dapat a catalogue like yesterday, barulah terasa macam "Eh, dapat discount ke kat sini? Le..baru je spend duit kat sana. Tak ingatlah guna card ni boleh dapat discount."

Kedai tu pun satu. They seldom remind us that you can use this card to get discount. Or probably the cashier itself pun couldn't remember what card gives what discount. So, it's all up to us. Kalau-kau-nak-jimat-duit-kau-ingatlah-sendiri kinda thing.

So, any ideas on how I can keep track of the discounts? Any system? I can't go on carrying few catalogues everytime I shop, right? That wouldn't be practical. Plus, kalau I go on reading the catalogue while "menjelajahi" KLCC for example *ala-ala baca peta kalau sesat*, orang kata minah ni kiasu pulak. But orang tak kaya macam hamba ni, discount penting beb...RM3 punya savings, lepas makan tengahari hamba untuk satu hari....

The many faces of Aliff

An attempt to take Aliff's photo for his passport:-

Phewwwhh...

He got cranky with all the flashes of the camera. Tak boleh jadik model anak aku ni...

So, which one did we choose?

The first one. That's the best that we can get. And it was accepted by the Immigration Dept. Now, that particular photo is on Aliff's passport.

And the rest of the funny looking photos are on my blog-:)

'Epidemic'

I can't refrain myself from blogging. That's how addicted I am to this blogging world. Hmmm...

Ok. The scratching-head-and-pulling-hair-session at the office is finally over. Now I can breathe. Temporarily that is. I know my boss is just giving me the space to breathe a little before he starts overloading me with work again. Things are never the same again around here. Not until we get a replacement for a collegue of mine who just left the company for greater opportunity outside. And also another collegue who just took an unpaid leave for one month, followed immediately by 2 months maternity leave (and she doubt whether she'll ever return to the office). To top the pressure that is fuming here, another collegue is tendering for resignation end of this week. So, we are short-handed here. Very short-handed. Of course, the unfortunate ones like us are being pressurized to take up the portfolios of the resign staffs. Sakit tenat. And we do not know how long this will last *sigh*.

People moving out from the company is not the only 'epidemic' which took place in the office lately. Another 'epidemic' is a situation which I labelled as "Jambatan Roboh" - a situation where there were miscommunications among collegues leaving them not communicating to each other. Hmmmm...

What can I say about this?

I was one of those people who involved in this office conflict before. It all happened six years ago, the year I started working right after my graduation. I have to admit I was naive when I first entered the corporate world. Not only I was experience-less, I was also clueless about office politics. And the best part was, I thought everyone was a good-hearted, transparent, open minded and trustworthy soul. Little did I know that some people are back-stabbers, talam dua muka and busuk hati.

Because I was naive, I trusted most people. And I told them what I honestly think about almost everything - boss, other collegues, work. At the same time, I was also short-tempered and very sensitive. Semua benda kecik adalah besar. Semua benda nak masuk kepala. Semua office gossip mesti nak dengar. At the end of the day, I was haunted by negative feelings. And one slight mistake can caused my blood go upstairs.

During my first year working, I had entered an argument with this female friend (well, I thought she was a friend), leaving us not talking to each other. Orang kata terajak perahu boleh diundur, terlajak kata badan binasa.

Do I feel good? Not at all. I felt bad. You know the bad feeling that you got when you are not talking to someone, despite who's fault it is. It somesort of haunting you. You could not sleep well at night because you could not stop yourself from thinking about it. Yeah, that kind of feeling. So, I took the step to approach her and apologize but she was playing ignorance and did not budge. Thus, the thing prolonged. At least, I felt better because I've done my part.

I learnt my lesson from there. Thanks to my mother from giving me some good guidance and office tips, which I implement and practice till today. Mak, throughout her working life, has gained respect from her bosses and collegues. Even her bosses, called her Kak Adah. And if you know my mother, she's the quiet type. Tak banyak cakap, lebih banyak berfikir and senyum. I can't even remember when Mak actually nags at me. She hates nagging, coz she thought nagging uses lots of energy with little result.

Anyway, back to Mak's advices, she told me that in the office you have to be cautious in every move you make. Try to limit yourself from delving into other people's personal issues, or in other word, stop gossiping. The least time you poke your nose into other people's business, the better you will be. After all, it is not work-related, so tak tau pun takpe. But if you want to listen, then do as it says - just listen. Jangan tokok tambah dan jangan menyampuk.

Mak also told me that should there be any person, say Mrs A, who confide in you about other people, for example Mrs.B, just listen. But keep your mouth shut after that. In other words, don't go and sampaikan cerita itu pada orang lain, or worse still, sampaikan cerita itu directly pada Mrs. B. Senang cerita, sampai-menyampai is a no-no in the office. It can make small issues bigger. And it might be trapped you in the end when people find out you are in the actual whistleblower. You'll ended up not talking to Mrs A and Mrs B.

From what I deduce from Mak's advice, it's better to keep our mouth shut and concentrate on our work. Of course you can socialize, you can enjoy listening to gossips (but do not gossip) but at the end of the day, just zip your mouth and act like you know nothing. If someone comes to you and asked question like "Betul ke dia tu macam ni, macam tu?". Just answer politely that you do not know and you don't intend to know, eventhough in actual fact, you have heard quite a lot about that person before.

Oh yeah, another good advice by Mak is not to leave your water bottle on the table, especially if it still contains water in it. Hide it. People could put microelements in it for some ill intention.

Now move on to my father pulak. There was also this one time when he told me on the way to office that "The work itself is not hard. What makes it hard is because you have to deal with human behaviour".

I completely agree with him. In work, you have to deal with lots of people. And as a front liner like me, I have to deal with clients that most of the times pushed you to the edge with their 1001 requests. And to get things done, you have to push other people too - finance people, HQ people (I'm in branch), legal, compliance...name it. So, to make other people do work for you is not easy. You have two choices - be harsh and bossy type, or create a good rapport with them so they'll help you in return. I chose the latter. Get to know people. Make friends with them. Don't forget to smile eventhough they do not smile to you in return (orang ni kadang-kadang "urat senyum" dia putus). Write nice emails to them asking for a favour. Talk nicely to them over the phone. Don't forget to smile coz your smile can be 'heard' over the phone. Choose your words properly.

As for the first choice i.e. harsh and bossy type, that one can easily cause "jambatan roboh" with other party. They are lots of people like that in the office. And personally, I don't quite like that kind of style. Memang sakit hati kalau kena suruh dengan orang macam ni. They talk to you like you ni kuli diaorang sedangkan you are just the same level as them. Or even if you are lower level than them, that gives them no right to main suruh je orang sesuka hati dengan menggunakan perkataan yang kasar. I hate to admit, I was one of them before. Like I say, I'm short-tempered. But you tend to grow in age and maturity, so you have to adjust your way. I left this kind of behaviour long time ago. I'm happy with what I chose to be.

But I'm not happy bila I yang kena herdik atau disuruh seperti kuli. If someone did it to me, I'm pissed of. Kalau dulu, I akan jawab balik, with equal intonation and choice of words. But now, I chose to keep quiet. And do what is asked to do. I was this type of person once, so I know how they actually behave. Orang macam ni panas cepat, sejuk pun cepat. So bila dia dah sejuk, dia akan datang kat kita, cuba cakap dengan kita. Some did apologise, but some just cuba berbaik dengan kita semula sebab dia tau dia dah terkasar bahasa dengan kita. So if they did approach us, talk to them nicely like nothing happens. Try to smile eventhough your heart bleeds. Or if you are bleeding badly inside and couldn't face this chap, perhaps you couldn't give them any feedback initially, but don't prolong this matter. The next time she/he tried to talk to you, do talk to them in return. Or if dia dah malu nak approach kita balik sebab his/her first try was a failure, then you go and make the move to talk to him/her. Or write an email to her. If she/he is your friend, perhaps you can tell her that you are hurt by what she says and give suggestion on how she can improve things. Some people can accept this, if they are cool enough. If we do not take necessary steps, then 'jambatan roboh' situation will continue. And you don't actually feel good after all.

Mak also told me that it takes two to tango. It takes two people to get involve in an argument. And it takes two people to mend things over. If any of the two people is jenis yang berkeras hati, sampai bila-bila "jambatan roboh tidak akan dibina semula". I guess that's what happened around me here. "Jambatan roboh di sana-sini". I harap I takkan terjebak in any of them....After all, we spent more time in the office than at home (minus the sleeping time that is). So, you tend to see the people in the office more than you see your loved ones at home. Thus, try to minimise the probabilty to get involved in office conflicts. It can make yourself feel miserable. I tau, I pernah terjebak sebelum ni-:)

Disconnected!

I'm taking a 10 mins break from my very busy schedule. Busy sangat2 cam rasa nak pengsan.
This week alone, twice I left the office at 10.30 pm. Sampai2 rumah, bebudak dah tidur:(

And I think this busyness will go on till next week (hopefully). So, I am disconnecting myself from the blogsphere (and the internet) and hope to return to the cyberworld once this commitment is over. Please pray for my return...(cam bagus je bunyinye).

To my friends, whom I have not reply your email or not returning your call, or not visiting your blog, I'm sorry. InsyaAllah, I will catch up with you soon...

So for now, Rafiqah is in hiatus...chow...

Money, oh money...

It's the talk of the town - The BIG salary increase for civil servants.

And who is happy?

Mak, of course.

Mak cakap "Duduk rumah jaga cucu pun boleh dapat duit lebih tiap bulan."

Bestnye!!

This is the best part if you served the government for all your life, like what Mak did.

Revision of pencen.
Free medical benefit from government hospitals and clinics (kat dalam kad medical tu Abah jadi tanggungan Mak so Abah got to enjoy free check-up at HUKM as well).

And another person who shares the joy?

My MIL.

She also served the government throughout her working career.

Me?

Masuk angin keluar asap. Still waiting for increment.

Semua harga barang sudah naik...Cash outflow naik tak ingat punya *lap dahi kat peluh*
Tapi cash inflow masih static. Masih ditakuk lama.
Parahhh...

So, what should I do?

Some advised me to find a new job and request for big jump in salary. Sometimes that's the best way to do it.

But I'm comfortable where I am now. Last 15th May is my 7th years working in this company. Kalau mau carik keje lain pun, mana mau pergi? My experience is in finance industry so that's where I end up to be. And it's so damn challenging nowadays.

My target is to breakfree from this industry. I want to do something that I love to do. Enjoy to do.

So bila target tu mau capai? Tu lah yang tak tau lagi. Plan dah ada. But too scared to make a move. Coz there's a price I have to pay if I want to make that switch. In monetary terms. Tengok-tengok, kaji-kaji, if you want to start something fresh in another area, then you have to forgo the pay that you earn currently. Meaning which, you have to settle for a lot lesser. Hmmmm....yang ni lah beratnya. Dengan cost of living yang semakin naik, how can I afford it?

Ishk...ada orang nak offer saya keje kat public sector tak? Mana tau boleh jadik macam Mak and MIL bila retire nanti. Dok rumah je, duit dapat lebih tiap bulan.

Hmmm...Bestnye...

Updates - Pt2

Last week, when I was attacked by the fever and flu bug, I was dysfuntional as a mother. Almost one week, I was all flat and weak. Except for co-sleeping and night-feedings, the rest of the day I left the mothering part to my maid (which I have to say is the last thing I want to do). Seriously, I have no energy left to even lift my head, what more to entertain the kids. Usually, when I suffered from fever or flu, I cuba tak nak layan penyakit tu. I'll continue doing what I usually do and pretend that I'm not sick. After a while, penyakit tu will go away. But this time around, it was different. I seriously sangat-sangat tak larat.

But alhamdulillah, with the help of stronger antibiotics, my fever vanished. And I'm all recharged to become a wife and mother again. Alhamdulillah jugak the kids tak menjangkit penyakit demam teruk itu. Ashraff did suffer from a mild running nose, but after one day of medication, it was cured.

Talking bout the the boys, I really want to update on their development. Yeah, I did make LOTS of posting about them, but it in terms of development it was all bits and pieces here and there. So this is for my own personal record.

Updates on Ashraff

Finally, after 6 months of becoming a big brother to Aliff, Ashraff has learnt to love and do justice to his brother. He no longer smacked, pulled or bite Aliff. He also no longer fights for my attention especially when I'm busy attending to Aliff's needs. He also has learnt to share some of his things (yang mana dia tak berapa suka) with Aliff. He has in fact turned out to be one protective brother to Aliff. If he sees Aliff put something sharp or hard in the mouth, he will say "No makan!" and tried to take the thing away from Aliff. Or if he sees Aliff rolled-over to a place where it is quite dangerous (like tempat tinggi ke), he will say "Ibu angkat Aliff. Letak sini (a safer spot)."

Recently, we've exposed Ashraff to lots of English movies. Animation one that is. Amongst Ashraff's collection include MonstersInc., Barnyard, FlushedAway, Garfield2 and Shr3k1. Some parents might dislike the notion of exposing children to all these movies. In fact, at first I demured the idea as well. But Hubby told me that's how he actually learnt English when he was kids. By watching TV. Being raised in kampung with non-English speaking parent, that's the best way for him to learn. Fair enough, I agreed.

And after a while, I find it works really well with Ashraff. His English vocab expanded. Of course, what he did most of the times is to imitate the characters in the movie. And because Ashraff ni jenis yang kuat berangan (ehem...of course that one he got it from me..hehe), so I found him most of the time talking alone with himself...or sometimes with his toys. And he uses the scripts from the movies that he saw. Adakalanya macam tak sesuai je letak ayat tu kat situ, tapi yang penting he can say the sentence properly and we understand what he's trying to say. Contoh macam hari tu, Aliff nak ambik one of Ashraff's drawing yang bersepah-sepah kat lantai. Ini memang pantang besar bagi Ashraff. So, he tried to snatch the drawing away from Aliff and he said "No thanks, okay!" dengan muka yang cukup tak puas hati. I'm like huh?! Nape pulak ayat tu kat situ? I immediately asked him "Cerita apa tu, bang?" Ashraff jawab "Cerita Shrek. Shrek cakap kat donkey." Hehehe....I didn't tried to correct him though. Let it be. He'll learn to use the sentence appropriately one day.

Of course, he has watched the movies or any DVDs in his collection (either educational or non-educational like Ultraman CDs) for 100,000 times so he has memorized most of the scripts. At times, even before the character actually said it, dia dah cakap dulu.

I'm not that worry if Ashraff spends his times in front of TV because most of the times he actually spent in front of the TV, but did not watch them. Maknanya TV je on, but he did something else like playing with his toys or do some drawings. It just happened that his playroom is also our family TV room. In the evening, he'll usually spend his time lari-lari keliling rumah. He'll 'help' atok abah mending the garden. He has his own set of equipment so he could do exactly like what atok abah did. And at night, I'll try to read both Ashraff and Aliff book before they retire to bed.

Now, Ashraff hardly naps during the day. So he'll sleep at about 9 pm at night and wake-up at almost 9 am the next morning. 12 hours of sleep in a day for Ashraff. Should be enough. But if he happens to nap in the day, he'll sleep like almost 12 am at night. Penat jugaklah nak tunggu dia hingga tidur.

Hmmm...what else. Okay, knowledge-wise. Ashraff knows his shapes - circle, triangle, square, rectangle and oval (thanks to Baby Einstein CD and some practice with Ibu and Ayah...hehehe). He can say all the shapes well, no pelat. He can also identify the shapes everywhere. For example, steering wheel is circle, door is rectangle, door knob is circle. He usually tested me with his knowledge like he will ask me "Ni shape apa?" while pointing at an egg.
"Errr..ibu tak taulah. Why don't you tell me?"
"Oval!" giving me the cheekiest lil smile.

He masters his colours as well - blue, red, green, black, yellow, orange, gray, brown, white, pink and purple. He also knows how to count object now. But he still doesn't quite recognize numbers. He only knows no 1 and 8 (kenapalah tetiba 8 pulak ye). And alphabet, he still doesn't know. I wanted to start on Alif, Ba,Ta with him but I really need to find time for this. Seriously.

Now on drawing. This seems to become his favourite past time. He can draw triangle now. He also draws Shrek, with the long ears and ada round bit kat hujung. He even tried to draw bird nest, with 3 eggs inside. And monsters and ultraman (with one horn). Basically he learnt how to draw by looking at us drawing. He'll gave us pen and paper and by using his wild imagination, he'll instruct us to draw. This is the fun...but the most tricky bit especially when you are not born a natural artist like me. Here are some example of his wild imagination that we (the adults) are persuaded to draw for him:-

"Draw rumah Pontian (my MIL's house)."
The we drew rumah pontian.
"Draw bird nest. Atas trees."
Then we drew bird nest and tree.
"Lukis eggs"
Then we drew eggs inside the bird nest.
"Lukis satu egg pecah. Ada baby bird."
Then we have to draw that.
"Draw bird fly"
We drew few birds flying.
"Draw cloud"
We drew as instructed.
"Lukis rain"
Then kita buat rintik-rintik hujan.
"Lukis Ashraff."
Yang ni kena buat full body.
"Lukis Ibu"
"Lukis Ayah"
"Lukis Aliff".
Done. So we got Ashraff, Aliff, Ayah and Ibu kat rumah Pontian. And sebelah rumah pontian ada trees, which have bird nest with three eggs inside. One egg is hatched with a baby bird inside. It was raining at that time.

Another scenario.
"Draw TV"
I drew a TV.
"Mana tempat tekan-tekan dia?"
So I had to draw the buttons on the TV.
"Draw table"
Kenalah draw TV cabinet, exactly like the one in the TV room, with one big and long drawer containing Ashraff's toys.
"Draw toys"
I thought I got away with it by saying "Toys kat dalam drawer. Drawer tu tutup so tak boleh nampak toys".
But this lad got a better idea...
"Draw toys sepah-sepah kat luar drawer"
So I had to draw his ultramans, cars, lorries, blocks, crayons, papers, semuanya berterabur di luar drawer. Phewhhh! *lap dahi kat peluh*

But that's how he learns how to draw. After few times looking at us drawing, he'll try to draw on his own. I have to say I was mesmerized by his drawing skills.

One thing about Ashraff, in terms of soft skills, he is kinda a bit slow to catch up. Only recently he knows how to take off his own shoes and how to open the door. He still doesn't know how to take off or wear his own clothes. Or even wear his own shoes. I tried to let him do it by himself but all he keeps saying is "Ashraff tak pandai." Tak tahulah dia memang tak pandai ataupun dia malas nak buat. I still insist by saying "Ashraff kan pandai...cuba Ashraff buat, Ibu tengok." Dia terus buat muka dek, like bukan dia yang nama Ashraff. Dia punya gaya tu ala-ala "So what kalau tak bukak shoes, kita masuk je dalam rumah dengan shoes" or "Kalau Ibu tak bukak baju ni, tak payah mandi..." Kadang-kadang tu grrrrr betul tengok dia when he started to take that "degil" approach. But I think it's battle not worth fighting for. So, I buat jelah....I'm sure one day he'll learn to do these things by himself.

He also still not toilet train. In fact, we do not make any effort to train him. I'm sure if it was my old maid, Ashraff will be toilet train by now sebab bibik dulu tu selalu cakap "Bila dia dah 2 tahun nanti, kita ajar dia k*nc**ng dalam tandas, ye Puan". But she left before Ashraff reaches 2 yo. With this maid, dia couldn't be bothered kalau kita tak suruh. And this ma'am pulak, belum ready nak train Ashraff. So, let it be dululah. Anyway, no one walks down the aisle with diapers on. So, why create unnecessary pressure and stress to rush things?

Phewhhh!! Guess that's a long update for Ashraff. Now on Aliff.

Updates on Aliff

This little cherub of mine completely idiolises his brother. Everytime he sees his brother jumping or running, he will scream and jump up and down excitedly. Like trying to join in the fun tapi apakan daya, tak dapat kaki lagi...But at times when he is hungry or sleepy, he hates it when his brother comes and "gomol'ing him. Dia cepat rimas.

One thing I noticed after starting giving Aliff solid beginning of this month, he has started to become more active. Probably it's a growth spurt. If before, he seldom rolled-over, now dia pantang letak, terus tiarap. It makes me think whether I've been depriving him of solid before. But the development was tremendous. Unlike Ashraff who moved in vertical movement, Aliff doesn't know how to moves forward or backward. Instead, he maneuvers by rolling and sweeping the whole floor. He rolls really fast, and by the time you know it, dia dah terperuk kat bawah meja.

Because he's the type that rolls even in his sleep, there's no way for us to put him in the crib. He HATES it, big time! We tried but he simply loath the idea. People told me because we did not train him to sleep in crib from day one. But Ashraff pun tak tidur from day one jugak, but he's okay in the crib till today. That's because maybe Ashraff jenis yang tak lasak masa tidur. Aliff, on the other hand, very the lasak masa tidur so he doesn't like it when his space is confined. Even at night pun, if he bumped into me, he'll wake up crying. Ishk....So, looks like tak lama lagi, once Ashraff graduated from the crib, we'll have to dismantle the crib and campak dalam store (till next baby arrives).

Recently, Aliff has started to "angkat punggung". It's either he wants to crawl or sit on his own. I presumed he'll skip crawling and terus duduk. My MIL told me hubby and his siblings did not crawl. So, looking at Aliff yang sebijik muka ayah dia, and the glaring contrast with Ashraff in terms of development, I have the feeling he's gonna skip crawling as well.

This angel also loves to coo. He coos more than his lil brother at this age. But senyuman dia sangat mahal especially with strangers. He, unlike his social butterfly brother, has strong stranger's anxiety. He'll cling to you as though there's no tomorrow if a stranger approach him. Macam anak koala, okay?! This is a new thing I have to deal with. With Ashraff it was much easier coz Ashraff jenis tak takut orang. So anyone can come and take him away. With Aliff, he'll cry everytime a stranger tried to talk to him. So, kalau bawak gathering ke apa ke, ada sikit susahlah...But, I'm sure that's a just a phase and it will pass after sometime.

In terms of meal, Aliff still eats instant cereal. But I intend to make him home-made food, something which never works out with Ashraff (Ashraff is such a picky eater and he won't eat home-made food when he was a baby....we tried to cook but...hey, it was a long story). Aliff, unlike his brother, looks like he loves to eat. He enjoys eating. Macam mulut burung.

Ok, what else on Aliff. Anything else? I guess that's it. I don't know what's his current weight were because we have not weigh him recently. But terasa semangat jugak angkat dia sekarang. After all, he eats three times a day and have milk in between meals. Oh yeah, talk about milk, he still fully breastfeed. Belum campur. But since he started on solid, my milk stock increase balik sebab supply exceed demand sekarang ni. Yippee! Less pressure to pump nowadays..hehehe...

Oh yeah, Aliff has started to love his car seat. It was harder to train him to sit in the car seat because unlike Ashraff, there's no help from a good friend called 'pacifier'. So, bila dia nangis in the car seat, we had trouble soothing him. But we persevere. We did whatever necessary so that he is well-trained in car seat. With two boys, I insist on the use of car seat coz I don't want them to be chasing each other in the car later on. Plus of course for safety reason. At times, Aliff still cries but it is lesser than before. I hope this difficult part of training will pass soon. We did it with Ashraff. And we hope we succeed with Aliff as well.

Hmmm...guess that's all about the boys. They are the apple of my eyes. Raising them is a part of joy and part of guerilla warfare...That's why I love them both, very dearly.

Updates

On Moi

For the whole of this week, today is the only day I'm working. I was on MC from Monday till yesterday. It started with a bad sore throat on Friday evening, followed by normal running nose and mild coughing on Saturday. But on Sunday (which is supposed to be my third Mother's Day), I suffered from quite a severe fever so I'm all flat and weak. Doctor prescribed me with antibiotic . It felt better after a round of antibiotic but after like three to four hours, the feverish feeling started again. And then after two days, I started to shiver especially during the night. I have problem getting a shut-eye. It was so uncomfortable with running nose (or blocked nose), coughing, shivering...and then tetiba rasa kebas kaki dan tangan. I can't remember when was the last time I kena demam teruk macam ni. Mak gave me air asam to basahkan kepala so that panas dalam boleh keluar. I felt better. But only temporarily. I still couldn't sleep at night. And I lost my appetite. Tekak rasa pahit. And everytime makan, I rasa nak muntah (nope, I'm not pregnant).

On Wednesday I couldn't take it anymore so I decided to go for further check-up. Doc suspected I had dengue fever so he did a blood test. At that point of time, my temperature has already risen to 39.2 degrees celcius. Kepala rasa cam nak pecah. Badan rasa melayang-layang. Tekak still rasa loya.

Alhamdulillah, it wasn't dengue (or else I wouldn't be in the office today). Instead it was a viral fever. My white blood count was so low so it couldn't fight with the virus in the blood. Doctor prescribed me with stronger antibiotics. Two of them - one to be taken before meal and another after meal. And doc immediately gave me a jab to quickly reduce my temperature. After two rounds of antibiotic, I felt a lot better. And alhamdulillah, I can work today. My tekak still rasa loya but I've gained my appetite back. I still do feel slightly weak, but this was way better compared to before. As a result of almost one week of fever, lost of appetite and sleepless nights, I lost 2 kilos much to my dismay. I don't quite like my "cengkung" look.

And talking about sleepless nights, I still could not sleep well at night. For example, last night I could only sleep at 3 am. For no apparent reason. Now, I'm scared I've developed some kind of insomnia. That's even harder to cure. Oh please, let me have a peaceful slumber tonight...

On Hubby

Hubby is officially a frequent job hopper these days. He has just landed a new job in one of Malaysia's biggest shipping companies which is a subsidiary of Malaysia's biggest oil and gas company. Job function, still the same. The good old InternalAuditor.

He'll be joining this company middle of next month. He has met his new team leader (which turns out to be a lady) and got to know that his first assignment is in the city of L0nd0n!! Wuhuuuu!!

Ehem..I'll love to join him just like what I did four years ago when he had to audit a subsidiary of his old company in L0nd0n. But I don't like the idea of travelling alone with the two kids on an 11-hour flight. And neither do I like to leave the kids at home while I fly and join him in L0nd0n. So, I'll pass on this one.

Ehem...but don't worry I'll come out with a long list of wishlist..hehe..

All in all I'm happy that he managed to secure a job in this company. This company and the company that he currently works in (which will end this June) are the two companies that hubby aims to work in since his graduation day. The only thing the latter company is a bit too far from our house. So, when he got this new offer, I'm happy for him. At least it'll save his travelling time and money (in terms of fuel and toll). The most ultimate reason why I'm happy is I don't have to take LRT anymore! We can go to work together-gether like before, which I think is the best time for us to communicate and discuss things.

So, I guess since hubby got what he dreamt of, I presumed this will be his last job till he retires. No more job hopping after this, betul tak Hubby?

On the Two Boys

Ishk..tak sempat nak update hari ni. Nak balik dah ni. Minggu depan je lah sambung.

The Inquisitive Minds.

Today's paper reported that 303 children are missing this year making it a total of 6,000 children altogether. Pretty alarming right?! When things like this happened, the first party to be blamed on is the parent. When I look at this kind of report with that kind of statistics, it immediately send shivers down my spine. Being a parent itself is such a tough job. The toughest job with no pay...Fuhh!

Anyway, that's for any parent to ponder on. But, that's not the topic for today. (Tu cuma intro je ok?!).

Today's topic will be on Children’s Inquisitive Minds.

It all started on one fine Saturday afternoon, when a mutual friend of me and hubby sent
his 5 yo daughter to my house. He said that her daughter was bored at home. Her Ibu had to work in Thailand and she was left with bibik and her sister who hardly can speak. Her Ayah wanted to play futsal (dengan sape lagi kalau bukan dengan my dearest Hubby). So, she wanted to play with Ashraff. Fair enough. In fact, I looked forward to it (which is so unlike me before..like before I got a child of my own).

I know this girl as an intelligent, articulate and flexible (in the sense that she can adjust herself to play with either a typical boy or a ladylike princessy kinda girl) little cherub.

Ashraff actually looked forward to seeing and playing with Kak Dalila (yes, that’s her name). Biasalah Ashraff, dia akan suka main dengan orang tua daripada dia. Kalau sebaya ada susah sikitlah.

They fused immediately. By the time I made sure that the food is ready, Ashraff and Dalila have started running around the house, playing “catch me if you can”. I didn’t quite like the idea of kids running around the house, so I brought some art block and some art materials which consists of crayons, colour pencils and water colour all in a box.

“Ibu Ashraff, Dalila nak buat painting.”

She called me “Ibu Ashraff”? So cute and funny. Hehehe..

“Dalila, please call me Aunty ok? Not Ibu Ashraff.” I replied, oncle my giggle subsided. “Are you sure you want to do painting? Nanti kena pakai air, takut tumpah.”

“Tak. I promised I won’t mess this place. I akan paint dalam ni je” while her finger follows the outline of the art paper.

“I’m sorry. Tu bukan maksud Aunty. Aunty takut Ashraff terlanggar air tu. Nanti tumpah.”

“I promise I’ll jaga the air.”

So she did the painting religiously. And Ashraff did some art work with his usual crayon and colour pencil. He only stopped just to look at what’s Dalila’s doing. He’s mesmerized by the way she did the painting.

“Ni buat apa ni?” Ashraff asked Dalila.

“Ni painting lah” Dalila jawab.

“Dalila tulis apa tu? Orang ke? Mana kaki dia? Hand dia?”

“Kejaplah. Nak buatlah ni. Dia pakai skirt. And this is tree.”

After a while the children got bored with painting and drawing. So I moved on to next activity i.e. watching “Happy Feet” (you know the story of the singing penguin).

This is when the very, very curious mind took place. Sudden rush of questions came out from Dalila’s mouth. Like a chain reaction. Question, follow-up questions, new sets of questions. It started with some basic questions… and later build up to much harder questions.

My brain is working really hard. Spinning macam gasing.

“Apa nama penguin ni?”

“Errr…kejap let me check *read the synopsis on the DVD cover* Oh, his name is Mumble.”

“Mumble? Kenapa dia mumbling ke bila cakap?”

“Tak lah. Ibu ngan Ayah dia nak bagi nama dia Mumble.”

She’s satisfied with that answer and move on to the next set of questions.

“Kenapa Mumble ni takde yellow kat badan dia? Yang lain semua ada?”

Ha’ahlah kan...Kenapa pulak macam tu yek? I hear myself thinking.

“Mumble is err..special. Penguin yang lain semua boleh nyanyi. Tapi Mumble tak boleh nyanyi. He can only dance. “

I know I’m not answering the question directly becoz I really don’t know the answer. But Dalila seemed happy with my reply. That's more important.

Oh, ada lagi new set of questions.

“Kenapa semua tempat ada ice?” (U know like the ones in Artic or Antartica).

“Because it’s so cold, so all the water freezed to become ice.”

“Tapi kenapa ada water pulak kat bawah dia? Bukan ke kalau ice kena dengan water it will melt? Kenapa tak melt pulak?”

Darn! How do I answer this?

Errr…. “Oh, that’s because it’s so cold, so kalau kena dengan water pun it won’t melt. It’s so cold so the ice is very thick and won’t melt. It’s cold in Antartica, Dalila” I replied grinning, like kerang busuk. Seriously I got to brush up my knowledge pertaining to this matter.

“Kenapa cold pulak? Kenapa tak hot?”

What?!!

“Oh, that’s because Allah dah jadikan tempat tu sejuk…”

Hehehe…not a good one but she seemed satisfied.

And there I was, thinking I would be able to concentrate on the movie when suddenly the movie scene showed a walrus from underwater, knocking a big hole in the ice and landed on top of the ice.

“Ni apa ni?” Question came from Ashraff.

“Ni nama dia walrus.”

“Nose dia macam elephant lah.” Dalila concluded.

“Eh, tadi Aunty kata ice tu thick. Kenapa boleh pecah pulak?” asked Dalila.

What?!! Think, Rafiqah. Think.

“That’s because the walrus is so big and strong. It could break the ice.”

Ok, she seemed satisfied with the answer.

Then, the scene showed mountain covered with snow.

“Eh, tu mountain kan?”

“Yes.”

“Kenapa ada mountain pulak? Tadikan cuma ada ice and water?”

“Oh, just now tu laut yang dah freeze jadi ice. Yang ni mountain pulak.”

Ok, not a good one.

“Kenapa mountain ni warna white?”

“That’s because it’s covered with snow”

Simple.

“But why ada warna gold?”

“That’s because the sun shines at the mountain. Those gold colour tu tempat sun shines.”

“Hah? Kenapa ada sun pulak? Tadikan aunty cakap tempat ni sejuk? Kalau ada sun, kenapa ice tu tak melt?”

Goodness me! How do I answer this? Seriously. I am totally blank. But I tried to smile even though I started to feel a bit panicky. This is even harder than sitting for an IQ test!

“Dalila, errr…let me try to find you the answer. Aunty kena baca sikit pasal tempat ni, boleh?”

“Ok.”

By the time the movie ended, I am exhausted from having to build up the muscle in my brain and what not.

And oh, I never did read about Artic or Antartica. Dalila forgotten about it coz the next time I saw her she didn’t ask the question again

But that’s not the point. The point is it's a miracle when you can actually see the world through a child's great sense and wonder. We as adults are too busy catching up with bigger issues like politics and economics (or making end meets) that we tend to take other small things for granted. We don't even pause and think the way a child thinks. We don't even take time to look at our surrounding and ask questions of nature and science. We thought we know coz we "makan garam" a lot earlier than them. But the fact is we don't know. Or we forget something that we have left years ago.

So when we are put in situation like this, we tend to think "Hey, banyak rupanya benda yang saya sendiri pun tak tahu."

And me having to learn a lesson here, have to prepare myself for this. Soon Ashraff will reach this stage where he’ll have such an insatiable appetite to know and explore things that he sees, touches, hears and smells.

Even now he has started asking questions, but very much simpler as compared to Dalila. Mostly just to verify what he knows (and feel proud when he could correct us). And some just genuine questions.

For example…

“What’s that?” while pointing outside the window (his finger touches the window).

“That is car's window”.

“Taklah. Tu cloud”.

Ok, how am I suppose to know that he’s actually pointing at the cloud and not the window itself?
“What colour is this?”

“Blue colour” Tok Abah jawab.

“Tak. Ni green colour. Tok Abah cakap blue.”

“Ala sorrylah Ashraff. Tok Abah ni tak nampak. Ha’ah ni green colour” my colour-blind father replied. Hehehe…

“Dalam ni ada apa, tok mak?” sambil tunjuk tangan dia.

“Dalam ni ada darah, isi, urat…Nampak tak line-line ni. Tu lah urat. Dalam urat ni ada darah. Sebab tu kalau Ashraff jatuh, nanti keluar darah.”

“Mendarah ke?" Ok, Ashraff pelat sikit when it comes to “ber”. All “ber” jadi “men” like mendiri, mentukar, mendarah…

“Ha’ah. Berdarah.”

That’s some of the questions asked by Ashraff. Tak mencabar. At least, not for the time being. But like I say, it started with easy ones and as they grow bigger and the curious nature develops, the easy ones will later build-up to more challenging questions. Haaa…masa tu barulah kita tahu langit tinggi rendah.

Phewhhh!!! So am I prepare to face the challenge? Tungguuu….

Meanwhile, how do I do with answering Dalila's questions? Ok tak?

Weekend Getaway?!

What would you do when you are running low of budget for a weekend getaway at somewhere exquisite, out-of-city kinda thing? You spend your time in the city (or somewhere near the city), of course!! So that's what we've been doing all weekends, plus the recent long holiday.

For example, last weekend, Hubby decided to give the family a treat...so off we went to MuaraSeaf00d at P0rtKlang (towards NorthPort). It was my first trip there. We left home at around 6.30 pm and stopped half-way to perform our Maghrib.

While waiting for our turns to perform prayer.

We reached MuaraSeafood at approximately 8pm and the place was already bustled with people, fighting for food. Ok, I may be exaggerating on the "fighting for food" part, but yeah, the crowd was great.

If you intend to eat at MuaraSeaf00d, first you got to know the system. Or else, you'll wait forever for the food. The system works like this - first, choose your seafood be it fish, prawns, squids etc. Then, queue up to place an order - nak udang goreng tepung ke, steam fish ke etc. Then, they'll give you an order sheet. Find a seat and wait for someone to come to take your order for drinks. Then wait for the food and drinks to arrive.

So tip no 1. Do come with at least another two person in order to expedite the process of getting food. One person could do the queueing up, while another one search for the vast choice of seafood. The second person will the past the seafood bulk to the "queing-up" person for him to place the order. In the meantime, another person could search for a place to seat. If you don't do this, then you will wait forever for the food. Reasons - the queue is tremendously long and seats are limited (actually banyak but the crowd is greater).

Well, considering the crowd, the service I can say was good. We didn't have to wait long for the food to arrive. And my oh my, the foods were yummylicious. I had the most scrumptious meal of the month. Let me see, Sotong Goreng Tepung, Udang Masak Cili, and Siakap Stim. Yumm, yumm...

Except for the steam fish that just arrived, the rest are just leftovers.

But, since the drinks came long before the food, so we've run out of drinks once we've finished eating.

The 'culprit' who finished up my drinks.

Thus, we want to re-order some drinks. And that took us a loooongggg time, and hubby punya Coke terus tak sampai. So tip no 2, compromise on the what to drink and order them in jar so you don't have to re-order. Apparently, re-ordering is out of the system. So, the possibility for the drink to arrive late (or not at all) is huge.

All in all, it was a good dinner and we had fun.

So go and have a try at this MuaraSeafood. The seafood is fresh plus you'll enjoy the sea atmosphere. I did.

In another weekend, just what we normally did, we paid a visit to KLCC. Kalau takde idea nak pergi mana je, pergi KLCC. Cuma this time around we brought our camera along and took photos everywhere and acted as though we are tourists from Singapore *LOL*. The thing is when you born, raised and still live in KL you tend to take things for granted. It's either you couldn't care less or you are just too shy to do it. But it's pretty sad when you look at your photo album, there's not even a single photo of KL's famous landmarks like KLCC for instance. And when you look at your MIL's album in kampung, they have photos taken infront of KLCC and you go something like this "Eh, eh, kita takde pun gambar dekat KLCC kan?!".

We want to make it happened that weekend. And also during the long holiday where we brought the kids to KLCC park where Abang Ashraff could burn his energy (yang banyak tu).

Now we have photos of KLCC in our album-:)

As for the park, Ashraff had fun running around and perspire badly (pecahkan lemak..as if he had any). One second he's here and the next second he's there. And Ayah has to do the chasing coz Ibu was tied up with Aliff - Aliff nak breastfeed, Aliff nak makan, Aliff nak tidur. Tough job for Ayah coz Ashraff lari laju. And menyelit pun laju coz he's small. Ayah? Hehehe...had trouble menyelit ok...So, not only Ashraff burnt his energy. Ayah pun.

Basically that's how we spent our weekends. Have fun in the city. We are running a frugal life now. Save and save and save. Ok, stop "poyo"ing and accept the fact. We need to save money for the holiday which is like in 4 months time. Yippee! So, for now kenalah bertahan...

Off topic. What do you get when you take Ayah's face, xerox it and reduce the size?
You get Aliff!!

Sebijik kan?

Dah 6 bulan dah?

Aliff is Half-A-Year old yesterday!

Rasa macam tak percaya. Day in and day out tetiba dah 6 bulan dah...

Here's some photos of the 6 months old chap with his brother, Ashraff...

Finally after 6 months, Aliff got his first taste of solid. Not a good one to start with. Ayah has brought all the essentials like n3stl3 plain rice and a bunch of other flavours but he left it at his office. Ibu, on the other hand, could not wait another day longer to feed him solid. So the only food we had was a teething biscuit we got from my friend son's birthday party. That becomes Aliff first meal...and we gave him at KLCC park yesterday. He loves every bit of it! But after few minutes nibbling on the biscuit, Aliff khayal and nak tertidur pulak...shessh! Mamat ni memang kuat tido! Balik dari KLCC, I asked Hubby to buy plain cereal for Aliff. Ibu dah tak sabar nak bagi Aliff makan, okay..So, I feed him the cereal later in the night, before he went to bed (mungkin not a good time to eat, but tak sabar punya pasal). It was much easier as compared to giving Ashraff his first meal about two years ago. Yang tu horror ok?! Like jerit-jerit, tarik bib, pegang tangan...macam berperang habis! But this one, is more in a tranquil mode. Probably he is much more ready to eat as compared to abang. Or probably he loves to eat, which is so unlikely abang. Another glaring contrast between Aliff and Ashraff . Nampaknya I have to deal with rainbow personalities from the two heroes. Sesungguhnya mereka berdua memang mewarnai hidup ini...Heh, emo pulak Ibu ni!

Happy 6mo son!

Moi, on a personal note, is thrilled that I managed to exclusively breastfeed Aliff for 6 months. Something which I thought was impossible to do but managed to pull through. Thanks for all the support I got from Hubby, Mak, Abah, my MIL, R1t@ from M0mslil0nes, friends whom I contacted during my initial days of breastfeeding (you know who you are). Thanks, thanks and thanks...

*********************************

Another little creation from my humble creative corner:-

Photo courtesy of Madam Izreen.

I did this for Hana's Baby Shower at Madam's adobe last Saturday. It's more of a pot luck thingy. This kinda pemalas lady when it comes to cooking really doesn't know what to cook and bring, so I ended up making this personalized chocolate wrap for the occassion.

Now, I'm working on few more designs for birthday parties and weddings. Saja suka-suka coz I love designing...graphic designing that is. And printing. And make something out of it...hehehe...

Oh, thanks Izreen for inviting me and my two boys to your lovely house. We had fun (except for Aliff yang starting to develop quite a severe strangers anxiety). And oh yes, I got to meet Zetty secara live for the first time. All these while, we just communicated thru blogging. And it was also my first time meeting Fina's charming Mr. Alex. Dah 7 bulan ok mamat tu. What else? Oh the food! How can I forget that. It's simply scrumptious - the asam pedas, the masak lemak, the curry, the brownies, the noodles, the veggies..ahhh...You guys are great cooks! Nasib baik I got my cranky Ashraff and clingy Aliff to stop me from eating non-stop.

Hope to see you guys again, perhaps in next gathering...

And now I'm looking forward to attend "ForumSuperMoms : MenjengahKeibuanSejati" co-organized by UKS, Munawarrah and Majalah Anis this coming Saturday at PJ. See whether I'm up to become the next SuperMom..hihi. And hope to meet some of the virtual friends I made thru UKS Y@h00gr0up.

Notes between Mother-and-Son

A note from Ashraff to Ibu:-

Ibu,

I may not know how to sleep on my own.

I may be demanding in some areas.

I may cause you and Ayah a lot of headaches.

I may make cause your 'blood go upstairs' most of the times.

I may not be a perfect son to you and Ayah.

But I can really draw.
And I love to draw.

Please enjoy my masterpiece.



You know, I did this all by myself, without any help from you, or Ayah, or any adults.


I wanted to sell my art piece for RMXX amount of money, but you told me you want to keep it as a momento. A priceless keepsake, you said.

So Ibu, do you think I qualify to become the next Leonardo Da Vinci?
But, on one exception though…
Don’t ask me to use paint and glues.
There are so yucky!
I hate them.
I only work well with pens, pencils and crayons…and nothing more.

You know I got extra praise from Mrs. ArchbOld in class last week when I happened to draw something similar to this. I overheard her telling you that what I did was exceptionally incredible coz kids my age could only scribble and some are in the process of learning how to hold a pen correctly.

Are you proud of me Ibu?

Yours truly,
Ashraff.

A reply note from Ibu:-

My dearest Ashraff,

Of course I am so proud of you! In fact, I almost cried when your teacher showed me your piece of drawing last week. She was so impressed with your art work.

Ashraff, you really can draw.
Well, at least that is one area where you can sit down and really concentrate on doing, instead of jumping and running around.
I know you hate working with paint..so finger painting is not an option here. I won’t force you to do it.

Hey Ashraff, do you know that I caught you, following the outline of the ‘Ultraman’s Head’ drawn by Tok Mak with your pen few times. And once you master the shape of the ‘head’, you tried drawing it on your own. And you got a perfect looking shape just like the one Tok Mak did, and than you add your own version of ‘Ultraman’s eyes’. Simply fantastic! I praised you there and then, coz I’m so proud of you…

And I’m also pleased that you do not show your flair of arts by creating murals at the wall. You tend to search for paper everytime you feel the urge to draw. That is so dear of you.

Please continue drawing coz I love to see your piece of arts, no matter how they turn out to be. In arts, there is no right and wrong…

If that answers your question, yes, you can be the next Leornardo Da Vinci.

Love,
Ibu.

****************************

A note from Aliff to Ibu:-

Hi Ibu!

Sorry for the prolonged delay in writing you this note. I have trouble copying and pasting my latest photo on this note. Now that I managed to do it, so here goes.

Last 2nd of April, I turned 5 months old. Big boy already huh Ibu?

I’ll make sure you remember to make a posting everytime I turned one month older and don’t forget to put the photo as well. You know why? Because I don’t want to end up like Abang Ashraff’s photos. You lost all the soft-copies of Abang’s photos when he was a baby. How sad!

You are fortunate, though, since you got it all printed out before the incident happened. But then, you did not label according to the date the photo was taken. So when you developed the photo in one shot, the dates taken are all jumbled up. Thus, when you have a look at the album, you can’t actually determine what age Abang Ashraff was at the time the photo was taken. Pretty sad, I know.

I don’t want that to happen again. So, if you do not make a posting on me, I’ll make sure I send you this note so you won’t forget. You tend to be forgetful lately, Ibu.

Anyway, here is a photo of me on the day I turned 5 mo:-


I weight 7.8 kilos now. My weight increases but on a declining rate, just like what happened to Abang Ashraff last time. But not to worry Ibu. As long as you feed me well, I should be okay. Plus I’ll start on solid next month, so that will ensure I thrive well.

Okay, some of my developments. I prefer to jump on my two feets rather than roll-over. I no longer need to be swaddled to sleep. In fact, I hate it now. Please let me free so I could roll over on your bed as much as I want too.

I know I bumped into you at night, and disturbed you from your peaceful sleep. I think it’s about time you put me in the crib instead of co-sleep on your bed. Furthermore, I think Abang Ashraff actually outgrows his crib. Thus, it should be passed down to me.

Invest in a nice bed for Abang Ashraff. He’ll love it.

So Ibu, please don’t forget to record my development every month, and most importantly, include the photos as well…hehe..

Love, Aliff

A reply note from Ibu:-

Thanks for reminding me Aliff. I’ll make sure I do it every month. But should I forget, write a similar note like this. I really appreciate it.

Oh yeah Aliff, happy 5 mo son! You’re a big boy already.

I’ll take note of your notion to buy a new bed for Abg Ashraff. Will discuss it with Ayah. We need to act fast before you stumble off the bed (we experience it three times with Abg Ashraff!).

Love,
Ibu.

Introduction to Toilet Training

One day, while I was preparing to go to work, Ashraff looked at me up and down. Like macam baru first time dia tengok Ibu dia bersiap pergi kerja.

And out of the blue, he asked "Ibu pakai pampers tak?"

I'm like ??? All these while did Ashraff thought all of us actually wear diapers just like him?? My God!

But anyway, Ibu calmly replied "No, Ibu tak wear pampers. Ashraff pun nanti tak payah wear pampers." (Not a good answer I know, but I'm rushing to work..so, that's the best I can answer).

Now that he has somesort of opened the toilet training subject, I guess might as well I introduce him to some of the toilet training tools we have like potty chair and potty toilet seat.

So yesterday, I took the initial step of introducing him to water closet and how we actually put the potty toilet seat on top of the thing fo him to do his business. Ashraff was nodding all the way, followed by an occassional "a-ah".

Later, I sat beside him and said to him "You are now a big boy Ashraff. So big boy tak payah pakai pampers. Ibu tak pakai pampers, Ayah tak pakai pampers, Tok Mak and Tok Abah tak pakai pampers. Even cat pun tak pakai pampers."

And to my antonishment, he replied "Ashraff kena pakai pampers kan? Ashraff kecik lagi..."
And he walked out of the room leaving me ???

I think I have to come out with different strategy the next time around...*LOL*

This kid never fails to amaze me with his answer (and questions).

Height does matter!

Most people say Ashraff is tall for his age.
Most people thought he is 3 years old, judging from his build and articulacy (not a single "pelat" word).
When gynae did an ultrasound while I was preggy with Ashraff at 34 weeks, she asked me whether my Hubby is tall (hubby outstation masa tu) coz my baby looks tall from the ultrasound result.
Well, Ashraff was later born at 53 centimetres, quite long (but that matches his weight at birth which was 3.74 kilos..macam teran watermelon I tell you..hehehe).

So when I got an email from baby center, with the subject "How tall will your child be?", I became curious to find out Ashraff's height when he's bigger.

I immediately checked out the link.
Keyed-in the variables:-

1. Ashraff's age - 3 yo (he's not yet 3 but they only have 2.5 or 3, so I chose 3).
2. Current height - 3 feet 2 inch or 97 cm (I immediately called mak at home to measure Ashraff's height, something which we never did for such a long time. Punyalah bersemangat!).
3. Current weight - 31 lbs or 14 kg (we weight him at the doctor's clinic last week).
4. Mother's height - 5 feet 3 inches. (about that).
5. Father's height - 5 feet 8 inches.

Clicked on the button "Calculate". Wait few seconds for the result to come out, and....here it is...

Your son will likely be 5 feet, 11 inches tall at age 18!
(Goodness me! That tall! Taller than Hubby?!)

Of course, there's an exception to it:-

This prediction is a "best guess" but it's still just that -- a guess. Based on the formula we used,* there's a 58 percent chance your son's full-grown height will be within 1 inch (above or below) of this prediction, an 85 percent chance it will be within 2 inches, and an 96 percent chance it will be within 3 inches.

1 inch or below - 5 feet 10 inch (still tall).
2 inches and below - 5 feet 9 inches (still tall).
3 inches and below - 5 feet 8 inches (as tall as Hubby - still tall).

And also there's some fine print:-

This method relies on where your son falls on the Centers for Disease Control's growth charts, and it assumes that he'll remain in the same percentile until he reaches his adult height. The accuracy of the prediction varies because some children will fall into different percentiles throughout childhood.

Ignore the exception and fine prints, and only concentrate on the result.

5 feet 11 inches!! Tingginya anak ku! In 15 years time, I'll be mendongak ke langit just to talk to him... Talking to Hubby pun dah kena mendongak... Ni kan pulak 5 feet 11 inches!

Anyway, if this prediction is correct, one conclusion I can make from this...
Ashraff follows Hubby's genes.
Hubby's late father, siblings and his cousin are mostly tall (of course ada yg kurus melengkung, and ada yang tall and big like gigantic gitu). But yeah, there are mostly tall.

Unlike mine, yang kebanyakkannye on average height...Kalau perempuan, 5 feet 2, 5 feet 3. Even Abah is only 5 feet 4 (so Mak couldn't wear high heels)...and Abah's brothers are like lebih kurang sama je tingginya...

So if this turns out true, I'm glad Ashraff doesn't follow my gene when it comes to height. I would prefer him to be taller...and perhaps good at sports just like Hubby (and all his siblings).

Hope Aliff follow suit..Hmmm...can't really tell now. He's born at 53 cm too just like his brother.

Ok now, kalau dapat anak perempuan nanti, that one will have to follow me. Cute-miut je (prasan jap)...hehehe...

So, for mommies with kids 2 yo and above, why don't you try yours?

Majlis Ilmu

Eh lama jugak I tak update ye?

Not that I don’t want too but it seems that I could not upload photos in this online journal of mine. My thumbdrive encounters some kind of problem, thus I could not copy the photos I have in our notebook back home to be uploaded here. It is disk protected or something. Blog is dull without photos. So, I’ve been hesitating to publish any entry, though I made quite a few photo-less drafts.

But anyway, I can’t keep myself for not writing for quite sometime coz the last time I did it, I suffered quite a severe writer’s block (Ceh! Macam poyo je bunyi dia).

So here I am, trying to make an entry on what’s happening last weekend.

Last Sunday, I’ve attended this beneficial parenting seminar. Something which I have been wanting to go for quite sometime but ada saja aral melintang. Alhamdulillah, Allah permits me to attend it eventually.

The seminar which was held at Amp@ng was called “Khalifah Method of Parenting”. It’s quite a well-known Islamic approach of parenting, thus, I’m sure lots of people know about this seminar and some might have attended it.

I wanted Hubby to come along since “Parenting” includes “Mummy and Daddy” and not “Mummy”..or “Daddy” only. Plus I believe if only “Half of the Parent” attended it, the outcome will not be as effective. Unfortunately, Hubby has to go to JohorBharu for his normal outstation trip (I guess I’ve gotten so use to being left behind that I don’t really mind anymore). So, I am all alone, not as much as I wanted to.

So, in order for me not to forget the points given at the seminar (plus to disseminate the Ilmu I got should anyone stumbled upon my blog), I thot I should make an entry about it. Here are some salient points (not in order form):-

1. The concept of Khalifah is considered “loss” in Islam because usually Muslims will identify themselves as “Hamba Allah” instead of “Khalifah Allah”. Hamba Allah is just the same as any plants and tress while Khalifah is more superior than that. And the role is bigger.

2. Khalifah of Allah is the respresentative of Allah. Just like if you are a “wakil sekolah” you will try to do your very best, as not to let your school down. So what more as “wakil Allah”, you should be doing the best you can according to the Will of Allah. Thus, as long as you remember this, insyaAllah, you will turn out to be a good muslim – solat dengan ikhlas, buat segala kebaikan dengan ikhlas.

And if you can instill this value in your child, they’ll also be able to carry out their duties as Muslim dengan seikhlas hati, tanpa disuruh-suruh. They will throw the rubbish dengan ikhlas, gosok gigi dengan ikhlas etc. Reason being, they are the Khalifah of Allah. Thus, we as parents not only make them do good but we are instilling the desire to make good.

3. Our parenting role is to ensure that our child enters a harmonious Alam Kubur and Alam Masyar and not just only being rich or become professional doctors or lawyers.

4. The importance of rewards in your child’s life. Khalifah Method stresses that the ratio between reward and punishment should be 350 : 1 i.e. reward should be 350 more than punishment. Punishment such as hitting, canning could leave a non-favorable impact on the child’s mind. Reward on the other hand could be in these three forms – words, physical such as gifts and inner speech.

5. Inner speech (or kata hati) is a powerful tool in Khalifah Method. This actually teaches the children to reward themselves. For example, if the child finishes her homework early, without you praising her, she’ll use her “kata hati” to praise herself instead. She can say something like “Wahh…bagusnya saya hari ini. Siap homework cepat. Allah pasti suka.” With this, they are motivated to do further good deeds.

6. It is very important to introduce this Khalifah Method early in the child’s life. First, introduce them to Allah. Show them real life example, like how the trees grow, how catterpillar change to butterfly. When they understand the scenario, relate it to Allah. Ask questions like “Isn’t Allah powerful that He does all these?” then “Do you want to be special in the eyes of Allah?” They are few other tips given on how to instill the love of Allah in the children’s mind but it’s all in my notebook back home…hehehe…

But the most important thing is to tell the children that Allah loves them.

Our mistake is usually to tell apa yang Allah marah. “Don’t do this. Allah marah.” “Don’t do that. Allah marah”. This Khalifah method intends to shift our paradigm by looking at the positive angle instead.

7. Rewarding is basically a process of ‘shaping’. Shaping is the consistent rewarding of consecutive small steps until the child reaches the desired goals (basically desired goals ni is parent’s goals, but once the child is old enough to come out with his own goal in life and if its contradicts, talk, talk and talk with your kid). For example, if we want the child to be kind, since baby lagi kita dah kena dok cakap kat our child that he is a kind boy, polite boy, gentle boy, eventhough he’s merely a baby. And he does show politeness, praise them, hug them.

8. The most important thing….Our child mirrors us. So if we want our child to become a good ummah, we must change first. We must be a good Khalifah first. Set an example, and insyaAllah our child will follow suit.

Hmmm…is that all the points I can remember? Forgetful me…

But, thank God I keep the notes and the handouts so that I could refer to it anytime.

I’ve made this choice to attend parenting seminar because Ashraff is getting bigger. One day, before I go to sleep, it somesort of hit me. Look at the world today...there is too many negative influences out there. My kids are still young, so they are still attached to me. They still look up to us as parents. What if they are bigger? In their teens for example? Which path do they choose to go? If they are not strong enough, they can easily drag by the negative waves. Like what they mentioned during the seminar. Newborns are a bundle of joy…but they can also be bundle of potential. Potential can be towards the positive…or the negatives, that is for the parent’s to choose and guide. Pretty scary when I think of it.

Then I made some mental review on my ownself. Where am I as Muslim? Good? Bad? Can I be a good guide and example to my children to follow the Islamic path?

Balancing all the current situations in hand, I then decided that I need to join more and as much Majlis Ilmu as possible. Brush up my knowledge as Muslim and as parent. Macam poyo je kan? But that's what I currently feel. And I hope this feeling will last so that I am motivated to attend Majlis-Majlis Ilmu in the futiure.

Alhamdulillah I gain a lot from the seminar last Sunday. It's just a matter of putting it to practice. Which of course, is the hardest part...I infact, failed the very first night, when I scolded Ashraff sebab refuse to sleep walaupun mata dia ngantuk. Like nangis and jerit-jerit tak tentu pasal. Really make me grrrr...

Nampaknya I kenalah attend and re-attend similar seminars like this so that it keeps me on my toes all the time.

But first I need to...jeng jeng jeng...drag Hubby to attend the same seminar which is to be held on 20th May at KhalifahInstitute, TamanAmpangUtama *LOL*. I don’t think there is any point should me and Hubby have a conflicting methods of parenting or different goals for our kids. The kids can end up pretty much confused like hey, mana nak ikut ni… hehehe…I’m a kid once, I know what it’s like…hehehe…

For further info on the seminar, you could check this website www.islamic-world.net or you could always ask me. It's good if we can share this 'loss' knowledge with our fellow Muslim friends.

In the meantime, I want to find a good preschool who actually use this KhalifahMethod somewhere in Amp@ng. Anyone knows?

Some shut-eye issues.

Believe it or not. Ashraff still needs to be pat to sleep. No matter how sleepy he is. Without patting, he could not sleep, or probably he can, but we have to wait realllyyy loooong before he finally doze off. Perhaps past midnight. And while waiting, he will talk alone, or worst still singing in the dark. Really loudly till the whole household could not sleep. “1,2, buckle my shoes…” followed by “Power Rangers SPD, Power Rangers to the Rescue…”

Hmmm…so, no choice but to pat him to sleep.

And he only wants Ibu to pat him. Ayah’s hands does not qualify.

Aliff, on the other hand, can sleep by just breastfeeding him lying down. Easy peasy. But it still has to be Ibu. Ayah can’t offer the comfort of breastfeeding.

So Ibu is torn between the two.

Solution, breastfeed Aliff on one side….and pat Ashraff who is lying on the other side. Pretty complicated I tell you. Boleh tergeliat badan dibuatnya.

Ayah, sitting at the edge of the bed, watching guiltily coz he couldn’t help with anything. His presence is not needed by any of the two kids.

It really needs a lot of patience to handle such situation. Especially when after endless stroking, and your toddler still hasn’t sleep. Or your baby suddenly request you to rock him to sleep, and you had to stand up, and let go of your toddler who also needs your attention. And your toddler starts to wail really loudly “Ibu kopok (tepuk) Ashraff ! Ibu kopok Ashraff!”. And now even your baby could not sleep due to the noise. Really chaotic!

I never thought I would be able to go through that situation, but we managed to pull-off excellently till the kids finally fall asleep peacefully. Usually this will take quite sometime to settle down.

Well, not every night this chaotic case happened (Thank God!).

Sometimes Ashraff chose Tok Mak to pat him to sleep. So I’ll only concentrate on Aliff.

Sometimes I’ll pat Ashraff on one side and breastfeed Aliff on the other side, and the three of us will doze simultaneously.

Once in a blue moon, Ashraff doesn’t mind Ayah patting him to sleep.

But for me, I only got one wish pertaining to this issue. It’s for Ashraff to finally get over this phase and finally learn how to sleep on his own. He has this tremendous ability to really fight with his own sleepy eyes since he was merely a baby (say 1 month old). I really wish he could just lie down anywhere if he’s too tired and immediately doze off, be it bawah meja ke, tepi pasu ke, depan TV ke, like some kids do. So far, rasanya adalah dua ke tiga kali yang dia tidur sendiri…

Now with Aliff. Pretty easy to lull him to sleep.

But he’s a light sleeper. So, he will wake up to just a slightest sound.

And at night, he wasn’t a great sleeper either. Recently, he woke up at 5 am in the morning, for no apparent reason. Mata terbuntang dan berkilat2 di tengah gelap. Hmmm…

And another time, at 3 am.

We never experience this with Ashraff. So it’s pretty much a new experience for me.

So after a lot of hassle putting Ashraff to sleep, now I have to deal with Aliff who keeps on waking up at night. Macam nak ajak main. But after half and hour of goo-goo gaa-gaa, he’ll resume sleeping. Abah told me I was just like Aliff when I was small. He had to entertain me almost every middle of the night. So Aliff might inherited that habit from me. Ah, well…

Anyway lack of sleep really helps me in maintaining my figure, thanks to them. So, no need for extra diet or something. But the dark undereye circle. And pretty pale looking face. Urghh!!

Thus, one day, I somesort of lodge a complaint report to a collegue of mine. I told her I’m tired being a mother to this two demanding kids. I haven’t got enough sleep…rest…bla..bla..bla…

Her response left me almost speechless.

She told me to visit a Fertility Centre, and look at the faces I could find there. Those people are hoping upon hope to be able to conceive and have their own kids one day. And I should be lucky that I’m bless with my own kids. No matter how tiring and stressful it may be, it’s never as tiring and stressful as trying to conceive.

Errr….

Ok, she got a point. I shouldn’t complain. In fact, I shouldn’t have make an entry about this in the first place. Shouldn,t, shouldn’t, shouldn’t.

But I guess being able to express my joy and hardship of being a parent is something wonderful. After all, when I look back at this entry when my kids are older, I would be able to grin with pride and say, I’ve successfully been through all these. A bliss, indeed.

For now, that saying "Sleeping Like a Baby" is completely nuisance. Coz for a two-time mommy here, sleeping like a baby is actually this:-