This is my life...

About Pantang...with Azraa..

2011-07-29T16:24:00.011+08:00

After having four babies and going through the whole process, the part that I hate most is during the 44 days confinement..that is the longest 44 days of my life...& can be the most stressful one. I guess I can't be confined in a place for too long..that does not work for me. I need to get a breathe of fresh air after sometimes..at some other place.

I had my pantang at my mom's house. We decided to ditch the idea of pantang in JB as we encountered some problem in obtaining a maid right after Azraa's birth. So the idea of hiring a confinement lady for 2 weeks at the very last minute was a brilliant one.

Hubby was still in Johor during the first 2 weeks of my pantang. Alhamdulillah he got a new job in KL. His last day at his old company was in the end of June..and his new job started in mid of July. So he had a 2 weeks rest at home helping me coping up with my pantang.

Mak restricted me from going up and down the stairs, so I had to choose on staying up or down. I choose up as that is where the Astro is..hehe...

So what else..watch TV lor. Here is my typical everyday life:-

8.00 am - wake up.
8.00 - 9.00 am - mandi, berbengkung, pilis and what not (has few sessions of urut in the first few days).
9.35 - 10.30 am - Desperate Housewives at 711.
10.30 - 12.00 - tukar2 channel..sometimes watch P.Ramlee movie..sometimes channel E!..AXN..
12.00 - 12.50 - Wanita Hari Ini
12.50 - 1.40 - NCIS at 710. Seriously, I've never watch NCIS before...best rupanya!
1.40 - 4.00 - rest and nap time (usually I took a nap for abt an hour only, the rest I just lay in bed..).
4.00 pm - Layan slot Lagenda TV3.
4.30 - 5.30 pm - Switch to 104 - Awan Dania. Also never watched this before but due to recommendation by a friend saying that Dania is the only girl..and she has 3 brothers, I watched it.
5.30 - 6.00 pm - minum petang, mandi..another round of bengkung.
6.00 onwards - random and wait for the night to come..phobia, phobia..

Yup, during confinement, I'm always scared of the night time. While I was pregnant with Ashraff, I heard lots of stories whereby newborn does not usually sleep at night. So when I brought Ashraff home for the first time, I kept on looking at the clock and see whether he will sleep when the night comes. Alhamdulillah, he is a good night sleeper...and so were his brothers.

But not Azraa. I went through some tough nights with her, where she will wake up every hour screaming as though she was in pain. She will only sleep using my arms as her pillow...or else she will wake up immediately. Seriously, I got impatient with her at times. But after about one month or so, I already got used to it...and then I thought, I prayed for a healthy, perfect, easy to care girl throughout my pregnancy. So Allah granted me a healthy and perfect girl..but not the easy part. You don't always get what you want. But this does not mean that she will forever be like this. I suspected that she has some disturbed nights due to the gassy feeling in her tummy which the pain she could not tolerate. So that shall pass around 3 months old. The first 3 months is like the first trimester of pregnancy - it's the hardest one for me. After having to go through 4 colicky babies, I've made a conclusion that it is my overactive letdown that caused them to be gassy.

Like Aliff, Azraa also suffered from prolonged jaundice. She was admitted to the hospital for 3 nights when she was one week old. Then we had the jaundice checked every week until she was about one month old. Alhamdulillah, now she is fine.

Azraa was discharged on 27 June 2011.

After four children, I decided to use buaian elektrik (electric cradle?) for this one. All of my fours will have a longer nap when they are put on a moving gadgets/vehicle. We never use any for Ashraff..it's dodoi all the way and his nap lasted for 1/2 hour only. We used the manual buaian for Aliff and that buaian has to be on the move all the time or else he'll wake up cranky due to insufficient sleep. With Aqieff, we use the bouncer and it has to be bounced all the time as well. To save the trouble, I decided to use buaian elektrik this time around so we could do other jobs like attending to the older kids rather than melayan kerenah si cilik je.

We bought this second-hand

Azraa is also using pacifier to soothe her just like Abang Ashraff and Abang Aqieff. I rried to refrain myself from giving in to the dummy but Azraa has great sucking need and due to my overactive letdown she hates to be on my breast except when she is hungry. We'll see how long does all these gadgets last this time around. It took Abang Ashraff 2 1/2 years and Aqieff 16 months.

Azraa has two sets of pacifier. One bought by Ayah and another by Ibu. Can you spot the difference?:)

So far, I still exclusively breastfeed Azraa. But I have a plan to start introducing her to formula as we might be going for a holiday (just me and Hubby) end of this year, insyaAllah.

My 'stocks' at the last day of my confinement. Not as much as Aliff's and Aqieff's sebab Ibu malas nak pam tapi bolehlah..

Next week Monday I will be going back to the office. Azraa will be taken care by a maid. Maid...yup..finally. We got a maid on 1 July 2011. A 30-year old lady named Minah. So far, she's doing a great job. And I hope this one stays..

Most people will ask me "will this be your last one?". For the time being, yup. Even if I got another boy, it shall be my last. After all, I'm no longer young. The last trimester with Azraa was unbearable..so I don't think I can go through it again. But who are we to know? Kalau dah ada rezeki, kami terima je dengan tangan terbuka. Just look at Lynette Scav0 of Desprerate Housewives..after so long, she got her no 5.

One month old Azraa
Weight : 4.4 kilos.

The Birth of Our Lil Princess

2011-07-27T14:40:00.012+08:00

Two weeks before the delivery, I had my usual check-up at APSH. It turned out to be that my blood pressure is at a borderline (unexpected..but not surprise as this is not my first case involving high BP). Since it was just borderline, Dr Fauziah gave me one week to monitor my blood pressure and if it surpassed the acceptable limit, I had to be put to labour straight away. For the next 7 days, every morning and evening, I had my BP checked at either the clinic at my office, or near my house, or at home with Mak's machine. Still under control.

After a week, I had to see her again. My BP is still at borderline. So she gave me one week MC (actually I asked for it..hehe) and instruct me to continue monitor my BP. If it is still under control, I were to come back another week and from there I can decide whether I want to be put into labour or continue being pregnant and let nature takes it course.

I came back to see my gynae after a week. Unfortunately, Dr Fauziah was on leave so a locum gynae i.e Dr Sharifah was in-charged that day. By then I could not take the ritual of having to monitor my BP daily, so I decided for her to induce me.

The date is 13th June 2011.

11.00 am
I was admitted to Room 324 of APSH.

Seriously APSH badly needs a make-over for their rooms.

At 1.00 pm
Nurse put one pill 'downunder' to induce the labour. And to my suprise, the pain starts immediately. This surprised me as in the case of Ashraff and Aliff, I did not feel the pain until water bag was broken. I don't know whether is it because my pain tolerance has increased or because of my age, but boy, was it painful..and it is not even dilated for more than 2 cms. Gosh!

4.15 pm
I was brought to labour room. Dilation only 2.5 cm. What a slow progress!

5.30 pm
Had my epidural jap. Just like my 3rd delivery, I did ask for epidural from the start, not because of the labour pain, but the pain that I had to bear when the episiotomy was done. Pelik tapi benar..hehe. But this time around, I'm glad I did ask for epidural, as I could not tolerate the labour pain. Entah kenapa. After the epidural, I could finally relax..and doze off.

At about 6.00 pm
Water bag was broken.

Around 6.15
Hubby told me he was hungry and going down to have a quick meal. I was only 4 cm dilated. I got a phone call from my cousin, Tini which I answered happily. Chat on the phone like I wasn't in labour. That's the beauty of epidural...hehe. At the same time, I could hear the person next door in her active labour.

At about 6.45 pm
Suddenly I feel the urge to push. I push the call button for the nurse. It took them few minutes to come as they are all attended to the delivery next door. In the meantime, I called up Hubby who was still enjoying his meal downstairs. "Yang, i rasa macam nak meneran dah!". "Ok, I datang sekarang."

The nurse came and checked on my cervix. "Ok, dah ready.." and she prepared the room for labour - the lights, the tools..and tried to call Dr Sharifah at the same time. She tried to call the doc numerous times but there seemed to be no answer. I was panicky..and I could not bear the need to push any longer. I was asked to hold on while she tried to get hold of the doctor. What?! Seriously, I was not an easy thing to do so I took the gas to ease the pain whenever the urge came. Finally she could talk to the doctor..and guess what, she had an emergency OT.

"Puan boleh tunggu lagi 15 minit?" 15 minit?! 1 minit pun dah tak boleh dah!

So the nurse was proactive enough. He called up the gynae next door who had just finished her delivery to attend to me. She is Dr Ariza. The moment she came in she immediately asked me to push.

At 7.07 pm
Our one & only princess was born! She is a healthy baby..alhamdulillah...

Name : Azraa binti Mohd Fitri

DOB : 13 June 2011 (11 days before the EDD)
Weight at Birth : 3.22 kg.
Length at Birth : 53 cms (all my children have the same length).

Suara dia boleh tahan..lantang..reminds me a lot of Abang Ashraff..

So if people ask me which gynae attends to me...I would say that for check-up is Dr Fauziah, but she was on leave so Dr Sharifah replaced her..but she had an emergency OT, so Dr Ariza yang sambut..phewhhh!

Dr Ariza doing episiotomy while Dr Sharifah with her OT outfit busy chatting with the nurse.

Welcome to the family, my dear Azraa! You are our precious gem that the Ibu & Ayah (& Abg Ashraff) have been waiting for. You complete us...and you are very lucky to have three big brothers to love and protect you.

Read about Ashraff's birth here, Aliff's birth here and Aqieff''s birth here.

Ashraff & Exam..

2011-05-24T08:18:00.002+08:00

Ashraff's mid-sem started yesterday. And seriously as a mother I have not done well to monitor and guide him..and am definitely not proud of it.

I could only bank on his intelligence and hope that he doesn't make any silly mistakes like in the past. Thank God Hubby was around the whole week last week so he did manage to teach Ashraff few subjects.

But that isn't the crucial part. The critical part is when Ashraff feel sick last Friday. He started to develop slight fever and liquid stool. And then it stopped for one day. Then on Sunday night, it started again. Although it's not like the normal case of food poisoning where you vomit and have frequent bowel movement, this time it's just one or two movement but it's in liquid form. I bought him to the clinic immediately.

Yesterday, he started to lose appetite. Mak had to bring him to the clinic again to get an MC while I called up the teacher to tell him about Ashraff's condition. The teacher told me he has to take the exam or else it will be forfeited and there is a big possibility that he might drop to a lower ranking class next year. Alamak!

So Mak again (to the rescue) drove him to the school and he took his exam in the school office. He started his first paper like any other students but he can move on to the next paper immediately. So all in all, he completed his exams (3 papers altogether) less than 1 1/2 hour.

I don't know how he perform in such condition but I just hope and pray he will be able to answer all the questions well.

As for now, I am not really worry about the exam but I'm worry about his health condition. He is losing weight and still the condition does not improve after 2 days. You see, after what had happened to arwah Abah, we are phobia when it comes to stomach problem. I hope that nothing serious has happened to Ashraff and it's just a temporary situation. We plan to bring him to see paeditrician once his exam is over and if the condition still persist.

For now, just pray that he is okay..keep on praying...

Handmade Gift for Teacher's Day.

2011-05-16T11:39:00.000+08:00

The boys are excited over celebrating Teacher's Day at school. Especially Ashraff who has new set of teachers this year. One week in advance he has started to write notes to the teachers with the message 'I Love You' and put it in an envelope. He told me he wants to give his teachers on Teacher's Day.

Instead of having a plain white paper with brown envelope, I decided to bring him to our favourite stationery shop and bought few coloured paper stocks for him to make a proper handmade cards for his teachers. He decided to give his favourite teachers notebook as gift (ok yang ni tak handmadelah). Out of 9 teachers, he shortlisted to only 4 including his class teachers.

Of course, Aliff jumped in the bandwagon and decided to give his teachers too.

As for me, I intend to experiment with something new and decided to make paper bag from a normal envelope.

So starting Saturday night, the boys are busy making their teachers cards...

And me with the paper bag...voila! I did it!

And here is the finish product...

Inside : A Handmade Card and a notebook.

Inside: A Handmade Card and set of scented candle. I also bought smaller scented candle for the rest of his teachers. He has about 14 teachers altogether.

I guess this is going to be an annual event. And soon there will be Aqieff joining...

Lama-lama sure dah takde idea nak bagi apa.

International Book Fair

2011-04-24T20:05:00.009+08:00

Twice in a row we visited PWTC. Last Sunday is for SmartKids expo & today is for the International Book Fair.

Seriously it's been a loooonggg while I visited the Book Fair. I remember Mak used to bring me to the International Book Fair when I was young. That time it was held at Changkat Pavillion.

Anyway, book has been the family's common interest..so we burn quite a hole in our pocket for purchasing books today.

And somebody decided to get 'jiwang' a bit, so I bought myself this Malay novel. I can't remember when was the last time I read Malay novel..I think it's more than 5 years ago from my favourite Malay author, Lamia A1mal entitled 3 Wajah.

After that I always hesitate on buying one..afraid that some fictions have over-the-top lovey-dovey, too sentimental storyline.

But this book seems to attract me and it so happens the author is there to promote the book..

So just put on my reading gear, find time and start reading...

My brand new gadget

2011-04-23T23:39:00.007+08:00

I'm not a gadget freak..I don't have a capacity to do it..

So I will only get a new gadget when my old gadget is dysfunctional. And this time it involves my 3-year old phone. The casing broke, the screen got off and most importantly, the system keeps on hang/stuck so at times I could not received sms/calls on time.

So after almost two weeks of browsing the net, reading reviews, asking friends for feedback, I finally got myself a brand new gadget.

Wuhuuu! Eventually, Rafiqah is on smartphone...I hope it is a wise investment.

Currently, still in the godek-godek mood...so many things to explore, it can be overwhelming at time. Yelah, kami budak baru belajar..

Thank you so much Nokia 6220 for your wonderful companion for the past 3 years..I'm gonna miss you...

Oh by the way, Mak also got herself a new handphone today, after more than 5 years. Nokia X3 with touch-and-type function.

Canggih mak aku!

How do you shop for a Girl?

2011-04-22T19:50:00.000+08:00

My dream, even before I got married, is to have a daughter. Primarily is of course because of the lovely girlish, pinkish, princess-like clothing. And then I have this visionary of accompanying them for a manicure, pedicure, spa and go into the you-comb-my-hair-i-comb-your-hair routine.

The thing is I grew up mostly with girls. Out of my 33 cousins, only 7 of them are boys and they are all way younger than I do. And I went to an all-girls school. So the thought of having a boy of my own, never seems to interest me.

But after having 3 wonderful boys, I lost touch of the 'girl world'. I learn to be tough and more aggresive, just to acclimatize with their world so that I do not feel left out.

I hardly look at the girls session everytime I shop. It's always t-shirts and pants with bright colors - red, yellow, blue, green and design with cars, balls, Ben10, Ultraman, Spiderman, Batman (and macam2 Man lagi).

Now when we know that it's going to be a girl this time around, we know that we have to start shopping before I get even heavier.

Okay, one thing, I still couldn't get over the fact that it's a girl. It's beyond my imagination. I need the gynae to tell me the gender everytime I went for a check-up..and I think I need to have at least two more ultrasound sessions before I'm betul-betul convinced (kes teruk ni). Only then, I'll really shop for one. And trust me, by that time I will be very heavy.

There was this one time when it so happened me and Hubby past by M0thercare. I told him let's see what we can buy for our girl (if it's really a girl).

So, after 7 years of ignoring completely that session, for the first time I actually touched and belek-belek a girl's dress...and I went completely blank!

"Kenapa tak menarik pun?"

As opposed to the bright colours for boys, girls wear pastel colours - pink, lilac, aqua, soft yellow..

"Malapnya!"

"And femininenya...ada butterfly, ada flower..pastu gambar princess and fairy...

"Lepas tu ada leggingslah, skirtlah, dresslah..ishk tak pandai nak pilihlah!"

Hubby laughed hearing my comment.

At last, we ended up buying the boys' clothes.

Seriously, what happened to me after 7 years of buying boys' stuffs?

If I'm convinced enough that it is going to be a girl, I better learn to shop for one...and I think I need a companion who can show me how to shop for a girl coz now I'm totally clueless!

The Boys and Life

2011-04-15T23:37:00.000+08:00

It's been a very long while since I update on the boys..So beware, it is a long entry...

The Matured and Serious Ashraff

Do you know that Ashraff is currently wearing glasses? Yes! He does...since November last year. His eyesight is deteriorating and we noticed it since he always read very closely to the book. And when his kindergarten teacher told us that he always walked in front of the class to take a look at the whiteboard, complaining that he could not see at the back, we had to bring him to see an eye specialist. And goodness me, he currently has the power of 200 for each eye. That's a lot for a start! And this is not my proudest moment.

I guess this runs in my gene as I started wearing glasses when I was in Standard One. Just like me, Ashraff has to wear specs because he read books with no proper lighting, which is very bad for the eyesight. Not because of using PC as he seldom does that. Anyway, is there a way to improve his eyesight especially at this tender age?

Oh yes, my boy is currently in Standard One for the past 4 months. It was rough start especially in the first few weeks as he had trouble finding his way to the right van to take him home...and then there is money issue - duit hilang, duit orang ambik, wallet tertinggal etc. There is also this classic situation where he left the entire school bag at school, and since he is in the afternoon session, so Ayah has to search for his bag at school during the night.

But now he is coping well, alhamdulillah. We have trained him to pack his own schoolbag so that he could and would not blame us if we left certain things or books. We also tell him to listen carefully to the teachers' instructions as this is no longer kindergarten where there is some form of written communication between teachers and parents.

Ashraff is no longer the tak-buat-homework-pun-takpe boy like he used to during his kindergarten days. Nowadays, he is very concern that he finishes all his homework as given. 'Takut cikgu marah', katanya. I hope he'll stay this way forever.

And why I said he is serious? Because indeed he is. He cannot take joke lightly. I always tell him to chill, but I guess he is the studious one in the family..and being a big brother, he matures fast as he knows he is the role model to his siblings. And now that Ayah is in Johor during weekdays, he has to take up the role of the man of the house. If Ibu tak sempat monitor kerja rumah Aliff, then Ashraff will be the one who do it. He will teach Aliff and make sure Aliff finishes his homework.

Now I'm training him to pray, at least Maghrib and Isya'. I told him that he is 7 years old now so if he doesn't do it that I will have to hit him with a cane/hanger. But so far, he is very cooperative in performing his solat. He has basic knowledge of it since he was in Islamic kindy for two years, except that after a while leaving kindy he tends to forget how to do it. We just need to remind and encourage him to do it..and hopefully if I can do it religiously enough, he can perform solat independently.

The Cheeky and Talkative Aliff

Aliff is going to be 5 this November. Still a chatter-box and I think he has the most word count in a day. He knows his ABC, 123 and Aliff, Ba, Ta well..and now he has started to spell and read simple words. He is still weak in spoken English. And I guess part of it is contributed by us. We seldom practice talking English with him.

Being a 2nd child, he has the 2nd child syndrome with him. He loves to bother his brother, both older and younger brother. Rasanya KPI (key performance indicator) dia ialah "dalam satu hari kena buat at least one of them cry". Seriously, that irritates the brother..and me.

He is not the type that you can slow talk to or negotiable. He just would not listen. Frankly speaking, he is the hardest to manage for the time being.

But he is also the one who knows how to melt your heart with his smiles, action and soothing words. Unlike Ashraff who is more individualistic, Aliff is more sensitive to how I feel. He knows when I'm feeling down. In fact, he is the only one who always come to me and massage my feet, back and shoulder and talk to the baby inside my tummy.

He is also the joker of the family. He doesn't realize that sometimes the words that came out from his mouth are funny enough to make us laugh.

Aliff is so into 'susu kalsium'..a name he called for fresh milk. He no longer an eater like he used. Pretty hard to make him eat, so I'm now resorting to giving him multivits with lysine to increase his appetite. He hates it so much because of the sweet taste - both the tablet and liquid form.

The Sweet Aqieff

Aqieff is going to be 2 in July, right after his sister/brother is born. Among the 3, I have to say that he has the slowest development in terms of speech, which worries me. Most people say it is just slow development, but I'm worried if it is more serious than that.

We went to see peaditrician last week and we were told that by this age, he has to know at least 10 words. I don't think he is anywhere near that. Yes, he understands instruction well and babbles a lot, trying hard to communicate with us, but no proper word comes out from his mouth. I'll wait until he is 2 years old and if things remain the same, I shall bring him to the speech therapist. Maybe, just maybe, it is slow development after all.

And lately he falls sick a lot. Almost every month he is on antibiotics. He is just like Ashraff at this age. I guess not breastfeeding them for long contributes to that, as Aliff isn't anywhere near that, so far. And just like Ashraff, he is also a choosy eater. Even at this age, he is still on cereal. We tried giving him porridge, but he will just throw up. But these few days he has started to show some improvement by wanting to eat rice. We gave him bit by bit as he still needs to learn how to chew and swallow. I think he will skip porridge completely and straight to eating rice.

He is also the easiest to manage so far, right from the day he was born. If not because of his illness which caused him to become cranky, Aqieff will usually play on his own or watch and interact with TV. Other than that, he will play with his brothers. He loves to dance to the music and I must say, he's good at it.

Despite the easy-going him, he still rise to the occassion everytime his brothers turns aggressive. He knows how to protect himself by turning himself into an equally aggressive little boy. He is catching up real fast with Aliff's height. If Aliff doesn't speed up, Aqieff might turn out to be taller than he is.

He is still my sweet lil Aqieff who loves to smile...

The boys common interest

1. Books

We don't have much toys in the house. But when it comes to books, it's a different ball game together. We have tonnes of them. We have a wall-to-wall bookcase, which placed all our books. Hubby of course with his CPA and MBA books. And me with my novels, arts and crafts books...and the boys, well, their books take the whole section...

I bought the set of Time Publishing Encyclopedia when Ashraff was about 3 years old. Paid by installment for 2 years, and only now, I can see it put to full use. The two boys love it.

Not only on the shelves, but on their study table as well...

Specifically, Ashraff loves to read books about animals...encyclopedia that is. He knows detailed facts about animals..like how many types of snakes, which is venomous and which isn't, and which snake can be found where. And there are five classes of animals - mammals, reptiles, amphibians, bird and fish...and what makes each classes different. What is vetebrata and what is inverbrata...the difference between herbivor, amnivor and carnivor. Wow! He is like a our in-house zoologist.

Aliff, on the other hand, loves robotics stuffs...machines, aircrafts etc. He told us he wants to be a pilot when he grows up. We told him to study hard and take care of his eyesight, don't fall into Ashraff's trap.

Above is the kind of book Aliff loves, other than the normal colouring and sticker book.

Aqieff has started to follow suit. He not only look at the picture, but he also pointed at the words, and sounds as though he is trying to read. Bunyi macam mengeja pun ada. Funny. Of course, he is on board books, hasil peninggalan abang-abangnya. Most of them are still in good condition.

2. Drawing and scribbling

The boys adore drawing according to their interest. Ashraff will go for animals..and sometimes cartoon characters. He can even make out simple quiz for us or Aliff to answer.

Apart from that, he can write stories based on the illustration made.

There's this one time, he made a complete book with illustration and storyline.

Aliff is into robots and building. He is improving really fast in drawing.

Aqieff, emmm...just scribble. But at this age, he already knows how to hold pencil properly, just like his brothers.

3. Balik Kampung Trip

The boys are always looking forward to a getaway at kampung. The things is we hardly could fulfill their request because Ayah has classes during weekends and even on long holidays. But now that Ayah has completed his MBA, we intend to go back to Pontian as often as we can. Plus, I look forward to the trip too.

The boys like to main batu every morning...evening...

Fuhh! Finally...I've managed to complete this entry..after taking about 4 days drafting and editing. Now it's time to publish...tadaa!

Tooth Fairy datang rumah?

2011-04-14T22:12:00.005+08:00

12 April 2011 is another milestone for Ashraff.

Buat pertama kalinya, gigi susu dia tercabut! Ayah dengan cekal hatinya telah menjadi dentist lalu mengikat dan menarik gigi yang goyang itu dengan benang. Ibu telah menutup matanya kerana berasa sangat gerun. Yikes!

But it's pretty stubborn to fall, so the permanent teeth has started to grow..dengan buruk..alignment lari!

Seriously kena simpan duit for orthodontic treatment.

And today another teeth fall out on its own. Bangun2 tidur je, gigi dah ada dalam mulut. Nasib baik tak tertelan.

Life as a 'Single Parent'

2011-04-10T12:11:00.005+08:00

It's been one week since Hubby is off to Johor for work. I survived the first one week...yeay!
But it's not as smooth sailing, which is what I expected. It is a tough life..

Basically, this is my daily weekdays schedule as a single weekday parent:-

Wake up at about 5.30-6.00 am., prepare breakfast for Aliff. Just a simple breakfast - nugget or sausage or sandwich..depends on what he wants and usually he tells me one day before.
Subuh prayer. Gosok tudung (I prefer to do this myself instead of asking the maid to do it).
Prepare Aliff's school bag (if it was not done during the night) and Aliff's uniform + underwear + socks on the bed.
Ensure that the maid woke up Aliff at 6.30 to prepare him for school. Ok, this is the most tedious task in the morning. Crying, wailing, nak-tidur-lagi and tak-nak-sekolah from Aliff.
Make Aliff eat his breakfast and drink his milk.
6.50 am - woke Ashraff up, ensure that he brushes his teeth and make up his bed (lipat selimut, susun bantal, tegangkan cadar). Ashraff is a morning person so he has no problem in that area, alhamdulillah.
7.00 am - angkat Aqieff from his bed and leave the house for Mak's. Mak shall send Aliff to school as it is a bit too early for me to send him directly.
Park our Innova at Mak's house..and borrow Mak's Honda to work. Sorry, I'm still not confident to drive an MPV to work. 7.10 am - leave for work. I have to leave early to ensure that I have the perfect parking spot. You see, I don't have a dedicated parking space at my office as I never drive to work before.
8.00 am - reached office.
9.00 am to 6.00 pm - work, work and work.
6.30 pm - reached Mak's house. Sometimes I'll fetch Aliff at school but most of the times, Mak did it for me.
6.30 - 7.00 pm - take a lil bit of rest. Lie down, put my feet on pillow.
7.00 pm - Ashraff is back from school. Ensure that he takes a bath, while I have my Maghrib prayer. Ensure that Ashraff performs his Maghrib prayer. For the time being, I'll monitor and guide him.
8.00 pm - we had our dinner - me, Mak and the boys.
8.30 - 9.00 pm - reached our home.
9.00 pm - ensure that Ashraff does his homework and do a little bit of revision. Aliff usually will join his brother - either learning to read, writing or drawing...or join Aqieff to watch TV. I'll ask the maid to look after Aqieff while I change to my nightwear and perform Isya' prayer.
Ashraff will pack his own bag based on his daily timetable. And I'll check to make sure his homework is done and the bag are packed accordingly. At times I just trust him as by then Aqieff is crying for me to put him to sleep. But Ashraff insists on Isya' prayer before he goes to sleep. So I'll carry and try to soothe Aqieff, while guiding Ashraff with his prayer.
10.00 pm - the boys are ready for bed. Kiss them goodnight...and put Aqieff to bed. ZZzzz...

Well, now that I put it in writing, it doesn't look tough as it sounds. But of course, in the middle of it all, there comes the time when the boys fight, cry, refused to listen to instruction etc, which in my condition, could drive me up the wall! And there are also time which I have to drive Ashraff to stationery store as he needs to buy some material for his Seni subject.

Plus, Aqieff has not been well. He has a runny nose, cough and fever. Now he is still on antibiotics. And because he does not feel well, his sleep is disrupted. He will wake up few times at night crying and I had to soothe him. So, I haven't got much rest even during the night. There are two nights which I have to leave Aqieff to sleep with Mak's maid because I badly need a rest. Do I feel guilty? Yes! Yes! Yes! I never leave him (or any of my children) to sleep with maid, except at one time when I was admitted to the hospital. But I have to accept certain things in a positive way...just to keep my sanity.

And I was still lucky as compared to many parent who are of the same situation as I am. One, because I have my mother with me. She helps me a lot, especially in terms of meal. At least, as I came back from the office, dinner is ready to be served. Two, Ashraff is kind, helpful and mature enough to alleviate my burden.

Hubby does his fair share of responsibility, remotely. He ordered our groceries need online so at about 8pm at night, the things shall arrive at Mak's house. "Takyah lah you pergi G1ant," katanya.

And for maid, well, I still need to send her home middle of this month. And so far, fat chance of getting a replacement in time. So I intend to move to Mak's house once the maid is no longer around. I don't quite prefer this notion as there is proper facility for the boys like study table or their own room. They have to sleep at Mak's room, and usually they'll wait for Mak to put them to sleep. Mak pulak has her own schedule, some late night TV series that she loves to watch. So, the boys will usually sleep late at night and ended up waking up late...Aliff will normally go to school at 8.30 or 9.00. Seriously, I don't quite like the arrangement. But I have not much choice, do I? I don't think I have the energy to handle all three + my big tummy alone especially during the morning rush.

For now, all I can hope and pray is for Allah to give me good health and energy so I can handle the situation well. Have to admit, they are few times that I almost breakdown and cry as my body could not take it anymore...my feet are aching as I'm on my foot most of the times and my back is killing me. I'm not strong...but I'm trying to be one. I just hope that my kids..and Hubby appreciate my effort so far.

Praying hard for things to get better...

Too many things on my plate!!

2011-03-30T19:00:00.004+08:00

Ok, I'm getting heavier...that's nothing new here..

But on top of that there are some additions to my almost full plate..

1) Maid

Yup, we just got ourself a new maid. She came 4 days ago from Bandung with the help of my friend who deals directly from her Indonesian acquantaince. This particular maid is supposedly to become my friend's maid but due to urgency she has taken other maid, so this maid is given to me instead.

We took her from my friend's house last Sunday...and exactly the next morning while I was busy preparing breakfast for Aliff, she came to me and told me that she has medical problem i.e. Hepatitis B. What?!! How does that happened? I was told by my friend that her medical record from the check-up done in Indonesia is clear. So where does this medical problem comes from?

As soon as I arrived at the office, I rang my friend to tell her the news. She was shocked as she was told by the agent in Indonesian that the medical record is clear prior to proceed with making her passport. And this maid also told my friend that she has no medical problem. So siapa yang tipu siapa ni? Agen Indonesia yang tipu? Atau maid ni yang tipu sebab dia nak balik?

You see, my friend told me that as soon as this maid arrived in Malaysia, she seems to have second thought about working in Malaysia..so she called up her husband, and her husband told her to return. Senang je cakap.

So, at first we thought that this Hepatitis thingy is a made-up story for us to return her to her country. But we were wrong. Yesterday, my friend received the medical report via fax from the agent and from the record shows that indeed she has a minor Hepatitis B. So, from what I deduce here, the agent has cheated on us as according to the verbal agreement, passport is only to be done should the medical record is clear. Now, things do not turn out this way.

And the maid did not know that she has to do a second medical check-up in Malaysia in order for us to 'legalize' her stay here. So when my friend asked her before, she said that she is okay.

Now that things turn out this way, the maid is begging for me to send her home as she feels uncomfortable staying. But my friend told her to stay (her tourist visa lasted for one month) until the agent finds her replacement.

The maid feels so stressed out with the whole scenario until she burns a hole in my maternity blouse while ironing. I take it as she did it unintentionally (lebih baik berfikir baik) but that does not stop me from being annoyed and mad at her. Dia fikir dia je stress, how about me? Duit dah keluar, maid tak dapat...gee...

We'll see how things go today. But for the time being, we hope and pray we could get a replacement maid as soon as possible without burning further hole in our already burned pocket.

2) Relocation

In the midst of maid's problem, Hubby just got a letter this afternoon from his management for his relocation to Johor. This is not something new to us as we are already expecting this since end of last year. But now that reality strikes, I feel so emotionally unprepared. Wow...to think of not having Hubby around to assist me with the kids are something a bit too unbearable. I know there are a lot of wives and mothers out there who are of the same position as I am going to be, but they may be super-wife and mother but I am not.

Yes, I have a mother who lives nearby...and maybe a helpful live-in maid one day. But the responsibility of raising the children still lies with us...so not having him around to help, is a tough scenario for me.

And to top it all off, the letter stated that there will be no salary adjustment for him i.e. he is promoted to a higher position with the same salary earned. What?!! I really don't believe this! Our cost of living will increase substantially...with rental and 2 cars to maintain (one in KL and one in JB), cost of him going back and forth every weekend...and yet no salary increment?! You got to be kidding!

All this while, I thought having to make emotional (and perhaps physical) sacrifices without him around is substantiate with at least a better financial position (although that is nothing compared to his presence in the house)...but now with this news? Our lives seems to be deteriorating in two ways - emotionally and financially!

Seriously now I could not think straight. There are two many things on my plate...belum selesai masalah maid and now this...

I feel like bursting out...

Please oh please make this easier for me...

Something that I have in common with Victoria Beckham...

2011-03-22T20:15:00.006+08:00

...is definitely not her net worth!

But having three boys to raise...and a baby girl coming along the way!

Alhamdulillah, after having 3D/4D scan last Saturday, it is somewhat confirmed that we are expecting a baby girl as our fourth child...

How do I feel about it?

Let me quote Mrs Beckham "We are still in shock. After having 3 boys, you sort of expecting another one, so finding out there is a little girl in there is suprising..."

Yes, that's exactly how I feel...nervous, shocked, unbelievable!

The most excited one in the family is Abang Ashraff.

He told me that I can now start shop for pink...and light purple. Yup, he associates those two colours with girls. And this baby sister will enjoy playing Barbie..and dress up like a princess. He also told me that he will have a sister who shall be schooling at CBN (C0nv@nt Bkt Nanas), just next door to his school.

Yup, he is very excited.

And am I as excited as him?

Emmm...biasa je. Still in shock.

After all, it's better for me to feel this way rather than feeling over the moon, as nothing can beat the power of Al-Mighty. He has the power to change everything, even at the very last minute.

As for now, we only hope that the baby is born safe, healthy and perfect, just like my past three deliveries.

Please pray for my safe delivery which shall take place this summer...i mean, June, insyaAllah.

"Kalau betullah dapat baby girl, she is such a lucky girl to be bless with three brothers to protect and love her dearly, insyaAllah..."

What an eventful day!

2011-03-09T09:40:00.004+08:00

Oh well...it's 2011 and this is my first entry for the year...and it's already March.

Wow...so many things that I've blogged in my mind but never got the chance to write it down.
Our Perth trip in November 2010, Ashraff's first day in Standard One, my pregnancy so far, Aliff and Aqieff's development...

But today, I really need to pen this down...it's about what happened yesterday.

Hubby is outstation for one week. Since Hubby is not around, I had to drive to work...with the almost 20 years old kereta merah kepunyaan Mak. The car, looking at its age, has lost its alarm function, so we had to manually lock the car, and you have to do while you are inside the car with the driver's door open, come out from the car and close the door. Pretty tricky.

So basically you can guess what had happened.

Yeah, yeah..of all the day, I left the car key inside the car while the doors are all locked. It was raining heavily so with my hands full of things - umbrella, paper bag lagi, I completely forgotten to take the key from the car while I locked. I got to find out..bila lagi, masa nak baliklah. Berpeluh-peluh cari kunci rupanya ada dlm kereta. Gee!

I immediately called Mak to check whether there is any spare key at home, and thank God she said yes. So, I decided to take LRT and taxi back home, took the spare key, asked Mak to drive me back to LRT for me to take the car home. But alhamdulillah, on my way to LRT, a colleague of mine passed by and gave me a lift. The first comment I got when I reached home is "Dah macam Ashraff pulak, tertinggal-tinggal benda...". Hahaha...mana lagi tumpahnya kuah kalau bukan ke nasi...

After dinner, me and Mak (accompanied by Aliff) went to Melawati to re-print Ashraff's passport photo as the school requested for it (apparently the one we gave them during registration got lost in the midst of 1001 documents).

Then Mak was kind enough to drive me to the office despite her not being well.

At almost 10.00 I reached home safely. Problem settled. Now, it's time to check on Ashraff's homework, and to pack the boys things for school tomorrow, settle them for bed so that I could get my rest. The boys are left upstairs to watch TV.

Things are not settled there.

Suddenly I heard Ashraff shrieking from upstairs "Ibu! Tolong! Aqieff terkunci dalam bilik Tokmak!" and Ashraff started crying "Aqieff! Aqieff!"

The first thing that came to my mind is "Gosh! The keys are all in Mak's room! Pleaselah ada satu set lagi kat luar.."

I ran upstairs but Mak reached there first (yelah, agak payah mak buyung nak lari).

Mak pulak menjerit "Ya Allah! Aqieff selak pintu...Pujuk dia utk cuba bukak selak while Mak think of a way..".

By that time, Aqieff has started to cry...so Abang Ashraff nangis kat luar, Aqieff nangis kat dalam...

I tried to console him and tried to ask that 1 1/2 year old lad to release the latch, but it is all in vain. Aqieff's cry was getting louder..and panic strikes me. Apa lagi, I tried to kick the door...imagine mak buyung kicking the door..buruknya! That only lasts for few kicks because I know that's not the way to solve the problem.

By then, I've started crying while trying to console Aqieff. Tetiba dengar bunyi macam Aqieff terjatuh. So, I kneeled down and said to him between my sob "Aqieff jatuh ye? Bangun Qieff..bangun!". My cry is getting louder...and so did his..

Since Hubby is not around there's no man in the house, so we had to call Syafiq (sedara) for help. We waited anxiously for him...and that seems to be the longest time in my life...

I tried to selitkan kertas bawah pintu..and I could feel Aqieff pulled the paper. I feel connected to him...and the only thing that seperates me with Aqieff at that time is the thick wooden door...Only God knows how much I want to hug and kiss him.

After 1/2 hour, Syafiq arrived. He climbed the stairs to reach for Mak's bedroom window. I didn't see him in action as I was at the door trying my best to be with Aqieff. But all I could hear that there is a loud sound, mcm org bertukang..and the next thing you know, the door is opened...and I could see Aqieff terduduk atas lantai.

I grabbed him, hugged and kissed him as much as I can.

He was wet with sweat and tears after 45 mins being locked in the room...and also blood. Yes, blood! It was all over his t-shirt, hand and face. My God! I think he must have fell down and cut his lips as it is swollen. To my suprise, the wall next to the door is also painted with his blood. Horrific sight for me!

All in all, it was a tiring day for me and the rest of the family. Both of his Abangs are very quiet after the event as they are both guilty for entering Tok Mak's room without permission and left Aqieff there alone.

We learn our lessons...the latch which is within the reach of a toodler, has to be removed. Yep, after 7 years of having kids in Mak's house, we don't think the situation will happen...but it does happened...and Aqiefflah mangsanya.

At about 12 am, the boys are finally put to sleep and I got to settle myself in bed and inform Hubby about the whole day event. Yes, it is an eventful day for me!

Hope today and the rest of the week are brighter and smoother...sebab kalau hari2 ni macam semalam boleh sakit jantung, sakit badan, mcm2 sakit dibuatnya.

What's in store for 2011?

2010-11-10T16:44:00.001+08:00

Hello! I'm backkkk....home sweet home....

Oh yes, I should have make an entry about our Perth trip but instead I intend to complete and publish this entry first. I have been drafting this entry for the last two weeks but still haven't got time to complete it.

Shall talk about Perth in the next entry...

2011...still another two months to go...but for me here, I could feel the heat already. There's so many things in store for that year which makes me shiver everytime I think of it. Let me see what we got in store...basically there are 3 major events that will take place...

1. To begin with, Ashraff shall enter Standard One next year. That alone is a major shift for us and to Ashraff especially. To Ashraff, he will have to face bigger school, bigger school kids, new toilet, new teacher, handling of his own money, a more hectic timetable, lots of homework, heavier subjects etc.

And to us having to deal with the above could cause a lot of headaches. We have to be stricter serious parents when it comes to making sure that he finishes his homework on time. This means we have to do a lot more monitoring. With another two smaller kids in tow plus no helper, that can be a great hurdle for us..I hope we can managed..and I hope Ashraff can makes things easier for us..

2. Hubby..is seconded to Pasir Gudang for two years...starting this December. He shall be going to Johor to train two new executives. Together this with this secondment is a promotion. The Board has approved for this secondment and Hubby is only waiting for the official letter of appointment. So basically it hasn't 100% confirmed as yet...but big probability is there.

Me, I have no choice but to support him. He is looking forward for a promotion so this is one good opportunity for him. Plus the money is good - increase in salary and allowances. But deep down, I dont like the idea of long distance relationship. I've heard of too many marital problems arise when husband and wife live far apart. My initial plan is to take a 2-year unpaid leave and follow Hubby to Johor. But then, not having any support system in the form of Mak Ampang or a maid could cost me a lot of trouble. Hubby will be working and I will be taking care of the kids alone for at least 10 hours in a day. That could drive me insane! I can never be a typical housewife...I'm not up to the challenge.

So the next best thing is to stay in KL. Hubby will be going back every weekend for his MBA classes. Well, at least for the 1st 6 months of 2011, I'll see him during weekends. After that, it's all up to him.

In this case, let me correct my last sentence in item (1) above. With 2 small kids in tow, no helper, and no Hubby to help, it's a major hurdle for me...I don't know whether I can handle it. And that brings me to no 3...

3. I'm 8 weeks pregnant. I'm due somewhere in June next year. It was totally unplanned. Well, at least not this fast. Dah rezeki...so I accept it with an open heart. So I'm expecting another 20 kilos extra weight next year...just like my other pregnancies.

This time around, the first trimester wasn't as bad as with Aliff or Aqieff. I have minor nausea...threw up few times but other than that, I'm fine.

I have bring up the notion to get a maid. I really think handling 4 kids aged 7 years old and below is something that I could not manage alone.

I don't know..there's too many things to absorb at one go. Seriously, if you asked me, I'm scared to face the incoming days...I just pray hard that Allah will make our life much easier...

Oh yeah, basically the reason why I intend to post this entry first before the holiday entry is because I don't want people to see me in my holiday photos and wondering "gemuknya Rafiqah..."...

Meeska, Mooska, It's Aliff's Birthday!

2010-11-03T07:56:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was Aliff's 4th Birthday!

Dah besar dah budak breastfeed Ibu...

We had a very small do with only the cake and no other guest except for the usual members of the house...and Mak Pontian. Mak Pontian is here, all ready for the holiday trip.

Since Aqieff's birthday in July, Aliff has been asking for his birthday celebration with Mickey Mouse as its theme. The thing about Aliff's birthday is that there is a 2 months gap between his and the rest of the family members (mine-June, Aqieff-July, Ashraff-August, Ayah-September), so his is almost.forgotten...or should I say, the birthday spirit is gone (that's why the plan is to have one in October to bridge the gap).

Aliff wanted to have his birthday at school just like Abang Ashraff, but I somesort of disagree with his request. For me, the birthday celebration at school should be when he is 6 years old since that is his last year at kindy.

So, with birthday spirit gone and Ibu isn't in the mood to make goodie bags, all we did yesterday was cake-cutting of the 1kg Mickey Mouse's cake at Mak's house. Me and Hubby are still wearing our office attire...and Aliff is wearing his day care attire.

"Mana baju birthday Aliff?," asked Mak Pontian

"Aliff nak pakai baju birthday kat Perth nanti...nak potong cake pun kat Perth," replied Aliff dengan muka selambanya...

I'm like what?! Another cake in Perth ke?!

But kids being kids, despite the small do, Aliff was in jovial good mood yesterday..and so does the other two boys.

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY, DEAR ALIFF!

We all love you dearly.

Countdown to Perth...

2010-10-31T11:45:00.001+08:00

We're almost there...4 days to go...

Alhamdulillah, the kids are back in their pink of health. Hubby is currently on his semester break, 3 weeks of holiday for him. So, we are all basically prepared for the trip...except maybe some warm clothing for Ashraff, which we are going to shop by this evening. Yesterday, we've bought a new stroller for Aqieff. It was a good buy, but then again, it's not into our initial budget. Our old stroller..hmm..time2 nak pergi ni pulak buat hal...

Ashraff has been counting days since last month. He is the most excited one in the family when it comes to this holiday trip.

Me...I'm wishing for a good health. Hasn't been well for the past two weeks...and it's getting worse...

Unlike for the Sydney trip, where the 'holiday folder' was prepared by me, this time around, I just leave most of the planning and organizing part to him. You see, to us who travels with small kids, a 'holiday folder' is important so that the trip is planned well.

But Hubby's holiday folder is excellent! He took the extra mile to come out with a neat and exciting folder. Check it out!

The Cover (for your fierce eyes only...hehe..)

Inside...

The 4 days itinerary

General Info - weather, prayer time, halal butchers and restaurants

Apartment booking confirmation

Car rental booking confirmation

Bus timetable

City Map

General info - on places to visit

Ashraff's reading material - sea animals to be found in Aquaria (or whatever they called it in Perth).

Now that I look at it, where's the air flight confirmation?! Itu yang utmost important!

Ok now, I'm excited to go.

Cuma tulah, the anxiety part is still there, which like most airplane trip, I'm afraid of Aqieff's behaviour in the flight. The last trip we had to Kuching in April, he was crying non-stop during the touch down. Berpeluh jugak masa tu. Now that he can walk, I hope he can tolerate being stuck in a confined space for about 5 hours. Praying hard that everything went well...

About My Mothers

2010-10-26T07:00:00.001+08:00

After looking through at my archives, I've realized one thing...I've hardly make any entry about my mother(s). Yes, I did mention them numerous times but not a single dedicated entry about them. I guess it's about time I post a memoir as a tribute to their dedicated time and patience throughout the years as my mothers.

You see, when me and Hubby got married, we decided not to label our mothers as "Mak I-Mak you" or "My mother or my mother in law" instead we opt on using Mak Ampang and Mak Pontian, so both of them become 'our' mothers.

My Mak Ampang

We are 30 years apart, which makes my biological mother 63 this year. Yeah, she got me when she was 30 not because she got married late but it took her 6 years to conceive.

When I was small, I remember Mak as being a fierce and strict mother. Tak sporting langsung! She is good at disciplining the keras kepala me. She prefers to adopt the canning system -rotan, hanger, belt - semuanya dah pernah rasa. Pernah kena cili mulut, pernah kena toreh tangan dengan kaca sebab pecahkan pasu kesayangan dia, pernah kena duduk luar rumah sebab bila dah Maghrib tak reti-reti nak masuk rumah, pernah dia habiskan semua makanan kat atas meja sebab tak makan dinner on time. Yikes! To think of it, Mak sangat garang, macam harimau!

But she will come to you at night untuk sapukan ubat kat tangan yang dah berdarah kena toreh, atau kaki yang berbirat kena sebat, or she will cook a simple dinner in the middle of the night so I don't go to bed in hunger.

Despite the fierceness (hehe), you hardly hear her voice. She does not nag. She does not scream. She is the quiet type. She hardly laughs. Paling kuat pun setakat ketawa dua harkat. But she smiles a lot. That is something that I learn from her. Smile to anyone that you came across with, regardless of age, race and status.

All in all, she is a total opposite of Abah. Abah pampers me to the core, Abah loves to make jokes, Abah laughs out loud. Yet, I'm pretty close to Mak because her patience balances the darah Bugis in me.

To all of us, Mak has always be known for her patience, and yet firm in making her decision. I think being an eldest of 8 siblings contributes to these quality traits. Her sisters (and a brother) looks up to her for advice..her mother who lost her husband at the age of 42 (when Mak was 24 yo) also looks up to her for almost anything.

So when Abah passed away, she remains her composure..and keeps her strength in going through her days without Abah around. She is even stronger than me coz it hit me pretty bad when Abah passed away! Yet, what saddens me everytime I look at her is you can see a void in her life that cannot be filled. She is becoming thinner by the day...and ages really fast. She does not jog in the morning like she used to with Abah. She hardly does her gardening.

I let the elder two boys sleep at the her house every weekend just to keep her company. At least having them around keeps her busy (sometimes terlebih busy pulak..). And we decided to send Aqieff to her house instead of sending to the nursery, so she has someone to play with during the day. Every night dinner is at her home.

Oh yeah, the boys has also forced her to act beyond her norm. Now you can hear Mak screams.

"Aik, sepanjang jaga Ija tak pernah dengan Mak menjerit. Kali ini menjerit pulak."
"Anak Ija ni nak kena jerit baru dengar. Kalau tak jerit tadi, ada yang jatuh tangga."

Hahaha...so tak salahlah kan kalau Ibu jadi commando kat rumah tu.

Back to Mak, we are trying to make her happy as much as we can though we know it could not replace the tender, loving and care given by Abah. Special days like her birthday and Mothers' Day we will celebrate with her..either by treating her for dinner or buy her something special.

My Mothers' Day Gift - DIY specially for Mak

My Mak Pontian

The first time I met her was during my convocation 9 years ago.

That time me and Hubby are just friends. Kau dan Aku type of friend. But I've known all of my close university friends' parents (including me it's 6 of us). Kalau tak pernah jumpa live pun, at least I've picked up one of their phonecalls when we were in Aussie. These parents seemed to know, if the boys are not at their home, then they must be at the girls' house, so they will call them there. Yeah, at that time handphone is a luxurious item.

Plus, the 6 of us during our 3 years in Aussie usually talked about our personal life including what it was like growing up with their parents.

So when I finally met my future mother, it was like we've known each other for so long. She must have known me from Hubby (harapnya dia tahu cerita-cerita baik jelah..hehe). In fact, our parents have also become good friends. So, if me and Hubby do not marry each other, Mak Ampang and Mak Pontian will always be close friends. Just like the way Mak Ampang does with Nissa, Sheila and Atan's parents (cuma Radzi's je yang tak rapat coz he himself pun has been away from Malaysia for so long).

Mak Pontian is 65 this year. She marries late but got Hubby during the first year of their marriage. The thing that makes me comfortable with Mak Pontian is she is a Johorean, so there's not much different in terms of language, food and culture. Plus, she's an easy-going type. She is not as sensitive as Mak Ampang. If you forgot to do something that she asked for, she'll just say 'takpelah'.

One thing that I respect her most is her efficient time management in managing the household. By 11.00 am lunch is readily cooked, by 6.00 pm dinner is ready. So, you can have your lunch and dinner at exact time everyday. If you say you are going to leave the house at 10 a.m, she'll make sure she's ready by then. Her time management is superb! And that's where Hubby got this quality traits from. And naturally, he expects me to be like his mother and him! Gosh!

I was brought up in a very lenient way when it comes to time management. Kalau Abah cakap nak balik kampung pukul 9 pagi, pukul 11 pagi baru bertolak. Mak pulak, kadang2 settle masak lunch pukul 12.30, kadang2 1.30..or later than that...

No one makes a big fuss out of it...in my Ampang family.

But things are different in my Pontian family. When I marry Hubby, he expects me to keep up with the time. I got to know this from the time we were engaged coz there's this one time, Mak Pontian actually 'tegur' me through Hubby by saying "suruh Ija tu cepat sikit. Ini belum nanti ada anak." MasyaAllah! Pedihnya...but that was the moment that I make a vow to myself to change and be punctual because I know that be on time is very crucial to my Pontian's side of family.

Another thing, Mak Pontian does not sleep much. She will only doze of to sleep at night (usually in front of TV) to wake up 3 or 4 hours later, and starts doing housechores. So, that's another thing that sampai sekarang I could not catch up. How can me yang kuat dan suka tidur adjust to this type of sleeping pattern? I can be very cranky! But I guess Mak Pontian has got used to the fact that menantu dia yang seorang ni (well, the only menantu yang dia ada buat masa ni) pentingkan tidur yang cukup untuk menjadi seorang ibu dan isteri yang efektif..hehe..

Unlike Mak Ampang, Mak Pontian is rather talkative. He can greet almost anyone...either at the kampung itself, or at pasar malam, or in town...everyone in the Pontian seems to know who Makcik Rahmah is.

But one thing that Mak Pontian and Mak Ampang have in common now is that both are single parents. Mak Pontian lost her husband 9 years ago. It was a tough arrangement for Hubby to make when it comes to managing his family. Unlike Mak Ampang who lives about 5 mins away from us, Mak Pontian lives alone, far away from the buzzing main road (about 4 kms inside). Our kampung house was located about 200 metres away from the neighbours, seperated by big trees which makes their houses hardly visible to us. We were contemplating on taking an Indonesian maid to accompany Mak, but upon discussing with her, she refused to have one. "Lagi bahaya, kita bukan boleh percaya orang yang kita tak kenal." We buy her reason. So things remain unsolved, until one day, Pak Lang (Mak's brother) extended an offer to rent his house that is located at the heart of Pontian town.

Now Mak Pontian lives at her rented house which is just in-front of her brother's. That gives us a peace of mind knowing the fact that she is safe and sound. So our kampung house will only be opened for Raya or everytime we balik kampung.

So being single, both my mothers are pretty close to each other. Mak Pontian usually comes to KL to visit us (since we hardly go back to kampung because Hubby has classes on weekends) and since we are working, Mak Ampang and Mak Pontian will enjoy each other company like good old inseperable friends.

All in all, my life is blessed for having two good mothers. A biological mother who is always there for me and a mother-in-law treats me just like her own daughter (just as I treat her as my own mother).

The thing is I can't imagine my life without them around...

Bila dua orang budak sakit...

2010-10-21T16:58:00.002+08:00

...Ibu dia pun rasa macam nak sakit jugak...

Yup, Aqieff has joined Aliff's club. He was diagnosed with HFMD yesterday. His is worse than Abang Aliff. He has red spots (and blisters on his lips) all over his hand, feet, leg, arm and buttock. But the thing that makes him cranky (and minta digendong seperti anak koala) is his mouth ulcer which apparently is all over his mouth.

One thing good about him is he is still make an effort to eat and drink plain water. So I hope with that, he'll have a speedy recovery.

As for me, I'm pretty much sleep deprived. Aqieff is very restless at nights due to pain and hunger. The last two nights could drive me up the wall, having to cradle him to sleep just to see him waking up about 15 - 30 minutes later, crying. The process repeats throughout the night. The only thing that keeps my sanity is the thought that my baby is sick and it's just a temporary situation while some other parents might have to go through a lot more hardship than this (especially to those who have a permanently sick child). Thank God Hubby is such a great helping hand, where we switched task in the middle of the night. But seriously, I do want to bother him that much coz he has exam this weekend, and he needs to study. So, I'll bear with the task as long as I can and keep on praying that Aqieff will recover soon.

So now, I'm on leave just to make up for the lost sleeping time at night (as Mak and Bibik are there to assist). And at the same time to take care of two 'very silent' boys . Yup, they are indeed not talking. Semua main tunjuk2 je sebab mulut sakit nak bercakap. That's the funny part about Aliff. He's so used to talking (and eating) that having this disease actually bothers him to the core. Pity him.

Now, our biggest challenge is to make sure that Ashraff doesn't get the disease. After all Perth trip is only 14 days away...Keep praying...

The Unplanned Plan

2010-10-19T11:10:00.002+08:00

Sounds ironic, aye?

Well, kita hanya mampu merancang tetapi Tuhan yang menentukan...

Tetapi apabila kita tidak merancang, maka jadilah sesuatu yang tidak terancang...

What's with the philosophical mood this morning? Go figure!

Nak sakit, biar sakit sekarang...

2010-10-17T23:34:00.004+08:00

...dan bukan dah nak pergi bercuti nanti baru nak sakit.

Yup, the boys had their fair share of sickness lately. Aqieff had slight fever two weeks ago followed by an episode of runny nose and phlegmatic cough (and of course, restless nights). Still has slight cough since we opt not to take antibiotics this time around and let him recover by himself. So it took quite a while (and lots of restless nights for him..and us), but lately and finally he's back to his good cheeky self.

Ashraff, about two days ago, has started having blocked nose and asthmatic-like cough. Has started on cough medicine coupled with Ventolin.

Aliff...hmmm...lagi best. Just diagnosed with Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease today! Yikes! Now we are trying our level best to separate him from the other two, which is not an easy job! Thank God Mak decides to help us by letting Aliff sleeps with her, so that makes our job slightly easier...

And esok, well rasa macam nak take emergency leave since Aliff is not feeling well. Tapi submission of Board papers is due tomorrow..plus my colleague is on leave..and my manager might also be on leave. So, no choice but to go to work. Harapkan belas kasihan Mak. Plus I think Aliff will be fine. He is still active, cuma a tad quieter than the usual him. Sakit mulut nak cakap, kata dia. One thing good about him is that he has higher tolerance against pain as compared to his older brother yang baru kena paper cut pun dah melaung satu Popular Bookstore boleh dengar!

Yeah, let them be sick now so that by the time we are leaving for Perth, everyone will be in good health, I hope.

So to work tomorrow. Yelah, nak buat macamana...I'm a dedicated staff that is committed to work...yeah, WHAT-E-VA!

Corporate Teambuilding Programme

2010-10-15T16:59:00.005+08:00

Last week, my company sent me to a resort in Janda Baik for a corporate teambuilding programme, compulsory for all staffs. This programme started right after Raya where each session, the participants are required to spend 3 days and 2 night at the resort. There is about 10 sessions altogether, and mine is the 3rd session. Yeah, the sooner the better.

I guess the word 'teambuilding' itself is self-explanatory. Work-in-a-team-to-achieve-one-objective kinda thing. Despite the negative impression over this teambuilding programme (yelah, company dah sakit tapi masih ada hati nak buat expensive course), if you accept it with an open heart, you will enjoy every minute of it. Plus, the 2 nights away from the family is like escapism for me (evil, evil..). Having a jolly good time with other mothers who also shared the same feeling...bestnya!

The 3 days 2 nights was a hectic schedule. Not a time to take a short nap. 80% of the course is done indoor, while the rest are done outdoor. This is unlike what I had in mind when you talk about teambuilding, but for me who the only time I exercise is going up and down the stairs doing housechores, the course outline suits me perfectly.

Well, as expected, in most teambuilding (or similar courses), there is a group performance to be done. Somehow or rather, one week before the course, I have envisioned myself performing dikir barat for group performance. I thought "kalau diaorang suruh each group perform, then one good performance will be dikir barat." So I have recalled most of the dikir barat songs (and bunga) I've performed before. Cuma lagu opening je tak ingat...and lupanya nak tanya Sheila (my mentor in dikir barat) at that time.

Pucuk dicita ulam mendatang. Yup, we were asked to perform dikir barat in two groups. Each group consists of 50 individuals. We were given 1 1/2 hours to prepare, starting from 4 p.m. By 5.30 p.m. everything must be up and ready.

Initially I planned to keep quiet and let the experts i.e. the Kelantanese to do the job. They want to do it the pure Kelantan version, while mine is more of a commercial dikir with a mixture of Kelate and Nogori songs.

But by 4.45 pm, nothing seems to be done. Not even the lyrics. The only thing done is the rambu-ramba for our hands. So with the permission of my group leader, I decided to take charge. We decided to dikir with 'Ewa bulan'. Easier. Everybody knows that song.

And who is the Tukang Karut? Hmmm...siapa lagi kalau bukan moi. Actually we have 3 Tukang Karuts. One for the opening, one for the 'Ewa Bulan' song, and mine was the lenggok2 part for the closing.

It has been years since I perform on stage be it singing, acting or dancing. Seriously, it was one hell of a stage fright and I can feel my voice trembles when I sang. Whateva...janji perform as asked to.

But the best part, after the performance, people came and asked me "Rafiqah orang Kelantan ke?". Excuse me..tak dengar ke bunyi macam orang Siam tadi...hehe..

Well, I'm going to make sure that that is my last time performing in the Bank. And please do not ever show me the video of us performing. Malu banget!

Photos? I didn't bring my camera along, so I am waiting for the courtesy of our Training Dept for some photos taken during the programme. Nanti dah dapat, akan diupload di sini dan Facebook, insyaAllah.

**************************
Updated at 6.45 pm (sementara menunggu Hubby yang tak kunjung tiba)...

Different story altogether, but I have to at least note it somewhere...

Ashraff managed to puasa penuh selama 16 hari last Ramadhan. Not bad, considering the fact that he (and his friend) are the only one not fasting at school the first few days of Ramadhan.

When I got to know that he asked his teacher for his lunch when other students are all busy fasting, i refused to talk to him the whole day. Buat malu je!

And another no-talking-to-Ashraff day, when I received a call from the teacher asking my permission to give Ashraff his lunch coz he was screaming for food. I could hear him screaming at the back. Bengangnya ibu!

But he gradually improved then on...from breaking fast at 12 pm, extended to 2 pm, then 4 pm...then the whole day!

I guess incentive in the form of money does work. And also the thought of Ibu transforming into a tiger if he doesn't do it...hehe..

Trip to Perth

2010-10-12T18:15:00.003+08:00

Another holiday trip to Downunder after 3 years...this time around our destination will be Perth due early November. Our 'support system' will be my Mak Ampang, Mak Pontian, my mak saudara and cousin. We need a good 'support system' to assist us or else either barang yang tercicir...or the boys yang tertinggal...

So let me see...

Passport - checked.
Visa - camne ye, Yang? Semua approve ke?
Car rental - checked.
Accommodation - checked.
Itineraries - checked.
Clothing - so-so, need to shop for the boys clothing especially for Ashraff. Aliff and Aqieff can wear hands-me-down.

Money? Errr...gaji bulan ni sempat lagikan untuk cukupkan tabung?

Something I wish I got it from my boys...

2010-10-04T16:34:00.005+08:00

...is their long and thick eyelashes.

Ashraff has long and slightly curled eyelashes.

Aliff has the longest and thickest among the three. But his is straight...macam tirai.

Aqieff has the shortest among the three, but then again if people see him alone without the brothers, they will make remark such as "panjang bulu mata dia."

Ye, siapa lagi nak puji anak kita kalau bukan mak bapak dia sendiri. But yeah, the boys have long eyelashes. It's like a combination of mine and Hubby's. I just wish I have them so I don't have to invest in a volumizer mascara..

And also I wish if I have a girl, her eyelashes will be as long and thick (and perhaps curled) like her brothers...

Raya 2010

2010-10-02T10:14:00.023+08:00

2010..our Raya are back to the same normal routine where we had our 1st Raya in Pontian and the next day went to JB to meet Mak Ampang.

Last year, as Abah had just passed away and Mak was still in her edah (idah?), we had our first Raya in KL, which wasn't that fun due to the fact that all family members are in Johore..and Abah wasn't around.

This year, Mak drove all the way back to JB with her brand new car. Alhamdulillah, she's still able to drive and independent enough to live her life without Abah around. Nevertheless, eventhough Abah has left us for more than a year, she still misses Abah dearly (me too!). You can tell it from her lonely eyes...

Ok back to Raya story. This year, we choose a champagne-brown as our theme colour. Initially, I planned to have a black and white theme this Raya, where all the men in the family will wear black Baju Melayu..and I'm the only one with a hint of white (biasalah yang unik adalah Ibu seorang saja..and outnumbered!). But since champagne will be my cousin's wedding theme in December, so we decided to opt for that colour . Tak payah buat baju Melayu dua kali.

My Pontian Family - 1st Raya

My Ampang Family - 2nd Raya

During this Raya, Aliff discovers his interest in playing blocks. You see, we seldom buy toys for the boys since their collection is already huge, plus we found that they easily got bored with new toys. They prefer TV to toys. Now their toys are basically laying idle in the box, untouchable.

But when we visited a relative house during Raya this year, Aliff was indulged in playing blocks. He can sit still at one spot constructing buildings, guns, robot etc with blocks. On the way back, we decided to get one for him...well, at least with the blocks, he doesn't bother his elder or younger brother who got irritated with him easily. Aman sikit dunia...

"Tengok, machine gun, Ibu!"

Then again, it is a tiring Raya for us due to the fact that we are maidless and Aqieff has a strong stranger anxiety...berkepit macam koala. We never encounter this kind of situation with Ashraff and Aliff before, maybe because we have a maid when they were Aqieff's age or they are more extrovert as compared to Aqieff.

Budak takut orang ada tanda kat dahi...jatuh on the 1st day of Raya.

Despite that, like any other year, we make it a point to visit all uncles and aunties from both sides of the family who lives in various parts of Johor - Pontian, JB, Kulai, Pasir Gudang, Muar and Kluang (and Melaka). After all it's only once a year we managed to do it.

And yes, my cousin Tina gave birth to a baby girl on the 2nd day of Raya. We visited them at my aunt's house in JB. Welcome aboard, Airra binti Raihan!

Comelnya Airra! Bilalah aunty nak dapat macam Airra ni...

Well, this weekend will be the last Raya weekend. Yeah, like any other weekends we have few Raya open house invitation that we need to attend to. And knowing Hubby, he'll try to attend to as many invitation as possible in between his classes and heavy road traffic. So yeah, all geared up for makan free time. Chiow!

Do not leave him alone!

2010-09-19T16:20:00.001+08:00

When you leave Aliff alone, a disaster bound to happen any minute...trust me...it's like a ticking bomb, once exploded will cause a major shock and blow to the family.

And that's what happened two weeks before Raya...29th of August to be exact...His newly Raya haircut has been further trimmed...by HIM!

He was sitting all alone in Bibik's room while Ibu took care of Aqieff who has crave on perfecting his walking skill. Aliff came out occassionally with a comb in his hand and a cheeky smile on his face.

"Rambut raya, Ibu!"

"Ha'ah..cantik.." replied Ibu, not noticing any different with his mane...until it's too late...

Bibik's drawer was full of his self-cut hair..

Apa lagi darah bugis Ibu pun mula mengelegak. Ibu was so berserk and refused to see his face.

Ayah who just came back from Pasar Ramadhan with Ashraff, was also angry to see his new hair.

"Buang duit je potong rambut Aliff tadi. Botakkan je rambut ni!"

By then this lil lad was crying coz everybody in the house could not hide their anger with him...

Aliff, Aliff...seriously our lives are more meaningful and full of colours having you on board...

So here it is, introducing our Budak Tobek Aliff...

We brought him to the barber to repair his hair one week after Raya...Thank God it wasn't that bad during Raya except most people who knew Aliff would ask "kenapa pendek sangat rambut Aliff ni?"

Me...working today?

2010-08-30T13:10:00.002+08:00

It was smooth sailing to work today..good choice to drive...

And the office..gosh it's almost empty!

To top it all off, PC pulak buat hal. Bukak-bukak je blue screen and the IT people will take about one or two days to resolve the problem.

So where do I blog from then?

My friend's PC! He was on leave today...and due to boredom, I called him up to ask for his username and password so I could have access to the internet.

And now blogging...and goggling happily.

Yes, I do have few work to do, but the mood just isn't there...not when the office is so quite and you are using someone else's computer...alasan..alasan...

Plus, now that my blogging mode is on, I better post up some entries no matter how merapu it sounds..

The mood to blog came from spending my lunch hour during this Ramadhan month reading through my archives. I noticed that I heavily blog in 2005, 2006and 2007 with more than 30 entries per year. When I read through, it was nice to take a stroll down the memory lane and to reconnect with my past rants and rambles about life.

Then I found that I hardly blog in 2008, 2009 and this year. Reason being, increase family commitments, expansion of C.M.O.G, and the rush of Facebook era, which leaves blogspot unattended to. There's so many interesting (and not interesting) events in my life that I do not pen down.

And I seems to have lost touch with my blogger friends whom I have became a good friend of mine. Tau2 ada yang dah masuk anak tiga dah...emmm...

So now, I make an effort to start blogging (although dah berkarat) and pay a visit to my friends' blogs. This pretty much explains the three consecutive entries made within 4 days...it's a like a surge of addiction to blog:)

Next...blogspot makeover! Googling for free blogger template...found a good link from Eiseai's blog...

Where is this ship heading to? - Part 2

2010-08-29T00:52:00.007+08:00

Referring to Part 1, I mentioned that my goal for now is to obtain my long service award.

Why is that so?

You see, beginning of this year, I have this intention to retire early and become a stay-at-home mum. Well, this intention is always at the back of my mind since I became a mother 6 years ago. In fact, when I read through my archives, I saw this interesting tagged that I did way back in 2005 and somehow have this envision of me being working at home mother at the age of 38.

When I was a lot younger, the thought of becoming someone who stays at home and look after her kids 24/7 never came across my mind at all. Instead, I see myself as someone successful in climbing the corporate ladder. Someone at the age of 40 has become a head of department, leading about 20 or so subordinates. Angan-angan mat jenin..

But only one thing uncertain at that time. I don't know what I want to be. Doctor is definitely out of the story...what more in becoming a celebrity...haha..

You see, when I completed my SRP (Form 3), accounting is not something that I would love to pursue. My interest was in Science..Math and Science to be exact. I wanted to take Pure Science when I was in Form 4 (despite me hating Biology subject). But Abah insisted I took Accounting subject. So when I was offered a place in MRSM I took Applied Science - dropped Biology and take Accounting instead.

At that point of time, I did not have the slightest idea of what Accounting is (I'm not in commerce stream when I was in Form 3), so the notion of taking Accounting in Form 4 cringed me. Kena-kena pulak cikgu yang ajar tu assume all of us have basic in accounting. Come on man, I don't even know the difference between assets and liabilities..what more double entry...

I flung the first quiz we had. It was my first failure, so it hit me really bad. I cried hard, almost gave up on the subject. I called Abah all the way from Terengganu, blaming him for forcing me to take the subject. But I remembered Abah being so calm and convinced me that I am bright enough to master the subject. Then the good side of me took place..I put extra effort to catch up with the rest of the students. Pergi menuntut dengan kawan-kawan yang pandai, forced the teacher to have a one-to-one personal coaching session with me. It's not long before I managed to grasp the subject really well.

Despite the better score in Accounting, my love was still in Physics and Chemistry (and Additional Maths). With my trial result, I was offered to pursue my study in Canada, doing engineering course. I was happy for the news, but Abah was not. He wanted me to continue in Accounting..in Universiti Malaya to be exact. What??!!

We had a great argument that night. I said I want to pursue study outside Malaysia.

"How about Singapore?" I remember Abah saying.
"Singapore? Taknaklah...dah selalu pergi..and what with you and UM?"
"Abah fikir UM adalah yang terbaik. I can buy you a car if you study in UM."
"I don't want a car. I want to go to Canada. Not everyone got this kind of opportunity." "Canada is too far."

I'm in the verge of crying at that time. I guess Abah saw the huge disappointment of my face, so he then compromised...

"Ok, kalau nak study overseas jugak, the furthest you can go is Australia..and buat Accounting ye, nak. Abah kalau boleh nak Ija jadi Accountant."

So Accounting it is...in Australia...Now that I think of it, kalau pergi Canada, mesti tak jumpa Hubby..hehehe...

And then worked in a Bank...a development Bank..because Abah refused to let me work in a commercial Bank. It's a lot more pressure, he said, especially when you are at a revenue center.

So like I said, been there done that for the past 10 years...

Now back to the original topic, with the current turbulence and the not-so-nice working environment, I want to pursue my new dream. The goal to become a work-at-home mom, just in time to be there for Ashraff when he enters the mainstream school. Though one thing is always at the back of my mind - if Abah is still around, he would definitely go against me in this. And just like before, I would buy his reasons and follow what he said.

But looking at the ship I'm boarding now, it is going to sink anytime soon if the captain is still uncertain of its direction. So before it does, it's better if I jump to a new ship fast. But I need to grab some token from the current ship first i.e. my long service award first which I hope to obtain before the ship sinks...

In the meantime, an employment agency called me up to set me for an interview. This has drived me to update my CV which hasn't been updated for the longest time. Now that everything is updated, the thought came into my mind...hey, why don't I test the market and see what's I'm worth now?

Where is this ship heading to? - Part 1

2010-08-27T11:00:00.010+08:00

I know it's okay for an organization to undergo restructuring every two or three years to be in tandem with the change in economy, technology and government's policy.

But what with restructuring every two weeks?

Isn't that unhealthy?

You see, when you keeps on changing rapidly, somehow or rather you seems to have lost your direction, target and goal...and there's an exorbitant price that comes with it, which is in the form of low staff motivation that leads to unproductiveness!

And that's what an executive cabuk like me hates the most!

I hate living in a situation with no goal or motive. I'm the type that if I choose to go to a place, there must be something that I intend to see. I guess that's why I choose to marry Hubby in the first place, as for me he has a vision in life..a proper planning..a target. (Or do I marry him because he is a chatty type?)

So when this situation happens, I'm doomed. I'm like in the dark...buat kerja tapi tak tahu untuk apa...dan ke mana...

And after having to go through numerous numbers of restructuring process and throwing money outside the window, the latest rumours that I heard was we are going to be taken over by another institutions in October!

Oh come on! What happened to my long service award that I've been waiting for since the beginning of this year?

And to be eaten again? Gosh, the last 5 years memory is still fresh in my mind, and now I have to go through this again? Is this like an every 5 years event for me?

But when I ponder deep and long inside, a part of me wants this merger to happen fast. I can't stand having to work with no goal, no KPIs, no direction. With a so called new organisation, then there will be a breath of fresh air...i hope..

You see, when I first started working 10 years ago, I set myself a target My target was to be promoted every 3 to 4 years (considering I'm a fresh grad with no experience at that time). And because of that, I was self-driven. Pushed myself hard to achieve my level best. And I made it at the end of 2003! Took CCP course in 2004 to enhance my value, target to pass all papers at one go but terberanak pulak masa last paper tu..

Planned to sit for the final paper in the next sitting but at that time the Bank went into deep shit - change of management, restructuring over and over again, semuanya serba tak kena, so my motivation level dies of naturally. Eventually the Bank was taken over by a bigger capital Bank.

And after that, I worked like a robot, with no heart. Kerja sebab dibayar gaji.

I wanted to leave the Bank but the conservative Abah said "Sabar...things happen for a reason."

So here I am after 10 years, masih di takuk lama seperti 7 tahun dulu...

Now my goal is only one...I need my long service award!

...to be continued...

Look who's walking now!

2010-08-17T06:41:00.005+08:00

Finally..the day we've been waiting for has arrived!

On 1st day of Ramadhan (11th August 2010), my baby walks! Wobble, Wiggle, Wobble, Wiggle all the way..The whole family was excited to see him walking...

Lotsa Birthdays!

2010-08-05T13:27:00.041+08:00

In June

It's mine! My 33rd Birthday..old already, aye? There's no such thing as age is just a number. Dah tua, tua jugak..but I want it do it gracefully:)

For me being a wife and mom, having to hear the wish from my family is the best thing to happen on my birthday, but Hubby decided to give it an extra ummphh. He asked me out on a dinner to Favola, La Meridien Hotel. It was an Italian restaurant, headed by a close friend of Hubby's, Chef Ayie. So basically he got a special price from him..But anyway, without the special price, I find the price of food there is reasonable and affordable.

Here are some of the foods that we ate:-

Wow! To me that's more than enough for my birthday.

But that's not enough to him. Hubby handed me a birthday card. As I opened it I was mesmerized as the first thing I saw is Ashraff's sweet handwriting.

And I as I looked further down, I can see a birthday voucher for a day of pampering at my favourite spa.

Gosh! I almost cried. Thank you so much the most romantic guy I've ever known..for making my day on my birthday!

A very happy birthday girl..

Anyway, I've used the voucher last Sunday. What a bliss!

In July

It's Aqieff's 1st birthday! As per my previous entry, his birthday falls on weekday. But we decided to celebrate it that weekend at Bukit Tinggi, Pahang since we are heading East to attend my friend's wedding in Bentong.

Bukit Tinggi is a place where I wanted to go for the longest time but hadn't got the chance to do so. I thought of making it our honeymoon destination 7 years ago (7 tahun dah!) but Hubby opposed to that. Then, on our anniversary this year, I asked him again, still the same answer. But hajat tercapai when I proposed to him to make it a venue to celebrate Aqieff's birthday. So that weekend, we headed of to Bentong first.

Aik! Aqieff ke yang drive?

The bride, Ila looks extraordinary beautiful clad in a combination of pink and green wedding dress. Her partner pun apa kurangnya. Bagai pinang dibelah dua:)

Pengantin Baru dan Pengantin Lama

Then on the way back, we dropped by at Bukit Tinggi. First a visit to the rabbit farm. Aliff was crying when we reached there. It turns out that his foot was sore. Laa..kasut dah sempit rupanya..kena beli kasut barulah nampak gayanya...

We changed him to his normal Crocs, and he was back to his normal cheeky self.

The kids had a marvelous time feeding the rabbit.

We then visited Colmar Tropicale, which is a must if you visit Bukit Tinggi. Lovely place. I found that they maintained the place quite well.

We stopped at a restaurant to have a short tea time and decided to cut the cake there.

The birthday boy was in a jovial mood all the time, alhamdulillah.

"Aqieff, I'm sorry that we do not have a bigger 1st birthday celebration for you unlike your brother's. After having three kids, Ibu Ayah thought it's just not worth it to have a big do for a one year old. We'll have yours when you are bigger. How about next year?"

In August

It's Ashraff's 6th birthday! Also my 6th anniversary as Ibu.

This time around the celebration is done at Ashraff's school, as insisted by the birthday boy himself. He wants a Spongebob Squarepants theme for his birthday celebration.

Ibu took about one week to prepare for his goodie bags, selit-selit dengan buat orang lain punya order.

Ashraff was happy despite the small and brief do. He was surrounded by his friends, his brothers and teachers. Ibu, Tok Mak and Bibik pun ada.

Despite the happiness, Ashraff is not feeling well. You can tell it from his eyes. He was down with measles that evening. Poor boy..sakit ni dah sebati dengan diri dia..

So birthday in June, July and August are over and done with...

Coming up next..

In September

It's Ayah's birthday..during 1st week of Raya..

In November

It's Aliff's. He has been waiting too long for his birthday. When we bought a cake for Aqieff, he will be asking Aliff punya mana? And same goes when we did for Ashraff's. He didn't cry asking for his to be done immediately as he accepted the fact that his is in November (eventhough he doesn't now how long that's gonna take).

Cuma everytime there's birthday in the house, he will say
"Aliff nanti nak birthday Mickey Mouse tau Ibu."
Ok Aliff...I got you...

Having to think of it, the only month missing is October..so kalau nak try for no 4, kena aim for October delivery..hehehe..

This is Ashraff, Aliff and Aqieff's Life...

2010-07-17T18:57:00.045+08:00

ASHRAFF's LIFE

Ashraff's life revolves around school, cartoon network, PSP...and hospital.
Every 6 months since the middle of last year, he has to check-in at the hospital for various reasons - June last year due to dengue, December, appendix..and on 5th July 2010, ear problem. It was a dreadful event for all of us, to see him having to go through a painful recovery.

About a month prior to the event, we noticed that his hearing ability was deteriorating as he couldn't hear his father on the other end of the phone (while it is of no problem to Aliff). We thought it was just a case of stubborn wax that caused his ears to block. But since the ear drop doesn't work, he was referred to ear specialist. That is when we discovered it might not be just normal wax problem, as he feels pain in the ear (and not to mention itchiness).

Ashraff was admitted on 5th July for the doctor to monitor him the whole day. We couldn't get a single room (gee, i hate that). To those who are used to the hospital environment, you might know how boring it is to be in one. And it makes matter worse when we couldn't watch the TV comfortably due to the position of the bed and the TV itself (kena tgk dari celah2 tirai). I was pissed off but thank God Ashraff was ok with it.

Ashraff was instructed to fast starting 12 am so I forced him to stay awake to take his 'sahur' before he sleeps that night. KFC for sahur..he ate 3 pcs of chicken at 11.30pm!

The next day he was brought to operation theater at 12 pm! This means he has to fast for more than 12 hours and that drives the 6 years old up the wall! It turns out that the doctor had to do 2 operations before Ashraff. Adoi mak...The wait was unbearable for both of us! (Just in case you are wondering, Hubby kerja macam biasa..orang ada 15 hari annual leave je. But he did came during lunch hour to see Ashraff).

Since this is the 2nd time he had to go through operation, Ashraff was phobia. His eyes were filled with tears all along the way to the OT till he was put to sleep. "Takut", "Taknak" was all I heard from him. Ibu had to be strong to motivate him but deep down inside only God knows.

Can you see my eyes filled with tears?

This time around, unlike during the appendix operation, I was the one who accompanied Ashraff into the OT. It was my first time entering such spooky place and I can feel cold shivers running down my spine. The light, the equipment..yikes! Please oh please don't let me enter this room again...

Ashraff was put under the influence of anesthetic at about 1 pm. Doctor needs to probe his ears, take all the wax out and see what's the problem deep down inside. It was a short procedure so about 30 minutes he was out, crying really loud! And what panics me was that I can see blood coming out from his ears, nose and mouth! Scary! I wanted to cry and scream really bad but I just had to remain calm and strong for Ashraff's sake.

Finally, he managed to doze off after an episode of crying and screaming.

Waking up complaining about his sore throat "Tak selesa tekak Ashraff ni."

According to the doctor, his ears are filled with water..and he has some sort of inflammation at his throat so doctor had to take it out (nope, not tonsil). So the after effect was quite bad. Ashraff was complaining about his sore throat and also the dizziness due to the anesthetic. He was crying all the way...until the nurse gave him pain killer in the evening.

Later that night, he can smile..and eat normally. He ate soft and cold food..porridge and ice-cream. That's the thing about Ashraff. He recovers easily. Just like when he had appendix removed. Undergo operation at 12 am, and by noon he can walk already. Alhamdulillah. Even the doctor was surprised to see him eating normally the next day. The doctor told me that the boy who had the same operation before Ashraff (also 6 yo) is still energy-less and lying in bed.

So Ashraff was happily discharged from the hospital. Oh yeah, we got our single room as soon as Ashraff got out from the OT. All in all, we are glad everything went well...and I really hope Ashraff wouldn't have to check-in at the hospital in December. He was so used to the procedures that he even questioned the reason why he was put on drip..."Ashraff bukannya sakit perut pun...Ashraff makan ok je...". I have no idea how to answer that...

After having to go through the traumatic experience, suddenly I remember what the nurse told me when Ashraff got out from the OT "Kenapa tak sunatkan sekali dah alang-alang masuk OT?" Gosh! Why didn't I think of that? Oh no! Not again!

ALIFF's LIFE

In life, we meet people to set memories..and depart to remember them. That's what happened in the life of my 4 year old boy. On 9th July 2010, it was Aliff's last day at Taska Ummi Sarah. We decided to send Aliff to Ashraff''s school so that he got used to the surrounding before Ashraff leaves the school for Primary One next year. At least for the first six months in his kindy life he got a big brother to accompany him.

It was a big move for Aliff (and me) as we have to say goodbye to Ummi, who has been taking good care of Aliff for the last two years. Personally I am blessed to meet Ummi when our maid decided not to come back to work for us. She did a great job. Aliff is healthy. Setiap kali badan Aliff susut lepas baik demam, hantar je rumah Ummi, Aliff terus gebu semula.

Not only that, Aliff also has to bid farewell to almost 20 of his friends including his two best friends, Rayyan and Faris. I gave Ummi kain ela as a token of appreciation, and she gave me tudung in return. We both were in tears. I do pasang niat to send Aqieff to Ummi if and should my mom's maid decides to go back to her hometown for good.

Then on 12th July 2010, Aliff entered school for the first time. It was a breeze for him as Ashraff is around. I don't even take any leave. I just send him at the gate and of he went inside, following his brother...and so far, he is excited to go to school everyday, alhamdulillah.

Despite that, he still misses Ummi. He didn't say it explicitly but this one time, he asked Mak (who fetch him from school) to drive pass rumah Ummi so he could wave goodbye. "Bye-bye kat rumah je pun takpe," Aliff told Mak. Alahai kesian..

As for school, I hope by next year Aliff can be independent enough to stay on his own. For now, he depends a lot on Ashraff.

AQIEFF's LIFE

On 8th July 2010, my baby has turned one. Time really flies!

On that day, since both of us do not take leave, so he spent the day just like his any other ordinary weekdays:-

Woke up at about 7am.

An everyday journey to rumah Ummi to send Abang Aliff (masa ni, Aliff belum pergi sekolah lagi), then to rumah Tok Mak together with Abang Ashraff who is still on MC (after 3 days in hospital).

A greeting from Bibik...and a birthday wish..

Ibu Ayah dah balik ofis! As usual, upstairs playing with Abang Ashraff and Abang Aliff.

At the age of one, Aqieff is very much a baby to us. He still could not walk..unlike his two brothers who walk at 11 months. He is still cradle to sleep with a rocker (an infant-to-toddler really helps). And if he is matured enough, he is still a baby to us, no matter what:)

Happy 1st Birthday, Aqieff! Ibu, Ayah, Abang Ashraff and Abang Aliff love you so much!

We had a simple birthday celebration at Bukit Tinggi, Pahang that weekend.

About Aqieff

2010-04-18T10:30:00.002+08:00

Seldom did I blog about Aqieff (as a matter of fact, I seldom blog nowadays)...

I guess I have to do it or else I have this maternal guilt...hehe..

Anyway, here are some facts about Aqieff:-

1. He is currently 9 months old.

2. He has two lower teeth and two upper teeth.

3. He has the fastest development as compared to the two brothers..initially. He started crawling at the age of 5 months old. And now, he has about the same pace as his brothers. He can sit unsupported, walk while holding onto furniture, understands a simple 'No', can climb the stairs. He is now learning how to stand unsupported..and if all goes well, I hope he can walk before he turns one just like Ashraff and Aliff, who have perfected that skill on their first birthdays.

4. He is also the easiest baby among the three. He is active but quiet..not much of a crying or whining like the other two.

5. But not when it comes to putting him to sleep. Sangat susah! We are still using the rocker (bouncer net) to lull him..and he is also on pacifier..and he also needs his bantal to cover his face...ok senang cerita, perangai ni sama macam Abang Ashraffnye...

6. Contrast to Aliff, Aqieff smiles a lot...and his smile is contagious even to a serious stranger who doesn't smile to babies. He will look at the person's face and smile..smile as long as he wants until that person notices and smiles back at him.

7. But don't ever try to touch him, stranger! Coz he will start crying. Among the three, Aqieff has the strongest stranger anxiety.

8. Due to his easy-to-smile character, we have tonnes photos of him smiling..and as he grows older, he seems to know what camera is all about, so the moment we focus the camera at him, he will start smiling..and voila! a nice photo of him. Abang Aliff baru sekarang faham what 'smile' is..and baru lately pandai smile in front of the camera. There are some things that the brothers learn from this little lad.

9. Just like Abang Ashraff when he was a baby, Aqieff suka main dengan toys yang ada tayar..coz he loves to roll it with his tiny fingers.

10. In general, Aqieff is more like Abang Ashraff..even their faces are similar...

11. Except for, he loves to eat..yang ini sama dengan Abang Aliff. Thank God! It's easier to get children who loves to eat than a fussy eater.

12. He is also the fairest among the three. So my 'nescafe ais 'baby is not as dark as nescafe ais..pheww..

12. Aqieff is a lucky baby coz his brothers love him dearly. He always got smooches from them..and they love to entertain him. Aliff never feels this love when he was baby. Dia asyik kena pukul and tolak by Ashraff.

All in all, I'm at ease when taking care of Aqieff..it was so easy that I can't believe he is already 9 months old. Trust me, soon it will be time when people asked me "Bila nak try for a girl..?"

About Art...

2010-03-15T06:26:00.006+08:00

The boys love to scribble (I mean, all kids love to do that). But they really enjoy it. That seems to be part of their favourite pastime. Drawing and colouring (and for Ashraff, reading). This is the longest time that they can stay put at one spot. Even watching their favourite TV shows could not beat that.

Of course, to avoid squabbling, they have their own sets of stationery - color pencils, pencils, rulers, erasers...and the drawing materials (be it paper or colouring book). Of course, for us, not hearing and looking at them quarreling, it's what I'd call as "Kodak moment", so I enjoy every minute of it as well.

Ashraff has improved a lot in drawing and colouring. He can draw robots, his favourite TV characters like Spongebob and animals (his duck looks way better than mine). I guess he inherited this skill from both my parents (gee..why don't I). Due to this reason, we believed that it's best for us to help him enhance his skills, thus we send him to art class every Saturday.
His first class was last week where he spent 2 hours coloring. We send him to a franchised art class, GlobalArt. He loves it and look forward to his next class. I'm glad and hope that motivation remains.

He can also read on his own now, both English and Malay fluently...cuma masih need improvement on the punctuations - when to pause, when to stop, when to ask, when to shout. Dia main langgar je..

Aliff, of course, a few steps behind his brother. But from the progress, I know he can improve in that area as well. One thing for sure, he can color within the object's lines. Every time his brother is doing his homework, Aliff will grab one of his coloring book and color all the way. So takdelah nak kacau Abang dia yang sekarang sangat disiplin buat homework.

We intend on sending him to Ashraff's school this June. Since he's a year-end baby, so he is a bit young for his age. I have the attention of sending him next year, but after second thought, it will be best sending him this June so he has about 6 months to familiarise with the new environment with the help of his brother.

Guess there's some updates on the boys...after so long...

My formal education in photoshop

2010-03-13T14:15:00.002+08:00

Wow! It's been a very long time since I've last updated my blog. There's too many things to do...update CMOG's blog, facebook, fulfilling order for CMOG...apart from the normal chores.

Well anyway, here I am taking a break from a short training in using adobe photoshop. Finally, after years of exploring photoshop through trial and error and learning the basics from the internet, I've managed to find a class that's suitable for me...A full 2-days course of Basic Photoshop. Thanks to my hubby who told me about this class and persuaded me to attend it.

I hope that this is fulfilling and I may use it to practice, especially in improving the designs I've made for CMOG.

For those who are interested, I've attended a class organized by sifoo.com. Do check it out!

What's with Ashraff?

2009-12-28T09:56:00.004+08:00

2009..a challenging year for Ashraff indeed..

Twice he was hospitalised. One, in June..due to dengue fever. He was hospitalised for seven nights..seven miserable nights for both Ashraff and us.

And on 15 December 2009 (Tuesday), sharp at 12.00 am midnight, Ashraff had to undergo an operation to take out his appendix, that by then has ruptured. Alhamdulillah, we (Hubby to be exact) took him to the specialist immediately or else he might not be around to see the world anymore..nauzubillah.

It all started on Monday morning where he complained that he has stomach ache. I was on leave that day. But because Ashraff usually has stomach ache, I did not take him seriously, plus I thought he uses that strategy to persuade me not to send him to school (his daycare was opened during school holidays). Boy, was I guilty when I got to know he had an appendix problem!

I took him at about 6 pm that day and the teacher told me that Ashraff is not feeling well and kept on complaining about his tummy. By then, I was worried. Well well, nak dijadikan cerita, Aliff and Aqieff pun demam on the same day. So as Hubby reached home at about 6.30 pm, I immediately told him about Ashraff problem..and he rushed Ashraff to the clinic, get a referral letter and sent him to Ampang Puteri. At 12 am sharp, Ashraff was brought to the operation theatre to had his appendix removed. I was not there to witness the event as I was at home to take care of the other two sick boys. But Hubby told me all about it. How he as a man, felt like crying holding Ashraff hand and giving him motivational words.

But Ashraff was a strong boy. That morning he has started to walk to the toilet. He said he can do it and he will walk slowly. And by the next day, he can walk around the paeditric ward. He was hospitalised for about 3 nights. And one week after that he can jump and run like before.

Well, I still fell guilty over what had happened.not only of my silly negligence..but about what I fed my 5 year old until he suffered from the pain. Maybe Ashraff loves to eat spicy foods. Sambal and asam pedas are his favourite dishes. But because he is such a picky eater, so whatever he wants to eat, we just gave him. Now, we had to control what he and Aliff are taking (and soon Aqieff). It might be one of the reasons, only God knows...

Paddle and paddle

2009-09-19T05:39:00.007+08:00

Unlike Aliff, Ashraff is kinda slow when it comes to motor skills. I've been trying to show him how to paddle a bicycle before but it never works. I lost my patience half of the way. Come on, shouldn't paddling comes of naturally? Guess not with Ashraff.

But alhamdulillah, at the age of 5, finally he grasps the skills of paddling, thanks to Ayah who has all the patience in the world to guide him. Yippee!

He was so busy with looking at his feet while paddling, he has no clue on how to manouver the handles, so he carries the bike everytime he wants to make a u-turn..

Anyway, talking about the boys, Ashraff is finally wean from bottle. Now he takes his milk from the cup. Aliff is toilet-trained (diaperless during the day), thanks to his babysitter. Two kids - none of them trained by me!

Aqieff is somehow or rather using pacifier to make him sleep, especially during the day. It all started when he suffers from colic right after my confinement, so the only thing that can ease him down is the pacifier. Plus, it makes our job easier to train him to use the car seat. After all, Ashraff is using pacifier and it's pretty easy to wean him from that thing, so we thot no sweat in trying to use it with Aqieff. We tried with Aliff too but he refused to suck on the dummy.

Anyway, my fellow blogger readers, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! And mintak maaf banyak2. And this raya, after 7 years, we are celebrating our first raya in KL. Nak menziarah Abah's kubur di pagi raya...I'm expecting Mak to outburst with sadness as 20th September will be her first raya and first birthday without Abah. Poor Mak...

1 month old Aqieff

2009-08-10T07:52:00.006+08:00

Aqieff is one month old on 8th August. He weights 4.3 kilos, an increase about 1.2 kilos from the day he was born.

Yesterday we had a small makan-makan at our house just to celebrate Ashraff's 5th birthday. Hubby was the master of the kitchen where he cooked meehoon goreng. I'm just his helper, making sandwich and chicken roll crackers as per instructed by him. All recipes are from him.

I'm glad Mak decided to come to our house (it's her first visit after the house is fully furnished. Arwah Abah couldn't make it.). Since she's still in her tempoh idah (edah?), it was a short visit, makan2 and terus balik.

We bought a cup for Ashraff in conjuction with his 5th birthday to make sure that he weans from bottle. No more bottle for a 5-yr old boy! He took the fact well this time around, unlike our first effort about 3 years ago..

Now, satu job settle. Next will be to toilet train Aliff..

I will always love you...

2009-08-08T13:44:00.002+08:00

I will always remember this date...26th JULY 2009.

This is the date when Abah passed away...peacefully...at 8am in his own bed.

Now, I will never hear him calling my name.
Will never see him watching CNN or Discovery Channel...or reading newspaper.
Will never hear his word of advice.
Will never see him playing with his grandsons.
Will never see him sending us to work at the frontgate...together with Mak.
Will never see him jog in the morning..or gardening in the evening...or going to the surau.
I will never hear his laughter..or jokes...or merely his voice.

All that is left is his photos...his handwriting...the clothes that he wears...and all the good memories of Abah...

I miss him...dearly...

Abah, I will always love you...forever and ever...
I wish I could tell you this before you leave...

Introducing..our latest addition...

2009-07-24T22:47:00.011+08:00

For the first time in my life, I have internet connection at home! Yippee!! Now I'm happily blogging at the comfort of my home.

Alhamdulillah, I've safely delivered a new baby boy on 8th July 2009 (exactly 2 weeks earlier than my EDD). The delivery went out smoothly and less traumatic as this time around, I opt to use epidural. Believe me, after going through twice the labour pain plus the stitches downunder(with very minimal pain killer), I got a bit traumatise to go through it all again. Thus, that is when I decided the epidural thingy. Wow! No wonder people opt for that. It's a pain-less labour!!
Anyway, on 7th July 2009 which was the day of my check-up, I had to be admitted to the hospital due to high BP. The reading was 140/90. I was monitored throughout the night but it turned out my BP was still at the border line (the lowest was 120/85), so my gynae decided to induce me. Yeah, it's Ashraff all over again.

So at about 5 am, they induced me, but I don't feel any pain at all (just slight discomfort). Gynae was suprised to see me sleeping after the induction took place as she came and checked my dilation at about 10 am. I was dilated 3 cm only. Ain't suprise me, coz I don't feel any contraction going on at all for the past 5 hours after induction. So they decided to put me on drip to fasten the labour. To the labour room everybody!

At about 10.30, the anaesthetist gave me an epidural jap. I was freaking scared of the needle going through my spine. But it turns out to be not too bad. Labour pain is million times more painful than that. At 11.00, they put me on drip. I could feel my belly harden every now and then so I presumed that was when the contraction took place. Other than that, just like I mentioned before, it was painless and I slept all the way till I felt the urge to push, which initially I thought the epidural effect has worn off. But it turns out I'm fully dilated and ready for the active labour i.e the pushing game..."Cepatnya!," I thought.

Then at exactly 1.10 pm, our new bundle of joy was delivered...

Name : AQIEFF BIN MOHD FITRI

DOB : 8th July 2009

Weight : 3.13 kg (the smallest among three, maybe becoz he was born 2 weeks in advance)

Length : 52 cm

Story behind his name. If you can see, the name rhymes with Aliff which wasn't our criteria in choosing a name for our 3rd boy. But, Abah likes it. This is the first time he (or any of our parents) intervenes in choosing a name for our baby. With him in that kind of condition, the best thing for us to do is to follow his choice so Aqieff it is...meaning "seorang yang fokus."

So now I have three boys in the family..plus Hubby, four. I'm definitely outnumbered! But I'm blessed. Blessed with God's gift.

"Kita ada four boys sekarang. Kesian Ibu takde kawan...," said Ashraff. Geee...who cares...I feel so special surrounded my boys. Plus, that's one thing I have in common with Victoria Beckham...hahaha...

Aqieff was so far an easy baby, alhamdulillah. Ashraff adores his brother very much, which was different when he got Aliff last time. Aliff has no sign of jealousy so far. So it was easy to handle the boys this time around as compared to handling Ashraff when we got Aliff. Maybe due to age factor. Ashraff got Aliff when he was 2yo3mo, while Aliff got Aqieff when he was 2yo8mo.

As for confinement, this is the first time Mak couldn't take care of me so I have to survive on my own. Thank God, Mak Pontian was here for the first two weeks to help. And I hired a confinement nanny to help me with the cooking, urut, tungku, tangas, bengkung, lulur, mandikan baby..and other general help she could. Kak Nor is a major helper. And I was treated to everyday spa at home!

Despite that, confinement still means confined between the four walls..so you tend to get bored. Jadual Astro pun dah hafal..hehehe...Everyday I make a mark at the calendar. Bila nak habis 44 hari ni...Today will be my 18th day of confinement. Another 26 days to go...Time moves very slowly...

Now some updates on Abah. He was weaker than the last time I blog about him. He is now on diapers, few people have to lift his body to make him stand and walk and not only his leg but his hands are now swollen. I never got the chance to see him everyday now that I'm in confinement. The last time I saw him was when Aqieff was admitted due to jaundice so as I visit Aqieff in the hospital, I visited Abah in another hospital as well. Tomorrow I shall be going to Mak's house to stay overnight as Hubby is going to Singapore (to watch Liverpool game live there). So, I got the chance to see Abah...and massage his legs and hands, talk to him, keep him company...

I wouldn't blog about his actual condition coz only Mak and me knows about it. Let just say, only miracle can cure him now..We keep on praying for this miracle to come...

Oh by the way, just to share. For this confinement, I'm using Nona Roguy's product. For the first time, I have no constipation problem during my confinement. Thumbs up to the product!

Heii banyaknya benda nak blog...Another thing, the boys are finally sleeping in their own room! But Ayah got to put them to sleep first. It was a pretty easy transition period for the boys. Now we only have 1 boy to share the room with us...

"Home Sweet Home"

2009-06-29T20:08:00.003+08:00

I haven't got time to write long entry..what more to post some photos...

But I got to mark this date down...

27th June 2009...is the day we finally moved in to our new house. A house which insyaAllah will be our permanent house till bercucu-cicit. Unless, we strike a gold somewhere which allows us to upgrade our house to let say, a mansion..:)

If I have the time, I'll share you more story on this..and post some pictures. You see we do not have a camera (camera rosak!)..and all photos are taken with our so-so handphones which does not come with a cable to 'sedut' the photos to our PCs. Jadi faham-faham sajelah...

Oh, lil more update since ada time lagi before Hubby arrives...

On the not-so-nice news, my father is diagnosed with unknown cancer about 1 1/2 months ago. 'Unknown' because the cancerous lumps happens to take place in between his stomach fats, which according to oncologist is a rare case because cancer should start from an organ. Initially, the whole family was sad and shock at the same time. I cried for days (almost every prayer), but after a while, we learn to accept it as fate and most importantly, to encourage and motivate Abah to take it positively. Abah lost lots of weight. Hanya tinggal kulit dan tulang sahaja from waist above, as from waist downwards was blotted with water. His feet, especially, is swollen so he couldn't walk far. He just stayed upstairs sebab once he go downstairs, he needs help from at least two people to carry him upstairs again (one to papah dia, and another to help him lift his feet so he can climb the stairs). My used to be healthy father is sick and it is sad to see him suffer. So far, he has undergone 3 sessions of chemo..so about 5 times more before the doctor does a full body scanning to see if there's any improvement. Now, we can only pray to see him recover cause not all cancer is fatal. Many survives.

Ok, Hubby is here..so long...

A helping hand is here!

2009-04-16T21:03:00.003+08:00

Alhamdulillah, our new maid has arrived last weekend. When we say 'our' it includes the whole Fitri's troop and Mak Abah i.e the maid is shared with Mak and Abah. No, she does not earn double income. Instead, the maid's monthly salary is paid from two different pockets - mine and Mak's. She is just our part-time maid who does the basic household chores for us - ironing, washing, folding the bajus and cleaning the house. Tugas dia lebih kurang sama macam those maids you hire on weekends.

We still send Ashraff and Aliff to day care centres. And when we moved to our new house, we shall not bring her with us. She stays at Mak's house. That's the arrangement for the time being.

I'm happy and less tired now. Kerja dah lah melambak kat office. Balik rumah nak iron, basuh baju, lipat baju lagi. Hey, I'm not a super-wifey and super-mummy. Plus, I'm getting heavier. Paling tak suka buat is gosok baju. Berdiri lama-lama gosok baju boleh buat tapak kaki I jadi sakit..and peluh tak payah nak ceritalah.

Now, I have more time to look at Ashraff's homework, read them goodnight story books and berborak. That is if I'm still not stuck in the office at 9 pm lah kan..(mcm hari ni). Got to go now!

P.S: Sofa, checked. Curtain, almost checked. Target to move: by end of May.

P.P.S : Still hasn't choose a name for our 3rd boy. What's a good name that starts with an "A" and ends with "FF" and does not rhyme with Aliff? Or on a 2nd though, "FF" kat tengah pun takpelah:)

Money, Money, Money...

2009-04-03T19:15:00.003+08:00

Alhamdulillah, I've just received the back-dated salary adjustment that I've been waiting for since last year. Since it's back-dated, kembunglah bank account. But not for long because this money shall now goes to the furniture shops. Sofa, dining table, king-size bed..and curtains...errr..don't think it'll be enough to cover all..

We also have to allocate some for the maid which I've been negotiating with Mak to pay half of the agent fees and monthly salary. And let the maid stays at Mak's house so we can have some privacy at our new house...and to make sure I'm at my toes on whereabouts are the children's things sebab kalau ada maid ni I tend to take things for granted. Mak seems to agree to let the maid stay with her at this point in time. Basically we want to have a part-time maid. At first, we thought of hiring the maid who came during weekend but then we are in the dilemma on sending the 3rd baby to nursery at 2-month old age. So negotiating with Mak is the next best thing to do since Mak is also looking forward for an extra helping hand.

The plan is to send both Ashraff and Aliff to full-day programme at school and only the baby will be taken care of by the maid at Mak's house. Kena review jugak budget takut quite costly. Hey, we both don't earn that much...:)

Oh, it's Maghrib time. Gotta pray coz Hubby is fetching me right after Maghrib to watch movie together after so long...Confession Of A Shopaholic..wuhuu!

What's up RafiqahEliza?

2009-03-25T19:39:00.001+08:00

Hehehehe...where have I been for the last 5 months?

Well, I'm still alive and kicking..but very (3x) busy..mengalahkan PM.

For the past 5 months, there's been a lot going on in my life I just don't know where to start. So I better make it into point form to make sure I do not miss anything.

1. Work - I'm out of Branch, thus no longer doing branch operation. I was transferred to HQ on 1 December 2008 into credit department, doing regional work for loan applications received by the Bank. This includes vetting applications done by the branch and presenting it to the committee. The hard pard is of course presenting caused you are high likely to be bombarded by committee should you miss out some important facts or worst case, give them the wrong information altogether. But I've learned to become 'muka tembok' and put everything behind you as you walked out from the committee's meeting room. So far I love this job but it gave me no time to blog or surfing. Well, well.

2. Hubby - Alhamdulillah, he received his CPA Australia certification last month. I'm proud to see him walk up the stage to receive his cert. Now, he's pursuing MBA, thus he has to forgo half of his weekends with the family to attend classes. Not only that, he has to wake up at 5am to do his assignment and help me with doing laundry at the same time now that we are maidless. Talking about maidless...

3. Life without a maid - Tired but satisfied. I'm happy because I have a helpful helper i.e. hubby. The kids weren't too hard to handle as they can be left unattended (provided they stay in a room) so I can do some household chores before putting them to sleep. We send Ashraff to a full day programme at Islamic kindy while Aliff was sent to the nursery. So far we love to see their development.

4. New house - kita hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan. We are still staying at my parents'. Apparently we are facing cost overuns..hahaha..Nope, adalah reason yang lagi concrete. Lihat di bawah...

5. New family member - Alhamdulillah, I'm 5 months preggy. Due in July this year. And it is quite a hard first trimester for me as I was admitted to the hospital due to dehydration. So now u can figure why we can't move in to our new house. Who wants to help hubby to do the cleaning and unpacking job? Hehehe...but I'm okay now. In fact, kitaorang dah tau gender baby ni. Jeng, jeng, jeng...Another BOY! Seriously if u asked me, I don't mind, but what frustrates me is because I dissapoint Ashraff who keeps on telling me he wants a sister so tak payah berebut-rebut nak main his toys as she can play with her Barbie (siap bagi reason tu) and my mom who wants cucu perempuan from the very beginning. Tengok diaorang frust, kita pun frust. For me, just as long as sempurna dan sihat, alhamdulillah. Lagipun I feel special to be the only female in the family. Kalau gambar raya I sorang je pakai baju kurung, yang lain pakai baju Melayu. How cool is that!

6. Business - As abandoned as this blog, the same goes for CMOG. I do take orders but very limited due to my time constraint. I need to spare some ME time to take care of my physical health sebab kalau Ibu dah stress, susah nanti..hehehe..

The next point I think I better make it into another sub-heading because I'm gonna talk about the boys...

ASHRAFF:-

1. He is 4 years and 7 months. His baby brother will come just in time for his 5th birthday.

2. He is attending Islamic kindy school and alhamdulillah he attended the school without much hesitation.

3. On the 1st day of school he cried because he has to stay till evening while most of the kids go back in the afternoon. But I managed to convince him to stay dengan alasan "Kalau Aliff boleh duduk nursery sampai petang, kenapa Ashraff tak boleh." That's when his ego strikes in...and he kept quiet after that.

4. I love the activity they had for the full day programme. They have prayer time, doa time, makan time, nap time, mandi time and khalifah circle time. So basically now Ashraff knows the basic prayer movements and bacaan-bacaan yang senang. He also knows when to doa - nak makan (yang ni dari dulu lagi), nak tidur, keluar rumah, masuk and keluar tandas. And the best part is tak semua doa dia hafal so at home he asked me or Hubby to recite. Gosh! Frankly speaking, banyak yang kitaorang tak hafal, but to fulfill his demand, now both me and Hubby terpaksa hafal some of the doas, which is also beneficial for us. Kalau tak kena macam ni, sampai bila pun tak hafal.

5. I also love to see the positive changes in his behaviour. He helps me a lot especially when Hubby is away. Some of the things he helps me is to pack his and Aliff's things for school and nursery. He make sure that his pajamas and Aliff's are ready on bed so that Ibu can change them into pjs without much hassle.

6. I'm yet to see him read...and to see him wean from drinking milk from bottle.

ALIFF:-

1. He is 2 years and 4 months to be exact. Will be brother when he's 2 years 8 months. But in terms of year, they are 3 years gap.

2. Still chubby..and cheeky too.

3. Kuat makan, kuat berlari, kuat main, kuat tantrum..

4. A chatterbox. Can ask question perfectly. Cepat warm up to stranger as compared to his brother.

5. Suka buli abang. Abang being very good brother selalu mengalah, unless he's damn angry like this one time, Abang dah penat-penat buat tower with blocks, tetiba datang Aliff dia saja je langgar and the whole tower just collapsed. Abang was so pissed off, dia tolak Aliff jatuh terhentam kepala kat lantai, and then dia cakar muka Aliff. Berceloreng muka Aliff..

6. He no longer breastfeed. I've tried different methods like slow talking until to the extend of putting benda-benda pahit kat tempat yang sepatutnya, but nothing works. Until one day, I wean him cold turkey. I let him cried for one hour..berguling-guling atas lantai. Tried that before but my heart cepat cair and gave up. But that one fine day, hati I memang cekal. I couldn't take it anymore as it's very painful when he breastfeed and dah takde susu pun. He finally gave up trying and opt for susu Milo instead (susu Milo = chocolate flavoured formula). The next day his crying shortened and finally he stopped asking.

7. He love to sayang-sayang baby. He will hug my tummy and say "sayang baby"...

Opps...Hubby is coming. Gotta sign off. I'll post some pictures later...insyaAllah..

An Update..after my long absence..

2008-10-22T11:18:00.014+08:00

Hellooo...

It's been a long while since my last update. 4 months, believe it or not. I guess this is the longest period since I left any entry.

As usual, to start again is not easy. Writer's block..Lost of vocabs..Poor sentence structure...Mixture of English and Malay. Do excuse me for that..

Thus, I opt for a simple way to update about myself..and my family..that is, by using point form..

1. I am a busy woman..very busy at work since we have to take care from A-Z of banking operation i.e. from marketing, processing loan, disbursement, collection and NPL rectification. Gila ke hape..I memang lost focus. Itu nak buat, ini nak buat, last-last semuanya tak siap...

2. I am maidless since one week before Raya. We sent bibik for 1 month holiday, and she ends up not coming back here (just as we expected). We decided not to use the help of maid as at now. With the help of my supportive hubby, alhamdulillah, I manage to resume my duty as a bionic woman who take charge of everything in the household..except for masak..sebab as at now, Mak takes care of those. But dah pindah rumah nanti, semua sekali kena buat. If other people can do it, why can't I? Plus, I feel a lot more satisfaction having to do it on my own. Cause when we had bibik, I neglect some of the things. Baju ni simpan kat mana, or toys ni simpan kat mana pun tak tahu.

So far okay as the boys can play on their own now, leaving me with ample time to take care of household chores. But I don't know what it'll be like if I'm pregnant again and have a newborn.

3. As mentioned in point 1, nope I'm not pregnant. I wanted so much to have a baby in the 1st half of 2009, but God knows best. Currently, it's like "kalau ada, adalah..kalau takde pun, takpe..". Kira taklah beriya2 and got frustrated everytime tak jadi..if you got what I mean.

4. Lanjutan dari perkara 1 dan 2, CMOG is abandoned. Not totally, but slightly ignored. I have to decline big orders, which is quite frustrating. Even now, I have to find ways to continue with CMOG despite not having maid. Time management everybody!

5. About being maidless, we have decided to enrol Ashraff in a full day programme. Since Ashraff's current school does not have full-day programme, we decided to switch to a new kindy next year. This time it's an Islamic English medium kindy and hope it is for Ashraff's own good. As at now, Ashraff is staying with Tok Mak and Tok Abah after school.

6. As for Aliff, we are sending him to a daycare centre starting next month. This is my biggest dilemma. To be able to have a strong heart to see his sad face everytime we send him off to the daycarer, especially during the first few days. Or whether he can adapt well to the new environment. Whether the daycarer can cope with Aliff's tantrums and antics. Plus, the day we send him to nursery is also the first day he weans from breastfeeding (plannya) as it is the day after his 2nd birthday! Oh two new changes in one day. My poor baby...

7. About weaning, I still have no idea on how to do it or will my plan to wean him off on his 2nd birthday materializes. Aliff is still very much attached to it. He refused to take formula when he is with me. My biggest worry is during the night feeding. Takutnya nak tempuhi saat-saat itu..oh please make it easy for me and my Aliff...

8. Our new house..renovation just completed. Now we are looking for all the loose fittings - furnitures, lighting, paint, wallpaper, curtains..oh so many things to consider..and so much money involves...Plan : to celebrate New Year at our new house.

9. Our old house...manage to find a buyer. S&P signed and deposit taken. But we haven't move our things as yet. Plan : To do it after Raya.

10. Hubby...currently doing MBA. So basically half of our weekends are gone as he has to attend classes. Not a problem..I support him all the way.

11. The boys are doing great and thriving well. Ashraff is a lot matured now. He can tolerate his brother's antics. In fact, he understands that bibik is not coming home..and ibu is penat so don't make ibu marah. He keeps on reminding Aliff to do this and not to do that. But of course, a 4 yo is still a 4 yo. Bergaduh, melawan cakap, sepahkan barang, masihlah buat.

12. As for Aliff, he is a chatter-box especially after the prolonged fever during Raya holiday (maybe rindukan bibik kot). He can not only construct sentences, but he can ask questions well too. Macamana ni? siapa tu? kenapa? apa? all at the right places.

Apa lagi ye...Oh yeah, due to my demanding activity, my social life is neglected. I miss going to Aidan's party, miss Ariff's party, miss reading all the juicy stories from hot-gucci blogging mama...Thank God we still make it to most of the Raya's open houses. Hmm..what to do...

Anyway, here's a Raya picture from us...

It maybe too late..but what the heck, Selamat Hari Raya from Fitri, Rafiqah, Ashraff and Aliff...

Photos of the boys...

Till my next update (yang tak tahu bila), adios!

Ashraff's first exam

2008-07-08T16:47:00.003+08:00

'Exam' is pretty big word for a 4-year old. 'Assessment' is milder. Excuse me for being ignorance to my son's assesstment time table, but he happens to have his knowledge and skills being put to test two weeks ago. 23 June 2008 to be exact. How did I find out? From the result given by the teacher yesterday.

We were suprised yet thrilled when Ashraff showed us his results yesterday. He got 84% for his Phonics, 97% for his Bahasa Malaysia and both 100% for his Maths and Science.

It was all expected. As mentioned in one of my earlier posts, Ashraff is slightly weak in alphabet recognition, thus his phonics was affected. So 84% is not bad, plus I find the questions quite tough. As for maths and science, that is expected too. He has such a great interest in that..apart from Arts.

As I looked through the papers, I can't believe he did it by himself as he told us so. I can buy his word as so far he is pretty much sincere. If he did it with the help of the teacher, he'll say so. If he is naught at school or fight in school, he'll tell us so.

Oh talking about Ashraff, he is 100% toilet-trained, both day and night. Yippee! He'll wake us up at night to pee. So far, he's diaper-less at night for the past one week without any accident. Now I have to wean him from bottle. Talking about weaning, there's 2 tough jobs that I'm targeting to do in the next few months. One is to wean Ashraff from bottle..and a much harder job is to wean Aliff from bfeeding. Phewhhh..please God, make my task easier...

The Carnival & “Chinese Wedding”

2008-07-03T08:30:00.000+08:00

Some updates on what’s happening last weekend.

Saturday, 28th June 2008

It was my 31st birthday. Some people might not have disclosed the number at this age. But there’s nothing for me to hide. I’m flattered that Hubby told me that I still look the same after all these years:)

Nothing extraordinary happened this day except for a birthday wish from Hubby at exactly 12 a.m. in the morning, and a perfectly sang birthday song from Ashraff. I had to spend half a day at the office. Both me and hubby actually.

Then at about 6.30 p.m, we headed to Bangi (Permata) for Petr0nas Carnival held annually. They have a mini “Jom Heboh” concert there. It was our first visit to the carnival. Wow! Impressive. I bet the Petr0nas Group spent a fortune there. We laid down our tikar mengkuang and sat and ate there at all times, while we enjoy the performances by our local artistes – Anuar Zain and Wings, and Indonesian Singer, Acha. The emcee is AC Mizal by the way.

Okay ni satu benda yang I frust. Though I’m not an Anuar Zain’s fan, but to be so close to him and yet not bringing my camera along is such a big disappointment to me. He was right in front of him, and everybody was rushing and pushing me to take photo of him, yet this lady here didn’t bring her camera along. I could only smile at him, boleh?! Kalau lah ada camera, bolehlah nak show off kat Farid..hehehe…

Sunday, 29th June 2008

A mundane Sunday morning to start with. In the afternoon, I was busy choosing a nice attire for Hubby’s Chinese friend’s wedding at KL Convention Centre. I have never attended a Chinese wedding before so I’m a bit clueless on what to wear. Hubby said just wear a nice top with pants. Tak payahlah pakai baju kurung. So I spent for about one hours choosing what to wear. Pinjam sikit dari ‘butik Mak’. Mix and match here and there. Tanya pendapat Hubby coz that’s what I normally does. I felt like I was attending company’s annual dinner, except Hubby told me a bit too late, thus I don’t have time to shop for new dress. I haven’t buy any proper/formal dress for quite sometime. Kena-kena time inflasi ni.

At last, I resort to wearing a black top (sampai paras lutut) with a pair of black stretchy-flair pants. And I planned to borrow Mak’s gold handbag and shoes for the night. Hubby choosed to wear his long sleeved black shirt with dark coloured jeans than look almost like a nice fitted trousers.

Straight away after attending a friend of Ashraff’s birthday party at 3 pm, me and Hubby were rushing to get ready for the event. I grabbed Mak’s stilletos and handbag and Hubby looked at me with one kind “You’re wearing gold shoes?!”
“Kenapa tak boleh ke?”
“No problem. Just asking.”

So off we went to KLCC. As we walked our ways among the quite heavy crowd at KLCC, I noticed that people who passes us by looked at me and Hubby satu macam. They looked at me dari atas ke bawah, and then kat Hubby. Only then did I noticed Hubby is wearing his sneakers. Sneakers?! What?! Beb, mana nak kena dengan gua punya gold stilletos and gold handbag. I looked way older than him…and was overdressed. Tak puas hati I terus confronted him, “Kenapa u pakai kasut tu?! I ingat u pakai kasut kerja. Orang tengok I semacam. Kita look odd together.”
“Okay apa…mana ada peliknya…”

Fine. I lost my mood. I don’t have the appetite to talk. So it was a quiet journey till we reached a small function room, when Hubby said…

“Yang, this is my birthday gift to you. Happy Birthday, Yang!” sambil tersengih macam kerang busuk.

Only then did I realised the banner at the entrance.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST – The Broadway Musical.

Omigod! Suddenly my depressing face turned into a broad smile.

Hubby knows I love musical theatre so much and wanted to watch one here in Malaysia just like I did in Australia, but hey, makcik tak mampu.

He bought the ticket one month ago and praying that everything went smoothly. And indeed it went well. Except for the fact that I was a bit too overdressed that night. So I had to keep my gold handbag in B&B’s paper bag.

Anyway, it was a special function for Toyota’s users so we got to meet some of the casts. The VIP seat was a perfect seating for us. After so long, I got to watch theatre again. Thanks Hubby! And oh, he even bought me a B&B’s souvenir which is a snow globe with the red rose inside.

Thus, if anyone asked me how was the Chinese wedding, my answer will be “The bride is beautiful, but the groom turns out to be a beast!” Hahaha…

A visit to "Rumah Cik Maimon".

2008-06-20T07:45:00.016+08:00

Do u know this place?

When was the last time u visited this place?

I can't remember when...or whether I have actually step my foot in this place. Oh, just in case you have no idea what place I'm talking about, it's our National Monument (or just like NST's advert, it's 'Rumah Cik Maimon':))

MIL and SIL came early of this month, so Hubby decided to bring them to a historical sight. On their last visit, Hubby brought them to Muzium Negara (which I could not follow coz I got to work), and this time, it's the National Monument.

Being a first-timer there, I would say it's such an impressive statue. No wonder it's a must for tourist to go there...and they maintained the place well with all the fountains, gardens and what not.

Garfield in Malaysia? Well, this cat was dyed with henna. Nice attempt to get some tourist attraction.

While some people took pictures seriously, some do it lightly. For e.g this father-and-son duo...

Aliff was not in the mood to play initially...but after some time, he got restless in the gendong and decided to go for a walk...and of course, very much attracted to the water spots...

And refused to go back...

I guess a visit to historical sights around KL is mostly forgotten by the KLites. Most people opt for shopping complexes, theme parks, balik kampung..or just lepaking at home during weekends/holidays...yelah dengan harga minyak yang mendadak naik ni...

There's something about...

2008-06-17T19:03:00.006+08:00

…My Two Boys.

I have been blogging in my head for the last few weeks about the development of Ashraff and Aliff. Constructing sentences in the LRT, before I go to sleep, in the toilet..almost everwhere. Now that I have the time to actually blog, I seemed at lost. I just don’t know where to start.

Emmm…

Naturally, I’ll start with Ashraff.

Ashraff

He is currently 3 years and 10 months old.

As mentioned earlier, he has been sick on and off for the last few months (not a nice opening, I know). Not so much of severe fever, but more of runny nose, then proceed to coughing…and then ended up with mild bronchitis. He wouldn’t cure by its own without the help of antibiotic. Thus, depending on how often he fell sick, sometimes he has to take the next course of antibiotic in the span of two weeks gap. Tell me mothers, is it okay to take antibiotic that often?

As for development wise, he developed quite some skills and knowledge, thanks to the school, books and VCDs. He can count from 1-20, although he misses on few numbers like 13 and 15. I guess if the number is spelt out as “three-teen” or “five-teen” instead of “thirteen” and “fifteen”, I’m sure he’ll not miss those numbers. If the quantity of the object is less than 5, he can tell us the quantity without pointing at each object and count.

As opposed to numbers, Ashraff still has not recognized most of the alphabets. Yup, he’s improving as compared to before attending school, but I still feel he’s lacking in that area (or am I too enthusiast?). He doesn’t show us much interest until recently, where he’ll try to spell some of the words he found in his book. And I guess now he can figure out that when we mentioned “A is for Apple”, he actually have to look at the first letter to tell..and not the letter in between (got what I mean?). And then he will ask something like “S is for apa, Ibu?”…and I’ll have to give him some words as an answer.

Although he hasn’t reaches the age of 4 yet, but some kids I know has able to recognize alphabet well…and some even can read simple words. Ok, am I putting high hope on him should I expect him to read simple words by the end of this year (though I do not say that to him..i’m just keeping my finger crossed in silence)? Or at least spell out his name? Or am I freaking out here? Hahaha…

As for spoken language, I would say Ashraff’s English vocab expands tremendously. He can speak full sentence in English. And sometimes we had a conversation without one word of Malay coming out from his mouth. I’m quite surprise…sebab kalau nak ikutkan we mostly talk in Malay at home. He must have learnt it from school or the VCDs. But the thing I noticed recently is he’ll start changing the name he calls us to “mom” and “dad” everytime he speaks in English. Sekali dengan slang American lagi. Geli babe!

Ashraff also shows us some tremendous interest in animals. First, he loves to watch Animal Planet, his second option after Ceria. And it shall follow with a string of questions yang amatlah mencabar nak jawab. These are few questions that came out of Ashraff’s mouth:-

1. How does a fish sleep?

2. Caterpillar tidur kat mana? Grasshopper pulak? Kalau owl tidur kat dalam lubang kan? Ibu dia jawab,“errr…I guess.” (note to self : check the internet).

3. Mana ayah animal tu? Mana ibu dia? Yang kecik tu baby dia ke? Mana Ashraff dia? Aliff dia mana?

4. Kalau owl dia tidur siang ke? Malam dia tak tidur? Animal apa lagi tak tidur malam?

5. Kalau baby dog is puppy, baby wolf apa ibu? (is it a cub?)

6. Coyote dalam Melayu apa ibu?

7. Owl makan apa ibu? Bee makan apa? Macamana bee buat honey ibu?

8. Kat mana nak tengok dinosaur Ibu? Kat zoo ada tak? Dia big ke Ibu? (note to self : buy him Jurassic Park CD).

9. “Kita boleh pegang stingray tak ibu?”
Ibu dengan selambanya jawab, “Boleh!”.
“Mana boleh ibu. Stingray ada poison tau..kalau kena cucuk boleh mati.”
“Opps sorry..ibu lupa…Pandailah Ashraff ni”
Nice going ibu!

10. This is the best so far.
“Ibu, spider minum air apa?”
Ibu sambil berfikir spider minum air ke? menjawab “Air hujan”.
“Hah?! Ye ke ibu?”
Alamak ibu panic! “Kenapa Ashraff? Tak betul ke?”
“Kalau lagu itsy bitsy spider tu, spider takut air hujan..kalau kena rain, it will wash the spider out kan?”
Way to go Ibu! Siapa kata orang yang makan garam dulu akan lebih berpengetahuan? Emmm… I should stick to “Spider tak minum air kot. But Ibu’ll check.” Now I’m wondering, spider minum air tak?

One thing good about the exercise above, I got to find out the answers and at the same time brush up my knowledge in this department. I can’t remember being so inquisitive at this age. Yup, I do ask a lot I remember, but not so much of what I’d categorise as intelligent questions.

Ok everybody, Ashraff finally make friends with some girls in school. Let me see, we got someone by the name of Heidi, Aisya, Aliya, Sara, Amanda. Among the girls, Ashraff likes Aisya. Kalau tanya kenapa. Dia tak jawab. Anyway, I’ve met with Aisya. Cantik budaknya. Fair, long hair and has that Chinese look. Hehehe..

Now my very picky eater, has some favourite dishes as his meal. He loves to eat daging masak kicap..and anything that has ikan bilis. For him, kalau the dish takde rasa pedas, he’ll refuse to eat. Dia kena ada slightly rasa pedas. He told me that he refused to eat at school because “food dia takde cili”. Gee! Even his daging masak kicap, I have to tumis sedikit cili blend first.

Hmmm what else with Ashraff. Gaduh dengan Aliff, tetap. Tak nak share toys with Aliff, tetap. Kalau hitam kata dia maka hitamlah, tetap. Minum susu pakai botol, tetap.

Move on with Aliff…

Aliff

He is currently 1 year 7 months old.

He’s still breastfeeding, but now he has started to drink formula with chocolate favor. He doesn’t take it from bottle, instead he prefers drinking from a cup using a straw. Looks like he’s weaning from bottle very soon.

Now that he has started drinking formula, I’ve reduced my pumping time in the office from twice to once. I’ve also started to think how I can completely wean him from breastfeeding. I want to do it gradually so by the age of 2 he shall officially wean from bf. Ehem…I’m actually planning for a new baby. So far no sign yet. But Mak told me since I’ve pasang niat to bf Aliff till he’s two, so I presumed Allah has granted my wish by not making me pregnant before he’s 2 (of coslah dia belum 2 lagi). You know, there’s a big possibility I have to immediately stop him from bf once I’m pregnant..esp I have experienced the sign of miscarriage while I was pregnant with Aliff last time.

Eh, ni update pasal Aliff ke atau Ibu dia?

Back to Aliff. He’s thriving well. He eats almost anything. He is very adventurous in food tasting. He’ll taste whatever is in front of him, and if he dislikes it, he’ll spit it out. I remember with Ashraff, how he dislikes food so much at Aliff’s age, we have to force him to eat..and once the food is inside he’s mouth, he’ll immediately throw it out. We ended up having to bathe him as he vomitted lots of times. Gosh…those were the days.

Aliff, just like his brother, loves Ultraman. He’ll go “Hayak! Hayak!” all the way, complete with action and what not. Just like Ashraff, he can also follow in the tune of Ultraman’s song..altho his was a “pelat” version.

Talking about pelat, this boy is pelat babe! Boleh tahan pekat jugak. Sometimes tak faham satu hapah pun yang dia cakap. But he talks a lot. I remember Ashraff having very limited vocab at this age, but Aliff, he can construct sentences at this age. He can even ask “Ibu buat apa?”. And everyone will love him like hell whenever he said “Hi Ibu!” or “Hi Ayah!” with that big cheeky smile on his face. That smile yang sangat mahal as he doesn’t smile a lot. He doesn’t laugh as much and as loud as Ashraff either. Oklah maybe Ashraff is a bit too loud and extreme..be it laughing or crying…hahaha. With Aliff, if he laughs once in a blue moon, it is infectious. Everyone will laugh with him. He has that chubby cheeks yang memang sedap untuk dicium..altho unlike Ashraff, he hates to be kissed. Ashraff is kissable and huggable. Ashraff loves to rub nose with me, something that I did since he was small. With Aliff, he hates it!

Now Aliff, as compared to Ashraff, is pretty hard to teach dual language. Ashraff at this age can use both Malay and English interchangeably. But Aliff, if he associates an object with a word, he refused to associate the same object with another word i.e. another language. He’ll usually follow the first word that we teached him. If it’s Malay, then it’s going to be forever the Malay word. Contoh macam “buku”, is forever going to be “buku” (so far) and mata is always “mata”. We tried to teach him to say “book” or “eyes” but he refused to budge. Dia akan cakap “mata, mata mata” or “buku, buku, buku”je. But if the introductory word is English, so English it is. “Lizard” and “Cat” are some of the words that he’ll say in English. He’ll never say ‘cicak’ or ‘kucing’. So spending most of his times with bibik, u can guess lah bahasa apa yang dia mostly cakap…yup, Malay with Indon slang. Damn!

In this area, I usually seek for Ashraff’s help. I told him to speak English with Aliff. So at times I overheard him speak to Aliff “Talk in English, Aliff. Not “dua”, but “two”.

This may be my instinct as a mother, but maybe Aliff is not of a linguistic person like Ashraff. Instead he is very good with his hands. He can open almost any packaging, no matter how tightly sealed the packaging was. Patience is his virtue. He can sit for hours dismantling stuffs and constructing things. Ashraff has never had that kind of patience. Kalau suruh buat tu semuanya “Ashraff tak pandai bukak. Ashraff kan kecik lagi”. *Roll eyes..roll eyes* But, you see, having kid which is good with his hands at Aliff’s age, lots of stuffs are destroyed. Bedak berterabur, air dalam botol tumpah, minyak masak baru beli sikit lagi nak tumpah..eh banyaklah kejadian yang catatrophic berlaku…hehe…

Now about teeth..hmmm…I can’t tell how many teeth he actually got but what I can see is only 8 teeth. Maybe he has few gigi geraham at the back, but I can’t really see. Asking him to open his small and pouty lips is a major dreadful thing to do. He’ll throw tantrum for sure.

About taking medicine, gosh with Aliff, susahnya nak bagi makan ubat! Ashraff senang sangat! Bukak mulut, terus telan. Takde nangis, takde jerit. With Aliff, susahnya! Menjerit2 macam kena pukul. And he’ll gurgle the medicine, refuse to swallow and sembur balik kat muka kita. Bengang ok! Yang peliknya, bila kita tekan hidung dia, tak jugak dia telan ubat tu. Nasib baiklah dia jarang sakit.

Now about TV time. Just when I thought I’ve passed that The-TV-is-Mine-24/7 stage with Ashraff, Aliff is now entering the same stage. Rasanya baru 6 bulan I berjaya negotiate with Ashraff on TV time. Tiba-tiba sekarang I have to berebut dengan Aliff pulak. There were few times, he was mad when I switched off the DVD player and turned on my program. And I’m expecting that kind of behaviour to be intensified in a few months time. Looks like I could never watch my program with the kids around.

Emmm…I guess that’s all about the boys.

Wow, finally I’ve updated about them. I’m glad.

As for me pal, I’m a very busy woman. Office work is hell! I’ve applied for transfer. Tengoklah kalau ada rezeki, maybe I can be transferred to a lesser busy department. Or at least, a department where I don’t have to deal with external clients. Babe, tak larat melayan kerenah client ni…And oh, guess what, 3 pregnant ladies in this department have now miscarriaged. Yang sedang mencuba pulak, tak melekat2. Must be the stress. I have to do something…kalau boleh, taknaklah stop at 2. I want baby no 3, babe..Hoping for a girl:)

Sports' Day, Old School and such.

2008-05-27T07:48:00.025+08:00

The last time I updated the blog was one month ago. That’s a looong time, isn’t it? Not that I don’t have any juicy stories to update, but I have lost the appetite to blog, mainly due to my tight schedule, both office work and CMOG. Alternately, the boys often fell sick – fever, bad cough and flu. Ashraff has been suffering from runny nose and bad cough which only can be cured by antibiotics every now and then. Aliff, if he’s not strong enough, will follow suit. If u r a parent yourself, you will know how tiring it is to care for the sick. Thus, if you happened to feel that I’m slimmer than the last time you saw me, then this may be the major cause.

Anyway, here are few events that took place since my last entry:-

30th April – Ashraff’s Sports’ Day.

It was his first sports event. He entered 4 games – letak beanbag atas kepala, bawak toys dalam pinggan, masukkan bola dalam bakul and lari dalam gelung. I guess being the first sports’ day and merely entering 4 yrs old, he still could not grasp the concept of sports and its spirit. For him, all that matters is to complete the task as perfect as possible without considering the speed. It was so funny whereby in one event he actually walked and then turn back half-way down the road. I guess he must have hate that event.

There’s also parent-child games. And one game was a blow for me, where I fell down, bringing Ashraff down as well. I had to run carrying Ashraff, and towards the end of the line, I lost my balance. Ashraff was badly hit on his head. It was an embarrassing moment for me. I felt like I was labeled as “The Mom who fell down” the entire day. And guess what? Just to make my day, hubby caught the entire scene on video tape. Geee…

17th – 19th May – Branch’s Family Day.

My former branch had a family day in which we joined in the fun. This time around it was at Sutera Beach Resort, Kuala Terengganu. I simply love the resort. Nice and serene…and I love the swimming pool. It’s as green as the nearby ocean.

The holiday is not so much of relaxing and lazing around holiday, whereby you can put your legs up and read, swim, eat and sleep comfortably. But instead, me and hubby thought we were one of the contestants of Amazing Race. We were running around the hotel, in the room, at the beach, in the restaurant. Apa lagi kalau bukan kejar mamat Aliff. Thank God Ashraff is big enough to stay at one spot (or follow us kejar Aliff).

Ibu masuk sukaneka..bawak bola pingpong dalam sudu...

...while the kids were having fun playing the sand.

A visit to KT also provides me the opportunity to visit my former school, MRSM KT. I did visit it last year but I noticed I did not upload any pix in my blog. Shall do it this time around. KT is far reaching for me, so I wouldn’t know when I shall visit it again. So here it is…after 14 years leaving the school.

23rd May – Abah’s 65th Birthday Celebration

Abah has turned 65 this year! But Alhamdulillah, he’s still strong and steady..and still energetic considering his age. Mak and Abah enjoy their retirement age very much. They just returned from Istanbul, and next month they are going to Langkawi and in July, off to Terengganu. A jet-setter, that’s what they are. Wish me and hubby could be like them in my golden age.

I guess that’s all from me at this moment. Oh yeah, just want to share with you the simple gift I made for Ashraff’s teachers in conjuction with 2008 Teachers’ Day. I was busy fulfilling orders for Teachers’ Day celebration of one Islamic Private School, when Ashraff insisted I did the same for his teacher..and he specifically mentioned which teacher he wanted to give the gift too. So, just like the order I received, I did the same for Ashraff’s teachers…

A personalized paper bag filled with candies.

An update from moi

2008-04-25T18:31:00.009+08:00

If u happened to pass by my house and saw a big bird better known as peacock, trust me, you are not hallucinating. What you saw is real! Yup, yup. Our neighbour keeps peacock as pet and when he is not at his house (probably going for a holiday or balik kampung) the cage is left opened so that the birds could find their own food.

But I have to tell you, it is such a troublesome for us. One, the bird makes such a loud noise which irritates our ears especially in the middle of the night. And two, it’s faeces really stinks!!

For the past two weeks (or more), the birds have been making lots of noise. I’m just wondering where the hell did my neighbour went and when is he coming back. Poor animal! They must be starving to death…coz to tell you the truth, I do not have the clue what these peacocks have for meal.

Anyway, it’s been a long while since I post an entry. I’m kinda free but I just lost the appetite to blog, since nothing extraordinary happens in my life lately except the fact that my hubby has returned from China & HK and bought us lots of goodies.

Well, about work, I have a not-so-good news which I think and assume will cause me lots of headaches in the future. The bank is under restructuring (again) and this time those in branches are badly affected. Officers in branches are required to do everything! I mean, from entertaining walk-in enquiry about our products until settlement of debt. This involves lots and lots of work including marketing, preparing credit proposal, disbursement, monitoring of loans and credit control. A one-man show. I suffered the same scenario few years back in my old bank and those were the worst two years of my working life. And now, I have to face it again.

I guess I have to take a long leave and do some soul searching. I seriously considering updating my resume and apply for a new job. Any job opening, anyone? Can someone who has almost 8 years of banking experience get out from this industry and enters a completely new industry?

Hmmm…after a long tiring day of work, the only thing that makes me happy is seeing my two boys greeting me everytime I return from work…

That is if they are not up to some good fight or throwing tantrums…

Taking about tantrum, manage to capture a ‘nice’ photo of Aliff in one of his meltdowns in the ever-crowded KLCC. We manage to attract lots of attention..hahaha…

News alert, everybody! I've updated my other window...do check it out!

Look who can doodle now!

2008-04-03T14:19:00.005+08:00

Scribble..scribble...This is fun!

Opps...the pen slips. I'm still learning how to hold it properly...just like Abang.

Got it! Doodle, doodle...

More scribbling...scribble, scribble...

Ok, time's up. Time to tear the papers to small pieces. That's the end of my doodling adventure.

An intimate issue

2008-04-02T16:09:00.002+08:00

This is something personal...something intimate that at first I don't think I want to blog about it (esp knowing the fact that this blog can be assessed by almost anybody)

But when I re-think about it, I know I have to record it somewhere because it is something significant in my life. Something which I have not encountered for the last two years plus.

It is something called "The Menses"....hehehe...

Yup, I got it last Sunday (30/3/2008 to be exact) after two years. Seriously I was shocked! I was still 90% breastfeeding Aliff. So it was something unexpected. I thought I was pregnant because it feels like it. I was telling hubby the day before that I want to have a pregnancy test. Tengok-tengok the very next day, the direct opposite show up. It's like the first time having it. Thank God, I have the stock in place, or else, I'll be in lot of trouble..hahaha..

But I'm glad it has finally decided to show up. So now, I can plan my next pregnancy..hehehe...
Kalau tak, main agak2 je..hahaha.

Missing him!

2008-03-29T17:38:00.000+08:00

Hubby is currently in China. He has been there for almost two weeks. This shall be the longest outstation trip so far, which is about one month.

Or 3 1/2 weeks to be exact.

Oh, when u named it as "week" instead of "month" it sounds and feels better. Sounds shorter and more bearable.

The family misses him. Especially dear Ashraff. At first, he kept on asking "where's Ayah?" And I have to tell him again and again that Ayah is working in China. And then, everytime he hears the clicking sound of the hubby's car, he will ask "Siapa tu?". From the look on his face, he wanted it so much that the answer is "Ayah", thus when the answer is the opposite, he looked dissappointed. In the first few days after Hubby left, Ashraff had problem dozing off. I asked him "Ashraff rindu kat ayah ke?". Dia cakap "A'ah." "Ashraff tak boleh tidur sebab ingat ayah ke?" "A'ah." I almost cried.

You see, Ashraff is closer to his Ayah when I got Aliff. Dia rasa diri dia macam hilang tempat bergantung when Aliff was born, so he turned to Hubby for love and affection. From there on, it's always Ayah this and that. Ayah tidurkan dia. Ayah buat susu dia. Ayah tukar baju dia.

So when Ayah goes outstation, inilah jadinya. Cuma this time around, it's a bit too long. Ashraff pun demam. Maybe sebab kerinduan, maybe jugak sebab the weather. But he's recovering well.

Oh, Hubby might be reading this blog in China, so I don't want to worry him too much, coz I know he misses us as well there. And I'm sure he is counting days to see us. Betol tak, Hubby dearie?

As for myself, I took this chance as a golden opportunity to be independent. To build up the courage and knowledge to take up Hubby's role in his absence. After all, like what Hubby always said, this action is called "Risk Management" - managing risk in your life, coz you can't tell what's going to happen in the future. It feels great whenever I accomplished something that I've never done before - something which I always depend on Hubby or my father to do it. But that does not mean I do not miss Hubby. Obviously, I do. Very much. So don't worry ok hubs?

Ok now, it's time to go back home...so long....

Election '08

2008-03-11T07:59:00.001+08:00

Never give a damn about politics. Never care to find out who wins what seat. Never know the importance of an ADUN to represent the people. That is how ignorance I was to the Malaysian politics. But that was before. This year the battle is so interesting that it keeps me awake all night just to see the outcome of Election 2008.

The result was outrageous and against the norm. Even the most predictable thing like 100% win for blue-and-white “dacing” people in the state down-under proves to be wrong.

It has to be the worst record ever documented in the history of the “dacing” party. No doubt in the last 5 decades, they have done their level best in taking up the role of the government. But in this 12-th general election, they have taken the wrong tactics in winning the people’s heart. Arrogance has pulled them down. Overexposure in the mainstream media has made the voters, especially urban voters, very angry. Not to mention their policies and decisions that affect the bread-and-butter of the citizens. It reflects the unfairness in Malaysian politics..and err..corruption. Well, let’s not delve into the latter here coz that’s one hot and sensitive issue to discuss.

The ‘dacing’ people has to learn from the cue given by the people and improve from there on. They might have been in their comfort seats all this while, so to learn that what happened is actually resulted from themselves, must be something hard to do. Personally, I would say that the result is derived from “vote of no confidence” to the government, and not because the people has sided the opposition. So if the “dacing” can replant the confidence in its people, I am sure they can make amend the whole situation.

All in all, they are still choosen as the government. I have nothing against it. But now, we have a balanced parliament, with the opposition taken more than 1/3 of the seats. Thus, decision making is not as easy as before. Persidangan pun takdelah macam meeting kawan-kawan. I love the fact that there is a check and balance in Malaysian politics. I hope with this, our rights and say are heard, and anticipates this to be the best for us Malaysian citizens.

If it proves to be wrong, than we could rectify this problem in the 13th General Election.

The Fear in Me

2008-03-06T13:53:00.002+08:00

The only time I listen to the radio is in the car. My favourite time of the day is in the morning, on the way to the office and usually we tune in to the Light FM. They will have this section called “Plug the hole”, followed by traffic update, and then the news and some financial tips in “Smart Money”. Later, the radio announcers will come out with a topic for discussion, and listeners got to call in to give their views.

There’s one morning when the announcer listed down some of celebrities’ greatest fears – e.g. Justin Timberlake is scared of snakes and tigers (who doesn’t?) and Carmen Electra is afraid of water (what is she doing starring in Baywatch if she’s scared of water?). Then the announcers opened up the line for callers with a question “What is your greatest fear in life?”

My answer will be “Death”.
Poyonya lah jawapan…semua orang takut mati.
But yeah, I’m indeed scared of the “D” word.
Not so much of me dying and died. But my loved ones’ death - being separated permanently from my loved ones.

There is too much tragedy being reported in the news – accidents involved family members, kids gone missing etc – that makes me thinking “What if I’m in their shoes? What would I feel? How do I cope with that kind of situation?”

Almost everyday, May Abah will send us to work up to the front gate (followed by their prayers). Lately, whenever I saw them bid us farewell, I always have this thought “One day, they’ll leave me for good. Can I leave without them around?” It gives me a shudder everytime I think of it.

For instance, what if Mak is no longer around? Eventhough I’m married, I still very much depended on her…for words of wisdom, for motivation, for hugs and kisses coz no one understands me better than Mak. Ashraff is also fond of his Tok Mak. I still remember when Mak when for Umrah and he asked me to draw Ultraman. Seriously, I’m bad at drawing so the comment I got from Ashraff was “Ibu tak pandai draw Ultraman. Tok Mak je pandai.” Well boy, Tok Mak is not going to be forever with us you know. I guess that’s one of the reasons we want to move to our new house – so that my kids do not depend too much on their grandparents and will be heart-broken once they are gone.

And Abah. Though we always argue (sebab dua-dua panas baran and dua-dua nak menang), I still can’t imagine my life without him. The ever supportive father I've known. The wise one. The leader in the family who navigates the family well. He has that cheeky smile (which Ashraff got it from) which I know I’ll miss seeing once he is no longer around.

And then there is Hubby. He only enters my life 5 years ago, but to be separated permanently from him by way of death, is something unbearable and far-reaching. Living a life of a single parent is full of hardship – financially, emotionally and physically. I can get a glimpse of it whenever Hubby went for work outstation, and even in that temporary situation, I could not stand of not seeing and having him around.

Another one will be my mother-in-law. Although I could not feel her presence everyday (as she lives far away), but it still does not stop me from thinking – what is the impact on my life if she’s not around? Of course, it will affect hubby emotionally and that alone will have indirect impact on me. And then, Hubby being the eldest, and moi the eldest daughter-in-law, I know I have to take up the role of “Kak Long” in the family – handling all the family’s major affair, raya, wedding, kenduri – when MIL is no longer around. That will be one hell of a major task for someone who’s not use to that position.

And then there is my two angels – Ashraff and Aliff. What if Allah decided to take them away from me? Meaning which, I witness the day when they were born till the day they die. Omigod! People will usually express their sympathy whenever a baby is still born, or died few hours after birth. Yup, memang sedih. But for me, it will be more depressing should your child err..died..when they are bigger. The longer they are in our lives, the harder it is to be separated from them. A lot more good memories with them.

I don’t know. Maybe I think too much about something that you can’t measure presently. Something that won’t take you anywhere. But hey, am I the only one? Have you given a thought about this?

Their individual soul

2008-03-03T19:12:00.001+08:00

I've been drafting this post everyday for the last one week. Can't find time to do it one shot. Apart from that, I've somesort of mental blogging with lots and lots of things I want to blog about...if and only if I got the time.

Anyway, after reading my previous post, I really think it’s fair for me to blog about my two tykes individually (can't get enough of them), so that as I look back at this entry in the years to come, I would know their development as at this date. Those previous phases that shall pass and never could be re-visited. So, here goes…

Ashraff

What I would like to remember about him as at todate is his schooling days and the effect on him as a person. You see, Ashraff’s day care giver is his grandparents and our maid, and he’s confined in a familiar surrounding all the time, which is our house. He doesn’t have a schedule to begin with. He can wake up anytime he wants, sleep and eat whenever and whatever he wants, demand unnecessary stuff and most of the times succeeded because either Tok Mak or Tok Abah will get it for him. His life was never regulated. It’s him and only his words count. Pretty hard to bend “his rule”, especially with the short temperament that he got.

Thus, going to school every day was not a smooth journey to start with. The first two days was okay, just as per my previous entry. But after that, it was tough to make him go to school, and it wasn’t me who has to bear it everyday. It was my mother and father (and my maid).

Not every grandparent has the strong heart to do so, especially when grandchildren are concerned. But alhamdulillah, in this situation, Mak was different. She’ll make sure Ashraff goes to school everyday. Nangis pun nangislah. She’ll still force him to go.

Due to tahap mogok yang agak kritikal, Ashraff refused to cooperate in class. How did we find out? From Ashraff himself. He told us, “Semua orang nyanyi, Ashraff sorang je tak nyanyi.” And everytime we asked him what song or what alphabet/number he learns in school, he’ll give us the same answer everyday – “tak tahu.” And as told earlier, Ashraff kept on refraining himself from peeing in school.

I am worried that this situation will continue, so all I could do is pray. And alhamdulillah, my prayer was answered when after more than one week of crying, he suddenly change to a better person. He is eager and excited to go to school. He’ll wake up on his own and ever willing to change to his school uniform. He has started doing his ‘business’ at school so he now wears no diaper to school.

He has started to sing to us all the songs he learns at school together with the action. He now knows how to differentiate between a boy and a girl, and knows what every colour at the traffic light means. Something which we never have the time to teach him before.

At times there was a sudden gush of “saya” dan “awak” when he was talking to Aliff. It sounds weird and funny, but I guess that indicates the way he communicates with his friends at school. I know that his social skills improves when he starts mentioning some of his friends’ names – John, Girish, Haziq and Farhan – when he talks about school.
“Takde girl ke?”
“Ashraff kan boy. Ashraff kawan dengan boy je lah,” he answered nonchalantly.

I also noticed some positive change in the discipline department. It is easier to negotiate with him now. He suits well with the “Time-Out” method, whereby if he makes one mistake or refuse to follow instruction, I’ll ask him to stand at one corner until he feels sorry for what he did. I tried that before with him but it didn’t work out. He also knows how to keep his toys back to where it belongs if we asked him to. And also make sure that his shoes are put at its designated area whenever he takes it off. Takdelah buat kepala degil dia macam dulu.

He also shows sudden sign of empathy. Like the other day, I fell down right in the middle of a crowd in Danga Bay, Johor. Sakit dan malu. But it was all wiped away when Ashraff asked me “Are you okay?” It caught me at suprise and I almost cried. Sebelum ni, dia akan buat dek je when I’m in pain. Then, I can see that he asked similar question to Aliff whenever he sees Aliff in pain.

Having a conversation with him is a lot of fun. He can argue with you now. And he can asked you lots and lots of questions yang cukup menguji kepintaran ku sebagai seorang dewasa. He amazes me with his knowledge and also his extensive vocabulary, both Malay and English. Gone were the days when we have to force him to sleep. Now he can just doze off anytime he wants to…with ease. I guess going to school tires him down.

One thing about Ashraff that I noticed, he is good when it comes to music. He appreciates music. He can catch the rhythm of a song in flash, and later memorize its lyrics, be it in English, Malay or Japanese (ni kes lagu Ultraman, Shuriken School, Ninja Boy etc). At one time, he took his piggy bank full of coins, and jiggled that thing to a familiar rhythm. I volunteered to become the singer, so both of us became a mother & son duo for the night. I don’t know whether this is good or not, but I definitely oppose to the notion of him becoming a singer.

Ashraff is a big boy already..and he seems to grow and mature overnight. I guess sending him to school really helps to discipline and teach him to become independent. Then again, he still acts as any 3 1/2 year old will do. He still throws tantrums occasionally. He still fights with Aliff. And he still could not share some of his toys. He is also still on bottle. I still have no idea how to wean him. But as at now, it is not a major concern.

Now I have to deal with another toddler in the making..and his name is Aliff.

Aliff

Oh where do I start? Too many things to update. I think I better do it in point form.

Tantrums, tantrums, tantrums. My 15 month old boy can definitely express his dissatisfaction by whining, screaming dan menghempaskan badannya ke lantai seperti ikan atas darat. I’m still finding ways on how to handle his tantrums. The “Distraction Tactic” which works well with Ashraff, does not work effectively with Aliff. He is very focus, I may say. If he wants that thing, it’s only that and nothing else.

At the age of 15 month, Aliff knows how to hold pencil/pen perfectly like any adults do. I think he must have got it from his brother. And just like Ashraff, he also loves to scribble, and I’m trying to make sure he does that only on paper.

He can also dance to any tune, but his dance is funny. It’s more of like marching, rather than dancing.

His vocabulary is wide, compared to his brother at this age. The thing about Aliff he loves to imitate the word that comes out from anyone’s mouth, esp his brother’s. And dia jenis main hentam je. So he’s quite “pelat”. Unlike him, Ashraff is a perfectionist. If he can’t utter the word perfectly, he’ll not say it at all. So that’s why he’s slower when it comes to talking, but when he does, it was perfect. Some of Aliff’s vocab as at todate:-

Cat
Dog
Bird
Ball
Bu – Ibu
Bibik
Abah – Tok Abah
Nak –Hendak
Nanak – Tak nak (Ashraff dulu mat salleh sikit sebab dia cakap “No”)
Chuchu – susu (bottle/breastfeed)
Bukak
Tutup
Amik – Ambik
Abang
Pyman – Spiderman
Donald Duck (perfect! But got mix up with Mickey Mouse)
Shek – Shrek
Onkey – Donkey
Wabbit – Rabbit
Car
Tetit – Sakit
Akut – Takut
Banak – Banyak
Num – Minum
Atuh – Jatuh
Tekan – (suruh kita tekan suis bukak lampu)
Baby
Bayee – Barney

I think banyak lagi but tu je yang I can recall as at now.

He hates formula. So I still have to pump in the office. My BM is running low, so he has to be supplemented. My maid uses a cup and straw to make him drink formula. He’ll take a little.

Gigi? I tak tahu berapa batang yang dah ada. It’s pretty hard to see how much teeth he’s got with his small pouting lips. And he refused to let us open his mouth to see his teeth. But from a quick glimpse, I think he has about 8 teeth. Pretty slow in this department, I think.

He’s still a restless sleeper. He’ll wake up few times at night. Thank God I’m breastfeeding, so I don’t really mind at all. Cuma when he’s teething, he’ll become more restless, and will wake up almost every hour. Menguji kesabaran di situ.

So far, alhamdulillah, dia payah nak menjangkit bila the whole house sakit, and shall recover fast should he’s sick. Ashraff pun dulu macam tu jugak. Seldom sakit masa kecik, but now, almost every two weeks selsema. I think if you don’t build the antibody when you’re smaller (i.e sakit will build antibody), you’re bound to kerap sakit as u gets bigger. I hope Aliff has stronger antibody.

Ok, hubby is here. Gotta go. Till my next post, taaa....

My Two Lil Angels

2008-02-18T14:44:00.001+08:00

It’s been a while since I blog about them. So, expect a loooong entry this time around. More of it is just for my own personal record.

Ashraff vs Aliff (sorry Eiseai, curi idea you for this sub-heading)

Even when I'm pregnant with Aliff, I have somesort of an instinct that the two will be different in terms of characters, judging from the "action" in my tummy. My instinct is right. Here's to sum up some of their differences, right from my pregnancy days:-

1. Ashraff in the tummy - moving actively in the tummy throughout the day. Aliff in the tummy - not that active and I can tell when he's having his nap.

2. Ashraff in tummy - from 12 am and above, hardly any movement. I got a peaceful sleep. True enough, he was a good night baby. Aliff in tummy - active at night, so I know he's not a good night sleeper. True, he's a restless sleeper. Makes all sorts of sounds at night that makes me want to check on him all the time.

3. Ashraff in tummy - pregnancy was a breeze. Aliff in tummy - Quite a bad first trimester, from spotting to thruout-the-day sickness.

4. Ashraff - can latch on (breastfeed) easily. An active nurser. Aliff - took him some time to learn the art of breastfeeding. A lazy one. Will fall asleep everytime he latched on, and will wake up the minute I put him down.

5. Ashraff - a demanding baby. Kuat nangis from day one. Masa dalam pantang cam serik nak beranak lagi. It was so intense and highly stressful during the day (malam dia tidur). The only place that makes him nap longer is on my chest, so I can have a rest too. He sleeps on my chest till he's a giant 6-mo baby. He needs to be carried all the time.

Aliff - a relatively easy baby, alhamdulillah.

6. Ashraff - may be a demanding baby at first. But as he grew up, he was easier to handle. Aliff - works the other way around. Demanding as he gets older.

7. Ashraff - fairly easy to train him to use car seat. Aliff - sampai sekarang will cry and scream as we strap him in car seat.

8. Ashraff - loves stroller. Aliff - hates stroller, loves baby sling. Till now, we are using the sling to carry him around.

9. Ashraff - loves to be center of attention. Loves the crowd. Aliff - clingy. Stress je bila nampak ramai orang.

10. Ashraff - A picky eater. At one time, he only depends on milk (I think I blogged about it long time ago). Aliff - loves to eat, tolak batu & kayu je. Itupun hari tu, sikit lagi dia nak makan batu.

11. Ashraff - loud. Aliff - the quiet type.

12. Ashraff - could not sit still, what more focus. Aliff - can focus a lot longer.

13. Ashraff - soft skills (living skills) ada slow sikit - pandai bukak pintu at the age of 2 1/2 yo, pandai bukak kasut pun lebih kurang 2 1/2, can only eat with his own hands at the age of 2 and using fork and spoon at the age of 3. Sampai sekarang tak pandai pakai seluar sendiri or kasut sendiri. Pedal bicycle pun tak tahu lagi.

Aliff - relatively fast in this area. Except for pedal bicycle and pakai baju sendiri, the rest dia dah pandai.

Because they are so different in every way (even the looks), I am now expecting everything to be the opposite so I have to get ready with tactics and ways to handle it should Aliff meets my expectation, for e.g.

1. Ashraff - only scribble on paper. Aliff - maybe he'll scribble on wall, sofa etc. (Omigod!)

2. Ashraff - No seperation anxiety on first day of school. Aliff - maybe he'll cry and cry..and I have to berkampung kat sekolah itu utk beberapa hari?

Negative betullah Ibu ni!

Ashraff & Aliff

Although they differ in terms of characters and development, they are still brothers.

They adore each other. They are inseperable.

Ashraff loves to give smooches on Aliff's tembun cheeks. And Aliff will show his affection by coming to Ashraff and shove his head to Ashraff’s face. More of like trying to kiss his brother but in quite a rough way.

If one saw the other lying down, he'll come and lie down too. And they will hold hands.

The adik will follow his brother. If they brother jump on the bed (which I don't quite like), the adik will jump too. So they jump together. Two lil cheeky monkeys on my bed, jumping and laughing. Really make my day!

If the brother read book, the adik will try to get a book (usually the same book the brother is reading), so they read book together. If it's of the same book, then Ashraff will "read" to his brother, and his brother will try to imitate the words Ashraff says. Of course, that's is when the brother is in good mood to share. Or else...berentaplah apa lagi.

They'll play together. They're most favourite place is under the dining table. Actually masa kecik dulu Ashraff tak pandai main bawah meja, but since Aliff loves to play under there, Ashraff tags along.

Their secret hiding place is always the walk-in cabinet inside my room. They'll both sneak in, and when they're in, I usually can't hear a sound. So, after few seconds, I got scared, and tried to open the door. And I found them both lying on the floor, having lots of fun. There's this one time Ashraff says to Aliff "Ibu's coming. Syhhhh....". And I'll pretend I didn't know where they are by saying "Where's Ashraff? Where's Aliff?". And I can hear them giggling inside the cabinet. Usually the adik will break free, and come running to me. Then Abang will be frustrated and said "Alaaa...Aliff ni tak pandailah....".

Now, Ashraff loves to comb his brother's hair. "Hair Aliff ni macam girl lah. Macam Rina kat dalam Ultraman Tiga (the heroin). Ashraff pulak macam Diego (the Ultraman himself)". That's the usual remark given by Ashraff.

Those were my best moments..my stress reliever after a hard day at work. No amount of massage or relflexeology could beat that.

But of course, those were the good moments. How about the not-so-nice part?

The not-so-nice part involves a fight, screaming and whining of a 3 yo and 1 yo boys.

Ashraff was known to be the biggest bully in the house, and to Aliff especially. But now, Aliff knows how to play equal. He can defend for his right. And he can even bully Ashraff in return.

He wants almost anything that is in Ashraff’s hands, eventhough it is exactly the same looking toys or pencil or whatever. Nope, we can’t substitute with anything else. Either Ashraff has to give up, or Aliff will continue screaming for that thing. Berentap dengan abang dia. Pening kepala makcik!

He is also a great destroyer when it comes to almost anything, and yang selalu jadi mangsa is Ashraff’s toys or books. Kejap-kejap tercabut kaki, kejap-kejap hilang tayar, kejap-kejap koyak and lagi worst, pecah berderai terus. For the past 3 years, the book is in condition. Sampai kat tangang Aliff, bang! terburai. Ashraff goes berserk everytime that happens. The short-tempered brother will push Aliff till he falls down..and sometimes bang his head on the table sharp edges (!). But that lil boy hardly cries. Dengan muka dek, dia akan bangun and cuba ambik barang tu semula. Ibu goes berserk as well…hahaha…

Well, I guess the love-hate relationship is normal between siblings. Cuma I need to improve myself on how I can handle the "hate" part. I'm currently reading a book "Raising Boys" loaned by my friend. Interesting...and a must have for parents with boys. Probably it can help me in raising my two boys in a more healthy environment. I just wish I have more time with them to really understand them.

Oh, I just hang my boys picture in this small cubicle of mine in the office. It's indeed a stress reliever and a source for motivation for me. It also makes me want to go back home..like right now!

Events in January, Blog in February

2008-02-12T18:31:00.000+08:00

4 days holiday was a bliss. It gives me enough time to recuperate my energy, although I do wish it could be longer. So I hope no more depressing entry like my last one. It sounds pathetic when I re-read it today…haha. Anyway, here are some of my long past events which I think I ought to blog about it.

….About our new house

We took the keys to our house on 5th January 2007. We were both excited to see the house, eventhough it was entirely empty. Mak and Abah share the joy with us. And Ashraff too. He just loves the echoing sound of an empty house.

Now we are scratching our heads on how to finance the renovation cost. Our pockets are shallow, and renovation is costly. Even building kitchen cabinets costs a bomb. What are we thinking when we thought of hiring an ID consultant before? Now we have to ponder on decorating the house on our own. Not that we can’t do it. But we need some professional help in some areas…like colour coordination and decorative items. Any FOC advise here?:)

…About our 5th Anniversary

It’s on 17th January this year. I can’t believe it. We were married for half a decade! How time flies!

Usually for anniversary, we do not have the exchange of gifts ritual. That’s exclusively for birthdays only. Finding gifts for the same person twice a year is a lot of hassle…haha.
So for anniversary, we only dine out in some exclusive restaurant.

Except this year, I decided to celebrate it with our special 5th Anniversary cake. So I ordered Hubby’s all-time favourite cake – the yummylicious baked cheese cake – without Hubby’s knowledge. Hubby was happy and surprised to see the lovely cake.

We had a simple cake-cutting ceremony right after dinner (that explains why we didn't dress out properly).

Then only yesterday we both had the chance to dine out at LeMeridian's fine dining restaurant. The food is superb! Thanks to ChefAyie who made the meal extra special for both of us (and also great discount on the meal..haha).

I’m thankful that after 5 years of marriage we are blessed with two adorable boys and still a happy marriage life. Alhamdulillah.

That's it for now. I really want to blog about my two lil cherub, but I guess that'll take quite some time and I don't have extra left. Shall do in my next post. Till then, tata...

Added just a few seconds ago:-

"Thanks a lot for the positive comments for my last post. When I blogged about it, I feel partly relieve from my daily stressful life, but when I got the motivation and word of encouragement from my fellow bloggers, it really boost my energy! It makes me feel that my life doesn't suck big time like I used to think it was...Thanks, thanks!"

All work and no play....

2008-02-05T19:16:00.000+08:00

...makes me a dull woman.

Ok. Let me see...

Option 1 : Ask for a transfer of department. (But to where?)
Option 2 : Tender resignation (But who’s going to pay my loan?)
Option 3 : Enrol in a stress management course (is this effective?)

I’m tired. Dead tired.

Work has been tremendously challenging in this new department. I work productively for full 8 hours, even beyond that. Everyday is an intense and highly stress moment. Everything URGENT. This one on my desk After about one month in this department, I ended up having headache almost everyday, towards evening. I think I better check my BP.

There was this one time where I actually broke down and cry. Could not take it any longer. It doesn’t help when all my female collegues are still single, thus, I could not share with them the situation I’m in. Me, a married woman with two kids, having to juggle between a demanding full-time job and an equally tough parenting task. I’m not sure whether I can be good at both when my mental and physical energy have been sucked out from my body system. Letihnya…

I wanted to blog about this misery long before today…just so that I could let go some of the boiling pressure I have inside. And as I am writing this, I feel like crying. Never for the entire 8 years working in this corporate world had I feel such burden. Partly because I devote more than half of my day doing something which I don’t quite like doing.

One thing for sure, I can’t let this thing from prolonging. It will effect my role as wife and mother…and it will definitely affect my health. Hmmm….what should I do?

Busy!

2008-01-15T08:00:00.000+08:00

Dear Blog,

I think I shall be neglecting you for a while...or for an indefinite time. Life has been pretty busy in this new department I'm in. Workload is tremendously heavy due to the following reasons:-

1. I'm still in the process to learn and get to know the clients I shall be handling - the background, the problem, the modus operandi and the status of the accounts. Thus, it takes time for me to process any of their requests. So, as you can see, the backlog is pilling up, and I really don't have a clue how I'm gonna finish it.

2. We are having data migration now. We are gonna chuck out the old system and implement a new one. Thus, we have to do the data migration even during the weekends. My family time is basically ripped off!

3. This new department I'm in, the support staff i.e. the clerical sucks big time. Attitude problem. One is slower than a snail. Another, kaki mengular and always missing in action. And another one, extremely rude. I don't know why the bad ones are placed under the same roof. Must be a karma or something. Thus, I have to do the simple clerical job on top of my already heavy workload. Makcik cam nak pitam, okay?!

Well, let's just put it in one word....OVERWORK! That's the best word to describe the situation I'm in currently. So, I do not have time to do other things including blogging. I'll be working late almost every day...and over the weekends as well. Feel like crying and shouting at the same time. Huwaaaa!!

Then again, every cloud has a silver lining. I hope that things won't last forever. One, I hope I can catch up fast and do my work more efficiently. Two, I hope the HR will look into the possibility of changing the support staffs....Three, worst come to worst, if the situation prevails, I shall ask for a transfer..hahaha..

As at now, I can't promise when I'll blog again. Or bloghopping. I know I shall be missing doing so...especially cathing up with the juicy stories from my fellow bloggers. I'll succumb myself to work..and only work. What a dull life this going to be..huwaaaa!!

Oh, despite that, I can still find time to update my other window...hehe. My fellow blog readers, please check out CMOG's cheaper version of personalized chocolate wrapper and our promotion for school's newspaper!

So long now, do take care..and till we meet again.

Love,
Rafiqah.

It's First Day of School!

2008-01-04T18:01:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was Ashraff's first day of school. Was I emotional? Of course I am! Seeing him wearing a unifrom is totally unbelievable. I can't believe I am a mother of a schooling kid. Okay, probably a lil bit exaggerating as he is only in kindergarten, but hey..every mother will feel the same way as I do.

By 7.30 am, he was wide awake. I guess he was excited as well. Had his milk. I had to warn him that he'll not be getting any milk until the school is over, so he better finishes up his milk. Ashraff is a heavy milk drinker, so I'm a tad worry that he could not focus well should he does not get his dose of milk from 8am to 12pm. However, I believe he should be fine. It takes a lil bit of adjustment, initially.

Anyway, the day went out well. Ashraff suits the new environment well, as expected. He didn't even look back at me the moment he has entered the classroom. By the way, Ashraff's class consists of 13 students - 6 boys, 7 girls. A well-mixed class - Chinese, Indian and Malay (and one African kid). By right, I could just leave him since he's doing fine. But the mother in me really wants to have a glimpse of what he's doing in class. So there I was with few other mothers, peeping in the window to see what's going on. Of course, there are few kids who are crying, but Ashraff has been talking to the teacher. Asking the teacher 1001 questions, and him being him, just could not sit still at one spot. At about 9.30, I left the school.

The first two days (yesterday and today) are the orientation days for the kids, just to let them settle in. So the day just ends at 11 am instead of 12 pm. Yesterday, Ashraff was completely fatigue as I fetched him from school. Monyok sekali mamat tu! Balik rumah, tukar baju, drank 8oz of milk and terus tidur. Bangun tidur, dia cakap "Ashraff penatlah.." Erk! I was scared he refuse to go to school the next day. Alhamdulillah, he's still excited to go. He looked a lot more cheerful as the school ends.

Another thing that I noticed is Ashraff tahan from peeing at school. Balik rumah terus membuang. Erk! This is not good. The teacher did ask every now and then who wants to go to toilet, but Ashraff refused to go. Emmm...my plan is to have a chat with the teacher after one month if this thing prolongs.

Anyway, proper classes shall start next week. The school gives me a 8-week planner, so that I could keep track on what Ashraff learns in school. Thus, we parents could ask a more specific question instead of the general like "What do u learn in school?". Next week, they'll learn about boy and girl. Oh, I hope Ashraff knows how to differentiate between the two as he's still very much confused..and it does not help as he has a brother who is of the same gender..har, har, har.

Some pictures of Ashraff on his first day of school...

Dari "Bungalow" Ke "Teres"

2007-12-28T20:49:00.000+08:00

Inilah padahnya kalau sesorang itu berpindah dari ruang yang lebih besar kepada ruang yang lebih kecik...dia tak tahu mana nak sumbat barang dia yang banyak tu!

Inilah yang terjadi pada diriku sekarang ini...

As you know, today will my last day working in my beloved room. The landlord i.e the Bank has decided to rent it out to other person. So from a room with 6 doors built-in cabinet, I'm left with merely a cubicle, which is already packed with lots and lots of files. Now I don't know where to put two boxes full of my personal files, which mainly contains of modules and handouts I received from all the trainings and courses that I attended to before. Sayang nak buang, as you might not know when you'll need them again. Plus bahan ilmu tidak elok untuk dibuang begitu sahaja. Like the souvenirs and all the decorative items, I think I have to put it in another box and bawak balik rumah. Memenuhkan stor Mak yang memang sedia ada penuh.

Oh, if you think I'm down-graded, nope I'm not. I'm still the executive cabuk kat ini Bank. Cumanya my former branch is treated differently. We were given a room each, kononnya nak compensate the heavy workloads and responsibilities yang ada.

Now that I'm moving to a new branch, kenalah tinggalkan priviledge yang ada. Cumanya after working here for the past 2 years, I've accumulated quite a lot of things. Personal files i.e. my insurance, housing loan, bills2, receipts, tax files yang dulunya di simpan di rumah semuanya di bawa ke office. Sebabnya kat rumah Mak takde space nak letak barang-barang camni. Tendency nak hilang tu lebih besar. So now, that I'm moving to a narrower space, kenalah angkut balik barang-barang ini semula ke rumah. Ishk...

Now, I really can't wait to pindah rumah so I could arrange this personal files just like I did in my office. Very the organized.

Oh, by the way, I've had a discussion with the person who I'm going to replace in the new department. Yup, I'm handling drama loans. Deal with lots of drama producers. So before you scream with joy, let me tell you one thing, producers are not celebrities. Their names might not be famous in public. But of course, some producers are artistes themselves...but they are not the easiest creature to deal with. Gosh! But hey, I've got the opportunity to see them shoot, so if I want to mingle with celebrities also can...:)

Another thing that worries me is the secrecy act. Of course, we bankers are bounded by this act i.e. we could not disclose client's info to other people. Hmmm...I've been thinking this will be hard thing to follow. It would not be interesting if I told my Hubby "Company xxx ni tak bayar hutang 6 bulan!" Hubby mesti akan buat muka "so what!" dia.

But it'll be damn interesting kalau I told him "Suh@n Mov1ies tak bayar 6 bulan. Kitaorang nak sue company tu, lepas tu owner dia menangis depan I!" Hahaha...It's so interesting you really have the urge to share the story with someone else! Ishk..ni yang payah ni. But being the banker me, I'll try not to tell stories. Kalau bapak auditor i.e. Bank Negara tahu, mati beb. Hilang soru tiap bulan nanti...
And don't come and ask me "Hey Rafiqah, ada gossip panas tak sekarang ni?" the next time you see me...
(By the way, that producer I mentioned above is a good paymaster..so don't go around telling people in public that we are sueing them. Itu sebagai contoh saja).

Another interesting thing is a friend just told me ...

"Apa lagi Rafiqah..now is the time for you to market your C.M.O.G products to this showbiz people...Mana tau diaorang nak buat launching filem ke, you bolehlah provide chocolate wrapper you as door gift!"

Erk! Sorry babe, seriously when I deal with a client, I'm strictly a banker. I memang tak tahu nak sambil menyelam minum air ni. I guess I'm afraid that my life will be at stake should I try to market my part-time biz with my Bank's client. None of my clients even the corporate ones who have annual dinner every year knows that I have side biz. But hey, who knows kan...Kalau ada rezeki that'll be a good opportunity for me to explore..emm..emm...

Updates and Photos

2007-12-26T07:41:00.000+08:00

Thanks a lot for the comments I received from my last entry (although I have replied individually in the comment's box). Somehow or rather having posted that entry, makes me feel at ease. One thing I know is I'm not alone in this. This is part and parcel of becoming a parent. But having posted the entry also somehow makes me calmer than before. Everytime nak marahkan Ashraff or continue to do so, I'd suddenly remember this entry...and all the comments I received, and somehow it stops me from acting irrationally. I guess just like any motivational or stress management course you've attended to, you need to have a refresher course every now and then, and having posted my last entry is like a refresher course to me (so expect a similar kind of entry in the future..hehe). Thanks.

Now, a little bit of update about my life...

1. Remember the rumours about me to be transferred to a new department? Finally, I've received the letter that I've been waiting for from the HR. Alhamdulillah, I shall be working in another department i.e. Special Financing Branch, handling all the micro loans from 2nd January onwards. Meaning which, I shall remain working in the same building, with the same commuting convenience. But of course, the workload is not the same. It is heavier as the quantity are larger. So dengar cerita, Sabtu Ahad pun ada yang datang kerja (yikes!). But in numerical terms they are much lesser (nama pun micro kan). So kalau one loan turns bad, at least it doesn't cost the Bank millions of ringgit. There is a possibility (i.e a rumour) that I shall be handling tabung perfileman, so meaning which I have to monitor celebrities' accounts and collecting debts from them. Emmm...macam bestkan? Tapi betul ke best? Tungguuu....

2. We have choosen to register Ashraff to a kindergarten very near to my parents' house. Within walking distance, so Abah/Mak could help us to fetch Ashraff after school. The fees I would say is on the high side compared to some other schools that we went to, but the arrangement suits us best. More convenient. Ashraff couldn't wait to go to school, but we are kinda afraid that it took him some time to adjust waking up early in the morning. He usually wakes up around 8-8.30. School starts at 8.30. Not much adjustment to make, except that it took him sometime to get rid of his "kutu mamai" lepas baru bangun tido. Dia jenis yang suka baring golek-golek sampai 1/2 hour, minum susu, suka delay his bathing time. I'm afraid after sometime he refused to go to school because he is restricted in a way. Will see about that...

3. We have received a letter to take possession of our new house, and we plan to take the key next Saturday, insyaAllah. Can't wait to see our brand new house. Now we are finding an effective way to sell our Cheras's condo. Any recommendation? Or better still, any taker?

Of course, with the completion of the house, our cashflow is badly affected as we have to pay the principal sum. Good times are over, folks! Time to open up our family budget for year 2008. With expected increase in fuel and toll price, we will definitely cut down our holiday fund and expenditure on children's toys and clothings. Thank God my credit card balance is zero. Hope I can maintain this as long as I can. Oh by the way, do anyone of you know and good interior design consultant? Saja nak usha-usha:)

Ok, rujuk entry di bawah for some snapshots of Ashraff and Aliff's birthday bash. I'm making an entry of its own.

Birthday Photos

2007-12-26T07:30:00.000+08:00

Finally, I've received two CDs containing about 300 photos of Ashraff & Aliff's birthday party. Lovely captures of the day, I must say! Credit to Zubye. Here are some snapshots...

THE DECO

Red and blue canopy

THE FAVOUR

Adults only favour

THE FOOD

(Alhamdulillah we have good response on this part. Credit to Hubby and Mak! Didn't get to enjoy eating them myself.)

Baked Macaroni (courtesy of Chef Daud)

Fried Meehoon (courtesy of Tok Lon)

Kuih-muih and drinks (drp pelbagai supplier..hihi)

Hawker Style Char Kuey Teow

ABC anyone?!

THE CAKE

Chocolate Moist Cake (with some cruncy filling) from Ezy Cakes Sdn Bhd.

THE BIRTHDAY BOYS

Every kid gets a Spidey sticker

CAKE-CUTTING

BUBBLE TIME

THE GUEST

To all who came, thanks for coming to our birthday party. Ibu shall update you with photos from her own personal camera (before and after party) later. And Ibu also said she wants to add all the 300+ photos in her Facebook album, if she got that extra time to do so:)

-Ashraff & Aliff-

Anger Management?

2007-12-21T09:37:00.000+08:00

Ni ala2 entry membuka pekung di dada lah..but I need to blog about it and probably get a lil bit of advise from fellow bloggers. And yeah, I know..this is still not the entry which some of you are waiting for, which is pix for Ashraff & Aliff's birthday bash. InsyaAllah kalau dapat gambar by today, I'll post an entry about it next week.

**************************

Each an every blood vessel in my body is filled with The Bugis blood. Mak berketurunan Bugis and Abah too. And the infamous Bugis people is well-known for their "cepat naik darah" attitude. Keturunan lanun. So that explains a lot why my patient level is very low. Cuma in public, I seldom showed my true colour so that's why some of my school friends or officemates do not know the real me...hehe.

Masa kecik, kalau marah, masyaAllah, macam nak pecah satu rumah. Abah, who has the same patient level with I do, memang tak boleh tahan dengan my perangai. So we ended up fighting with each other. Only Mak who can calm me down. The ever patient Mak, who tolerates with both her husband and her daughter's behaviour. I don't know how she does it, but she is so calm...she doesn't nag, despite me yang memang mudah menjawab dan menunjukkan aksi degil tahap lampau. But sekali dia marah, I tell you, it is really pain in the ass. She will end up not talking to you for few days, until you said you are sorry..and prove to her that u really feel sorry for your misbehaviour. She will use all sort of gadgets - rotan, hanger, tali pinggang. Berbirat kaki kalau sekali dia libas, but eventually she'll be the one who bubuh ubat sambil bagi nasihat yang sepatutnya. With that, she managed to discipline me...and I'm inspired with the method she used. I simply hate mothers who nag, and berazam takkan tergolong dalam kategori itu.

Somehow it wasn't the easiest thing to do. Ashraff is getting bigger and my God, he's really testing our patient. He's definitely my product. I can see myself in him. But, my mum-in-law pun cakap my husband is never that patient, as compared to his siblings. Just like me, dia pun mewarisi perangai Ayahnya. So, I would say Ashraff is a combination of both of us. But I have been expected this since he was born. Dengan attitude dia yang kuat nangis, I can sense that he has quite a temper. And me being a first time mother yang tidak mempunyai kesabaran yang tinggi, terus ala-ala give up dengan perangai kuat nangis Ashraff. At one time, I rasa macam taknak tgk muka Ashraff. "Take him away from me! I can't stand him crying non-stop. I nak tidur," I told Hubby. Camtulah lebih kurang. Ishk, teruknya kan...

But will all the parenting articles I've read, your child mirrors you. Meaning which, kalau u jenis pemarah, anak akan turut sama. So, I tried to change myself. Tried to reduce my temper. Tried to act calm whenever Ashraff throws tantrum. Tried to smile despite him crying so loud in the public. I attended lots of parenting seminars..and read parenting books to help me in my mission.

Alhamdulillah, it works. When I was preggy with Aliff, I have to say I'm patient and calmer. Nobody in the family congratulate me for this achievement, or maybe they just didn't notice. But I can sense the difference and I'm proud of myself when I can control my temper from erupting. Bila Ashraff nangis stail jerit-jerit je, I cuma tengok je muka dia. Takde pun perasaan meluap nak marah datang. Ntah macam ada pendinding je I rasa masa tu.

I guess that's why Aliff is a calmer and much more patient boy. Cry only when it's necessary. Alhamdulillah.

Cuma now, I no longer have that patient. I'm back to my old self. The grumpy Rafiqah Eliza. For the past few days, I've been thinking about this. What's got into me? Why can't I be patient like when was preggy with Aliff before? Is it because Ashraff is harder to handle? Is his pastering become more persistent? Maybe. But I should be more patient no matter what the situation is.

Sekarang ni kalau salah sikit je, I dah terus marah. Kalau mamat tu nangis style menjerit sket, dengan I sekali menjerit-jerit marahkan dia. I'm scared that Ashraff/Aliff will learn that it's okay to shout if you are angry. Bila Ashraff snatch barang from Aliff's hand and Aliff menangis, I easily pissed off with Ashraff so I will end up snatching the thing back from Ashraff's hand. This is definitely the wrong approach! I'm trying to teach him not to snatch barang, tapi I pulak yang snatch from him. Goodness..I hate myself for not being able to control my temper and for not thinking rationally before I act.

Hari tu Ashraff marah and dia baling barang kat dinding. Berkecai toys tu. I pun hangin satu badan. Tak boleh tahan betul. So, I pun marah lah tahap gaban kat dia. I don't hit him, but I'm actually nagging. Omigod! Bertambah teruklah marah Ashraff. He was so angry sampai merah-merah muka dia, and muka rebellious dia pun terserlah. Dia roar macam lion...and masa tu I dah naik takut pulak dah. Apa pulak yang dah rasuk badan Ashraff ni? So I berastaghafar and alhamdulillah my temper level goes down. I urut2 dada Ashraff and hug him. He pushed me away, coz he was really mad. My God! Tahap marah aku dah mula nak naik balik, tapi nasib baik tidak. So I just let Ashraff cry...cry as much and as loud as he wants too. After about 10 mins, I agak2 dah surut sikit nangis dia, I went and hug him again. And asked him why is he angry in the first place. He refused to tell and kept on crying out loud. But after a while, he told me the reason. I said to him, it's okay to be angry...but Ibu doesn't like the way he expressed it..and I'm trying to come out with a good way to express anger but failed miserably. Tetiba blank. Any idea on how a 3yo could express anger in a "nicer" way?

And as for me, I think I better re-read the "Cool Mum Super Dad" book...and also re-attend some parenting seminars. The Khalifah method seminar is a good way to start with. I was thinking of reading books about raising boys...and perhaps a Chicken Soup for the Soul so that I'll appreciate parenting more. And I think Hubby needs to do this too. After all, dia pun cepat panas macam I jugak. Kitaorang ni sama. Cepat panas dan cepat reda. Mak told mum-in-law the other day that kalau bebudak ni gaduh, sekejap je dah baik. Hey, camne dia boleh tahu kitaorg gaduh ni? Puas cover takut mak tahu okay...hehe..

With Ashraff pulak, reward-based method works the best. I was thinking of making a chart with star stickers. If u act good, then you'll get one sticker. And upon receiving an X number of stickers, he's entitled for a reward. But is it good to give him rewards all the time? I'm scared he'll take advantage of this. Ashraff ni manipulative okay..idea dia sgt banyak...hehe. But on the other hand, we'll be buying him toys/cds/books anyway, so why not buy something for him when he acts good?

Ishk...banyaknya yang I need to learn to become a good parent...Ni baru ada dua orang anak. Kalau ada few more with different personalities, lagilah mencabar. But whatever it is, I believe we have to improve ourselves and lifestyles first, before we could expect our children to do so. That is for me the hardest part. And of course, not forgotten, prayers and du'a.

The Pavillion

2007-12-17T18:11:00.000+08:00

Unlike some people who can write beautifully in a flash, it took me quite some time to come out with a proper and well-written entry. My English is deteriorating due to the fact that we used Bahasa Melayu as our main language here at work. So basically I'm stuck in the middle now. English so-so, BM pun so-so jugak. Since I'm pretty much tied up with work, I'm going to use the "sempoi" and "rojak" approach for my entry. Nak jimat masa.

Anyway, kitaorang every weekend mesti keluar, usually on Saturday. Kalau Sunday, sampai tengahari je. Petang to malam, we would prefer to stay at home to prepare our mind and body for work the very next morning.

Last weekend, we decided to go to the brand new The Pavillion KL (MummyRizq mesti dah tahu every ceruk kat shopping mall ni since office dia depan tu je). I got a lil bit sentimental when visiting this place as my school used to be built on the same piece of land. I got more sentimental bila Hubby cakap "entah-entah tempat yang kita diri sekarang ni used to be your classroom". Tidak!! Tetiba lagu "This used to be my playground" nyanyian Madonna berkumandang kat dalam kepala.

Well, this place is huge! Rasa macam lagi besar daripada MidValley. Sakit jugak tapak kaki menapak dari satu hujung ke hujung yang lain. The stores inside are similar to those that you can find at Suria KLCC...or probably more. Ashraff was mesmerized with the Christmas deco, and I had to explain what is Christmas Tree to him. Hey, seriously tak berjaya ok that part sebab I pun taktau the answer for it.

And then just like the Curve, ada one level tu penuh dengan shops selling children's stuffs...Baby Gap, Hallmark, Giordano Jr, Pumpkin patch etc. Naik julinglah mata tgk baju bebudak. The only thing that stopped us from buying them lots of baju is because Ashraff and Aliff dah dapat banyak baju as hadiah masa party hari tu. It's no different than any other children shops...cumanye it's more children-friendly. Dalam satu kedai tu ada slide...lepas tu ada satu kedai pulak ada TV pasang cerita Finding Nemo...and then ada satu kedai tu sediakan kerusi meja and colouring page untuk bebudak. So apa lagi, Ashraff and Aliff had a really jolly good time...

At Pumpkin Patch...

The salesgirl siap hang lagi hasil kerja Ashraff. Ashraff tersipu-sipu malu tengok kerja dia kena tampal kat dinding. Yelah, first timekan kena pamer kerja in public...Ibu pulak terbeli 3 helai T-shirt sementara tunggu anak di habis colour...

Main slide at Giordano Jr....

Aliff yang kepenatan tidur selama 2 jam di dalam stroller dan sambung lagi satu jam kat dalam kereta dan rumah...

Senang cerita, we spent like almost 4 hours there. Tapi I don't think we cover the whole place. Yang sedihnya, we all tak dapat nak beli J Co Donuts & Coffee sebab beratur panjang amat. Sampai melimpah keluar kedai. Tak dapat beli yang tu, we went all the way to 6th floor to jengah Big Apple Donut pulak. Tengok2 tutup (ke kedai tak bukak lagi). Frust! So petang tu jugak Hubby pergi Tesco Cheras to buy Big Apple. Lazat!

One thing yang best masa pergi Pavillion ni is Ashraff tak buat hal. This is the first time we tried to talk to him dalam kereta on the way pergi supaya jangan mintak apa-apa toys and CD. Kalau buku, I don't mind buying. And alhamdulillah he listens...so takdelah aksi2 jerit2 satu shopping mall tengok kat The Pavillion KL...

This is not supposed to be my next entry...

2007-12-13T07:47:00.000+08:00

but I just had to express it on the blog, just to release the stress I have inside. I know, I'm supposed to post some pix of A&A's birthday party, but I haven't got time to transfer the photos from my camera..and the professional pix will only come next week, so yeah...be it.

Anyway, here's the story. Rumours have been going on in the office saying that I have to be transferred out from KL branch. In a way, I'm glad coz this a branch is one hell of a branch to work in. Too political. Too many people focussing on this branch since it's the main branch and the management expects you to perform.

But the rumours just stop there. It doesn't say where shall I be transferred to. And that worries me. What if I'm going to be placed in a branch located outside from KL? The nearest branch is in Shah Alam, and I could not bear the thought of having to travel there every morning, what more to branches located far away...Penang? Johor? or worse still Tawau? Kota Kinabalu? I'll be damn!

Oh gosh! What should I do?

Finally...It's over!

2007-12-10T10:09:00.000+08:00

My body especially my feet is still aching from the "aftermath". But it was all worth it.

Alhamdulillah, the party turned out to be just as planned. I haven't been disclosing the whole story behind the party, coz I'm scared that it did not turn out well, or worse still, tak jadi langsung. So here it is.

The Plan

Mak wanted to have an open house for Raya this year coz the last open house we had was, I think, 5 years ago. And I, wanted to have a small gathering for Aliff's 1st birthday. At first, I don't think I wanted to organize any party for Aliff, but after a second thought, it wasn't fair to him as we did one for Ashraff. Then we thought of Ashraff. Ashraff might feel left-out on the day itself when we told him the birthday party is for Aliff. So that's it. The verdict is out....we want to have 3-in1 occassion at one go!

The Initial Preparation

Hubby wanted it to be grander than the usual, in terms of everything especially the food. He said this is to be fair to the guests, as they might feel obligated to buy two presents to the party. So there I was working on a budget. Of course, if you guys have been reading my blog, I've been planning for this party since the first quarter of the year.

At first, the whole planning part was dumped on me alone. I took it as a challenge, but after a while, I got all stressed out. So, I delegate the food and food setting part to Hubby. I gave him the budget and told him he's free to choose what kind of food, how many type of food and in whatever way just as long as it is within the budget. And he's also in charge of the seating, canopy, buffet table and all. If you've attended my party and found the food to be good/no good, that's my Hubby job...hehe.

The rest, especially the invites, deco and favours, are mine. I told Hubby I wanted to have a theme party this time around, and I have to crack my head to find a suitable theme that will interest Ashraff. Of course, it has to be superhero character. He loves Ultraman a lot, so that is our first choice, but we found out it's pretty hard to get Ultraman's party supplies. Then we thought of Spiderman and Batman. Aliff becomes Batman, and Ashraff is the Spiderman. Bila fikir pasal deco and favours, I slasheed out the Batman, and left with only Spiderman. So there it was "Ashraff and Aliff's Spiderman Birthday Bash".

Then on the favours. I've decided to have adult favours, kids, favours, toddlers favours and babies favours, and I have to categorise my guest according to their ages (meaning which I have to go into the extend of finding out anak diaorang umur berapa..hehe.) Kerja gila? Yes, it is! I naik separuh gila buat all the favours! Hahaha...

Adult's favour - chocolate chip, personalized choc wrapper (sorry kalau ada yg tak dapat sebab tak cukup) and a bookmark from Sydney.

Kids' favour - a personalized colouring book with Ashraff and Aliff's simple biodata and photo inside, crayon/colour pencil and personalized choc wrapper.

Toddlers' favour - personalized choc wrapper and a toy car.

Babies' favour - a rattle and baby biscuit.

I'm sorry sekiranya ada kekurangan pada favours.

We did plan to hire a Spiderman mascot but when have a look at the photo, Spiderman dia macam pakai baju melayu je. Tak cantik langsung! With such an exorbitant price they are charging, it is not worth at all. So, we scrape that idea of having a mascot.

The last minute preparation

I took two days off before the day, for that very last minute preparation. Abah cakap I macam nak kahwinkan anak...hehe. The whole two days was spent buying extra favours (in case it was not sufficient for the guest), decorate and hang up the banner, packaging the favours, decorating the walls with Mr Spidey, figuring out to do the spiderweb, and with the help from Mak, I would be able to come out with one. Thank God my sis-in-law was there to help me.

The canopy people came in to set-up the canopy. I was mesmerized by the bright blue and red 20ft x 20ft canopy. Too bad they could not get red chairs to go with the blue tablecloth.

And then there was this weather issue that I was sick worried about. The whole of that two days, it was raining cats and dogs throughout the day. We were praying hard that the weather turned out fine on the day itself. And alhamdulillah, it was. The sun decided to show up on that day, but it wasn't extremely hot. The weather was..emmm....just nice...

The Day

In the morning, we spent our time decorating the house with red and blue balloons. Hubby was on the road, grabbing some last minute supplies, like the balloon bouquet, an extra helper, food. At the same time, I had to reschedule Aliff's nap time, as that choosen time 3-5pm is usually Aliff's nap time. So we had to drag his morning nap time to about 12 pm (which coincides with Ashraff's nap time), and another nap after the party.

In the morning, I had few guests who dropped by since they could not make it in the evening.

Sharp 3 o'clock, the first guest arrived, which is none other than my humble photographer, Zubye. Thank you so much for willing to sacrifice your holiday just to come to my sons' party. Then a whole lotta guests came rushing in. We were panicky as the food wasn't ready at that time. We did not hire a caterer, so we had to set the table ourselves. Tu yg agak kelam-kabut sekejap. Of course, I had to be the one distributing the favours to the guest, as no one wants to take the responsibility to do so. Takut salah bagi sebab ada macam-macam jenis. Yeah...

Cake cutting is as planned, which is at about 4 pm. I didn't really notice but mak told me that tak ramai kids near the cake cutting table at that time. Maybe sebab semua sibuk makan. And I was too busy to invite the kids to go inside for cake-cutting ceremony.

I have to say it was a full house, though some sent me text messages saying that they could not make it. I completely understand, and insyaAllah we'll meet in some other occassion.

All in all, I'm glad that it is all over. Despite the party being smooth (I think!), I have some regrets though:-

1. I completely forgotten to keluarkan the party hats which I planned to make the kids wear it during cake-cutting. I SHOULD have put it at the cake cutting table beforehand. Now, 20 blue and red party hats lying idle in the storeroom. Any takers?

2. I forgot to introduce the photographer to my mother, father and in-laws. Now I'm not sure whether their faces are captured at all.

3. The house was overwhelmed with lots of guest. Too many sampai I tak sempat nak have a one-to-one chat with most of you. I'm so sorry sekiranya layanan tidak memuaskan. Maybe we'll catch up with each other stories in a more comfortable setting next time around.

4. I didn't get to bid a proper farewell to Izreen. After she has left, Hubby told me she's living to UK on the 18th, and we shall be seeing each other again in one year time. Goodness me...I'm so very sorry Izreen!

I shall learn from these mistakes.

To our guests, thank you so much for coming!
Thank you for the gifts (in whatever form...toys, clothes, books, money)...
and thank you for adjusting to any imperfection.

It feels good to be able to meet these people that I have known in the virtual world and hope we can continue to become good friends - Zubye, Zatul (thanks for that lovely email invites), Emly, Marlina, Eiseai, Dotty, MommyAlif, Ibuhaziq..did I miss anyone?

Special thanks to Firdaus and Emy for helping me out with packaging the favours and taking the cake...
To Jasmin for helping me sourcing out the supplies, giving me some valuable party ideas and entertaining the kids with bubble...
To my sis-in-law, Siti for helping me with the balloon deco and my mom-in-law for helping to look after Aliff while I'm busy decorating the house.
And Sheila & Atan for loaning your maid to us.

Of course, this party would not be possible without the help of the anchor people - Mak for helping in the kitchen, Abah for beautifying the landscape and re-paint the house...and Hubby for your all-time support. Thanks, thanks...and thanks a lot...

I shall upload the photos taken from our own camera later. And once I got some photos from Zubye, I shall do the same. Can't wait, seriously...

Ehem, we plan to have a big do in 3 years time..when Ashraff is 6 and Aliff is 4..and kalau ada adik lagi, masukkan sekali dalam agenda...hehe..InsyaAllah, sekiranya umur panjang...

2 weeks to go!

2007-11-27T17:55:00.000+08:00

Erkk..it's two weeks to go and I still got loads to do and prepare. I'm in panic state now.

Let me see, what I have done so far...

Invites : print and will send by tomorrow. Mana yg tak sempat di hantar, there'll be an email version as invites. So, do email me so I could send u the invitation.

Favours : Half-way done. The adult's almost done. Tinggal packaging part. The children's, I am still waiting for the favours from the printing company that I engaged. I really hope it turns out alright. The infants yang belum lagi. Favours pun belum beli lagi. Erkkk..

Cake: checked.

Food: Main food, checked. Side dishes, not 100%. I leave this to Hubby. I don't think I can handle everything.

Balloons: checked.

Banner: Thot of ordering one, but looking at the price, terus tak jadi. So, plan to do our own. Bought the kain putih already. We'll see how. Worse comes to worse, no banner...hehe..

Activities: Don't think there is any. Perhaps some bubble time...or borrow some kiddie equipment from my friends so the kids can kill their time when they're there.

Photographer: Oh, this adds up to my misery last week. My initially hired photographer, who happens to be my friend, has to undergo an emergency operation scheduled on the same day as Ashraff & Aliff's bday. So, I had to find another photographer, and I was panicky as it's so last minute. Alhamdulillah, I managed to find one.

Sounds like a big do, isn't it? Nope, it isn't! So do not expect one..hehe. There's no mascot or entertainer or confetti. It's just a simple party, but because it's for two, me and hubby want it to be a bit grander than the very simple makan-makan we had before. That's all. I'm just hoping things go out the way we want it to be. And my utmost hope is for the boys (and the organizers) to be healthy and lively that day...And of course, the weather is fine. Hope, hope, pray, pray...

P.S : I got to know from a party planner that a couple paid RM6,000.00 just for balloon decorations for their son's 1st birthday party. Gosh...I can't believe people are willing to spend so much for a mere 1st birthday!