Notes between Mother-and-Son

A note from Ashraff to Ibu:-

Ibu,

I may not know how to sleep on my own.

I may be demanding in some areas.

I may cause you and Ayah a lot of headaches.

I may make cause your 'blood go upstairs' most of the times.

I may not be a perfect son to you and Ayah.

But I can really draw.
And I love to draw.

Please enjoy my masterpiece.



You know, I did this all by myself, without any help from you, or Ayah, or any adults.


I wanted to sell my art piece for RMXX amount of money, but you told me you want to keep it as a momento. A priceless keepsake, you said.

So Ibu, do you think I qualify to become the next Leonardo Da Vinci?
But, on one exception though…
Don’t ask me to use paint and glues.
There are so yucky!
I hate them.
I only work well with pens, pencils and crayons…and nothing more.

You know I got extra praise from Mrs. ArchbOld in class last week when I happened to draw something similar to this. I overheard her telling you that what I did was exceptionally incredible coz kids my age could only scribble and some are in the process of learning how to hold a pen correctly.

Are you proud of me Ibu?

Yours truly,
Ashraff.

A reply note from Ibu:-

My dearest Ashraff,

Of course I am so proud of you! In fact, I almost cried when your teacher showed me your piece of drawing last week. She was so impressed with your art work.

Ashraff, you really can draw.
Well, at least that is one area where you can sit down and really concentrate on doing, instead of jumping and running around.
I know you hate working with paint..so finger painting is not an option here. I won’t force you to do it.

Hey Ashraff, do you know that I caught you, following the outline of the ‘Ultraman’s Head’ drawn by Tok Mak with your pen few times. And once you master the shape of the ‘head’, you tried drawing it on your own. And you got a perfect looking shape just like the one Tok Mak did, and than you add your own version of ‘Ultraman’s eyes’. Simply fantastic! I praised you there and then, coz I’m so proud of you…

And I’m also pleased that you do not show your flair of arts by creating murals at the wall. You tend to search for paper everytime you feel the urge to draw. That is so dear of you.

Please continue drawing coz I love to see your piece of arts, no matter how they turn out to be. In arts, there is no right and wrong…

If that answers your question, yes, you can be the next Leornardo Da Vinci.

Love,
Ibu.

****************************

A note from Aliff to Ibu:-

Hi Ibu!

Sorry for the prolonged delay in writing you this note. I have trouble copying and pasting my latest photo on this note. Now that I managed to do it, so here goes.

Last 2nd of April, I turned 5 months old. Big boy already huh Ibu?

I’ll make sure you remember to make a posting everytime I turned one month older and don’t forget to put the photo as well. You know why? Because I don’t want to end up like Abang Ashraff’s photos. You lost all the soft-copies of Abang’s photos when he was a baby. How sad!

You are fortunate, though, since you got it all printed out before the incident happened. But then, you did not label according to the date the photo was taken. So when you developed the photo in one shot, the dates taken are all jumbled up. Thus, when you have a look at the album, you can’t actually determine what age Abang Ashraff was at the time the photo was taken. Pretty sad, I know.

I don’t want that to happen again. So, if you do not make a posting on me, I’ll make sure I send you this note so you won’t forget. You tend to be forgetful lately, Ibu.

Anyway, here is a photo of me on the day I turned 5 mo:-


I weight 7.8 kilos now. My weight increases but on a declining rate, just like what happened to Abang Ashraff last time. But not to worry Ibu. As long as you feed me well, I should be okay. Plus I’ll start on solid next month, so that will ensure I thrive well.

Okay, some of my developments. I prefer to jump on my two feets rather than roll-over. I no longer need to be swaddled to sleep. In fact, I hate it now. Please let me free so I could roll over on your bed as much as I want too.

I know I bumped into you at night, and disturbed you from your peaceful sleep. I think it’s about time you put me in the crib instead of co-sleep on your bed. Furthermore, I think Abang Ashraff actually outgrows his crib. Thus, it should be passed down to me.

Invest in a nice bed for Abang Ashraff. He’ll love it.

So Ibu, please don’t forget to record my development every month, and most importantly, include the photos as well…hehe..

Love, Aliff

A reply note from Ibu:-

Thanks for reminding me Aliff. I’ll make sure I do it every month. But should I forget, write a similar note like this. I really appreciate it.

Oh yeah Aliff, happy 5 mo son! You’re a big boy already.

I’ll take note of your notion to buy a new bed for Abg Ashraff. Will discuss it with Ayah. We need to act fast before you stumble off the bed (we experience it three times with Abg Ashraff!).

Love,
Ibu.

Introduction to Toilet Training

One day, while I was preparing to go to work, Ashraff looked at me up and down. Like macam baru first time dia tengok Ibu dia bersiap pergi kerja.

And out of the blue, he asked "Ibu pakai pampers tak?"

I'm like ??? All these while did Ashraff thought all of us actually wear diapers just like him?? My God!

But anyway, Ibu calmly replied "No, Ibu tak wear pampers. Ashraff pun nanti tak payah wear pampers." (Not a good answer I know, but I'm rushing to work..so, that's the best I can answer).

Now that he has somesort of opened the toilet training subject, I guess might as well I introduce him to some of the toilet training tools we have like potty chair and potty toilet seat.

So yesterday, I took the initial step of introducing him to water closet and how we actually put the potty toilet seat on top of the thing fo him to do his business. Ashraff was nodding all the way, followed by an occassional "a-ah".

Later, I sat beside him and said to him "You are now a big boy Ashraff. So big boy tak payah pakai pampers. Ibu tak pakai pampers, Ayah tak pakai pampers, Tok Mak and Tok Abah tak pakai pampers. Even cat pun tak pakai pampers."

And to my antonishment, he replied "Ashraff kena pakai pampers kan? Ashraff kecik lagi..."
And he walked out of the room leaving me ???

I think I have to come out with different strategy the next time around...*LOL*

This kid never fails to amaze me with his answer (and questions).

Height does matter!

Most people say Ashraff is tall for his age.
Most people thought he is 3 years old, judging from his build and articulacy (not a single "pelat" word).
When gynae did an ultrasound while I was preggy with Ashraff at 34 weeks, she asked me whether my Hubby is tall (hubby outstation masa tu) coz my baby looks tall from the ultrasound result.
Well, Ashraff was later born at 53 centimetres, quite long (but that matches his weight at birth which was 3.74 kilos..macam teran watermelon I tell you..hehehe).

So when I got an email from baby center, with the subject "How tall will your child be?", I became curious to find out Ashraff's height when he's bigger.

I immediately checked out the link.
Keyed-in the variables:-

1. Ashraff's age - 3 yo (he's not yet 3 but they only have 2.5 or 3, so I chose 3).
2. Current height - 3 feet 2 inch or 97 cm (I immediately called mak at home to measure Ashraff's height, something which we never did for such a long time. Punyalah bersemangat!).
3. Current weight - 31 lbs or 14 kg (we weight him at the doctor's clinic last week).
4. Mother's height - 5 feet 3 inches. (about that).
5. Father's height - 5 feet 8 inches.

Clicked on the button "Calculate". Wait few seconds for the result to come out, and....here it is...

Your son will likely be 5 feet, 11 inches tall at age 18!
(Goodness me! That tall! Taller than Hubby?!)

Of course, there's an exception to it:-

This prediction is a "best guess" but it's still just that -- a guess. Based on the formula we used,* there's a 58 percent chance your son's full-grown height will be within 1 inch (above or below) of this prediction, an 85 percent chance it will be within 2 inches, and an 96 percent chance it will be within 3 inches.

1 inch or below - 5 feet 10 inch (still tall).
2 inches and below - 5 feet 9 inches (still tall).
3 inches and below - 5 feet 8 inches (as tall as Hubby - still tall).

And also there's some fine print:-

This method relies on where your son falls on the Centers for Disease Control's growth charts, and it assumes that he'll remain in the same percentile until he reaches his adult height. The accuracy of the prediction varies because some children will fall into different percentiles throughout childhood.

Ignore the exception and fine prints, and only concentrate on the result.

5 feet 11 inches!! Tingginya anak ku! In 15 years time, I'll be mendongak ke langit just to talk to him... Talking to Hubby pun dah kena mendongak... Ni kan pulak 5 feet 11 inches!

Anyway, if this prediction is correct, one conclusion I can make from this...
Ashraff follows Hubby's genes.
Hubby's late father, siblings and his cousin are mostly tall (of course ada yg kurus melengkung, and ada yang tall and big like gigantic gitu). But yeah, there are mostly tall.

Unlike mine, yang kebanyakkannye on average height...Kalau perempuan, 5 feet 2, 5 feet 3. Even Abah is only 5 feet 4 (so Mak couldn't wear high heels)...and Abah's brothers are like lebih kurang sama je tingginya...

So if this turns out true, I'm glad Ashraff doesn't follow my gene when it comes to height. I would prefer him to be taller...and perhaps good at sports just like Hubby (and all his siblings).

Hope Aliff follow suit..Hmmm...can't really tell now. He's born at 53 cm too just like his brother.

Ok now, kalau dapat anak perempuan nanti, that one will have to follow me. Cute-miut je (prasan jap)...hehehe...

So, for mommies with kids 2 yo and above, why don't you try yours?

Majlis Ilmu

Eh lama jugak I tak update ye?

Not that I don’t want too but it seems that I could not upload photos in this online journal of mine. My thumbdrive encounters some kind of problem, thus I could not copy the photos I have in our notebook back home to be uploaded here. It is disk protected or something. Blog is dull without photos. So, I’ve been hesitating to publish any entry, though I made quite a few photo-less drafts.

But anyway, I can’t keep myself for not writing for quite sometime coz the last time I did it, I suffered quite a severe writer’s block (Ceh! Macam poyo je bunyi dia).

So here I am, trying to make an entry on what’s happening last weekend.

Last Sunday, I’ve attended this beneficial parenting seminar. Something which I have been wanting to go for quite sometime but ada saja aral melintang. Alhamdulillah, Allah permits me to attend it eventually.

The seminar which was held at Amp@ng was called “Khalifah Method of Parenting”. It’s quite a well-known Islamic approach of parenting, thus, I’m sure lots of people know about this seminar and some might have attended it.

I wanted Hubby to come along since “Parenting” includes “Mummy and Daddy” and not “Mummy”..or “Daddy” only. Plus I believe if only “Half of the Parent” attended it, the outcome will not be as effective. Unfortunately, Hubby has to go to JohorBharu for his normal outstation trip (I guess I’ve gotten so use to being left behind that I don’t really mind anymore). So, I am all alone, not as much as I wanted to.

So, in order for me not to forget the points given at the seminar (plus to disseminate the Ilmu I got should anyone stumbled upon my blog), I thot I should make an entry about it. Here are some salient points (not in order form):-

1. The concept of Khalifah is considered “loss” in Islam because usually Muslims will identify themselves as “Hamba Allah” instead of “Khalifah Allah”. Hamba Allah is just the same as any plants and tress while Khalifah is more superior than that. And the role is bigger.

2. Khalifah of Allah is the respresentative of Allah. Just like if you are a “wakil sekolah” you will try to do your very best, as not to let your school down. So what more as “wakil Allah”, you should be doing the best you can according to the Will of Allah. Thus, as long as you remember this, insyaAllah, you will turn out to be a good muslim – solat dengan ikhlas, buat segala kebaikan dengan ikhlas.

And if you can instill this value in your child, they’ll also be able to carry out their duties as Muslim dengan seikhlas hati, tanpa disuruh-suruh. They will throw the rubbish dengan ikhlas, gosok gigi dengan ikhlas etc. Reason being, they are the Khalifah of Allah. Thus, we as parents not only make them do good but we are instilling the desire to make good.

3. Our parenting role is to ensure that our child enters a harmonious Alam Kubur and Alam Masyar and not just only being rich or become professional doctors or lawyers.

4. The importance of rewards in your child’s life. Khalifah Method stresses that the ratio between reward and punishment should be 350 : 1 i.e. reward should be 350 more than punishment. Punishment such as hitting, canning could leave a non-favorable impact on the child’s mind. Reward on the other hand could be in these three forms – words, physical such as gifts and inner speech.

5. Inner speech (or kata hati) is a powerful tool in Khalifah Method. This actually teaches the children to reward themselves. For example, if the child finishes her homework early, without you praising her, she’ll use her “kata hati” to praise herself instead. She can say something like “Wahh…bagusnya saya hari ini. Siap homework cepat. Allah pasti suka.” With this, they are motivated to do further good deeds.

6. It is very important to introduce this Khalifah Method early in the child’s life. First, introduce them to Allah. Show them real life example, like how the trees grow, how catterpillar change to butterfly. When they understand the scenario, relate it to Allah. Ask questions like “Isn’t Allah powerful that He does all these?” then “Do you want to be special in the eyes of Allah?” They are few other tips given on how to instill the love of Allah in the children’s mind but it’s all in my notebook back home…hehehe…

But the most important thing is to tell the children that Allah loves them.

Our mistake is usually to tell apa yang Allah marah. “Don’t do this. Allah marah.” “Don’t do that. Allah marah”. This Khalifah method intends to shift our paradigm by looking at the positive angle instead.

7. Rewarding is basically a process of ‘shaping’. Shaping is the consistent rewarding of consecutive small steps until the child reaches the desired goals (basically desired goals ni is parent’s goals, but once the child is old enough to come out with his own goal in life and if its contradicts, talk, talk and talk with your kid). For example, if we want the child to be kind, since baby lagi kita dah kena dok cakap kat our child that he is a kind boy, polite boy, gentle boy, eventhough he’s merely a baby. And he does show politeness, praise them, hug them.

8. The most important thing….Our child mirrors us. So if we want our child to become a good ummah, we must change first. We must be a good Khalifah first. Set an example, and insyaAllah our child will follow suit.

Hmmm…is that all the points I can remember? Forgetful me…

But, thank God I keep the notes and the handouts so that I could refer to it anytime.

I’ve made this choice to attend parenting seminar because Ashraff is getting bigger. One day, before I go to sleep, it somesort of hit me. Look at the world today...there is too many negative influences out there. My kids are still young, so they are still attached to me. They still look up to us as parents. What if they are bigger? In their teens for example? Which path do they choose to go? If they are not strong enough, they can easily drag by the negative waves. Like what they mentioned during the seminar. Newborns are a bundle of joy…but they can also be bundle of potential. Potential can be towards the positive…or the negatives, that is for the parent’s to choose and guide. Pretty scary when I think of it.

Then I made some mental review on my ownself. Where am I as Muslim? Good? Bad? Can I be a good guide and example to my children to follow the Islamic path?

Balancing all the current situations in hand, I then decided that I need to join more and as much Majlis Ilmu as possible. Brush up my knowledge as Muslim and as parent. Macam poyo je kan? But that's what I currently feel. And I hope this feeling will last so that I am motivated to attend Majlis-Majlis Ilmu in the futiure.

Alhamdulillah I gain a lot from the seminar last Sunday. It's just a matter of putting it to practice. Which of course, is the hardest part...I infact, failed the very first night, when I scolded Ashraff sebab refuse to sleep walaupun mata dia ngantuk. Like nangis and jerit-jerit tak tentu pasal. Really make me grrrr...

Nampaknya I kenalah attend and re-attend similar seminars like this so that it keeps me on my toes all the time.

But first I need to...jeng jeng jeng...drag Hubby to attend the same seminar which is to be held on 20th May at KhalifahInstitute, TamanAmpangUtama *LOL*. I don’t think there is any point should me and Hubby have a conflicting methods of parenting or different goals for our kids. The kids can end up pretty much confused like hey, mana nak ikut ni… hehehe…I’m a kid once, I know what it’s like…hehehe…

For further info on the seminar, you could check this website www.islamic-world.net or you could always ask me. It's good if we can share this 'loss' knowledge with our fellow Muslim friends.

In the meantime, I want to find a good preschool who actually use this KhalifahMethod somewhere in Amp@ng. Anyone knows?

Some shut-eye issues.

Believe it or not. Ashraff still needs to be pat to sleep. No matter how sleepy he is. Without patting, he could not sleep, or probably he can, but we have to wait realllyyy loooong before he finally doze off. Perhaps past midnight. And while waiting, he will talk alone, or worst still singing in the dark. Really loudly till the whole household could not sleep. “1,2, buckle my shoes…” followed by “Power Rangers SPD, Power Rangers to the Rescue…”

Hmmm…so, no choice but to pat him to sleep.

And he only wants Ibu to pat him. Ayah’s hands does not qualify.

Aliff, on the other hand, can sleep by just breastfeeding him lying down. Easy peasy. But it still has to be Ibu. Ayah can’t offer the comfort of breastfeeding.

So Ibu is torn between the two.

Solution, breastfeed Aliff on one side….and pat Ashraff who is lying on the other side. Pretty complicated I tell you. Boleh tergeliat badan dibuatnya.

Ayah, sitting at the edge of the bed, watching guiltily coz he couldn’t help with anything. His presence is not needed by any of the two kids.

It really needs a lot of patience to handle such situation. Especially when after endless stroking, and your toddler still hasn’t sleep. Or your baby suddenly request you to rock him to sleep, and you had to stand up, and let go of your toddler who also needs your attention. And your toddler starts to wail really loudly “Ibu kopok (tepuk) Ashraff ! Ibu kopok Ashraff!”. And now even your baby could not sleep due to the noise. Really chaotic!

I never thought I would be able to go through that situation, but we managed to pull-off excellently till the kids finally fall asleep peacefully. Usually this will take quite sometime to settle down.

Well, not every night this chaotic case happened (Thank God!).

Sometimes Ashraff chose Tok Mak to pat him to sleep. So I’ll only concentrate on Aliff.

Sometimes I’ll pat Ashraff on one side and breastfeed Aliff on the other side, and the three of us will doze simultaneously.

Once in a blue moon, Ashraff doesn’t mind Ayah patting him to sleep.

But for me, I only got one wish pertaining to this issue. It’s for Ashraff to finally get over this phase and finally learn how to sleep on his own. He has this tremendous ability to really fight with his own sleepy eyes since he was merely a baby (say 1 month old). I really wish he could just lie down anywhere if he’s too tired and immediately doze off, be it bawah meja ke, tepi pasu ke, depan TV ke, like some kids do. So far, rasanya adalah dua ke tiga kali yang dia tidur sendiri…

Now with Aliff. Pretty easy to lull him to sleep.

But he’s a light sleeper. So, he will wake up to just a slightest sound.

And at night, he wasn’t a great sleeper either. Recently, he woke up at 5 am in the morning, for no apparent reason. Mata terbuntang dan berkilat2 di tengah gelap. Hmmm…

And another time, at 3 am.

We never experience this with Ashraff. So it’s pretty much a new experience for me.

So after a lot of hassle putting Ashraff to sleep, now I have to deal with Aliff who keeps on waking up at night. Macam nak ajak main. But after half and hour of goo-goo gaa-gaa, he’ll resume sleeping. Abah told me I was just like Aliff when I was small. He had to entertain me almost every middle of the night. So Aliff might inherited that habit from me. Ah, well…

Anyway lack of sleep really helps me in maintaining my figure, thanks to them. So, no need for extra diet or something. But the dark undereye circle. And pretty pale looking face. Urghh!!

Thus, one day, I somesort of lodge a complaint report to a collegue of mine. I told her I’m tired being a mother to this two demanding kids. I haven’t got enough sleep…rest…bla..bla..bla…

Her response left me almost speechless.

She told me to visit a Fertility Centre, and look at the faces I could find there. Those people are hoping upon hope to be able to conceive and have their own kids one day. And I should be lucky that I’m bless with my own kids. No matter how tiring and stressful it may be, it’s never as tiring and stressful as trying to conceive.

Errr….

Ok, she got a point. I shouldn’t complain. In fact, I shouldn’t have make an entry about this in the first place. Shouldn,t, shouldn’t, shouldn’t.

But I guess being able to express my joy and hardship of being a parent is something wonderful. After all, when I look back at this entry when my kids are older, I would be able to grin with pride and say, I’ve successfully been through all these. A bliss, indeed.

For now, that saying "Sleeping Like a Baby" is completely nuisance. Coz for a two-time mommy here, sleeping like a baby is actually this:-

There's always a first time...

It's the first time I left him.

After 32 months.

"There's always a first time," my Other-Half consoled me.

But I could not control the urge to cry when I finally kissed and bid him farewell last Friday. I could still remember clearly his face, waving at us while hugging his grandma tightly. He didn't seem to mind us leaving him.

If not because of the commitment (monetary commitment) we have made at Ashraff's weekend school, we would have bring Ashraff back to hubby's kampung last weekend. But, instead, half-heartedly, we decided to leave him with his Tok Mak and Tok Abah in KL for two nights.

Two nights without Ashraff feels like infinity.

I missed him dearly. It felt so different without him around. I felt...empty.

I always thought I am not a good mother to my children. I mean, I am short-tempered and could not withstand an endless whailing, crying and tantrum from my kids. In fact, occassionally I felt like breaking-free from the mothering role that I'm succumb to, and just be on my own. I can rest, sleep, read books, do anything I want at my own sweet time, without having the kids controlling my time. Being kids-free...

But somehow or rather, me and my kids are inseparable.

Ironic isn't it?

Attention Everybody!

ANNOUNCEMENT NO 1.
To those who have add slide in their blogs (from slide.com), I would not able to access your blog and worse still, leave comments as much as I wanted too, coz my office decided to firewall that kind of stuff. So, everytime if I tried to access your blog, I will be kicked off from the cyberworld completely. Please understand my situation here.Is not that I don't want to visit you, but I've got no choice (except going to cyber cafe just to blog hop...or subscribe to internet at home...extra cost for me, thus not a good idea).

ANNOUNCEMENT NO 2.
This blog owner is in need of the following:-

1. Facial
I need it badly. The last time I went for facial is like..emmm...one year ago. Or perhaps more. Together with an eye treatment is more I like it. I really need to lighten the dark eye circle underneath my eyes, and prepare myself to turning 3-0 in about three months time. I don't want to look like I've just turn 4-0 on my birthday.Perhaps its time to pay a visit to normal beauty centre.

2. Shoes
Few of them actually. Currently I only have these:-
i. A pair of weekend shoes,
ii. A pair for going back and worth to LRT everyday,
iii. A pair for office wear, which I use interchangeably in any function like kenduri kawin for example.

I know it does sound pathetic.
I really want so much to have the following shoes:-
i. A pair of high-cut boots to wear with jubah-like dress perhaps. Ala-ala Muslimah sejati yang stylo.
ii. A pair of comfy shoes for Sydn3y trip.
iii. A stiletos for attending formal functions like weddings or dinners. With a matching handbag would be nice.

To anyone who would be able to sponsor the above items, you are very much appreciated. You are indeed my 'bestest' friend.

This blog owner is running out of spare cash to spend on herself. She has been using her monthly income for loan repayments including credit card, bibik's salary, Ashraff's school fees, her disposable contact lenses (coz she's never gonna wear spectacles to work), putting aside a fixed amount of money for the holiday, makan and tambang, just to name a few.

The only thing that she can control on spending is buying things for her kids, which she finds it's extremely hard to do so. In fact, she has categorised that thing as her fixed expenses. She can never walk out from any children's department store without buying anything. She would rather spend on her children's stuffs rather than pampering herself. Do all mommies act the way she does?

Ok, one way out is to use a credit card just to fulfill her wish list. But that's not really way out, isn't it? This blogger doesn't want to get hook with credit card. In fact, her target is to clear off her credit card balance as much as she can, just to prepare for new potential debts for e.g. shopping at Sydn3y...hihi...

So what this blogger is implementing currently is the 'envelope system'. One envelope with money for food only, another one for tambang, one for gaji bibik..and she is thinking of coming out with another envelope just for her kids' stuffs so that she doesn't overspend. How's that?
Her plan is to put aside the cash leftovers for the things she wanted most i.e facial and shoes. And she got to act really fast before her birthday in June and before the trip in August. That's quite a tough job, isn't it?

ANNOUNCEMENT NO 3.
The little home business of mine, CreateMyOwnGift, is somesort of abandoned for almost half a year. Am not doing promotion. Have not updated the website. Will just fulfill any orders should we are lucky enough to receive one. I guess we are too caught up with work and raising a family.

But lately, I've started to brainstorm on few projects with my partners, and hopefully we could come out with something before this year ends.

Will make an announcement then, insyaAllah.

In the meantime, if you do want to order some personalized book or tshirt, please enquire within. I also do some personalized birthday and baby newspaper for close friends and family in my spare time (if I have any). Sorry I can't upload sample photos for your viewing. But you are free to email me.

ANNOUNCEMENT NO 4
Berapa banyak announce daaa...Cukuplah 3 je...

What's with LRT nowadays??!!

This morning I was all geared up to go to work, full of motivation. Bukan senang nak bersemangat macam ni...but entah kenapa pagi ni rasa bersemangat pulak. Dalam otak dah merancang-rancang kerja apa yang nak dilakukan first thing in the morning.

Tetapi, setiba aja di LRT station, di tempat menunggu LRT, rasa frust sangat2. The sight of lots of people queueing up in a 'snake line' has given indication that LRT is undergoing technical problem. This is second time LRT buat hal dalam bulan ni! What happened to the so-called efficient and improved Malaysian's public transport?! Don't they have maintenance program or something?!

Rasa cam nak jerit je.

This is the second time in a month yang I'm late for work, and it's all because of the train. I've got tonnes to do in the office so the last thing I wanna do is late to work. Bengang je!

Yang buat menambahkan rasa sakit hati ialah the announcement. "Train is having technical difficulties...We apologize for the inconvenience cause..." Again, and again, and again, for the umpth time.

"We would advise you to take other mode of transport. Rapid KL buses....bla..bla..bla.."
I don't have alternative transport, ok?! Kalau ada pun, I kena lompat2 bas baru sampai office and by that time, I might reach later than if I were to take LRT. The only other option I got is for my father to chauffeur driven me to the office, but he was on his way back to our house after sending me to the station, and he doesn't have any handphone for me to call!

Rasa cam nak jerit lagi.

And my tummy started to growl from hunger. I haven't eaten my breakfast. Ishk...
And this line that I chose, tends to be the slowest moving line ever. Apalah malang nasib ku hari ni...

After one hour waiting, I'm no longer playing Mr Nice Guy. The next train that comes I'm gonna try my very best to squeeze in it. So, I did it. Squeeze and squeeze till all the molecules in body cramped together. You have to have this super power of squeezing and transforming yourself into Cicakman/Spiderman so that you will be able to melekat kat pintu LRT. Seriously, at that point of time I didn't care what the others in the train are saying bout me. I was hungry and my sole was aching after standing up for too long (kalau shopping tak sakit pulak kaki ni) and I hate waiting! So, be it!

Finally, I've reached my office...and supposed to be doing my work, but instead I blog.

Anyway, I just want to voice out my frustration on our public transport nowadays. I don't know what went wrong but lately not only Putr@LRT but other form of transportations are also having technical problems quite so often. A lot of people is depending on public transports as their main carrier to their destinations. Especially in the peak hours like in the morning and evening after work. Takde ruang untuk buat silap pada masa ini. Public transport companies should at least increase their maintenance schedule. Oh, probably they have...but still...Tension tau kalau kena macam ni! Selalu pulak tu!

Oklah, guess I've released all the anger and frustration within. I need to start working. Full stop.

At school...

Heh? Rajinnya aku blog dua tiga hari ni. Dalam 2 minggu ni aje, dah 5 entry aku buat. Macam takde keje lain pulak. Ala, selagi ada mood, baik teruskan...

Ok, what do I wanna write about just now? Oh yes, on Ashraff. He's been attending this English class at L0rn@Wh1st0n, Taman Tun for..let me see...1 1/2 months now. For the last two classes, we (me & hubby) decided to wait outside instead of joining him in the class. Alhamdulillah, he is independent enough, and does not cry for us to stay besides him all the time. In fact, he doesn't even care whether we exist! The moment he saw the lovely and colourful toys spread across the rooms, he completely forgotten about us, just as expected...

I have to admit, it was quite boring to be waiting outside for 1 1/2 hour, despite having a book to read. Actually not so much of boring but more of the strong urge to see what's my son is doing in the class. I think I'm getting so used to being involved in the class activity, that I somehow regretted not being able to join the fun anymore. Since other parents now decided to wait outside, it will be a bit odd for me to be sitting inside the class. The teacher and her assistant must be thinking I'm an overly protective mommy or something...

But anyway, last week, I decided to stay a bit longer in the class before going out. So I got to see Ashraff playing with the toys. He's interested on the wooden peg puzzle (you know the one where each piece has a handle, so all you have to do is put it according to the mold and shape..oh, i'm bad at describing stuffs). He did only two pieces of one puzzle, and move on to disturb another girl who was trying her luck on another puzzle. Ashraff started to snatch the piece the girl was holding, and showed the girl how to put it in a correct mold. "Macam ni lah..." said Ashraff, like macamlah that girl tu tak tahu. Then when the girl took another piece and terkial-kial nak letak dalam the correct mold, Ashraff again snatched the piece from her hand. Thank God the girl decided not to cry or else her mother would be running inside the room and found out that my son was the culprit.

Finished with the girl, Ashraff moved on to the next victim, a pair of twins, also trying a hand on another puzzle. He squeezed in between the twins and sat there. Despite Ashraff's behaviour, I decided not to take charge of things and let the teacher and assistant control the situation. All I did was shaking my head. The teacher saw me and she said "Our aim is actually to make these children concentrate for at least 20 minutes so that they can move on to next level. Usually by the end of the year, we manage to do it." 20 minutes?! Ashraff can't even sit still, for like 3 minutes? Well, good luck teacher!

Then during the physical activity (which Ashraff loves best!), the teacher approached me and sat next to me. She told me "Ashraff is such a brave and active boy. You know about Ashraff, he keeps on running and jumping around in the class and refused to sit on the mat while we did our read-aloud or playing games."

I'm like errr...."Well, he has a short concentration span," trying my best to defend Ashraff. Actually more of like in a denial state...

The teacher then replied "Actually, this is not on concentration. Concentration is when you do or look at something, and later move on doing other things. But Ashraff doesn't even LOOK to start of with."

I'm like WHAT???!! Apa kes dengan anak aku ni?? I thought he will actually behave in class, after all, most kids were when they are surrounded by unfamiliar surrounding. But not this lil lad of mine. He's just being his super-duper active self no matter where he is.

"Is he the only one in class who behave like this?"
"Emmm...I guess so...Or probably some other kids..", the teacher replied, more of like macam nak sedapkan hati I je.

Kids in the class are all his age (they are all born in 2004), but takkan lah the others could give full commitment and cooperation but not my Ashraff? Ishk...

"Errr...what can I do to help?"
"It's okay. That's why you send him to school. We will he try what we can do and see whether he could at least concentrate by the end of the year. For now, my assistant will have to sit with him so that he can at least be involved in the activity."

Ok, should I be panicked my son doesn't sit still in class?
Breathe in, breathe out...Think...
Hmmmm...
He's only 2 plus. And this is only a playschool, for God's sake. Playschool, is only for play, play and play, am I right? So, I shouldn't be worried, right?
Breathe in, breathe out again...
There's no exam at the end of the year, anyway. So why should I care whether he actually learns in class, right?
Now, think of the reasons why I sent him to school.
Develop social skills, learn English, introduce him to school atmosphere.
These are definitely not the reasons - Able to read at three. Able to write perfectly at 4. Score straight As in class.
So, by right I should not panic, right?
Ok, inhale, exhale...
Yes, I should be proud that Ashraff is independent enough in class. He can carry himself well, rather than berkepit dengan Ibu. That is even harder I believe...
When should I start worrying?
If this thing continues when Ashraff enters Primary, then I should start think about it and take action if the same behaviour persist. Or is that still a bit too early?

For now, I'll just stick to what the teacher advised me - sent him to school and let them do their job and we'll see how he turns out to be by the end of the year. If the teacher could just make him stay still and concentrate by then, then they are doing a marvellous job.

Oh, this makes my urge to stay in the class even stronger. I could sit with him just like what the assistant did. Rasa okay tak idea ni?
Do I sound like I'm worry...again?

Got it!

Have u been to M@tt@ Fair before?

We (me and Abah) went to the fair last friday. The fair started at 10 a.m. We reached there about 15 minutes late, but the crowd is HUGE! The place is jam-packed with LOTS of people. The queue to buy the entrance ticket is terribly long! Apa diaorang ni bukak-bukak je terus serbu ke?

Anyway, for anyone who wants to go to the same fair which is held twice a year (the next one will be on 7-9 September this year), please, please, please be specific on your holiday destination, the estimate date you want to travel and the number of pax. Or else, you will make other people who have somewhat make great planning for their holidays (like me..*grin*) really irritated by having to wait for your endless enquiries at the ticketing counter. For example, like one gentleman in front of me who carried a blank paper and a pen, asked millions of questions like "Pls check for me the trip to Beijing for this date, this, this, this date...", then move on to next question "Now check for me trip to Hong Kong for this, this, this date....errr...how about this date?", then another question "Trip to Taiwan, this, this, this date..." My God! I don't have whole day here!

Of course, it's not wrong for you to be asking all these questions..i mean, it's your right, but if you make at least a teeny weeny planning (not just for the sake of surveying), you will be more considerate to other people's needs.

Another thing i noted is the airlines fare from one agent to another it's not the same eventhough it is the same airlines you are looking for. I mean if you are a frequent traveller, then you would have known this fact, but for someone new like me, I'm quite suprise by the fact. Even the airport tax charges are not the same. Apparently, different agents use different systems, thus the taxes and extra charges are different. So, I ended up having to queue and wait at almost every ticketing counter. A lot of time is wasted there!

Next, it is a great advantage if you are looking for full board holiday tour i.e. flight + accommodation + tour. A lot of promotions at this fair. Unfortunately, we are looking for serviced apartments, so there's not much (in fact only one) package available. The reason why we insist on apartments because we want a lot bigger space with microwave, dishwasher and full laundry facility so that we could wash the kids cloth conveniently. So, our only choice is to take advantage of lower airfare (too bad we miss on the very very cheap Roy@l Brune1 airline), and make ground arrangement later on. In fact, for ground arrangement, we prefer to deal directly with the owner via email. I guess it's cheaper that way, plus there's a lot more choices.

Oh yeah, another thing, please make a holiday budget first. And should u can find a cheaper alternative at M@tt@ without compromising the quality, then go for it. If you don't have benchmark, then it's pretty hard for you to make decision. You'll go pening-pening lalat, and very the rambang mata while you are there.

Anyway, we've finally got our ticket! Thanks to Abah for being my credit card no provider (yelah limit kita tak cukup nak beli tiket utk the whole family). InsyaAllah, we'll be travelling to Sydn3y, Austral1a at the end of August this year. Ashraff will be 3 yo by then, at Aliff will be 10 mo old. I hope this holiday materialise and just pray and hope all of us are in good healthy condition at that time....So, Sydn3y, here we come!! (insyaAllah)..

In the Hot Seat

Tonnes of work to do. Loads. Things are really piling up on my desk. Everything's urgent...(and u still have time to blog?!)

So when the VP decided to have a sudden meeting this morning, I was frantic. Terrified at the same time, coz I know an impromptu meeting is not a good sign.

Indeed it was. He came down with a red face, boiling with anger. Just as expected. But I was not too sure what exactly triggers his anger till he decided to see all of us immediately. Like there's no tomorrow.

"Your branch performance is bad! You're an anchor branch but you have not done well! I'm very dissapointed with the branch's performance!"

Oh, there goes our increment and bonus, I thought. But what actually makes him think that way? Okay, we may not be tip-top in everything, but we did achieve our target last year. So what actually activate his anger? I'm still clueless, until....

"I marah betul tengok the 50-pages audit report only on your branch. How do u expect me to response to the auditors?"

Oh that's it! Damn the auditors! Kau cari kesalahan orang je bolehlah...aku pun boleh macam tu. Cuba kau duduk sini, buat kerja sampai tak cukup kaki tangan cam aku ni. Can u come-out superbly error-free?! Even the system can be corrupted sometimes... Anyway, the audit is done after three years, so of course there will be lots of findings and what not. If it's done every year, perhaps the pages will decrease to about...let me see...17 pages (50 divided by 3)...That's still a lot of findings. No wonder this VP of mine is boiling mad. Apa tak efisyen sangat ke kita orang ni? Don't you know by now that meeting target is one thing, compliance to policy and procedure is another thing? This is where the auditors love to scrutinise. Oh, I can see my increment and bonus flying above me, and vanished thru the thin air.

As usual after an intense meeting, we were somehow feeling terribly stressed out...even my EBM was affected! And as usual, we were left with a whole lot of work to do...

Ok let me see...few disbursement to process, some memo changes to be done, appoint lawyers for issuance of notice of demand for those bad paymasters..and new one on the list...project review on all accounts to be done before 31/3...and..oh, the list is endless. I think I'll go back really late tonight and tomorrow night.

But the good thing is I'm taking leave on Friday. Off to Matta Fair. My first trip to Matta actually. Wanna check out the price for our planned holiday trip...Yippee! Gosh, I'm so looking forward for a break...

Oh, well, for now back to work...I've been taking five for pumping (and blogging) and should be back to work, or else I'll have to burn a midnight oil here in the office...

Rectification Plan

After what had happened yesterday, I practically did not do any productive task, more of like doing some housekeeping of my files and documents, surfed the net for new breastpump, write some personal emails, made an entry at the blog and...that's it. How unproductive I was yesterday after the incidence!

Anyway, after making my last entry yesterday, my mind was somewhat at ease. I could clearly think, and rethink on an action plan before it's too late. Then suddenly it strikes me that I should go back to the place where I first bought the pump, which happens to be the sole distributor in Malaysia. Probably they could give a good look at the pump I'm using, and better still find a replacement part instead of having to buy a new pump. So I gave them a buzz before I left the office, and they told me I could come during their business hour, which happens to coincide with my working hours too. Thus, I decided to pay them a visit this Friday because after all I'm taking a leave on that day (errr...I plan to visit M@tta@Fair for our family holiday but that's different subject altogether). La, la, la, my heart was singing...

As I reached home, I decided on an even better plan. I will take an emergency leave tomorrow to drop by at the distributor's office. Work can wait, but 'production line' could not..hehehe...

The very next morning, I smsed to my officemate (which happens to be a guy) to tell boss that I'll be on half day EL today. My sms "Please bagitau boss yang I ambik cuti half day hari ni sebab...." Errr...sebab apa ye? I can't tell him that I need to repair my breastpump. He, my boss and the rest of the Human Resource troops will laugh when they read my reasons on the leave form. Ok, think of a reason quick! Ok, got it "sebab nak pergi repair kereta..." Hahaha...good and valid reason I believe. And the guy replied "Ok, will tell boss. Boss pun masuk lambat hari ni sebab alarm kereta dia buat hal." Lah, takkanlah kes aku sama ngan boss pulak? Now, I've got to think of what parts when wrong with my car. Errr...my dad's car broke down and I can't go to work, something's wrong with the engine. That'll do. Hahaha...talk about white lies...

So off I went to distributor's place at D@taranP@lma. Thank God it's near to my house. A lady greeted me at the door, and I told her my problem. She then asked me for my pump so she could have a look. The moment I showed her my pump, she gasped at the sight of it "Kak, pump ni dah teruk ni. Mungkin kena beli baru". What?! Alamak, takkan tak boleh repair kot...Shoot the question "Takde replacement part ke? Terus terang, budget takde nak beli pump baru ni". Betapa jujurnye aku!

The lady then decided to diagnose the problem and see what she can do. It turned out the rubber thingy near the handle (which is called stem-o-ring) has torn. The membrane pun dah koyak, the funnel is out of shape, and the valve head need to be replaced. "So, berapa semua sekali ni ye?" I asked the lady. Akak ni memang seriously takde duit, the lady must have think. So the purchase of the day were:-

Valve Head - RM15.00
Valve Membrane - RM14.00
Stem-O-Ring - RM35.00
Soft fit funnel - RM40.00

TOTAL - RM104.00

RM104.00! That's half the price of a new pump (or 45% of the price to be exact)! Not bad! I infact saved a lot. Alhamdulillah...and the pump looks like brand new, with shining funnel and what not...But I'm yet to test whether it's functioning well.

So, right before lunch, I did my first pumping section of the day. My God! It works like brand new...just like I first purchase it, almost three years ago. And guess what, it even increases my EBM. I got 8 oz at one go! I'm jumping with joy! Boy, I really am happy I'm making this choice.

Then again, I would still love to have a see-look-see-look on the Sp3tra electric pump. Perhaps I can use and leave that pump in the office...while my manual pump, I can use for tandem pumping at home (Aliff breastfeed one side, pump another side), or use it during travelling. I will contact the seller of Sp3ctra this evening to arrange for appointment to have a look at the pump and its carrier bag (She told me that bag is like a camcorder bag. Besar tu!). God, I'm obsessed with breastfeeding...*LOL* Alhamdulillah, I can continue giving Aliff the 'gold-standard' milk *sigh with relief*.

Anyway, for those who could not give your children breastmilk, it's okay. Don't feel bad. Ashraff was fed with formula from day one and he grew up to be a healthy and active boy. In fact, kalau nak ikutkan dia lagi jarang sakit dari adik dia yang so far dah 3 kali masuk hospital. U could perhaps try breastfeeding your next child, coz by that time, I'm sure you are more equipped with knowledge. I mean, that's what I do...

Can I achieve it?

I feel like crying so bad, now at this hour...in front of my PC..I suppose to be doing my work now, but instead I choose to express my feeling in this little online journal of mine...I wanted to blog about something else, but this thing has been boiling in my mind for the last 5 hours.

Camana nak mulakan ni? Straight to the point jelah. My expressed breast milk is running low today. I managed to extract only 3 oz instead of the normal 7 oz per pumping session! Aliff needs like 15 oz per day. The breastpump just conked out! The suction is no longer strong and the use-to-be quiet manual pump is currently making quite a sound while pumping. I can't figure out what's wrong but I believe that pump sudah menemui 'ajal'nya. Damnit!

Actually, semalam lagi I dah sedar yang my EBM dropped while doing tandem pumping but I don't really mind that much coz yesterday is an off-day from work. Aliff could breastfeed directly as long and as much as he wants. But today, the reality strikes when I did my first pumping session this morning. What the heck is wrong with this pump? Why is the sucking motion so soft? And the sound? I tried pumping for almost 1/2 hour and just gave up when I could not get much outcome. At that point onwards, I feel like crying...and that feeling lingers till now...

I immediately surfed the net, looking for a replacement part for the pump (somehow or rather I think the problem has got to do with the rubber thingy at the handle). But, they don't offer such part for the breastpump. No choice, but to hunt for a new breastpump. I feel like buying the same type I'm currently using, but I want to try an electric pump from Spectr@ due to its rave reviews (esp the part where it actually increase your EBM). So Spectr@ 3 is on my top list.

Then again, this working place of mine is not breastfeeding friendly. There's no comfortable location for me to do the pumping. I use to pump in the surau or in the store (where there's no lock so anyone could just enter without notice) . The corner of the store where I usually does my 'production' has no power source/point, so scrape the idea of wanting to continue breastpumping there should I want to invest on this new breastpump.

Next is the surau. Oh yeah, they do have a power point there so I'd be able to set up my production line there. In the morning I could do it comfortably, but after lunch hour the surau will be jam-packed with people, so there's no way I'm going to do my activity there. In fact, I've never seen people pumping in surau before. Oh, I feel like crying again...

Ok stop it Rafiqah. You are determine to continue breastfeeding exclusively. So by right, you shouldn't care what people say. But this Rafiqah does care! I have to admit I'm shy when it comes to this subject. I treat it as my most intimate and private moment. I'll sneak out slowly to do my pumping, and will put my EBM in the fridge as slowly as I can so nobody would notice (and nobody will find out about my EBM in there), and back at my desk doing work as if I've never leave it before. Well, at least I thot nobody would notice...

And then on the carrier bag itself. You know how by carrying a cooler/carrier bag at peculiar time of the day could attract the attention of the people around you? I wanna avoid that too, if I could, especially from the guys at the office. They might wondering where the hell this Rafiqah is going carrying the bag at this time of the hour. With the current pump, I use the JLChildress bag, pretty small and compact so nobody would actually notice or care to ask what's inside. They might think that's just the normal cosmetic pouch. But with the new pump I'm eyeing on, the carrier bag is a bit bulky, thus I have the feeling like the whole office would be looking at me should I carry the bag, trotting across the floor. Or what's the impression of the people in LRT when they look at a lady carrying a big handbag plus another bulky carrier bag? It'll be too space consuming in the packed-LRT, everyone will feel like screaming at me!

Ahh...why should I care in the first place? Why do I have to think too much and stress myself out (that'll affect my milk production even more). I suppose to be proud that I'm giving my baby the best milk in the whole wide world. If I'm determine enough, I should have tutup mata sebelah and just do what I have to do. I could just go at anyone who's looking at me quizzically and say 'if u r wondering but afraid to ask, inside this big and bulky bag is actually a breastpump and bottles for me to produce milk for my son. Oh yeah, u can have a look inside the fridge if u want to see what I've produce so far'. And at the surau, I could just pump proudly and answer any queries that come along the way. Aha! That sounds good isn't it?

Then again, do I actually have the guts to do so? Ah! I have to have a strong-will in order for me to pursue my goal to exclusive breastfeed Aliff. I have to do it. I've gone this far and in another 1 1/2 month to go, I've reached my goal. Come on Rafiqah!

Ok, let me see. I visualize myself carrying my big handbag and carrier bag in the crowded LRT, smile at anyone who look at me with annoying face, take the bulky bag and walk pass my boss room to the surau, make myself comfortable in one corner of the surau where the powerpoint is, smile at anyone who's giving me 'the look' and continue pumping happily. Oh, it wasn't that bad isn't it?

Aaahhh...I think I should go on investing on this new electric pump before my EBM reduce even further. Looking at the stock I have, I think it could last for another one week. Or I could just take a 'milk leave' for desperate measure. I'll place the order soon, but not after I know what's the dimension of the carrier bag, only for my knowledge...hehehe...

Oh it feels a lot better after pouring out my dissapointment and exasperation..Now I can smile again...

Bits and Pieces of My Life

On Aliff:-

Aliff has turned 4-month old last Friday, which also marked my achievement to exclusively breastfeed him for 4 months *pat on my shoulder*. We have not bring Aliff for his 4 month check-up as yet, thus we can't tell his current weight (but I'm sure he has thrive well judging from his chubby cheeks). He seldomed roll-over, as he usually got tired after two or three tries. Am still waiting for him to actually master this skill and do it more often. Even Abang Ashraff couldn't wait as he kept on saying "Ok Aliff, tiarap!".

This 4-month old chap also still loves to be swaddled to sleep. Failing to do so, will make him a restless sleeper, or worse still, couldn't get an shut-eye altogether. This is an extreme contrast with his brother who doesn't want to be swaddled from Day One. Another glaring contrast (apart from personality difference) is Aliff loves to put his hand on his mouth, and now that he can somewhat master the skill of grabbing things within his reach, he'll put those things inside his mouth as well. Mak then made an assumption that Aliff will become 'pengutip' once he hits the creepy crawler stage. Ayooo...lagi penat nak monitor ini macam...

He hasn't start on his solid as yet. We intend to delay the weaning stage until he reaches 6 mo, unless he shows the sign of readiness before that.

Some pictures of 4-mo Aliff and his brother.

On Sling:-

I'm now officially a sling-wearer. Actually my maid opened up my eyes to the concept of sling, when the only thing that can soothe Aliff when he was having colic was by using sling. Aliff tends to fall asleep by breastfeeding him in motion. Thus, sling is my saviour. Aliff loves the sling very much, and from the look of it, he probably views the sling as his second home by now. Plus point of wearing sling is I can do my shopping while breastfeeding Aliff. And I got two free hands to handle the superbly energetic Ashraff. Memang best dan menyeronokkan! Now, am waiting for a baby pouch I bought online. Unlike sling, this pouch is basically ring-less, and claimed to be easier to wear. Will see about that.

Me, in my best 'sling' mode

On Books:-

Right after Ashraff's class at Lorn@Whist0n (he's doing great at school!), we went straight ahead to MPH Warehouse Clearance Sale in PJ. Damage done to our pocket is RM200++. No wait! I can't really classify that as 'damage', am I right? Spending money on books is a valuable investment after all (should the book is read and not left to collect dust on the rack..a reminder to myself *LOL, while imagining the number of unread/unfinished books at home*). Here's what I bought during the sale:-

For Moi - 2 Sophie Kensella's Shopaholic series and 1 Thai Cookbook.
For Hubby - 1 DanBrown's.
For the two boys - loads of books including Barney, Dr. Seuss and Ice Age books for Ashraff and Boardbooks for Aliff.

Kalau ikutkan hati, memang nak spend lagi 2-3 jam kat situ sebab I memang gila tengok buku yang banyak...and very cheap too. But mengenangkan hubby yang tunggu dalam kereta (sebab Ashraff tidur) and berat nak angkat buku banyak2, so belilah apa yang termampu...Did u get the chance to go to this clearance sale?

Looks like I'm going nowhere with this post (more of like descriptions of photos I have in store *LOL*), so I better sign-off now before I start rambling again. Opps, one last one, can you guess who am I?

Me? A Weirdo?

Okay, I've been tagged by momma-mia to list down 6 weird things about myself. Good thing about this meme is that you got to take a break from your busy life and think about yourself in a different way then you would normally do. At least, for me it is. Weird is a subjective matter, so what I presume as weird about myself, might be the norm for somebody else (that somebody else mestilah lebih weirdo from me). This also can be seen as 'membuka pekung di dada' coz some weird stuffs you do, can be really nasty sometimes...hehehe..But anyway, just to continue the legacy, below are the 6 weird things about myself...

1. Kuat berangan.
This is not the normal day-dreaming kinda of thing, but this is more of like berangan depan cermin. I would dress up really nice and make my hair and then talk to the cermin as if I'm talking to someone else. Sometimes, I would talk as if I'm at the office, sometimes I would talk as if I'm having a cup of coffee with my friends. Sometimes I would sing and dance in-front of the mirror as if I have a large audience infront of me. How weirdo is that?
Well, this weird behaviour has slowly vanished from me since I became a wife and mother, probably I don't have time to berangan anymore. But once in a blue moon, terkeluar jugak habit lama. Masa baru2 kawin dulu, hubby was suprised to see me dancing and singing in front of the mirror, coz that's something yang I've never told him before. Ada satu kali tu i siap melompat lagi and the carpet slipped, and i terjatuh atas lantai sampai bengkak paha. Hubby ketawa terbahak2 sampai keluar air mata...Actually, that was the first time dia nampak i berangan...

The 'berangan' blood seems to run in the family, coz now Ashraff pulak dah mengikut. He'll stand infront of the mirror, smiling and sometimes I heard him talking alone. He'll talk to his toys as if there's 2-way communication. Errr...spooky to think of it. But, as you can guess, everyone in the family will say "Ni ikut sapa lagi kalau bukan ibu dia...". Damn!

2. Only one 'clean' toilet
I would only use one particular toilet wherever I am or go. For example, at my house it will be the toilet in my room. In the office, I'd prefer to go to only one particular cubicle and if it's occuppied, I don't mind waiting unless it's a very 'emergency' case. I would not go to any other toilet no matter how clean it is; or sometimes even cleaner than the one i'm comfortable with.

3. I hate doing homework
Who doesn't? But some people do it as well eventhough it's under-protest mode. But me, I totally ignored it! Mak endlessly nagged at me for not doing my school homework, but semuanya masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri. My motto is "kenapa kena buat benda yang sama berulang-ulang kalau kita dah tau macamana nak buat or dah faham konsep? Such a waste of time. Lebih baik tengok TV"...hahaha... As a result of not doing homework, I have to stand outside the class while other students were studying, my teacher snapped me with pembaris besi, etc (dah tak ingat sangat). But the weird part is I tak pernah serik. Buat lagi dan lagi dan lagi...How stubborn can I be. For me, I'd prefer to being punished rather than spending time doing homework. Some people find this really absurd. Now that I'm a mother, I hope none of my kids will inherit this behaviour. Oh please don't tell them about my flaws or else they'll use that as an excuse...

4. Ridiculously 'penakut'.
I'm the very penakut type of person. But I love watching horror movies; or thriller. In the end, I could not sleep at night, or scared to be alone especially in the most-featured-places-in-scary-movies like the toilet. When I was in standard six, I even asked my sister to sit on the toilet bowl, while I took a bath (of course ada shower curtain to cover). Even now at my own house, or my parent's, I'm still afraid to go downstairs if it's dark or nobody's there. I'll drag someone to accompany me, or I just take whatever I want to take, and sprint upstairs. If I bertembung ngan husband in the mid of the staircase, he'll laugh his head off seeing me running like that. *LOL* Oh yeah did I tell you that I'd actually cover my eyes with pillow and cover my ears while watching horror movies? Like, lebih baik tak yah tengok!

5. Obsessed over soap operas
Some people find soap operas are a bunch of boring TV shows. But not me. What have I watched so far? Before entering uni, I'm a die-hard fan of "TheBoldAnd Beautiful". Then, during my uni years, I could not miss watching DaysOfOurLives. The thing is when I started following the TV series, I'd do anything not to miss even an episode. Sanggup tak makan, or sanggup tak keluar jalan. I even set my VCR to record the episode should I have to attend class at that time. Even masa dah balik Malaysia, I kept on visiting the website so that I could still follow the story. I can't figure out how glued I am to soap operas..in fact, I idiolise some of the actors and actresses. Now, I bukan sahaja tak tengok soap operas, but also any other TV shows. Memang dah tak tengok TV dah. Too busy being a wife and mother...chewah!

6. Pukul sana, sini..
I wouldn't have notice this behaviour of mine should no one pointed it out. When I'm too excited talking or laughing, I'd automatically terpukul orang disekeliling, or at least touch them (dengan lelaki takdelah). Sampai ada yang tetiba jerit "adoi!" bila kena pukul ngan I. So, be careful when you are near me and see me extremely excited over something...

Phewhhh!! Finally I managed to complete this meme. It took me quite some time to list down the six items above. I believed if you ask my family or close friends about me, they can surely come out with the answer faster than myself. It's easier to judge other people than our own self. Now, I want this people to crack their heads pulak - Nana, Izreen, Fina, Haariz's Mom and Chah. Please continue this meme, friends...

The Black Man and The Red Lady...

Last Saturday (24/2/2007), I've attended my hubby's company annual dinner. This is hubby's first annual dinner sebab dia pun tak sampai setahun join this company. The theme was "Men in Black, Ladies in Red". So this hot gucci mama pun bersemangatlah carik baju merah untuk pakai for the dinner. Thank God, ada red attire dalam simpanan, so tak payahlah nak membazir duit yang tak banyak mana untuk beli baju merah. Actually I've got a few since my office dulu pun ada use "Red" as its theme, but that was when I was anak dara...I tried hard to squeeze into the same old attire tapi dah sempit yang teramat, sampai nak nafas pun susah, so lupakan saja (kurusnye aku masa anak dara dulu!). Thus, I kena opt for a simpler red blouse, paired it with a red pants (yang ni kena beli baru). No "berkelip sana sini"...But what's important is I got to wear it comfortably without having to spend money. Macam tahun-tahun sudah, kasut and beg tangan merah mak jadi sasaran...Hubby pulak nak tak nak kena jugak beli shirt hitam sebab dia memang takde...

Ok, enough of 'baju' talk. Now on the event itself. The annual dinner was held at KL Hilton (just in case if you don't know where it is, it's somewhere near KL Sentral. No! Yang dekat city centre tu is no longer called KL Hilton. That is Mutiara Hotel. I know a lot of people got confused with the one yang kat Jln Sultan Ismail tu). The emcee for the night is our own penyanyi kecil molek, Ezlynn. I have to tell you that she's damn good as an emcee! So the next time around, kalau your office nak buat annual dinner, do suggest Ezlynn...

Nice black and red door gift

Now on food. I've attended few annual dinners since I stepped my feet in this corporate world, but this is the first time the foods served are Western Foods. The normal foods people served selalunya Chinese or Malay. But this is Western, man! Mahal tu! I chose chicken as the main course, and hubby fish. Memang lazat yang teramat sampai lupa nak ambil gambar...

During the dinner, we were entertained by a guest artist - V1nce from AF1. His voice is good. And I have to tell you he looks better live than on the TV Screen.

Then, ada Best Dressed Theme Awardslah, Long Service Awards lah (LSA) etc. I really like the presentation of the LSA, coz the recipients could bring along their spouses up the stage, and the slides shows the recipients' biodata plus their driving force i.e. their families. I pun startlah berangan-angan, kalau hubby lama kat company ni and received his LSA, Ashraff dah 12 tahun and Aliff pulak 10 tahun...and ntah berapa lagi 'pertambahan' dalam family at that time. As for me, lagi 3 tahun nak received LSA for the company I worked with. Tiba-tiba terasa tua...

After dah selesai awards-giving ceremony (which by then is 11 pm), we were entertained by another guest artist, yang memang ditunggu-tunggu sejak sebulan yang lepas. She's no other than Malaysia's No 1 Singer - D@tuK S1t1 Nurh@l1z@!!! Ok, don't get me wrong. I'm not a fan of her, but to be able to meet her and hear her sing live (for free lagi!) is such an honour for me. Bila S1t1 keluar je, apa lagi masyarakat se-company pun (termasuklah my hubby), berpusu-pusu dan berasak-asaklah nak tangkap gambar penyanyi kita ni, sampai we all yang meja terdepan sekali ni pun kena block. But S1t1 then politely asked the audience to sit. Oh, dapatlah i tengok dia dengan sebegitu clear sekali. Memang tergamam sesangat tengok dia! Her skin is flawless, comel dan petite je orangnye (kalau tengok dalam TV macam berisi sesangat!). Baju dia not bad (way better than the one she's wearing masa Grammy's). And his voice, tak payah cakaplah. Frankly speaking, sapa yang tak minat dia pun, akan turut terpegun tengok kecomelan dan kemantapan vokal D@tuk S1t1 kita ni. Sampai at the end of the show, hubby dok tanya kawan-kawan dia "Kau ada poster S1t1 tak?" Hampehhh betul...

Well, that's not the highlight of the event. The climax was when hubby won the top 10 lucky draw. He got a voucher from JJ amounting to RM500!! Wah! This is better than winning an LCD TV, yang kalau dapat tak tahu kat mana nak letak...or the Selberan jewellery bernilai ribu2 ringgit coz I'm not a bling-bling fan thus don't really know how to appreciate it. But winning something liquid, something yang boleh diguna di waktu kesempitan, something yang boleh dijadikan excuse to shop, memang makcik suka...*grinning from ear to ear*

All in all, it was such a memorable night, and the best annual dinner so far (marah company aku kalau aku cakap macam ni). I asked hubby to stay at this company as long as he could sebab bolehlah nak attend dinner macam ni tiap-tiap tahun. Then again, it all depends on the performance of the company. During the lucrative years, memang we got to enjoy the benefits but during the downturn, duduk termenung sahajalah...

For my own personal record....

Hmmm...haven't been writing for quite some time. Nak cakap busy with work, not really. But I guess most of my time on Internet is shifted to other places of interest. Well, we are planning to go on a holiday ('We' means the whole family). Somewhere 'over the sea', meaning which we are bringing the toddler and the baby naik plane. Crazy idea? Maybe. A cousin of mine told me that I've just sign up for Fear Factor : Parent's Edition. I've had a bad experience with Ashraff during our flight to Bandung. But, leaving them both (or any of them) makes our holiday meaningless. Thus, whatever it might be, we just have to face it. So, basically my surfing time is spent on reading reviews on where to stay, where to go, what to do etc, rather than blogging (and blog hopping).

But, after a long CNY break, I've decided to make an entry, just for my own personal record.

1. Aliff has made its first roll over on 8th February 2007. In the next two days, he tiarap again, and back on his back after a few seconds. And none of it, I was there to witness:( After those two occassions, dia dah tak buat-buat lagi, though he put an endless effort to try it again.

2. Ashraff is puting-less for two days in a row (starting 19th February 2007). Yippee! We told him that his pacifier ada banyak ulat colour black and immediately he believes us without even looking at his puting. Macam tak percaya it was that easy to convince him. It took him a while to sleep without his candu but he made it and I'm so proud of him. Of course, there's an element of bribery involved (I'd prefer to put it as reward-based). I promised to buy him a Blue Ranger (Power Rangers SPD) should he managed to remain puting-less for three days in a row...hehehe...

3. My menses are here!! (This happened 3 weeks ago). I am in great shock! I've been breastfeeding and pumping religiously day and night, but still...This was not the case with Ashraff. I'm period-less the whole time I breastfed him. I don't really mind about the menses thing, but this occurence has causes my "Milk Production Index" to drop. I don't know whether this is a coincidence or is it due to hormonal changes. Apa-apa hal pun, tensionnye!! Now, instead of twice pumping in the office, I had to do thrice.

4. I am currently suffering from a severe postpartum hair loss. Rasanya macam belum recover daripada hair loss waktu lahirkan Ashraff dulu, tetiba dah kena lagi another round of hair loss problem. My hair is thinning. I hate the way it looks, and feels. No choice but to cut it short.

Guess that's all. Back to work...Ahhh...malas je nak buat keje after a long holiday....

Watch Me Grow, Ibu!

WATCH ALIFF GROW

Last Friday, Aliff has turned 3 months old. His colic nightmare is finally over, though he still has that teeny weeny gassy behaviour occassionally. He is back to his usual self - placid and contented, alhamdulillah. The good thing is he has started to sleep well at night. Thus, we decided to bring Ashraff to sleep in the same room again. Now, we are sleeping as a family again..alhamdulillah. I'm less lethargy now since I got a good rest at night. Memang syukur sangat-sangat since everything is settled down now.

Now, a check on his development track (source:babycenter):-

3-Month Old Development
Even though your baby has been able to recognize you since he was just a few days old, he may now be able to show it. About half of babies this age begin to exhibit an obvious recognition of their parents.
(It's pretty obvious that Aliff recognises familiar faces. He smiles and coos instantenously when he sees me or his Ayah, bibik, or Abg Ashraff (he simply idolise his brother). But when he sees strangers, he will start to look straight into their eyes, and if he does not prefer them, he'll start crying. Like he has started developing stranger anxiety, which is very unlikely in Ashraff. Ashraff is a social butterfly... )

At times, Aliff is trying hard to roll-over. He is not as persistent as his brother, but he shows good effort in doing so. I hope he'll be able to master the skill soon, probably with tangan tersepit in the beginning.

This is what I love about babies. They show significant development every month, in fact every week. It's so fun to watch them grow (of course it comes together with bags of worries and lack of sleep).

Weight-wise, Aliff has not increase much as compared to when he was 2-mo. This is resulted from a ight drop in the mid of last month where he weights only 6.1 kg. Then he picked up really fast after full recovery. Now he weights 6.8 kgs!

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WATCH ASHRAFF GROW

Ashraff nowadays is so into pen and paper. He likes to scribble down things on paper. So far, no damage is done on other places i.e. the wall, cabinets, floor etc. We've been training him to write and draw only on paper since the first time we saw him holding a pen. Alhamdulillah, he obeys to the rule, hopefully sampai bila-bila...

At times, he would insists us to draw Ultraman or Power Rangers so that boleh lawan dengan dragon, katanya... I'm not a good artists so if he asked me, I can't fulfill his desire..hubby too. But Tok Mak is his saviour...

Ashraff has been writing on rough paper using a pen all this while. So I thot of giving him proper materials for him to express his imagination. Thus, I bought these while book browsing at T1mes...

He was thrilled by the newly purchased arts materials. Of course, the penggeli Ashraff will look at his dirty hands everytime he draws something. But, I told him it's washable so he continues drawing...one after another...

Here are some of Ashraff's masterpieces for the time being...

I'm sure more will come after this. I was thinking of buying some arts and crafts books for kids so I could explore together with Ashraff during some of my limited free time. Something which I'm longing to do since Ashraff is merely a baby. Or perhaps the cheapskate me can just browse at the Net to get some free arts and crafts ideas...should I have extra time...

Next on my list is finger painting...We bought the necessary materials last weekend but we haven't try it as yet. I don't know whether my super-duper pembersih and penggeli Ashraff will like that idea...Belum cuba, belum tahu...

Oh yeah, did I tell you we have enrol Ashraff in a weekend programme for kids his age at L0rn@ Wh1st0n at Taman Tun last Sunday? We went for the trial and Ashraff seems to enjoy the class, so we sign-up for the programme. Will give it a go for one term and we will see how thereafter (see how means see Ashraff's acceptance, our budget and our willingness to travel from Ampang to Tmn Tun every Sunday!).

A new gadget.

After more than two years wearing Nok1a 3120, I've eventually made the decision to upgrade the phone I have to this...

It's not that I want to but HAVE to. The old handphone is totally a gone case! Ashraff has been treating the handphone just like one of his toys i.e. throwing and slamming it everywhere...so you could somehow guess the outcome. The phone just cracked. I tried to survive the humiliation for carrying a rubberband handphone for almost 3 months. My collegues and hubby have been making fun of it but I tak amik pot pun...There are few occasions where my handphone rang in the middle of my LRT ride and as I took the handphone out from my bag, I have the feeling that the whole LRT is looking at me. But I still tak amik pot. For me, as long as I could make a phone call/sms and receive call/sms, there's no reason for me to buy a new one. Talking about stingy brat...

Hubby symphatise with me and bought me a new casing. Unfortunately, not the casing that is cracked but the body of the handphone. So, tukar casing pun tak jalan.

Till one day, my battery went flat despite me charging it for the whole night. I tried charging it again. Cucuk punya cucuk, still tak boleh charge. At that time, it dawned to me that it's time for me to dispose my precious handphone and buy a new one.

Nasib baik I have some extra savings this month, so bolehlah nak beli yang canggih sikit with camera, MP3, 3G and what not...One drawback tho. I forgot that I have saved some of my contacts in my phone memory (instead of SIM memory), so now I've lost some of the important numbers. Actually, banyak jugak...

Please don't be suprised if you got my email asking for your contact number...

3 Miserable Nights, 1 Memorable Event

Last week was so eventful, thus the next three entries are dedicated to cover all the ‘happening’ occasions - Aliff's 3rd time in the hospital, our 4th anniversary, Aliff's cukur jambul ceremony and brother-in-law's wedding reception (an army wedding not to be missed).

13th January, 14th January and 15th January 2007

Aliff was again admitted to the hospital. For the 3rd time in his 2 ½ months life. Pretty sad, isn’t it? This time around, it was due to bronchitis. He has been coughing for one week and has lost his voice.

That night, on the 13th January, Aliff was crying unconsolably. As usual, we suspected it must have been colic. Since it was time to give his usual dose of cough medicine and antibiotic, and not forgotten Dentinox for his colic, we proceeded in doing so, despite the cry. It was a wrong decision altogether. As we shove in the last medicine, Aliff was choking and gasping for air. His face has suddenly turned blue. My mother who was holding him that time panicked and shook his body to make him breathe. I was stunned (I think I forget how to breathe myself). Hubby being the knight in shining armour that night, immediately took Aliff from Mak, patted his back firmly till Aliff finally coughed. My maid then put his finger inside Aliff’s mouth to take out all the phlegm. Phewwhhh…It was a horrible sight.

Shortly after, we drove to hospital and yes, Aliff was admitted. In fact, he was the youngest baby in the ward. Aliff was on nebuliser every three hourly for three nights. But alhamdulillah, he recovered well and finally got back his voice, despite all the crying everytime he is on nebuliser.

As a result off constant crying, my usual placid baby is no longer calm and contented. He has turned into a fussy baby, much to my dismay. His brother, Ashraff was a demanding baby, so I thought I was lucky to have a happy baby this time around. Rupa-rupanya, harapan tinggal harapan. In fact, it is tougher this time around as we couldn’t find way to soothe him everytime he cries. The moment he wakes up from his sleep, he will coo for about 5 to 10 minutes, and then whines till he sleeps again. In the evening, things got worsen as it is his peak time for colic. At night, he couldn’t sleep well, again, due to his colic. Seriously, I’m exhausted especially now that abang dia pulak is down with runny nose and cough. Memang dugaan betul dalam membesarkan anak. If u look at me now, I’m slimmer than my pre-pregnancy figure…*LOL*..except for the apparent eye bag…and not to mention, skin break-outs…

17th January 2007

Four years ago, on the same date, me and hubby selamat diijabkabulkan.Four years later, we are still much in love and happily married. And now blessed with two sons, Ashraff and Aliff.

Happy 4th Anniversary, dear. Thank you for being a supportive husband and be there for me through good times and bad times.